Chapter Sixteen #2
With a sigh, she slipped into his embrace and buried her face against his chest, inhaling deeply.
After the news about her brother, she needed this.
She ached to share her fear and guilt with him, but if he knew, he’d only dig in his heels about her leaving alone.
Might make some unilateral decision to protect her.
Like I’m doing to him? But it wasn’t the same.
Keeping Ford in the dark didn’t put anyone else at risk, while also keeping him safe.
No doubt, if he knew about Erik, Ford would prioritize her life above her brother’s.
Even before his own. He’d proven that, and it scared her now.
She didn’t want him to play bullet catcher for her anymore.
She wanted something entirely different from him. She wanted to enjoy their last night together. And she could sure as hell use the distraction from the horror of her brother’s situation—and her role in it—and the looming end date to her time with Ford.
She snuggled deeper into his embrace. He was warm and solid, and he smelled amazing. Like the man she loved.
Her nose burned and her brow crinkled with the need to cry. How could she leave him?
How could she not?
She took a deep breath and recommitted to her decision to leave in the morning, no matter what. But right now? This moment was all that was guaranteed, and she intended to make the most of it.
Lifting her head and rising onto her toes, she pressed a soft kiss to Ford’s lips.
He groaned and tightened his grip on her, deepening the kiss until they were both breathing hard.
God, she loved him so much. Leaving was going to tear her apart.
But it would keep him whole, and alongside protecting her family, that had become a top priority.
Enough of that. She wouldn’t let thoughts of tomorrow spoil her last night with him.
Pulling back far enough to look into his gorgeous blue eyes, she squeezed his hard glutes with her good hand and rolled her pelvis against him. “I’m ready to go back to bed.”
Face flush, he gave her another searing kiss. He glanced over at the narrow staircase. “Fuck it.” Without another word, he hoisted her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, and carried her up to bed.
The next morning, Ford took Blitz for a walk in the park while Natalie checked in with her contacts. The clouds overhead darkened menacingly, and he mentally berated himself for not bringing an umbrella.
They matched his mood though. Natalie leaving should be a good thing. If they spent much more time together he might do something stupid, like fall for her.
Maybe it’s too late.
He batted that thought away like a pesky fly. Enjoying someone’s company, caring for them, wasn’t the same as love. That was…friends with benefits.
Except, were they friends?
A few weeks ago he’d have said no. He also would’ve called her wild and impulsive and a danger to herself and others and…not truly meant it. If he were honest, those were the things that drew him to her. The only danger she presented was to his carefully crafted detachment. His fault, not hers.
What the hell was he doing? Elucidating Natalie’s finer points would not make it easier to say goodbye.
Snapping the leash lightly, he urged Blitz to do her business with haste, and called his sister with an update about Wallace’s possible connection to Archer Lonagan.
“Well, that’s a disgusting combo.”
“No kidding.” Ford scanned the park while Blitz glued her nose to a spot in the grass. Natalie and her friend had pissed off some of the worst of humanity.
Amber made a contemplative sound. “I still can’t believe Natalie’s all wrapped up in this. I might have to rethink my opinion of her.”
You and me both.
His sister promised to keep digging and when the call ended, he immediately dialed Lehmann.
She connected but didn’t say a word.
“How is he?” Ford prompted in German.
“He is doing well. Stable condition, recovering nicely.”
Ford relaxed a little, even as a gust of wind whipped at his shirt. “And safe?”
“Of course,” she said archly.
Oops. He grimaced. “I trust you. I just usually have more control over the situation.”
She scoffed. “Ja, okay.”
“Any idea how soon he can be moved?” Henri shouldn’t stay in one place for long. Getting him to a private clinic was paramount for his safety. Those places lived and died on their ability to keep their clients’ identities and whereabouts secret.
Unfortunately, while the rest of the world might still believe the man dead, the bad guys wouldn’t fall for that ruse so easily a second time.
Ford tightened his grip on Blitz’s leash.
Could this be more complicated? Until things were settled with Deschamps and Henri, and with Natalie and the cadre of powerful assholes who apparently wanted her dead, Ford was stuck.
He didn’t even mind so much with Natalie, but their time together had a fast-approaching deadline. They’d carved out some semblance of normalcy and joy, but even if she hadn’t declared her intention to leave in two days, their time together had always been stamped with an expiration date.
Only, the more time they spent together, the more difficult it became to imagine walking away. Just this morning he’d pictured her attending Deschamps’ trial with him, both of them there to support Henri.
Ridiculous.
Lehmann broke into his thoughts. “The doctor says a few more days. I already have a new location lined up for him.”
“Perfect. What do you need from me?”
“Just another installment.”
Of course. He paid her in advance for each additional week on the job.
Exorbitant rates, but worth every euro. And one thing Henri did have was money.
When Ford had first taken him on as a client, Henri had set up a generous account to draw from, ironically full of dirty money Deschamps had used to pay for his daughter’s care.
Recent events meant they were burning through it faster than expected, but Ford could cover things for a while if it came to it, just as he’d been doing for Natalie.
As he ended the call with Lehmann, a drop of water landed on his nose.
Cutting his walk short, he tugged Blitz toward their temporary home.
By the time they rounded the fishmonger’s stand, the rain had begun in earnest and water glued his shirt to his back.
Inside the building, Blitz moved slowly on the winding staircase with its slippery tile steps, and Ford held the rail to be safe as the two of them made a wet mess on the floor.
He’d have to remember to come back and wipe it down.
The careful pace made him antsy. Like it or not, he couldn’t fight the pull toward Natalie.
Just the thought of seeing her when he walked in the door made his stomach dive like a submarine.
Blitz seemed to match his impatience, racing down the hall as soon as they made the top landing.
He punched in the door code and pushed inside, a foolish smile spreading across his face.
Maybe after he shared the update on Henri, Nat would let Ford take her back to bed. Or take her on the couch. The kitchen counter. Anywhere. His pulse thrummed in his veins. “Hey,” he called out. “Good news.”
He locked the door behind him, dripping all over the tile.
Blitz caught him by surprise, the leash slipping from his hands as she shot down the hallway into the dining room.
“Fuck. Blitzkrieg, get your ass back here.” Even though he was going to have to mop the entire first floor now, Ford laughed at her eagerness.
Until she loped back into the hall and stopped at his feet to look up at him with a whine.
He grabbed the leash and twisted it around his hand to keep her close. “She’s probably upstairs.” Not wanting to track more water into the apartment, he called out, “Nat?”
“Hey.” She appeared at the top of the stairs, her face flushed. “You’re back sooner than I expected.” In the fifteen minutes he’d been gone, she’d changed into a T-shirt and linen pants, combed out her hair, and put on eye makeup. “I guess you didn’t take the umbrella.”
“Sadly, no.” He reached into the small bathroom and grabbed two towels.
If wiping down Blitz ruined one of them, he’d pay for it.
He gave his own hair a quick rub and slung the towel over his shoulders.
Then he trapped Blitz between his feet and started wiping her head, using his knees to keep her from slithering away, while she tried to turn it into a game.
Glancing up at Natalie again, he frowned despite how pretty she looked.
“You going somewhere?” He didn’t remember making any plans.
Her gaze darted to the floor and she opened her mouth, shaking her head as if trying to conjure a response. “I…just wanted to be ready for the day.” The cheer in her voice rang false.
He could feel his brow furrow as something tugged as his mind. Had he caught her doing…something?
She smiled and took the first step down the spiral staircase. “I think I saw a mop in the closet down there.”
His gaze strayed to the narrow ledge under the bathroom window where Natalie’s small collection of toiletries had been haphazardly arrayed when he brushed his teeth earlier.
The shelf stood bare. Loosening his grip on Blitz, he walked fully into the small space.
No shampoo in the shower. Only one toothbrush in the cup next to the sink. No makeup bag on the counter.
His heart flailed like a dying fish as he returned to the hallway and found Nat paused halfway down the stairs, her brows cinched together as she watched him emerge. When she clocked his expression, her cheeks flamed and she bit her lip.
He forced himself to maintain eye contact, weary with the hurt and anger that clawed at his skin. “You were going to leave.” His words fell like daggers into the charged air between them. “Weren’t you?”