Chapter Thirteen
Ash
"Ican't believe you went to Lilah and Jazz for help," Loralei says, staring up at me with wide eyes as we cuddle in bed at the cabin after the gala. Well, I guess the gala is over. I don't fucking know. I made a big donation, then we snuck out early.
Turns out, even when you're done hiding, nothing beats being alone in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.
Truthfully, I'll take every moment alone with her that I can get.
I know the press is going to show up sooner or later, eager to pry into my new life here, especially once the retirement announcement drops.
They'll piss me off, drive me up the fucking wall…
but eventually, they'll leave. I'll get the future I've been dreaming of since meeting Loralei—the one where I fit into her life like I was always supposed to belong there.
The one where she comes home to me every day.
The one where, for once, the only person I have to worry about is her.
I called Jess today to ask her to find me a group here to help me get from point A to point B. I don't think I'll need it, but I'm not going to risk it, either. If attending meetings and guarding my sobriety like a fucking hawk means I get to point B with Loralei, then that's what I'm going to do.
She only just forgave me for hurting her. I will not be doing that shit again anytime soon.
"I did," I murmur, running a hand down her bare hip. "We need to talk about Jazz, by the way."
"What about her?"
"You told me she was a handful. You failed to mention that she's terrifying, Loralei."
She buries her face in my chest, her body shaking with laughter. "That's something you have to learn for yourself, Ash."
"She threatened to torture me until I died and then bury my bones in your backyard so I had to spend eternity watching you be happy with someone else," I murmur.
Loralei stops laughing, pulling back to meet my gaze. "Really?"
"Yep."
"I love her," she says, beaming.
"I love that you have friends like her." I brush my thumb along her bottom lip. "You deserve that."
She smiles sweetly, her lips curving against my thumb, and then she settles against my chest again. "What happens next?"
I think about it for a moment. "I still have to finish the album.
There's no getting out of that. But I guess I move here," I say.
I've talked to the band about it at length.
None of them were surprised by my decision.
In truth, I think they were all relieved by it.
They're ready to be done with all the bullshit, too.
"To the cabin?"
"I suppose I buy a place…or move in with you."
Loralei freezes and then gasps a little, lifting her head to meet my gaze again. "You want to move in with me?"
"Well, yeah," I chuckle at the shocked look on her face. "We've pretty much been living together for the last two weeks already, baby. At some point, when you're ready, I'd love to make that official."
"You'd really move into my place?"
"Your grandma left it to you. It means something to you, so yeah, I'd move in."
The way she smiles tells me that's the right answer.
"How about tomorrow?"
I grin, my heart beating wildly. "You want me to move in tomorrow?"
"Well, you said we've basically been living together already," she says with a shrug. "Why not just make it official?"
"Yes," I groan, hauling her up my body to kiss the fuck out of her. "But I have conditions."
She moans against my lips, straddling my thighs. "What conditions?"
"You let me put a ring on your finger."
Her whole body goes still, her expression stunned. "What?"
I tip her head back, forcing her to meet my gaze. "Marry me. I don't care if it's next week or next year, but I want my ring on your finger when I'm in our bed next to you tomorrow night."
"You really want to marry me?"
"No," I whisper, tipping her over backward to spread her out beneath me.
"I don't want to marry you. I desperately need to marry you.
I need you tied to me in every conceivable way.
I need my ring on your finger, your name on my bank account, my kid in your belly.
" I hook her leg over my hip, sliding into her with a groan.
She's already soaked for me. Christ, she's always so fucking wet for me. I bury my face in her throat, nipping at the sensitive skin above her pounding pulse point.
"I need your future so tied to mine, you forget there was ever a time you weren't mine," I rasp, driving into her.
She melts beneath me, her back arching on a moan.
"Say yes."
"Yes!" she sobs almost instantly. "Yes, Ash."
Her answer rips through me like a blast. I feel it in my heart and in that deeper place, the one that belongs to her and her alone. The one that will only ever belong to her.
This woman is my soul. She's my purpose and my salvation.
"Christ," I whisper, my body shuddering. "Christ, baby. I love you."
"Ash," she whimpers, clinging to me like she's never going to let me go again. "I love you, too."
I send up a silent prayer to whichever god listens to motherfuckers like me, more grateful than ever that I ran, that I ran into her, and that she was brave enough to give me her whole heart.
I'm going to spend the rest of my fucking life ensuring I deserve it.