Chapter 12
Lexi
“What the fuck was that?” Slamming my front door shut, I lock it and lean against it, placing my hand over my racing heart.
Like, no, really, what the fuck was that?
How fucking dare they approach me in a fucking alley. Are they stupid?
There is much running through my mind right now. Who are they? What do they want with me? And why did the one I threw my hot chocolate at know my name?
Maybe they overheard Emma say my name? The blond guy was outside the bakery, so the other one must have been inside because I didn’t see him in their truck.
Oh, and let’s not forget the biggest kicker of them all: they’re my scent matches.
“No,” a sob slips free as I stumble my way into the house. “Anything but this.”
I’m trembling, and I don’t know what to do.
This can’t be happening. I refuse to believe it.
My phone rings. My panicked eyes flick to my purse, where my phone is.
With shaking hands, I reach in and pull it out.
Emmett’s name flashes on the screen, and my heart shatters.
Emmett. Fuck.
Knowing I can’t ignore his call or he’ll worry, I press answer.
“Hello?” I do my best to steady my voice, but it’s hard.
“Hey, Peaches.” His playful, happy voice makes my heart clench. “How's my girl? Feeling any better?”
“Much,” I lie.
“Good, I’ve been worried. I miss you like crazy. But only one more sleep apart and I’ll be back tomorrow night.”
“I thought you were going to be coming back in a few days?”
“Turns out they don’t need me anymore. So I’m finishing up the project I’m on and will be back early. Why does it sound like you're disappointed?”
“I’m not,” I rush out, heart beating so fast it’s nearly painful. “I’m happy. So happy. Sorry, I’m just a little off. Went to the bakery and dropped my donuts.”
He lets out a mock gasp. “Not the donuts!”
That has me laughing. “Yeah. And they were the last ones. That's okay, I’ll get more tomorrow.”
We talk for a few more minutes, then end the call. Emmett is working for the rest of the night and getting an early morning start to finish everything before heading home in the evening.
It’s not that I don’t want him to come back, I do. I miss him like crazy.
But how the hell do I tell him that not only am I pregnant, but I found my scent matches? I was just getting used to the idea of being a mom and forcing myself to get over my anxiety about it. Now this?
Not to mention, I’m freaking the fuck out. The baby I want. I love Emmett, I want a life with him, a family. This I can accept.
Alphas were never in the cards for me. I never wanted them, and just being around them makes my skin crawl.
So why the fuck is the universe throwing these two at me? Not to mention they fucking attacked me in the alley.
Okay, so I’m the one who technically attacked them, but what did they expect?
“What do I do, what do I do, what do I fucking do?!” Groaning into my hands, I try to calm down the panic growing inside me.
Tears start to well before spilling freely.
This is all too much. I feel like my life is spiralling out of control.
This is not what I wanted, not what I had planned. Why couldn’t it stay just Emmett and me? He’s all that I wanted.
“It still can be.” I get to my feet and start pacing.
“Scent matches don’t mean shit to me. Like fuck I’m going to let some random interaction define the rest of my life.
I don’t know them, and I sure as fuck don’t want them.
They can get in their truck and go back to wherever they came from.
” I nod to myself. “They can just leave, and we can forget that any of this happened. Emmett doesn’t have to know, right? ”
My gut turns at the thought of lying to him. Slapping a hand over my mouth, I rush to the bathroom. After I’m done puking, I clean myself up and do what I do best. Shove my pain and emotions down and act like nothing is happening.
I spend the day scrubbing the house from top to bottom before my shift at the club.
Throwing on a pair of low-slung jeans and a red crop top that says ‘Cowboys do it better,’ I pair them with my black boots. My hair is down and curled, and I have a full face of makeup on.
“Damn, I look good.” I smile, then take a photo to send to Emmett. He responds right away to tell me I look gorgeous and to have a good shift.
I’m almost out of the door when I pause. Chewing on my lower lip, I debate on grabbing my gun.
Just because I know how to use one doesn’t mean I like to.
When we came to Widows Peak, we all learned how to protect ourselves. Self-defense and how to handle a gun. My shot is pretty damn good, too. Still, I prefer my switchblade.
I have a fear that if someone can overpower me, they could grab the gun and use it against me.
“Fuck it.” I run up to my room and grab my handgun from the safe. I’ll keep it in the glove compartment of my car for now. Just in case.
“You okay?” Briar asks me later on that night.
“Huh?” I blink, turning my attention to her.
“You’ve been standing there with the tray of empty plates for a good minute, staring off into nothing.”
“Oh.” I look at the plates and shake my head. “Yeah, sorry. Just a lot on my mind.”
“I know that feeling. Anything you want to talk about?”
I chew on my lip, considering her offer.
Apart from my sister, Briar is the one I’m the closest to out of the six of us who escaped Gideon. We spend a lot of time at the club together practicing; her singing, me with my stage performances. Briar is sweet and loyal, but a badass when she needs to be.
She doesn’t know a lot about my personal history; I haven’t told anyone but my sister and Emmett. But we’re all aware we come from some pretty fucked up pasts.
I know if I talk to Briar, she won’t say anything to anyone.
Silva should be the one I go to about this, but she already has stuff going on in her life. I’d rather have a good grasp on all these changes before going to her with them so she doesn’t feel like she has to help solve them. I’m a big girl, I can do it on my own. I hope.
Fuck. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this scared about something happening in my life.
I know it could be worse, that the world isn’t ending. I’m safe, I’m loved, I’m wanted.
That still doesn't erase the fact that everything I never wanted in my life is happening.
It’s too much, too soon, too fast. I’m seconds away from a downward spiral.
Maybe opening up to someone who isn’t immediately affected by this stuff could help. I could also start talking to my therapist again, but I need someone to talk to right now, before I lose my mind.
“Actually, yeah. If you’re free?”
“Of course.”
“Let me take this to the kitchen.” The whole way there and back to Briar, my heart is racing, nerves wreaking havoc on my stomach. Or maybe that's the pregnancy?
“Wanna chat here, or outside?”
“It’s a nice day out, may as well enjoy it before the snow comes.”
“Good point.” She grins.
We head outside and walk over to the picnic table under the aspen tree.
“First, promise me you won’t say anything to anyone. I have a lot to work through first before I want any of this to get out. But I feel like I need someone to open up to before I lose my mind.”
“Of course.” She takes my hands in hers. “I’m here for you, Lex.”
Taking a deep breath, I nod. “First, I’m pregnant."
Her eyes widen. “Congratulations... I think?” She raises a brow.
I huff out a laugh. “Yes, now. At first, I was losing my mind because I never wanted kids, and Emmett and I never discussed having a family.”
“Does he know?”
“Not yet,” I sigh. “I’m going to tell him, but I need time to process everything, you know?”
“Of course, it’s big news. After everything we’ve been through, it’s okay to be afraid of change. You built a life here, and now it’s changing. That can be scary.”
My eyes water, and I demand myself not to cry.
“Thank you for understanding. That’s exactly why I haven’t said anything to him yet.
I’ve just now come to terms with it, and was pretty excited about it.
Still terrified of telling Emmett because a part of me feels like I’ll be trapping him.
With the age gap and everything, I feel like I might hold him back. ”
“Has he ever told you that he felt that way?”
“No.” I shake my head. “He tells me I’m his whole world and that I’m all he needs.”
She smiles. “Knowing Emmett, I believe it. Add a little baby that's half you and half him, and he’s set for life.”
“I know.” I laugh as I start to cry, then groan. “But then they had to go and fuck everything up, and now my life is twisted upside down. I feel like I’m drowning. I haven't even given myself the chance to process any of this because I’m afraid to even acknowledge it.”
“Who fucked up what?” Her brows furrow.
“Stupid Alphas,” I growl. “They ruin everything.”
“Hey.” She laughs. “I quite like mine.”
“Yours don’t count, he’s a saint. But these assholes tried to harass me!”
“What!” Her eyes widen. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I threw hot chocolate in one of their faces and kneed the other one in the dick before I took off running.”
“Did you call the cops? What did Syrus say?”
“Uhh, no.” I chew on my lip.
“What the fuck. Why not?”
“Because I’m trying to come to terms with the fact these fuckers are my scent matches,” I hiss, leaning in with manic eyes.
“What the fuck do I do, Briar? Emmett is coming home tomorrow night, and not only do I have to tell him that I’m pregnant, but also, while he was gone, I went and got a whole new pack. ”
“Well, I wouldn’t word it like that. Have you talked to these guys again?”
“No.”
“Do you know who they are, what their names are?”
“Umm, no,” I say sheepishly. “Didn’t get the chance with the whole fighting then running off thing.”
“Lexi.” She looks like she’s trying really hard not to laugh.
“What?” I throw my hands up in the air. “Do you blame me? They just followed me. Do you think I’m gonna spin around, smile, and chat them up?”
“Okay, so their approach could have been better. But if they are your scent matches, don’t you think you owe it to them to talk this out?”
“No,” I grumble. “I don’t want any stupid Alphas. I’m happy with Emmett.” Even though I say that, part of me, deep down, seems to be craving those bastards. See? They’ve gone and fucked up my whole life.
But maybe she has a point.
No. No Alphas. None.
“What about them? You never know, they could be the sweetest guys. They just found their Omega, and they’re probably losing their minds.”
“I hate scent matches,” I groan, putting my head down on the table. “I should have taken fucking scent blockers, but I didn't think I needed them. Most of the Alphas here are already packed up, and I’ve met them all. None of them are my scent matches.”
“But these two are.”
“Yes.” I glare at her. She looks very amused. Glad my pain is fun for her.
“Want my advice? If they are with the group of Alphas who are new to town, Syrus already dealt with them, and if they’re still in town, that means they’re not a threat.”
“That he knows of. But, yes, tell me what to do. Please!”
“I’m not going to tell you what to do,” she laughs. “But I can give you a suggestion. Talk to them, hear them out, and give them a chance. Scent matches are a big deal. It’s not something you can just walk away from. Cutting ties would be even more of a life change, and not a pleasant one.”
“But I’m pregnant. And I have Emmett to think about, too. This is his life also.”
“You’re right. Why don’t you talk to Emmett about it first? Then decide where to go from there.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “You’re right.”
We talk a little while longer, and I feel a lot better about the whole situation now that I have a game plan.
First, talk to Emmett, see how he feels. Go from there. I can do that.
When I get home from work, I’m exhausted. I pass out pretty much the moment I hit the bed, not waking until the next morning.
I head down to the kitchen to grab a donut from the box, only to remember those motherfuckers made me drop my donuts.
“Damn it,” I yell with frustrated tears. I was really looking forward to those.
I’m supposed to go in and grab new ones later today, but I don’t want to risk running into those two.
I call the bakery to see if they can deliver.
“Sorry, Lexi. It’s just me and the baker in today, so we’re not doing any deliveries. But I will have them ready for you if you can get someone to come grab them.”
“Okay, thanks.” I hang up, wanting to cry.
I’m a big girl. I can go to the bakery and get my damn donuts. No stupid Alphas are going to stop me from getting my pregnancy craving. They are no joke. I will cut a bitch.
“Fuck it,” I huff and storm upstairs. This is my town. My fucking town. I have every right to go where I want to go.
Quickly changing out of my PJs, I put on a pair of sweatpants and one of Emmett’s hoodies, disappointed when I realize it no longer smells like him. Ugh. I really need him back home. I need a hug, a cuddle, and someone to tell me everything is going to be okay.
Now I’m depressed, so I just throw my hair in a messy bun and frown at myself in the mirror. No makeup, an indent from my pillow on my cheek, and puffy eyes from crying so much the past few days is what I see.
Who cares what I look like? I’m pregnant, cranky, and I have no one to impress.
Heading back downstairs, I grab my phone and purse before heading to my car.
The whole car ride there, my stomach is in knots. By the time I get to the bakery, I’m not even sure if I want anything to eat.
Still, I should go in and grab them so I have something to eat later when I do want them.
I look around but don’t see their black truck. My eyes flick over to the glove compartment, and I open it, seeing my gun there. I didn’t bring it into the house last night. Oops.
“Just in case,” I murmur, grabbing the gun and shoving it into the pocket of my hoodie. “I’m getting my damn donuts one way or another,” I grumble under my breath as I get out of my car. “Alphas be damned.”