Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
ANDIE
O ur Uber driver drops us off at the hospital’s main entrance. Eugene no longer has a functioning hospital, so emergency patients are usually transported to the PeaceHealth facility or McKenzie-Willamette Medical Center in Springfield. It’s only about five miles away, but the eleven minutes it takes to cross the river and get to the facility feels like it takes forever.
We’re greeted by two sets of automatic sliding glass doors that swoosh open as we approach and close behind us. Immediately, my nose is assaulted by the warring scents of antiseptic and bleach and I fight the reflex to flinch. I easily locate the sign directing us to the nearest waiting room where we make ourselves as comfortable as possible in the orange padded chairs set up in a U-shaped configuration. A television, featuring a panel of talking heads is positioned high on the wall in one corner of the waiting room. Luckily for us, the volume has been set so low that we can’t hear anything.
Liam and I take a seat along the row of chairs furthest from the television. Resting our heads against the wall, I glance down and realize Liam is still holding my hand. I know he’s worried about Nell. Even though she has Larson and Max to watch over her, Liam and Alex are always so protective of her.
It must be nice to have so many protectors, but I get it. Nell went through some really dark times when her first husband passed away. She was only twenty-one when she married Alex’s older brother, Robert. A year after they married, Robert found out he had terminal cancer. A year later, he passed away. Nell was only 23 years old.
As one might expect, Robert’s death put Nell in a downward spiral of grief for a long time. But four years later she met Larson. Everyone tried to keep the two from falling for each other, but it was inevitable. Larson fell head-over-heels for Nell, and the two of them are so happy together–despite Larson having three protectors constantly looking over his shoulder and making sure he’s taking good care of his wife. Truth is, he dotes on her, which is kind of cute. But since they found out they’re having twins, Larson’s been a total fretter. Mr. Suave ladies’ man, is a fussing father-to-be, and from where I stand, it’s absolutely adorable.
Liam squeezes my hand. “You okay? You seem deep in thought. You didn’t have to come with me, you know. I know you’re in the middle of the whole Landmark thing. I should have had the Uber drop you back at the office, instead of making you bring me here. Especially when you have so much on your plate right now. Can I get you anything?”
I chuckle at Liam’s nervous rambling. “Hey, where else would a fake girlfriend rather be?”
Liam closes his eyes and smiles, almost. “Right.”
“Hey,” I rest my hand on his arm. “Forget about the ruse, Liam. I want to be here with you because if you’re hurting, then I’m hurting. If you’re worried, I’m worried too. That’s how it works. Get it? There’s nothing fake about it.”
Liam chuckles and nods. “I don’t deserve you. ”
I give Liam a serious look. “You’re right, you don’t. But lucky for you, I’m into charity cases.”
Liam’s scrutinizing gaze studies me for a long moment, his eyebrows pulled together in a curious frown.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, suddenly wondering if I have a big zit on my face somewhere or something green stuck in my teeth. I know the answer to both questions is no, but Liam’s watching me so intently. I’m used to Liam’s many moods, the majority of which usually range from comical to endearing. Rarely, do I see this intense, serious side of him. The last time I saw him this intense was when I broke up with Derek.
“Liam?” I tug on his hand. He swallows, and his troubled eyes continue to pierce mine with a fierceness I don’t recognize. “What’s going on? Tell me. Please.”
“Why did we break up?” He blurts the question and then shakes his head. “I mean, I was thinking back through the years, and I can’t remember us actually breaking up. How did it happen? And…why?”
His unexpected question catches me off guard. My memories of our relationship are vivid and clear, but Liam doesn’t know what it was that finally drove us apart. “Why are you asking now?”
“Why can’t I remember us ending things?”
I shake my head. “Because we didn’t. Not in so many words. But Liam, that was so long ago, why dig up old bones?”
“I’m not sure why, but I need to know, to understand what happened.” He releases a low chuckle. “I guess I’m only now realizing there was never any closure. At least, not for me. I never stopped caring about you or loving you, so why did it end?”
“We grew apart, Liam. It happens to the best of couples.” I don’t tell him that I never stopped caring about him either, never stopped loving him.
“I’m not buying that,” he says.
I raise my eyebrows in response. “No?”
“No.”
I shrug. “It’s the truth, you know.”
Liam shakes his head. “Nah, what really happened?”
I release a deep breath and press the back of my head more firmly against the wall. It’s quiet as far as waiting rooms go. Just the occasional nurse, intern, or orderly passing by, none of whom give Liam or me a second glance. Every once in a while the glass doors swoosh open and the evening air ushers someone new into the building.
“Andie?”
I roll the back of my head against the wall until I’m facing Liam. “You know I love you, right?”
Liam’s lips curve up into an almost smile. “As a friend, yes. But there was a time when it was more than that.”
“Yes,” I nod. “There was.” I didn’t realize we were going there, but here we are.
“What made you stop loving me?” he asks, then quickly adds, “As more than a friend, I mean.”
“We were so young, Liam. What did we even know about love?” I ask.
Liam’s eyes study mine for several moments before he responds. “I know that every time you walked into a room, my heart did this flip-thing, and my ears and neck burned. I know that try as I might, I could never stop the smile that would inevitably spread across my face whenever I saw you. I know we could spend hours talking–late into the night sometimes–and never run out of things to say. I know when you moved away to attend a different college than me, and then told me we should date other people while we were apart, it completely wrecked me. But then every time you came home to visit, it felt so easy to slip right back into our relationship, as if nothing had changed and no time had passed at all.”
I roll my head and shift my gaze up to the ceiling. “Telling you to date other girls was the right thing to do.” I close my eyes and exhale a long, deep breath. “You love women, Liam. I’ve always known that about you. It doesn’t matter if they’re young, old, smart, flighty, thin, heavy, beautiful, or plain. You simply love women, and you have a way of making them see themselves through your eyes. Making each woman you meet feel special. It’s a part of your charm that I simultaneously adore and resent.”
“But I never–”
“No,” I hold my hand up to shush him. “It’s not your fault, and it’s nothing which you need to defend or apologize for. It’s just who you are. By telling you we should date other people, I was giving you the freedom to be yourself. At the same time, I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt.”
“I never would have hurt you, Andie,” Liam says in a low, almost whisper.
“Not intentionally, no. But eventually, word would have made its way to Salem about some new girl you were hanging out with or hooking up with. And I couldn’t bear the thought of it. I thought I could outrun the inevitable, but it turns out I never could.”
Liam’s hand squeezes mine. “What do you mean?”
I roll my head to face Liam again. “Word always reached me in Salem, be it mutual friends with good intentions or others with nefarious ones, word would reach me. Sometimes through texts, other times through social media posts, and occasionally, when I would run into someone from Eugene. The conversations always seemed to lead back to you and your latest conquests.”
Liam’s eyes widen. “Conquests?”
“You know what I mean.”
Liam’s eyes appear pained. “Is that what you thought I was doing all that time? Adding notches to my belt?”
I reach across with my free hand and cup Liam’s cheek. “No. Despite what others would say, I never thought of you as a tool or a player. I usually did my best to defend your male honor.”
Liam rolls his eyes. “Thank you, I think?”
I drop my hand and shrug. “Yeah, well, it never stopped the reports from finding their way to me. After a while, I accepted that what we once shared was over. But make no mistake, Liam. I missed you. I missed us.”
“Why did you stop coming home? For a while, we were making the best of our long-distance relationship. Sure, we were both free to date other people, but we still managed to see each other every couple of months and on semester breaks. And then it just stopped. Like cold turkey. You even ghosted me for a while, and then when you did respond to my calls or texts, you were polite but distant. Not like the you I knew.”
I inhale deeply and blow out my breath. “Does it matter? It’s all water under the bridge, now, isn’t it? Our friendship survived our crazy twenties, and now, in our thirties, we’re closer than we’ve been in years. Why not leave the past buried where it belongs?”
Liam is quiet for too long. His thumb drawing a lazy figure eight along my wrist.
“What?” I ask, sensing I’ve upset him.
He turns to look at me and the hurt in his eyes completely unhinges me. “I guess I didn’t realize there were any secrets between us. I thought we could always tell each other anything.”
“We can,” I insist. “We do.”
“No. Not about this. You’re keeping something from me and it’s kind of pissing me off.”
“Fine,” I huff out a breath. “You want me to tell you, then I will. I planned to surprise you by coming home for your graduation from U of O. I was so happy for you. And I missed you so much. I had this entire surprise planned.”
“Then what? You changed your mind at the last moment?” he says with an almost bitter frown .
“No, Liam. I was there.”
“Where?” his frown deepens.
“At your graduation.”
His eyes dart from side to side as if he’s trying to snag a lost memory. “You were?”
I nod.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Come see me? Something. Anything.”
“I did, Liam.” He starts to argue with me but I cut him off. “I made the trip down the bleachers and onto the floor where the graduates greeted their friends and families. I saw your parents hug you. Your sister. And all three of your brothers slapped you on the back and gave you bro hugs. I saw it all.”
Liam starts to interrupt me again, but I quickly continue before he can squeeze out a word. “I saw what happened after your family said goodbye and you made your way to your friends.”
Liam’s eyes search the floor. I can see the wheels turning in his mind as he tries to pull up the memory of that night. And I see the moment the memory reaches the surface.
“Oh,” he says softly.
“Yeah. Oh.” I repeat. “I was so close, Liam. So excited to surprise you and tell you about my plan to move home. I had been accepted by the University of Oregon for the Master’s program in marketing. I held the letter in my hand as I approached you from the stands.”
“It wasn’t what it looked like, Andie.”
I release a humorless laugh. “Really? Because what it looked like was you making out with a set of identical twins. Not friendly, congratulatory kissing–the complicated kind. You had an arm around each girl and were full-on making out with both of them. First one, then the other, then back to the first one, and back and forth. And for reasons I’ll never quite understand, both girls were down for it. It didn’t appear like you would finish any time soon, so I crumpled up the letter and let it drop to the ground. And then I turned around, and ran. I cried the entire drive back to Salem. I arrived a little before two in the morning and went straight to my computer, and turned down my acceptance to the University of Oregon. It took me almost a year to get accepted into a different Master’s program, and well, you know the rest of the story.”
Liam’s eyes close and he takes a couple of deep breaths. “I’d like to explain what you saw, Andie. But what I don’t understand is why you never said anything.”
“I was hurt, Liam. I couldn’t be angry at you, I had no right to be. I’m the one who insisted you date other girls. I had wanted you to sow your wild oats while I wasn’t around to witness it and according to my timetable, which I realize was selfish and unfair of me. I had hoped once we graduated, you might be ready to settle down, but when I saw you making out with those two girls, I knew you definitely weren’t ready. I had to accept the possibility that what people told me about you being a reckless ladies’ man was true. It utterly destroyed me because I was ready to settle down and be an adult. I never blamed you for any of it. I promise. Even during the months and years that followed, I was upset more at myself than I was at you, because I’d held onto this unrealistic hope that at some point you’d come for me.”
Liam releases my hand and I flex my now-numb fingers. I don’t know how long we’ve been sitting here, but it’s been long enough for the blood to have drained from my hand. He reaches his arm around me and pulls me to his side.
Turning to kiss the top of my head, he says, “I’d still like to explain what you saw. Will you allow me that?”
I nod my response but remain silent. I’m not sure I want to hear what Liam is about to tell me, but I suppose I’ve already ripped the bandage from the old wound. Might as well let it bleed before applying a new one .
“I did ask one of the twins out. We met at a friend’s apartment near the end of my senior year. I took her out a few times, and yeah, each date ended with a kiss, but nothing beyond that. Then, one of their roommates let it slip that they had been pulling the switch on me to see if I would notice the difference. It became this huge deal, because honestly, when they were both in the room together, I couldn’t tell them apart. It was a test I failed miserably. I mean, it’s not like we were exclusive or serious or anything. We’d only gone on a few dates.”
Liam’s fingers begin trailing a caress up and down my arm. “Anyhow, I joked with them that if I could kiss them both, I’d be able to tell them apart. It was juvenile. I knew it was, but they’d already called me out on not being able to tell them apart, and I figured I’d ham it up a little and make a game of it. So we put a wager on it. The twins bet me $100 that I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart just by kissing them. They planned to show up to my graduation wearing matching outfits and styling their hair the same way. Then they’d each let me kiss them.”
I don’t say a word, but trust me, it’s not easy to keep my mouth shut right now.
Liam blows out another breath. “As it turned out, I couldn’t tell them apart, even by kissing them. I made a huge show of kissing them several times–I figured, I’m out $200 anyway, might as well have a little fun with it.”
Liam looks down at me, his eyes laced with embarrassment and regret. “It was childish and ridiculous. And it meant nothing. Not to me, and not to them. They even teased me about needing to move on so they could find their next victim.”
When I don’t say anything, Liam squeezes my arm. “Please tell me what you’re thinking, Andie. I get that what you saw looked bad. It was stupid, I know. But it was over a decade ago. I hope you don’t think I’m still that guy.”
“I don’t, Liam. I know who you are, and I know what you are. I’m sorry I didn’t stick around long enough for you to explain what was going on. It might have changed so many things.”
“Like?”
I raise my shoulder in a shrug. “I wouldn’t have gone back to Salem. And I…” I clear my throat, “I wouldn’t have…”
“You wouldn’t have wasted five years of your life being with douchebag Derek.”
“It wasn’t always bad, you know. Not in the beginning. Meeting him helped me finally move on. There were never any fireworks or stars with Derek, but we were companionable and comfortable together.”
“Andie, no offense, but if I was trying to build an idiot, I’d use Derek’s brain as the blueprint. He had you,” Liam gently squeezes my arm again, “and he was dumb enough to think there were greener pastures in someone else’s field. I’m just sorry he stole so many years of your life from you.”
“Five years is a long time, for sure, but I grew a lot during that time. I’d like to think I learned some important lessons from my relationship with him.”
“Really?” Liam scoffs. “Like what?”
I reach over and pat Liam’s arm with my hand. “I’ve learned not to–”
Liam’s phone alerts him to a new text message. He moves his arm from around my back and reaches into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He side-eyes me and shares the screen with me.
Larson: Contractions have finally stopped. Nell and babies fine. Nell’s tired from the contractions and relieved she can finally rest.
Max: Will she be able to come home tomorrow?
Larson: Not sure. The doctor suspects she may need to go on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy.
Max: Bet she loved hearing that.
Larson: Yeah, no.
Me: Hey man, thanks for the update. Glad Nell and the babies are okay.
Larson: Not out of the woods yet, though.
Max: You gonna be able to rest tonight?
Larson: It’s not me who needs the rest. Nell’s been battling contractions for hours.
Max: Couldn’t they give her anything for the pain?
Larson: She wouldn’t let them. She was afraid it might hurt the babies.
Me: She’s Wonder Woman.
Larson: She really is.
Max: Toughest woman I know.
Maizee: Excuse me?
Max: I was just about to add, except for my beautiful wife.
Maizee: Of course you were.
Max: I was.
Larson: My cousin and my wife. Toughest women on the planet.
Me: Alex might argue with that. After all, his wife did ram a knife through a man’s foot.
Maizee: Bree’s tough as nails. Always has been.
Max: Chime in any time, Alex.
Me: Alex? You there?
Larson sends a meme of crickets chirping in the silence.
Maizee: You did include Alex and Bree in the chat group, right honey?
Max: Of course. What do you take me for?
Maizee: Just checking. You’ve been preoccupied lately.
Maizee: Yo, Bree. What’s up?
Me: It’s late o’clock. My guess is they’re asleep.
Max: Right. “Asleep.” Let’s go with that.
Maizee: Leave the poor newlyweds alone, honey.
Larson: I’m going to slip out and grab something to eat from one of the vending machines. The nurse is bringing me a pillow so I can sleep in the chair next to Nell.
Max: Keep us posted if anything changes, okay?
Larson: Will do.
Me: What room are you guys in?
Larson: 314. Liam, you might as well come up and say hello before you go home.
Me: How’d you know I was here?
Max: You’re there?
Maizee: I thought we weren’t supposed to go to the hospital.
Max: That’s what Larson told us.
Larson: Guys, it’s Liam we’re talking about.
Me: How’d you know?
Larson: Heard one of the nurses talking about some blond dude who’s been sitting in the waiting room for the past two hours.
Me: A hot and sexy blond dude, right?
Larson: More like an annoying twit.
Me: Then how’d you know it was me?
Larson: You coming up or not?
Me: Andie’s here with me.
Larson: Bring her with you. But don’t stay long, okay? Nell needs to rest.
Me: Aye, aye, captain.
Larson: Oh, and Liam?
Me: Yeah?
Larson: Absolutely no flirting with my wife.
Me. Got it. Zero flirting.
With that, Liam ends the chat and stretches his long legs in front of him, preparing to stand. I think it’s hilarious that Larson tells Liam not to flirt with Nell. As if Larson could stop Liam! Liam flirts with everyone. He always has. Though never in a demeaning or creepy way. Always fun and harmless. Usually just enough to make a girl blush or turn a demure shade of pink. Some may think him childish, and I suppose there’s a bit of an overgrown child trapped in Liam’s very adult body, but to me, his antics are sweet. The exception, of course, was the night of his graduation, when I feared the rumors of him being a womanizing player might be true.
That being said, Liam does have a tendency to push the envelope when it comes to Nell. I know he does it just to yank Larson’s overprotective chain, but Liam would never say or do anything to disrespect Nell and Larson’s relationship. He cares about the two of them like they’re family.
He reaches his hand out to me and helps me out of my chair. My legs and butt are numb from sitting for so long. It feels good to finally be moving.
We make our way up the elevator to the second floor where one of the nurses on duty directs us to Nell’s room. Liam knocks on the door jam and Nell greets us with a wide smile.
“Hey guys,” she says, trying too hard to sound upbeat, but it doesn’t take a medical professional to hear the sheer exhaustion in her voice. Or the worry.
“Hey beautiful,” Liam says, as he bends down to kiss her cheek. “How you feeling?”
“Meh,” she answers honestly. “I’ve had better nights.” She looks around Liam to me. “Hey Andie, how’d Liam manage to rope you into spending an evening in the waiting room?”
“We were having dinner when Liam received Larson’s text. I know Larson said not to come, but I also know Liam. He was going to show up regardless, so I thought I’d tag along and keep him company.”
“You guys, you really didn’t have to do that,” Nell whines. “It’s so sweet of you, though. Thank you.”
“How’s Larson holding up?” Liam teases .
Nell rolls her eyes and a small grin spreads across her tired face. “He’s trying to be strong for my sake, but he’s a nervous wreck. The poor guy is so worried about me and our girls. It’s like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.”
“If anyone can manage the weight, it’s Larson,” Liam says. “Put all those muscles to good use.”
Nell’s eyes widen. “Wow, did you just give my husband a compliment?”
Liam looks around and puts a finger to his lips. “Shh. If you tell him what I said, I’ll deny it.”
“Deny what?” Larson’s voice calls from the entrance.
“Nothing,” Liam says, as Nell says, “Liam just complimented you.”
Liam gives Nell a spearing glare. “Do you know how long it will take me to live this down?”
Larson walks up behind Liam and claps his hands on Liam’s shoulders. “Thanks, man.”
Liam shrugs free from Larson’s grip. “Yeah, well, don’t let it go to your already ridiculously massive ego.”
Larson laughs. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Larson’s gaze meets mine, and I lean in for a side hug. “How’s it going, Andie?”
I nod my head from side to side. “Oh, you know how it is. I’ve been babysitting Liam tonight.”
Larson’s grin grows. “Thanks for keeping him company. I knew the minute he found out Nell was in the hospital, wild horses wouldn’t keep him from showing up to check on her.”
I nod. “Nell’s fortunate to have so many protectors.”
Larson swallows and bobs a nod in return. He looks at Nell and bends down to give her a quick kiss. “Still doing okay? No more pains?”
A single tear slides down Nell’s face and Larson brushes it away with his thumb. “Hey, there,” he says in a low voice. “Everything’s going to be okay. The nurses and the doctor are optimistic. ”
Nell nods and rests her cheek against Larson’s touch. The scene is so intimate and tender that I feel like an intruder.
“What if the contractions start again?” Nell asks, and another tear escapes.
“Baby, it’s going to be okay,” Larson reassures her. “My beautiful girls are strong. All three of you are badass warriors, so no matter what happens, I know everything will be okay.”
Nell nods and reaches up to cup Larson’s hand. “Don’t leave me tonight.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he quickly replies, sitting on the edge of her bed and brushing her hair away from her face. “I’ll be right beside you all night.”
Liam catches my eye and motions to the door. “We should go,” he mouths. I nod in agreement and take hold of his outstretched hand. He reaches over and gives Larson’s shoulder a squeeze. “We’re gonna take off. Text or call me if you need anything–doesn’t matter what time, okay?”
Larson nods. “Thanks, man.”
“Liam, Andie, thank you for being here. It means a lot to us,” Nell says. She manages a small smile and waves to us with her free hand.
“We’ll always be here for you. I hope you know that,” Liam says, his voice hoarse. It doesn’t escape my notice that he included me in his declaration, though I’m not sure if it’s for the benefit of our fake relationship or if he truly meant it.
Liam pauses at the door as if there’s something more he wants to say, but he decides against it once Nell’s attention turns back to Larson.
“Did you find something to eat?” I hear Nell ask Larson as Liam and I exit their room and begin making our way down the hall.
I cast a sideways glance at Liam as we wait for the elevator. “You okay?” I ask, resting my hand on his arm. Liam nods, but as soon as we step into the elevator, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug.
“I’m glad Larson plans to stay with her tonight. She’s obviously worried,” Liam says, his cheek pressed against the top of my head.
“He’s a good man,” I say, giving Liam’s back a gentle pat.
“The best.”
I pull back far enough to look into Liam’s eyes. “Did you just give Larson another compliment?”
Liam shrugs. “It must be getting late, so my brain’s malfunctioning.”
“Mmhmm,” I grin.
“As I said earlier, if it gets back to Larson, I’ll deny it,” Liam says, his voice serious, but the grin playing on his lips reveals the truth behind his words.
“Ah, honey buns, you’re secret’s safe with me.”
Liam chuckles. “Honey buns?”
I lift my shoulder in a shrug. “Fake girlfriends always give their men cute nicknames.”
“And since my buns are so honey delicious–”
I smack Liam’s chest. “Don’t even think about finishing that thought.”
Liam tosses his head back and laughs. Then he tugs gently on one of my curls and says, “Thanks for staying with me tonight.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Liam.”
I smile to myself because I know I really mean it.