10. Liar #2
I laughed. “Because you explain things so well. I’m not offering to have your babies.
I’m not interested in that.” His expression was priceless though, the glance at me uncertain, like he didn’t trust my motives.
I patted the log next to me. “Seriously, I’m not in the market for a sperm donor.
I’m way too young for that. Actually, the idea never appealed.
Being tied down all the time? Not my party.
” Because I was dying. I couldn’t even get a dog because I’d outlive it and my aunt was too much of a workaholic to step in once I was gone.
Depressing. Where was my smiley face? I smiled at him and tried to look adorable.
He sat next to me, stretching his legs out towards the fire. “Pity. You’d make a good mom.” He slowly put his arm around me, just enough to feel his warmth, not applying any actual pressure.
I was stiff for a second at the unexpected contact, but when it didn’t hurt, I turned and snuggled into his side. It’s like he was born to be my last six months. If I lasted six months. Thanks, Dad. “You smell good. You should smell sweaty and terrible, but you don’t. Maybe you’re fictional.”
“I jumped in the pond after I was done fishing. I’m glad I did, because you’re dangerously honest. Telling a man she wants to kiss him when he’s driving? Seriously living on the edge, Kitten.”
I laughed outright, because he’d called me honest. That was just too funny. I cautiously turned my head until I was a breath from his skin then I leaned in and kissed his chin. He was freshly shaven, so he must have done that in the pond too. “I hope your shaving cream was biodegradable.”
“Me too.” He wasn’t smiling, though. He was looking at me like I was an interesting puzzle he was trying to put together. He really was so beautiful, edible, respectful even.
I smiled and kissed the corner of his lips needing to get him to react so I could know how far this could go. “Is this what you mean by feeling it and doing it?” Because I was so honest and unmotivated by ulterior motives.
“I didn’t have anything specific in mind, but yes. You are the sweetest thing,” he murmured in a low voice that made my heart beat faster. His voice was as delicious as his skin. He really did taste good.
I kissed his chin and then made my way up along his jaw enjoying myself even if he never reciprocated.
He pulled away and cupped my face in his hands while he gazed into my eyes.
“I’m going to taste you for a minute, if you don’t mind.
” He was so official about it. Did he inform all the women before he tasted them?
No. It was probably because I’d declared myself a virgin.
That sent most guys in one of two directions.
Either they were scared off, or they took it as a personal challenge to fix the problem.
Nix clearly belonged to the first category.
“I’d be delighted,” I said in my best deb voice, closed my eyes, and pursed my lips.
He slid his hands up and down my arms, brushing the skin of my neck with his thumb, taking his time and getting a feel for me.
I opened my eyes and frowned at him. “Why aren’t you kissing me?” Seriously, we didn’t have forever. I was dying over here.
He kissed my forehead. “In a hurry, Kitten?”
Yes, I was, but I couldn’t admit it. I shook my head and closed my eyes, but my eyelids were tense. He kissed my closed eyes, lips soft gentle brushes that sent shivers through me.
I opened my eyes again while I still felt that strange shivery deliciousness. “What was that?”
“Kissing,” he said with a mischievous smile.
“That’s not how you would kiss Christina.”
“I’m not kissing Christina. Thank you again, for saving me from such a fate. Relax. You should be enjoying yourself, not trying to hurry up and get it over with.”
I rolled my eyes and leaned into him, pulling his head down to kiss me for real.
I kept my eyes open until our lips were firmly together, or as firm as I could be when his lips were so soft.
He moved, just a bit and that fluttery feeling went through me again, making me want to pull away and press closer at the same time.
I’d been kissed, and it was more like being devoured than this soft sweetness.
He touched my hair while my kiss grew progressively softer to match his. I couldn’t help but respond to his lead, even if I’d initiated the thing.
When he smoothed his hand up my back, I melted against his strong body, lips parting. What was he doing to me? He was so soft, so slow, so utterly mouth-watering delicious.
He kissed me like we had all the time in the world, brushing his fingers over my hair, my skin, nowhere too sensitive, just my neck, cheek, hands, places used to human contact, but not like this, not sweet caresses like I was more than breakable, like he adored me.
He caressed me like I was the only person he’d ever touched, like he’d been waiting his whole life, and would keep waiting as long as I needed him to.
Guy was good. Maybe he was a gigolo, otherwise, how would he know exactly what I needed?
I sighed against his lips and wrapped my arms around him, settling closer against him.
There was something incredibly languid about everything, the crackling fire, the gentle breeze, the powerful man that held me with strength and tenderness that I hadn’t thought could exist in one person.
This was so slow and certain, every move, every touch precisely what I didn’t know I needed.
He didn’t rush anything, and eventually I trusted that he wouldn’t hurt me, and fully relaxed into his embrace.
He kissed me deeper, his mouth so soft, contrasting with his firm body, strength that I became aware of in a way I’d never noticed in a man before, because there was always pain.
I forgot about lies, forgot about pretending, and I just existed in that moment of perfect sweetness while my body came more and more alive in his arms. Time slipped away while he kissed me, while I kissed him, lips the bridge of breath and soul that kept life bright and death far away.
Why had it taken me so long to find the person who made me feel truly alive? I should have been kissing him for at least a decade. All this time, I’d thought that it would hurt, but it didn’t, not at all.
He kissed me like that, touched me like that, until the fire died down and the air got crisp and cold. I only noticed those things when he pulled away to study me with clear blue eyes that I wanted to gaze into forever.
I blinked and looked away. I didn’t have anything close to forever.
“I see what you mean about needing time for kissing.” And here was my answer, very clearly demonstrated.
The guy could do intimacy even with a delicate blossom like me.
Dang. My last six months were going to be so much better than I’d hoped.
Not that I allowed myself something as ridiculous as hope.
I had a sudden urge to text Beastie and tell him that I was eating fish in the woods with the best kisser in the world.
No, he’d be happy for me, and I kind of wanted him to be jealous.
“Thank you for letting me take my time. Now, we feast.” He grinned at me and then dug the fish out of the embers, using a branch to get them out.
After that, he cracked open the clay and pulled out slivers of pale flesh with his fingers.
He fed me, which wasn’t necessary, but I loved it, particularly when his thumb lingered on my bottom lip like he was remembering how I tasted. He felt so good, so right, so painless.
I returned the favor, feeding him fish and feeling the silken sweetness of his bottom lip with a sliver of his tongue that made me shiver.
I hadn’t tasted his tongue. We would be doing that.
Lots of things. But what about the six months-long dating thing?
If I died too soon, it could mess up his whole thing unless we were under contract.
Marriage. Cold. Contractual, just like he said.
“Why are you looking at me like that, Kitten? Are you still hungry?”
I nodded eagerly. “I had no idea kisses could be so sweet. If you really want to marry me…” I tried to look sweet and virginal.
He raised brows and had a slightly stunned glaze in his eyes. He really was nervous about marriage. “I mean… I’m not sure if marriage is what’s right for this situation.”
But how else would his mother be convinced to give him what he’d earned if I dropped dead in two months?
Nope. If we were doing this, I wasn’t screwing him over.
I mean, not figuratively. Hopefully there were piles of hot steamy sex in my suddenly not-quite-so-bleak future.
“Oh. You’re not very religious?” I made my eyes all big and vulnerable.
Was he going to make fun of me for my religious beliefs?
I did go to church, and I did have a relationship with my dead parents that wasn’t normal, probably not sane, either, but I’d blame the medication.
He swallowed hard, clearly struggling to not freak out. “No. I mean, I’m not seriously religious, no. I’ve been to churches, but I’m not…” He ran a hand through his hair. “You’re saying that you don’t want to be with me without marriage?”
“I’m saying that I don’t want sex without marriage. I mean, that’s why I’m a virgin, to save myself for religious purposes.”
He looked confused. I was also confused. Saving myself from STI’s, yes, also not ever getting past kissing because it hurt too much. Religion couldn’t stop me when so many other things already did, but he didn’t know that.
“You want to be a nun?” he asked.
I laughed and then went to dig another clay-baked package out of the fire.
“A nun? That’s an idea. No, I just don’t like the position so many women are put in when choosing between abortion and religion.
Abstinence is safe for me. I’m okay with being with you for six months of marriage, but I don’t think living together would be okay.
Does that make me not respect the sanctity of marriage?
” I bit my lip and then broke the clay and started picking the meat off the bones.
It would be a pity if he turned this part of the deal down, I mean, I was probably starting to sound like a gold-digger, suspicious as all get-out, but he needed a contract or my death would screw him over.
“This fish is fantastic,” I said, throwing some honesty into that whole thing to give it a different flavor.
I knew that I was an extremely talented liar, but it was good to return to the truth now and then just for variety.
He shook his head slightly. “You do know how to flatter a man. Honestly, are you all right with just the fish? Do you want me to drive into town or bother the landlords for some bread? There were always loaves with the fishes.”
Good heavens, he was sweet. Making him marry me and taking advantage of his sweetness was absolutely wrong.
I’d probably be going to hell for lying to someone who took care of the sick and the afflicted with so much zeal.
I pointed at him in delight. “Look at you, throwing religion around like you were born to it! You can get some bread tomorrow. Tonight, I don’t want anything other than what I have right here.
” Also a few more years, but we weren’t dwelling on that.
He bent over and kissed my hand. When he raised his head, his eyes were soft, sweet, and terribly sincere. “Neither do I.”
Dang. Even with the marriage requirement, he wasn’t running away, and he felt better than morphine.
He deserved so much better. I’d make sure he got it after I was dead and buried.
He’d probably give me a really nice funeral.
I should send all the details to Beastie so he could forward them to Nix once I’d kicked it.
I didn’t need to burden him with that now.