12. CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 12
Neo
M oisture weights down the air as I step over the same fallen log I stepped over yesterday. Perspiration dots my forehead and I swipe it away with the back of my hand. Birds chatter and squirrels scamper along the highway of branches overhead, but I keep my attention glued to the muscular ass in front of me.
The heatwave that has held the region in its clutches has no intention of surrendering control, but I can’t complain too much when it means early morning walks to a remote lake for naked swimming. This is the second full day at the safe house and already Colden and I have a routine.
Despite the fact that I’m in hiding, being confined with Colden in a remote location has been better than anything I could imagine. Waking this morning entwined in his arms, which inevitably ends in mutual orgasms and a shared shower, which ends in more orgasms. It’s more like we’re living together than holed up in a safe house.
Colden halts and I stop next to him, my shoulder pressed to his as we take in the beauty before us. Cotton candy clouds dot the blue sky and even through the haze of humidity, they reflect off the clear water like a mirror. Shades of green circle the lake. I breathe in the scent of earth and pine. From up here, the trees look like sentries guarding the oasis from all who dare to disturb it.
I know Colden leads me on these hikes to keep my mind off the fact that I’m not allowed to speak to Dacker, or Hendrix, per SPAM’s protocol. And it makes me fall even more for him.
“This never gets old.” Colden’s finger wraps around my pinky, and just like every time he touches me, a jolt of electricity surges, with a direct hit to my chest.
I rest my head on his shoulder, soaking in the peace that I only seem to find in nature. Being here with him feels like sharing a secret. “Is it weird that part of me is happy that this happened? I’ve been so focused on my research that I haven’t taken a break, let alone a vacation, since we went to Rehoboth after Dack’s injury.”
“Where you stole my shirt?” He kisses the top of my head, and I can feel his smile.
I elbow his side. “Where you threw your shit everywhere, and I cleaned up after you.”
“Agree to disagree.” He clasps my hand and leads me down the winding path to the narrow slice of sand that bumps up against the water.
Colden hasn’t said anything more about Dacker as it relates to us, so saying my brother’s name without him flinching or running in the opposite direction is a shock to my system. “Are we going to discuss Dacker and whatever concerns you have around him?”
“Nope.” He lays out two towels, snapping them into submission, then tosses down the Forest Garvis book he’s been reading to me.
I set the cold bag filled with drinks and snacks next to them, then sit on the blue cotton towel with dolphins diving over the word Maui. I untie my shoes and remove them and my socks. “You know, it’s not good to hold things in.”
“We’re not discussing your brother.” Colden pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it at me, hitting me in the face, but I glimpse the tic in his jaw.
“Hey.” I chuck the shirt back at him, but not before getting a nose full of sun, sweat, and sweet that is Colden. His laughter booms, startling birds from tree limbs into the sky like dozens of shooting stars.
He toes off his sneakers and drops his shorts, giving me an eyeful of skin and muscle, and hauls ass, splashing into the water. “Last one in gives the blowjob.”
“That’s no way to get me moving faster.” I stand and peel off my clothes, watching the lighter skin of Colden’s bubble butt rise, then disappear as he dives underneath the surface. When he breaches the water, his face is alight with joy, and I want to see it stay that way forever. So, I drop the Dacker topic—for now—remove the cord around my neck and drop it onto my shirt, then race after him into the water.
Splashing droplets of water rain down on me. By the time I’m chest deep, my balls shrivel up and my nipples are hard enough to cut through the humidity. “Shit. You could have warned me it was fucking freezing.”
“It was just as cold yesterday.” His hand slaps the surface and a wave of water smacks my chest.
“You’re gonna pay for that.” I dive at him and the rumble of his laughter swells rippling through my insides, making me forget about the icy water.
He springs out of my reach, his athletic form gliding along the surface. And all I can do is watch. Watch his powerful legs propelling him with ease. The early morning light shimmers, making it look like fairies dancing on the water. The coo of a dove. Trees lining the ridge—
My chest tightens, then dips to my knees before roaring up and screaming to a stop at the base of my throat.
Ridge…
“Colden.” My voice squeaks. I clear it and try again. “Colden.”
He halts immediately, head swiveling right to left, searching for danger. Even from this distance, I can see the tension in his body. Gaze narrowed in on me, his strokes are strong and sure. “What is it?”
“What was Alexander’s real name again?” Please don’t say Paris Ridge.
“Paris Ridge.”
My body trembles. “Ridge.”
“What is it?” In front of me now, he envelopes me in his strength and presses his lips to my temple with reassuring kisses.
“Rylan Ridge.” The words tumble out, as shaky as my muscles.
He holds me tighter. “Who is Rylan Ridge?”
Licking my dry lips, I swallow and lean into his strength. “The head of Grow and Glow. The organization who just agreed to fund my research.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
Clasping my hand, he strides toward the shore, slicing through the water like he dares it to slow him down. “Let’s go.”
We dress quickly, and he clasps the cord around my neck. I clutch the pendant and rub my thumb over the raised design.
Colden flips open the SPAM phone. “No service. We’ll contact Arlo when we get to the cabin. Until then, tell me everything.”
“There’s not much to tell. Dr. Lexton was the one to suggest we send in a proposal to Grow and Glow. They have a division focusing on dying with dignity and grief. He said he knew the CEO and the work they were doing seemed like a good fit with my research. I researched them and agreed, so we did the proposal.” I adjust the cold bag so it doesn’t feel like it’s sliding off my shoulder. Right now, it’s the only thing I’m able to feel. “I thought it was strange how quickly everything happened.”
“How so?” He studies me as he checks his phone again like a service signal will magically appear.
I puff out a breath. “It usually takes months, sometimes a year until you hear anything other than a, We received your proposal, from organizations. But with Grow and Glow it was weeks. Dr. Lexton explained it away, saying he let Mr. Ridge know we’d sent it in, so the proposal was fast tracked.”
“So he connected you with both the Ridge men?” He squeezes my hand almost to the point of pain, but the feel of his cool skin against mine eases the panic lacerating every good thing that’s happened to me in the last six months.
“Yes.”
We spend the remainder of the walk with me, telling him again how I met Alexander—Paris—our relationship, and explaining the proposal process in excruciating detail.
After twenty minutes, the cabin comes into view. Like he did yesterday, Colden pushes me behind him as we approach. I wait at the backdoor while he searches the cabin. For what I don’t know, since we’re in the middle of nowhere. I haven’t seen or heard anything other than wildlife since arriving.
The crunch of leaves sends alarm bells going off in my head, and I scan the tree line. Two brown eyes gaze my direction. Ears that the white speckled baby deer has yet to grow into twitch as it stands frozen in its spot. I relax my shoulders and scan the area for mama. In the distance, I see her watching me, ready to come to her baby’s rescue if needed.
“It’s clear.” Colden holds the door open, and I enter, immediately feeling shielded by all the unseen, unknown threats out in the real world.
Here, in this little cabin, it’s just Colden and me, and I don’t have to worry about research, ethics, grants, grief, bills, or any of the other things that make up life. “Thank you.”
He takes the cold bag and sets it on the kitchen counter before guiding me to the worn leather sofa. Then he opens the flip phone and puts it on speaker.
“Hey, partner. How’s it going?” Arlo’s ever present cheer calms more of the panic swirling in my chest. There are good people looking out for me and my work.
“Neo made a connection.” Colden’s clipped voice is all business.
“Tell me.” Arlo shifts from easygoing to sober in an instant.
Colden sits next to me, our legs pressed together from hip to ankle. “Neo can tell you.”
And so I tell Arlo everything I told Colden. While I speak, I hear him tapping on his keyboard. When I finish, the clicking continues, and he says, “This explains a lot.”
“Explains what exactly?” Colden’s hand spasms on my thigh, squeezing the muscles.
“Well, we couldn’t figure out how Paris ended up being president of Boston. I mean, other than being pretty, he didn’t seem to have much that would lead their membership to vote him in. But… If Daddy was the former president, then left abruptly, perhaps Daddy worked behind the scenes to keep power through pretty boy.”
His brows pulling together, Colden frowns at the phone. “That’s a lot of conjecture.”
“Perhaps. But Grow and Glow is headquartered in Maryland. And last year, the Delmarva Villains’ Association had an abrupt leadership change that coincides with the change in Boston.” More taps on the keyboard echo through the speaker, under Arlo’s words. “Remember that weird ad I showed you the other day, Colden?”
“In the paper that you and three other people buy?”
Arlo doesn’t seem bothered by Colden’s snarky comment, which only makes me like the guy more. Not everyone sees through Colden’s defenses, and knowing he has someone other than Dacker and his aunt who understand him settles something in me that always seems to worry about him. “I did a little sleuthing on that. And guess who’s behind them?”
“Grow and Glow,” I say, even though I’m not sure what they’re talking about.
“I’ll take, You are correct, Neo, for eight hundred, Alec.” Pride beams through Arlo’s voice.
Colden’s hold of my thigh alternates between kneading and caressing. “So, if I’m hearing you correctly, you think Rylan Ridge put his kid, Paris, aka. Alexander, in charge of Boston, so he could take over Delmarva.”
“And I think that when Paris didn’t get his hands on Neo’s work fast enough, Daddy Ridge took matters into his own hands.” More typing. “There was a bulletin a few weeks ago about instability within the Philly Villains’ Association.”
“You think it’s connected?” Colden wraps his arm around my waist, and I lean into his strength, resting my head on his shoulder.
The clicking stops. “I think it’s a pretty big coincidence that there’s been so much volatility within so many chapters in this region. Don’t you?”
“I think April made a good decision placing you in Eternity, partner.” Colden kisses the top of my head. Which, for the record, I will never tire of.
There’s silence. Then, “Did you just call me partner?”
“No.” I don’t need to see Colden’s face to know he’s smiling. It’s clear in the two-letter word. However gruff he tries to be, the man is nothing but a big teddy bear.
“Yes, you did.” Bubbles, sparkles, and everything light and joyful fill Arlo’s voice. “Neo heard it. Didn’t you Neo?”
I imagine Arlo doing the salsa in his loafers around a desk somewhere. “Yep. Definitely heard it.”
“I misspoke.” Vibrations buzz from Colden’s chest through me.
“No take backs.” Arlo’s laughter rings through the line. “I’ve sent the information to April. Once I hear from her, I’ll be in touch. Bye, partner. ” The line goes dead before either of us can respond.
Chuckling, Colden leans back into the cushions, taking me with him, and I gladly go.
“If you repeat this, especially to Arlo, I’ll deny it, but I’ll miss him when he’s transferred.” There’s a hint of dejection lacing his tone.
I shift so I’m facing him, holding him close and resting my cheek on his chest. His heartbeat tells the story of a childhood of being left behind. When I was a boy. I could feel Colden’s sadness like it was my own, so I would draw him pictures, hoping it was enough to take the sadness away. “Maybe he’ll stay.”
“Why would anyone want to stay in Eternity?” Absently, he runs his fingers through my hair.
“Why do you?” It’s the question I’ve wanted to ask since he moved there. Since he took the job with SPAM.
His fingers twine and twirl strands of my hair, and my eyes grow heavy with relaxation. “I was running, and Eternity was as good a place as any to hide out.”
He said something about running from me the other night. A lump forms in my throat, and I want to sit up so I can see his expression. But I don’t want to spook him away from talking. So, I tighten my hold on him. “What were you running from?”
“You,” he whispers.
The air thickens with emotion and my head spins. What does he mean? Will he run again when this is over? How will I go back to life without him after I’ve tasted him and felt what it’s like to be inside of him? When I know what it’s like to wake wrapped in him? Or know things like he washes his feet and legs before moving to his torso, arms, and face?
I say nothing. Maybe because if I remain silent, I can pretend we never had this conversation. Or maybe I’m just a chickenshit.
“Dacker’s more than a friend. He’s like my brother.” Colden huffs humorlessly. “He’s been more of a brother to me than Calix. Hell, your parents and my aunt were more parents to me than my own.” He falls silent, fingers continuing their twist in my hair. “I was afraid.”
His heartbeat speeds up, and I squeeze my eyes shut. “Of what?”
“Of losing, Dack. Losing you. Losing your dad.”
Unable to hold back anymore, I sit up, straddle him, and hold his face in my hands. “You will never lose us. You will always be a part of our family.”
His eyelids flutter, and not for the first time, I notice how thick his dark lashes are. “There’s a code. And top on the list is, you don’t mess with your best friend’s brother.”
“So, let me get this straight. You thought that if we hooked up, Dacker would get pissed and never talk to you again?”
“You make it sound stupid when you use that voice.” He looks up from under his lashes, and there’s a touch of pink tinting his cheeks. “I’d never do anything to risk my friendship with Dacker. And I’d never risk hurting you. What if things didn’t work out? What if you wanted things I couldn’t give you? What if I wanted things you couldn’t give me? It would get awkward, and Dack would be put in the middle. Eventually, he’d have to choose between the two of us, and of course he’d pick you.”
Teddy bear. The man is nothing but fluff and softness inside. Keeping his face in my grasp, I press my forehead to his. “You dumb, dumb man.”
“Hey.” He tries to pull his head back, but I tighten my grip and keep our foreheads together.
“A, Dacker would tell both of us to get over ourselves, so there would be no concern about him being in the middle of anything. B, there’s always the risk of things not working out every time we date, but that’s what people do. They date, with the hope they’ll find their person.” I kiss the tip of his nose. “At least most people. There are always going to be those who date just to date. And C, not seeing you, not talking to you, communicating only via texts hurt me.”
“Neo.” Frosty fingers cup my cheeks and warm lips cover my mouth. It’s slow and sweet. A kiss filled with fear and regret. But it’s the honeyed taste of hope that caramelizes in my mouth, releasing thousands of fluttering butterflies in my stomach.
I slow the kiss, then pull away until we’re eye-to-eye. “I was serious when I said this can’t be just once.”
“Last count, I think we’re at six. Seven, if you count me watching you jerk yourself off this morning.” A twinkle in his eyes, he playfully tickles my waist.
I narrow my eyes and pinch his nipple. He jumps, but his pupils pop. It satisfies something deep within me to know what Colden likes, and to be the one to give it to him. “I mean, this,” I gesture between the two of us, “doesn’t end when we leave the safe house. This is just the beginning.”
“But—”
I take his mouth, eating his lips and consuming as much of him as possible. Because hearing any more of his excuses may just crush me.