Chapter 15 April/Mason—The Incredible Hulk and north winds
April
What the fuck? This wasn’t right, April thought. I’m a smart woman, I think on my feet. So, think! I could fake feeling sick, but Shane is already pissed off that I didn’t want to come.
Pull it together, you pathetic bag of shit, she thought. I guess I’m going to have to do this myself too!
“Hey Mason, what a coincidence. Nice to see you. We haven’t spoken properly in foreverrrr,” she said silkily.
“Yeah, I guess. Anyone want a drink?” Mason looked around as he spoke.
“Our drinks are full, silly!” the bimbo next to him tittered.
She looked at Anna, glad she finally had an excuse to examine this woman close up.
She was pretty enough but must be a special kind of stupid if she thought she could land a rich man like Mason.
April looked bitterly at her breasts. Okay, another point to the dumb bitch.
She glanced up at Shane, who appeared to be equally entranced by the dullard’s breasts.
She elbowed him sharply, narrowing her eyes.
He shrugged at her. Fucking cheap asshole.
He wouldn’t pay for implants but gladly ogles another woman’s breasts right in front of her.
Not just another woman, her! Fucking Anna, with her stupid dimples, big boobs, and cheap shoes.
She wasn’t classy at all. She was drinking beer and wearing boots that looked like they were from Target.
Not a red sole in sight among this crew.
“So, Shane, what do you do?” Anna asked.
“I’m in security. Patrols, personal protection. That kind of stuff,” Shane offered.
“Wow, that’s amazing. You do look very military. Is that your background?” she followed up.
“Yeah, I used to be a marine, but I’m also trained in hand-to-hand combat and several martial arts.” He shrugged and smiled at Anna. April did not like that gesture. It seemed warm and genuine, not like his usual masked smile.
Mason gulped and loosened his tie, his discomfort completely obvious. April felt “the ick” rising. No, no ick, she told herself. He’s just nervous.
Mason
Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck, Mason thought. Of all the women to fuck, did I have to pick the wife of the fucking Incredible Hulk? Tension radiated through him. Anna put her arm up around his shoulder, so he forced himself to relax so she couldn’t feel his growing discomfort. He had to get through this.
Shane seemed to stare into his soul. He watched the bigger man’s eyes drift toward Anna.
First her face, then her breasts, then her legs.
Anna watched him back and twisted her hair around her fingers.
Fuck no, he thought. Stop looking at my fiancée!
What in the partner-swapping hell had he got himself into here?
There was an obvious attraction. Anna looked at Mason and smiled reassuringly but then shifted her eyes to the giant man’s biceps.
Mason found himself flexing. His arms were big too.
He puffed out his chest and elongated his neck as much as he could.
“That’s great man. I’d love to use my body more at work, but in the corporate world, I rely way more on my brain.” Mason declared.
The Incredible Hulk looked down at him, staring right through him.
The silence that followed was uncomfortable.
Shit, why did I say that? It sounded insulting.
Did I insult tree man? Am I that insecure?
Mason thought. Is he going to hit me? Oh fuck.
God, help me. He remembered his Uncle Colin’s drunken threat one night to his dad: “I’ll rip off your head and shit down your neck.
” This tank of a man certainly seemed capable of doing just that.
Shane seemed to take mercy on him and laughed.
“Well, good for you mate. Full respect to corporate men, or any man who works hard. I’m on both sides these days, but I do miss physical work.
Keeps me sharp.” Shane’s voice was deep.
Good God, who birthed this giant man? A giantess?
Was he from Planet Earth? Why was he looking at Anna? Why was this damn tie so tight?
“Oh yes,” April purred. She squeezed Shane’s arm.
“Keeps him hot too.” Shane glanced down at April’s arm with disdain and flicked her off with one sharp movement.
Despite the tension in the air, Mason found himself smiling.
She was trying to make him jealous by flirting with the Hulk and clearly her husband couldn’t give a shit.
He was more desirable than this man if April was going to lengths to make him jealous.
Suddenly, the realization that the Hulk didn’t care made him stiffen.
If Shane truly didn’t give a shit, then April had nothing to lose by outing them.
This man had to care about April. He had to show some kind of emotion for April, or Mason would lose Anna and be left picking up the pieces of his life.
“April’s such a beautiful woman, just enchanting,” he said stupidly.
Why did I say that? Enchanting? Am I a duke from Ye Olde England? Oh fuck. I just complimented a woman in front of her humungous husband and my fiancée. Anna looked shocked.
“Of course, Anna is more beautiful. I mean, of course she is. She’s way hotter, way more enchanting,” he stammered. Just shut up. Shut the fuck up, he thought.
The huge man just shrugged. “Yeah, she is hotter. Plus, April’s a soulless bitch,” he stated simply, as though he was discussing football stats.
He really didn’t like his wife. But hang on, why was he all of a sudden Anna’s greatest fan? Maybe Mason wouldn’t die at the hands of a jealous husband after all. That was a relief but the Hulk’s obvious interest in Anna was infuriating. Anna was his, not Shane’s.
It was April’s turn to be outraged. This was going badly. Very, very badly.
“Excuse me? We’re both hot. I’m more refined and Anna’s more of a ... an acquired taste. Like a sweet woman you’d see serving at an eighteenth-century tavern. A niche beauty. Like a cult classic. I’m more of a mainstream beauty,” April finished.
She stared desperately at Mason. They were both fucking this up royally.
Anna looked at Shane as though they were the only sane ones there.
“Okkaaayy,” she said. “This is weird. What the hell kind of workplace culture do you have at that place?” She laughed.
It seemed to defuse the tension. That is, until Rosa appeared. She’d obviously heard the awkward exchange and being the bitch that she was, she was going to capitalize on it.
“Ladies and gents, aren’t we all beautiful in our own way?
Except for you Mason. You’re like the weedy single cousin who gets an obligation invite to a wedding, but no one wants on their table.
You bring down the hotness and height average,” She smiled like she’d complimented him. She wasn’t done yet.
“Hey hottie,” she directed at Shane. “You must be Avril.” She stared at April, who seemed to be about to either combust or flee.
“April,” she snapped. “It’s April.”
“My mistake,” Rosa soothed. “So, give me the tea on Mason at work. Is he the leper of the crew? Does he microwave fish in the lunchroom? Or release a lot of north wind in the meeting room? I’ve been on the receiving end of his farts, and they could choke a donkey.
At least he doesn’t follow through. Well, most of the time he doesn’t follow through. ”
“Rosa!” Anna interjected, but her eyes didn’t seem to reveal true anger. This was like a parallel universe. Why wasn’t Anna defending him properly?
April looked at him, her nose screwed up ever so slightly as though in disgust. That nose should be so wrinkled with the amount of time it spent in that position.
Great. He looked like a flatulent, sharting, insecure wimp in front of his girlfriend, his fiancée and this giant tank of a man. Fucking Rosa. She was such a bitch. He’d never sharted, at least not in front of her. How dare she? How could he end this?
Mel jumped in and began praising the bar décor.
“It’s so cozy in here. Last week I was going to—”
“I didn't shart,” he declared loudly and awkwardly, cutting Mel off. The group fell silent. Some girls who barely looked old enough to drink looked over and giggled, staring at each other with that universal facial expression that blatantly broadcasts “OMG, that is so embarrassing.”
The group shared confused and amused looks. April’s nose screwed up in her patented look of disgust. No wonder she needed Botox. Her nose should be like crepe paper at this point.
“Right, well. On that note, you should join our group,” Shane offered to Anna. “Come over and meet the rest of the guys.”
Anna, being her abnormally social self, agreed readily, waving to the group to move to the corner. They all shifted, even bitchy old Madame Celeste, who inexplicably gave him the evil eye as she passed him. She was a haughty cow. He never understood why Anna respected her so much.
April lagged behind. She grabbed his arm.
“What they hell are you doing?” she hissed. “What was all that fucking talk about hotness and bodily functions? And why was she all up in your business? People with dead bedrooms don’t hang off their significant others’ arms.”
“She’s putting on a front,” he pleaded. “In front of her boss and friends.”
April eyed him suspiciously. Fuck, this could all fall apart so quickly. Hold it together. Hold it together.
“Come on lovebirds,” Rosa called out to them with a wink. They both froze.
“She doesn’t know anything. She’s just a nasty bitch who tries to get a rise out of me at every opportunity,” he said under his breath.
April held her head high and wandered into the throng of people.