Chapter 37
Paige
I am having a hard time falling asleep. I am so pissed at myself for fighting what I feel for Graham, while Seth seems to be interested in Graham’s fiancée.
I don’t feel guilty, though I know I should. Part of it relates to my suspicions about Seth and Katherine’s friendship. Something has changed. Ever since the river, he has seemed distant. At first, I thought maybe he saw Graham kiss me, or maybe it was our fighting in the tent. I wonder if I have missed some serious red flags.
I am tired of not knowing where we stand all the time. He still had been saying I love you, but even that seems dry, and Seth doesn’t look at me like I have seen him occasionally glance toward Kat.
Isn’t that the type of love that we all want?
With my mind racing a mile a minute, I need a long run.
I am a mile into my run when I notice a familiar silhouette on the treadmill beside me. I don’t bother removing my air pods and smile brightly at Graham as he starts his workout. I am suddenly grateful I wore my cute new workout set. I feel like a teenager repeatedly looking over out of the corner of my eye as we run. He’s matching my pace. Meeting me step for step.
There is something sexy about this man’s confidence in his ability to be present in my life. He often doesn’t even need to say a word but just shows me he is there with me. I just can’t understand why Katherine isn’t all over him, married with three kids. I would have this man locked down.
Once I reach my cool down, Graham immediately follows my lead, and I laugh. Sweat-soaked, I take a long drink of water before wiping myself with my towel. Once I finish, he steals my towel and wipes his face.
I swat at him before snatching it back, throwing it over my shoulder, and heading to a free-weight machine to begin my arm workout. Graham follows me from machine to machine, completing the same workout but maxing out the weight each time.
This continues for over an hour, and not a single word is spoken. It is one of the hottest things I have ever experienced. The stolen glances turned me on so much I would come from his slightest touch. I smile, finally taking out my air pods.
“I’m going to grab my stuff. Be right back.”
He nods, and I decide that I want him. I return from the locker room, pulling on my light jacket, to see Graham there with his jacket on and a bag over his shoulder.
We head into the slightly empty parking lot, which has chilled quite a bit since the sunset. I look at my watch and realize it’s nearly one-thirty. I have been here for over two hours.
We get to my car, and I lean back against the door. Graham faces me, smiling, and his arms land on either side of me. Our foreheads touch, and I know we both want the same thing. I lift my hands towards his face and pull him towards mine. I kiss him softly at first, testing to see how receptive he is before feeding it deeper.
He opens his mouth to me, and my fingers tangle in his dark, damp, sweat-soaked curls. I moan, and he pulls my body to his in response. I drop my hands to his chest and pull his shirt, ensuring no space between us. His hands slide down towards my ass, and he only hesitates a moment before pulling away from me too quickly. It takes me a second to register what has happened, and I can see the interested bulge in Graham’s workout shorts.
Our eyes meet, and he is kissing me again. This kiss is deep and possessive, and it almost feels like he will never get to kiss me again as his face touch cradles my face. A new type of heartache begins to grow in my chest from this change. This is a goodbye kiss, and I don’t want to end it here. I pull away slightly, breathless and lay it out there.
“Your place? Or mine?”
His initial reaction is yes to my invitation. I can see it in his eyes, feel it in the way his breath catch in his chest as the air thicken between us. He tucks a piece of my loose hair behind my ear and smiles. Then he only lingers a moment longer before pulling away from me entirely, and I can’t breathe. Tears immediately fill my eyes. Regret seems to be filling his eyes as he wipes the tears rolling down my cheek. I am so stupid for letting him see me like this.
“Paige.”
His voice is so soft. I look at him, my face cradled in his hand, and force myself to listen to what he has to say next.
“I have some extremely strong feelings for you, and I’m not entirely sure I could ever let go if I finally got to have you.”
His words seem honest, but they splinter my heart into a million pieces. I thought the same thing on more than one occasion, and it’s probably why I have tried to keep things going. Our chemistry is more than just physical. I crave him on a deeper level than anyone else, and I think he is feeling the same way.
I pull away from him, and more tears roll down my cheeks. It feels like this is the end of us. I walked away from the river, and he is walking away now. Maybe I can give Seth a real chance if I’m not so mindlessly in love with Graham.
“So that’s it. You flirt with me all this time to just bail the second I offer it all to you.”
I spat hurt and he flinches at the words. Saying nothing as he steps back from me. I sigh, annoyed, and turn to open my car door. He stops me and waits until I step to the side before opening the car door for me. The audacity of this man. He is going to assist me in my storming off angry right now. Which just makes me want him more.
I don’t say anything else to him as I buckle myself into the driver’s seat. He closes the door and steps back again. I don’t even bother looking at him, turning the keys over in the ignition and pulling out of the parking lot, fully intending to leave everything I feel for him behind.