Chapter 6 #2
He stared at me while I stared back. Finally, he frowned and nodded once, decisively.
“Those are good questions. I’m not a bad guy.
I know that because I choose every day to not be a bad guy.
I’m not a good guy, but I’m as good as it’s possible for me to be.
You make me want to be better, and that’s one of the things I like about you.
People choose what they do. That’s what’s real, not their feelings, not their violent thoughts or tendencies, but what they do.
That’s important to me, because I have worked my whole life to be more than my genetic makeup.
More than my feelings of rage. I am a man of reason, and I choose to control myself. ”
“And everyone around you.”
His eyes narrowed. “I don’t.”
“You can change my feelings with the slightest touch. You can change my mind with a simple speech. You don’t follow anyone, ever.
I don’t think you’re capable of it. You lead.
Others follow. But the thing is, death can’t be influenced, even by you.
I can’t follow you into a healthy happily ever after.
If you can’t be with me where I am, if you can’t accept what I have to offer on a limited timetable, then what are we even doing?
I don’t want chaos and stress during my last months.
I want pleasure. I want comfort. I want you.
” I traced the outline of his ear then tugged on his lobe.
“Give me the present. Forget about the future. I don’t have that to give you or anyone else. ”
His brows furrowed as he studied me, a flicker in his eyes the only sign of his emotional turmoil.
“Kitten, I can pretend to not care about the future, but it will be a lie. Do you want me to lie to you? It isn’t any bother, but you might dislike that feeling of betrayal later should you realize what is truth and what isn’t.
” He touched my hair, then caressed my ear, sending a flurry of sensations down my spine from that one touch.
I chewed on my bottom lip while I considered and tried not to get distracted by how good he felt.
I understood the benefit of a solid lie, but I didn’t like not knowing what was going on with him.
I hated it. I hated that he was hurt, stabbed, looking for answers to my disease.
“You’d really tell me the truth if I asked you to? ”
He hesitated then nodded. “If you’d do the same. The trouble with the truth is that I’m incredibly gifted at manipulating others, so even if I told you what I was doing, that wouldn’t stop it from working.”
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He returned the pressure, but gently, because he knew on a base level exactly what I needed.
“Be honest with me.” My heart thrummed with tension as I stared at him, aware that honesty would probably ruin everything.
“I’ll be honest with you, if you’re honest with me. ”
He raised a brow and gave me a slight smile. “You look nervous, Kitten. Do you have deep dark secrets you’re keeping? You don’t have to tell me anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
“That’s not honesty. So if we’re doing this, we do, in fact, need to tell each other things that make us uncomfortable.
I’ll start.” I swallowed hard and then squeezed my eyes closed tightly.
“I don’t want to die,” I whispered. Seriously?
That’s what I started with? Of course I didn’t want to die. That was just logic.
He swept me into his arms, holding me so close, so tight, just short of being painful.
His heart beat rapidly beneath my cheek while he nuzzled my hair with his chin.
“I also don’t want you to die,” he murmured.
“I can’t just stand idly by and do nothing.
That’s not my nature or my will. I have to try to do as much as I can. ”
I clung to his bare arms, needing him more than anything. “I’m afraid that will hurt you. Aunt Willie spent so much money on my treatment, like my dad before he died. My death stole their lives. I can’t bear doing that to you. You have to promise me that you won’t let my death hurt you.”
He snorted and kissed my head. “So you do want me to lie.”
I sniffled. I was having a hard time keeping these emotions together, whether they were real or not. “But how can I be with you if I know it’s going to hurt you?”
“Life is pain. I don’t mind pain, Kitten. Neither do you. You’ll suffer silently.”
“If we’re being honest, I really hate pain,” I whispered.
“And I’m afraid that you’ll find a new treatment for me to try that will prolong my life and fill it with pain.
I’m not any fun while I’m doing treatments, partly from the medication, but mostly because it takes all my energy just to endure. ”
He pulled back to look at me, frowning as he studied my face.
Gently, he touched my cheek, brushing his thumb down to the corner of my mouth as he frowned thoughtfully.
“If I find something, that’ll give me peace, knowing I did what I could.
If you don’t want to try it, that’s okay.
You can say no. But I can’t not try to save my precious wife. ”
I wrinkled my nose at him. “It’s just a marriage of convenience in the least convenient way possible. First the kitchen, and now this?” I poked his shoulder.
That time, he winced and then groaned flopping over on the couch and pulling me with him so I was lying over his extremely well-muscled body.
He shifted me until I was comfortably fitted into every curve and hollow.
“Kitten, if you’re serious about crashing your aunt’s dinner date with Flowers, we have to leave now.
” He held me tight, feeling so good, so perfect.
Villains couldn’t feel this good, or be so invested in saving, could they?
I sighed heavily, tracing the line down his chest to the button on his pants. “And if we stayed here?”
“I would work very hard to give you as much pleasure as you can handle.” His voice was growling, rough while his hands were so smooth.
I sat up with a gasp, staring down at those eyes that smoldered up at me. “Nix! Are you trying to seduce me?”
He gave me a sultry smile. “You did say that you married me to experience pleasure. Was that a lie?”
I blinked at him feeling aching and raw all over.
This was dangerous. So tempting. He was already addictive, and I was already having a hard time wanting to walk away, even if he turned out to be a psychopath like Michael.
He wasn’t like Michael. Maybe he was a psychopath, but he wasn’t like anyone else.
I pressed my lips in a thin line then gave him a bright smile. “No. But right now I need to find out what my Aunt’s doing with Flowers.” I slid off the couch before I could change my mind. My heart beat so fast, it felt like it was trying to fly away.
He followed me up, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back against his chest for a moment while my body pulsed with a bewildering mix of happy desperation. I wanted him. So much. Forever.
“One thing,” he murmured before lipping my ear with his soft mouth.
A shiver of delight went through me, making my knees weak.
“Your dad, Dr. Wilson, was working with someone on your disease before he died. In two days, that’s where I’m going.
To talk to him, to try and get everything he had about it. ”
I froze up before I whirled around, breaking his gentle grasp. “Who was my dad working with?”
He smiled slightly. “He’s called the King of Macau. We’ve never met, but I think I can get an audience if I play my cards right.”
I shivered and rubbed my arms. “The King of Macau? Is he a superhero or a supervillain?”
“With a name like that? Definitely supervillain.”
“But you can out supervillain him?”
He shrugged, still seemingly relaxed. “He’ll want me to fight for him, run some betting on me and whoever he matches me with. That’s the plan.”
“So it’s like a fighting job? In a ring? Like you’re so good at?”
He shrugged. “It should be.”
“It should be. So there’s a chance that he kills you instead.”
He full on grinned. “There’s always a chance of death. You know that better than anybody.” He moved closer, attention focusing on my lips. “I have no intention of dying when you need me.”
I gasped and took a half step away. “I don’t need you.”
He laughed, showing a flash of white teeth. “Search your feelings, Kitten. If I’m the only one who can touch you, and you need to be touched…” He turned and grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head in one smooth movement before he held his arm out for me. “Shall we, my wife?”
I hesitated and then put my hand on his arm while my stomach fluttered uncomfortably. “I thought the last thing you wanted was a needy wife.”
He covered my hand with his strong grasp, his touch as perfect as always. “It is the last thing that I will always want.”
Before I could ask him what that was supposed to mean, we were in the elevator, and then falling, down, down, down.