9. Zach
It took a mere two-minute phone call to change Zach’s jet ski from a single to a double. And given how the trip seemed to bring Remy to life, he was so glad he made his lover join him.
The way he whooped and cheered as they sped across the waves, their bodies pressed so tightly together that Zach could feel Remy’s wild heartbeat.
The sheer wonder in his voice as they circled Diamond Rock, the island of volcanic rock jutting out of the Caribbean only a couple miles off the shore of Le Diamont. Its surface glittered in the sun from certain angles, so spectacularly bright that it left Zach speechless for a time.
Remy’s head resting against Zach’s shoulder as he steered their jet ski through the winding waterways of an endless mangrove forest. His low, decadent voice whispering dirty promises in Zach’s ear.
They sat together on Le Diamont Beach now, bodies hot and wet, skin coated in a thin layer of the velvety white sand. “Christ, I needed this,” Remy said, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, letting the light of the setting sun wash over his golden skin. “I know I’ve said it a hundred times, but thank you. I don’t know how to tell you what these last few days have meant to me.”
Try. Zach wanted to say it out loud, but the word got stuck in his throat.
Placing his hand on top of Remy’s, Zach linked their fingers together, burying his own fingertips in the warm sand. “They’ve meant a lot to me, too. I realized a lot of things since I got here. Things I really needed to figure out.”
Remy smiled but didn’t open his eyes. “That’s great. What kind of things?”
“Well,” Zach said slowly, drawing out the word. “For one thing, I realized I might not actually be in love with my boss.”
Head jerking his way and eyes snapping open, Remy stared at him for a few seconds. “So that’s why you were thinking of leaving your job,” he said at last, a note of speculation in his voice.
“His name is Mason. He’s one of the Manor’s original founders. And he was everything I ever thought I wanted. For the last five years, I would do literally anything for him.” He cringed. “I even helped him plan a trip with the woman he fell in love with, for fuck’s sake.”
“Jesus,” Remy said, shock widening his eyes. “Why would you do that to yourself?”
Zach thought about that. Even back then, he didn’t entirely understand what kept him from saying no, even as his heart broke apart into tiny pieces in his chest. “Because he said thank you,” he answered at last.
Sliding his hand out from under Zach’s, Remy repositioned himself in the sand so they faced one another. “I’m sorry, did you just say what I think you just said?”
“The thing you need to understand about Mason is he’s reserved. Profoundly so. On the rare occasions he praised something I did or expressed genuine gratitude? God, it lit up my whole world.” He forced himself to look Remy in the eyes, not wanting to hide this part of himself anymore. “It’s pathetic, I know. But going away with Addison made Mason happy. And I wanted to make Mason happy, even if it killed me to do it.”
“No.” Remy cupped his cheeks with gentle hands, his eyes full of understanding, not judgment. “You’re not pathetic, baby. You have a praise kink. And something about this guy made it go haywire. That’s not your fault.”
A praise kink? He’d never even considered that, but it certainly explained a hell of a lot of things. Not least of which was why he’d always been most interested in older, confident, powerful men.
Zach leaned into Remy’s soft touch, wishing he could believe him. “I spent five years pining after him, looking for scraps of praise and approval. That sounds pretty pathetic to me.”
“So why are you here?” Remy asked, arching his brows in challenge.
Frowning, Zach said, “What do you mean?”
“You left the Manor and went off on a soul-searching trip to the Caribbean. I want to know why.”
“Because I’m fucking miserable, and I don’t want to be anymore.”
“There’s the first reason you’re not pathetic,” Remy told him, his tone allowing for zero arguments. “You recognized there was a problem, and you took the first steps necessary to figure out how to fix it.”
“But—”
“Now answer me this. Why do you think you’re not in love with Mason anymore?”
Because I think I might be falling in love with you instead.
No force on this planet would get Zach to speak those words aloud. Instead, he said, “Because with you, I feel like I matter just as much as you do. I—I don’t feel less than. I don’t feel like you’re the only important one, and it’s my job to take care of everything you could possibly need or want, no matter how much it hurts me to do it.”
“That’s because being with someone you love shouldn’t feel like a job,” Remy said, leaning in so their foreheads touched. “You shouldn’t have to chase after someone you love for scraps. Praise and gratitude and approval should be given freely. Intentionally. Lovingly. You deserve nothing less.”
Be brave.
“I don’t feel like I have to chase after you. You’ve given me all those things freely, from the beginning. And it made me realize what I felt before wasn’t love at all.” Drawing in a deep breath, Zach forced himself to finish with, “Because it never felt anything like this.”
When Remy pulled away, his smile made Zach’s heart flutter like the wings of a hummingbird. God, he was so fucking beautiful.
“My pretty little imp,” Remy said, brushing his fingertips along Zach’s cheekbone. “Do you have any idea what you do to me? It’s like I’ve been in some sort of coma for the last fifteen years. I’ve missed so much of my life while I did nothing but work. But you...you woke me back up again. I don’t want to go back to sleep.”
“Don’t worry.” Zach kissed him softly, gently. So very lovingly. “I won’t let you.”
Climbing to his feet, Remy pulled Zach up with him. “Walk with me.”
They strolled on the beach as the sun finished setting, hands linked, feet in the surf. The sense of peace that settled over Zach was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. For the first time in his life, he felt one hundred percent sure that he was exactly where he should be, doing exactly what he was supposed to be doing.
When they eventually returned to Remy’s room, Zach looked up into his lover’s face, basking in the look of adoration there. “I want you,” he said softly, moving closer so their bodies pressed together. “I want to be able to look into your eyes while you take me.”
“Whatever you want, my sweet boy,” Remy said, taking hold of Zach’s face with tender fingers, tilting his head just right as he pressed their lips together.
They took their time, slowly undressing each other, exploring one another’s bodies with hands and lips and tongues. “You have no idea what your body does to me,” Zach murmured as he kissed his way across Remy’s muscular chest, his hands sliding down to cup his lover’s firm ass. “It makes me want to worship at your feet.”
Lifting his face with a finger under his chin, Remy captured his mouth in a slow, sensual kiss. Moving them toward the bed, Remy laid him down on the comforter with such gentle care that tears sprung to Zach’s eyes. “Why are you crying, lovely?”
“Because—” His breath caught in his throat and he closed his eyes, afraid to see Remy’s reaction. “Because you’re perfect.”
Remy pressed soft kisses against each of his eyelids. “So are you.” As he straightened, he looped his arms under Zach’s knees, lifting until Zach’s ankles rested on his shoulders. “I’m going to get you ready for me now.”
Slick fingers pushed into Zach’s ass, moving in and out with such agonizing slowness that he groaned. “You’re killing me,” he complained, pumping his hips forward, seeking more.
Remy’s free hand clamped around one thigh, holding Zach still. “Let me take my time with you tonight. It’s time someone worshipped you for a change.”
Breath catching in his throat, Zach stared into those cinnamon eyes, searching for the joke he felt certain he’d find there. But there was no punchline. When he found only sincerity and adoration, he let his own eyes drift closed.
“Good boy,” Remy whispered, starting back up with his torturous fingers. When at last he decided Zach had been prepared enough, he gripped Zach’s ass, lifting. “Arch your hips up for me.”
Finally. If Remy didn’t start fucking him soon, he might not make it to morning.
Digging his heels into Remy’s shoulders, Zach did as he was told, letting out a long, low moan as Remy finally began pushing into him. “Oh God, please,” Zach said, his voice a high whine. “I need you.”
Remy’s hands clenched, fingers digging into his flesh with a sweet bite of pain. But he didn’t go any faster. Zach was about ready to explode by the time Remy fully buried his cock inside of him.
“Open your eyes.” Even though his voice was soft, it was undoubtedly a command. “Look at me.”
His whole body quivering, Zach did as he was told.
“You deserve to be worshipped. I don’t want you to ever forget that.”
And then he started moving, each slow slide of his cock like a stroke of a master painter’s brush, a line of heartachingly beautiful poetry, the swell of an aria.
Tears sprang to his eyes again, but this time, he didn’t look away. He kept his gaze locked with Remy’s as they moved, their bodies climbing higher and higher together.
When Remy leaned forward to claim Zach’s mouth in a kiss, the stretch of Zach’s hamstrings was enough to force a hiss out of him. And as Remy kissed him like a man starved, the angle of his cock changed just enough, and sweet fucking Jesus, it felt so good.
Breaths coming in short bursts, Zach wrapped his arms around Remy’s neck, holding on for dear life as he finally picked up the pace. “Yes,” he moaned against Remy’s lips. “God, yes. Please don’t stop.”
Remy buried his hands in Zach’s hair, the sharp tug of his fingers sending another delicious wave of pain shooting through him. “Come for me, love.”
White-hot pleasure exploded through Zach’s entire body. Some distant, foggy part of his brain recognized Remy’s shout of pleasure as he followed Zach over the edge of the cliff.
As they lay tangled together, sweaty and sticky and so perfectly sated, and Zach slowly came back to himself, he realized what Remy had said.
Love.
Yes. That’s it exactly.