45
Aspen
Pacing, I swept from one end of my cabin to the other. Something pivotal fluttered in my chest, a swarm of fireflies taking flight.
He loved me.
He said it first.
I’d stopped wanting this. Before Aire’s mission, my wishes were dreamy, idealistic. After he left, I went on with my life, recalling my crush with humiliation.
Since his return, something new had taken root. It had grown slowly, taking its time with the deep patience of a seed. Under the surface. Building strength.
A linen night shift and robe swished around my calves, and my bare feet slapped the floor.
If I didn’t stop traversing the living room with so much nervous energy, I’d dig a swale into the floor.
Halting, I glanced from the brimming hearth to the cupboard, its doors hand-painted in wheat stalks.
Briar would know how to organize the furniture.
Flare would know how to enhance the ambience.
Both females proved anyone could be fierce and romantic in equal measure.
Channeling two of my favorite women, I considered the candlesticks propped on various tabletops. More lighting. I could do more lighting. Setting my shoulders, I reached for the first brass taper.
A gentle knock shook the door. I froze, my arm hovering. That courteous sound buzzed in my ears, and my heart pounded like a fauna stampede. Retracting my hand from the tapers, I brushed through the tousled locks of my hair.
Wheeling to the high mirror resting against the wall, I pointed at my reflection. “Lock it down, Aspen,” I lectured. “Cease acting like a timid debutante on her wedding night, instead of a woman who’d been wielding a lance and galloping at breakneck speed atop a stallion mere hours ago.”
Aspen of Autumn was experienced. Aspen of Autumn had mopped the training field with many-a-soldier’s-ass. Aspen of Autumn just won a jousting match.
Approaching the threshold, I sucked in a bolstering draft of oxygen, swung open the door—and lost my fucking breath.
Like a golden deity, he filled the doorway to capacity. With one hand grasping the jamb, his head had been tipped down in thought. But it lifted the second I answered, the warm glow from inside spilling across his face like honey.
Like me, Aire had bathed. He also dressed for the occasion, the scents of aged leather and the wind itself emanating from the fresh vest, shirt, and overcoat that molded to his frame.
A few scrapes tracked across his jaw, slender red lines from the tournament.
Backdropped by the midnight sky and straightening the instant I opened the door, he couldn’t have looked more like a knight in shining armor.
Minus the armor.
I clenched the knob. “Hi.”
“Hello.” A tender sort of hunger cast across his features. “May I?”
Nodding, I made room for him to enter, stepping back to allow Aire’s big body to fit through. Pinning his gaze to mine, he stalked over the threshold and closed the door behind him. The heavy latch clicked, jumpstarting my pulse.
Separated by five feet, we stared at one another.
Fascinated devotion radiated from Aire, his gaze pouring down my body, riveting on every curve beneath the delicate yards of fabric.
The shadows of my cleavage, flanked by the robe lapels.
The outlines of my breasts. The unshod toes peeking from my hem.
Every place his attention skimmed lit a match to my skin.
We had planned this, agreeing to meet after Aire shuttled Nicu to his cabin. I hadn’t gotten fancy, hadn’t gussied myself up like a noble. Even so, I’d chosen something soft and light, a pretty garment that still felt like me.
Esteem consumed Aire’s features. “You’re breathtaking.”
“You clean up nicely too.” My attention dropped to his hands. “What’s that?”
Only now did I notice him fidgeting, his antsy fingers groping a miniature sack. Aire’s complexion reddened as if he’d forgotten the bundle and his manners.
He cleared his throat. “I wasn’t sure if you brought one with you. So…”
Entranced, I accepted the gift. Overturning the sack, I gasped as a smooth, glittering rock—tied with a straw and maple leaf—landed in my palm.
“For the whetstone,” I whispered.
Sheepish, Aire gestured to the object. “I would have presented it to you sooner, but it took me a while to forage for a suitable one.”
The whetstone he gave me years ago required constant upkeep, a tool to flatten the gouged areas where I honed my axe. Rightly so, Aire suspected I hadn’t brought an option to do the job.
The knight grunted. “You may have no need for it. But since flowers aren’t your preference, I thought—”
Touched beyond measure, I snatched his wrist. “I love it.”
With a swing of my chin, I indicated the whetstone resting on the mantel. Spotting the relic of our past, Aire’s uncertainty melted into relief. I’d been harsh the last time he gave me a present, and I refused to make that same mistake, regardless of whether I’d been protecting him before.
“I love it,” I stressed once more, pressing the rock to my chest.
And I love you. So much.
In the blazing light, he soaked up my expression. But if the knight grasped my feelings, he didn’t say so. Instead, this man watched me hold the rock as if I held his heart.
Turning to hide my own blush, I carried the rock to the mantel. While propping it beside the whetstone, I filled the void. “Is he okay?”
Aire’s footfalls traveled across the room. “He is.”
Nicu had been gutted seeing Lyrik with that other bloke, but he recovered with the tenacity of his mother. By the tournament’s end, Nicu was ecstatic to see me and Aire kissing on that field. Nothing could have shaken his buoyant mood after that.
Lyrik stayed behind for the revels, which would last until dawn, while the rest of us trailed home. On the way, our worries over Nicu finally ebbed. The Royal Son possessed the backbone of an oak tree. He would be fine.
As for my dealings with Summer, Aire and I hadn’t told Nicu yet. But we would together.
As for my jousting prize, we’d gotten our answer too. The shield’s engraving matched the makeshift weapons in the armory tent. The defenses were stolen from that blacksmith, which meant the knights had indeed planned to ambush villages by outfitting themselves like the townsfolk.
Shortly before the castle blackout on Reaper’s Fest—back when Jeryn first allied with Poet and Briar—Rhys had botched the disguises of his Spring spies. He’d hired them to dress as knights, a mistake that fashionable Poet had called out during an impromptu meeting of the Seasons’ Royals.
I hadn’t been there to witness the scene.
Instead, Briar recalled the events for me later, including when Poet stabbed Rhys in the hand, then Jeryn stabbed the king in the neck with a tranquilizer.
At any rate, Summer had learned his lesson and ordered more authentic concealment from his traitorous cult.
My axe was enough, and I didn’t want to take advantage of the joust. But since I also couldn’t insult the blacksmith after the loss he’d suffered, I secretly gifted the shield to a young bloke of about twelve.
My age, when the Masters had cornered me.
If the knights found a way around us and attacked the village later, the boy would at least have a fighting chance.
Aire and I would go over the next move tomorrow.
Later. After.
More footsteps. His deliberate silence brushed a hot path up my spine.
Turning from the mantle, my eyes widened. Wax tapers glimmered from every corner, the wicks trembling with specks of orange that swam across the walls.
He towered in the center. He’d done this in moments.
I fumbled for a sly response. “I didn’t know I had that many candles.”
Fastening me to the floor with his eyes, Aire sauntered forward. “You’re nervous.”
As the tail of his overcoat brushed the planks, my skin pebbled. To cover it up, I pretended to scoff. “Ridiculous. What makes you say that?”
The question ended on a wispy exhalation as he paused inches from me, the trim of his lapels caressing my robe, the delicate friction toughening my nipples. “We’ve consummated before,” Aire murmured, his respirations stroking my lips.
Consummated. Fucked. Very different terms, yet I’d always fancied that contrast in us.
I hedged. “Not like this. I’ve been with plenty of chaps, but…”
Understanding darkened his face. “Never by candlelight.”
Never. No candles, flames, or presents tied with maple leaves.
When I shook my head, a gruff noise cut from his lungs. “Did they please you?”
“Usually,” I answered. “As someone who’s picky about her options, I made sure.”
“But they did not woo you.” Studying me further, he coaxed, “By choice, you enjoyed yourself without seeking deeper intimacy. It was casual sex.”
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“No, there is not.” His fingers stole out to cup my cheek. “So long as it’s on your terms.”
“I felt more with you.” I leaned into his palm. “In the tree. On the swing. At the tower. Those times meant something to me, in ways others didn’t. Even so, flowers and serenades before rutting aren’t part of my backstory. Not like the kind of sex you’ve had.”
Aire struck his fingers into my loose hair, bowed his head, and dragged his mouth back and forth over mine.
“You are not the only one out of your element. Mating roughly in the throes of anger had been uncharted for me. Yet Seasons help me, I would unleash with you like that again, if you wanted. None of the past relations I’ve had hold up to this.
No one has ever stirred my desires this way.
No one has extracted this unhinged side. ”
“No kinks or hard sex?” I rasped into his lips. “No games or public locations?”
The knight groaned. “None but with you. Though, I’m a trained knight. That makes me a quick learner.”
Of this, I had proof. Aire cleaved through my locks, his touch sprouting tingles across my scalp. “I’ve also never bedded someone I loved. For all that comes next, I’m just as afraid as you are.”
My heart pattered. “You said it first.”
“I did.” Aire dashed the second hand into my crimped layers. “And no, I don’t expect reciprocation. As much as I long to hear those three words, I don’t seek anything in return. It will not affect my love for you.”
Tears stung my hooded eyes. “I lied to you. I betrayed you.”
“I know what you’ve done.” The harsh lines of his face creased. “It pains me still, yet I love you.” We panted, hurt and desire mingling as our bodies pressed firmer. “I will remember it, yet I love you.” His lips dove to the edge of mine. “I fear it will crush me, yet I love you.”
A sob caught in my throat. “No more secrets.”
“No more. Only truth.”
“I’m so sorry, Aire.”
“And I forgive you.” His fractured hiss struck my mouth. “And I don’t want to lose you. And I would fucking die for you.”
Same. A thousand times over.
As he thumbed the moisture from my lower lashes, the weight of seven lying years dissipated, replacing guilt with heat.
With our heads angled together, I rested my palms on his coat and pushed, the material skidding off his frame.
Swallowing, Aire allowed me to strip off of the garment, a muscle leaping in his jaw as it dropped to the floor.
My stomach flopped as he reached for the robe’s sash next. And when he plucked the knot apart, my clit pulsed. He’d barely raised a finger, yet this gingerly action incited a maelstrom, heightening expectation like the most excruciating kind of tease.
The flaps spread. My covered breasts shoved into the view, the shadowed crests of my nipples poking through the fabric, and a shuddering noise fled Aire’s throat. He took his time, peeling off the robe, which cascaded down my arms.
With a gravely hum, Aire scooped up my hand. Turning his face into my palm, he cradled it like a relic, then kissed the inner skin.
The soft press of his mouth wracked me with tremors. “I don’t know how to make love.”
“I do.” Aire murmur into my life line. “While I cannot read you, I know you. That is far more potent than any sensory magic.” His lips sketched every nerve ending.
“I can draw out the exquisite torment until the sun rises. I can reach the intimate parts of you that no one has.” We panted as this knight drew his mouth over the pulse in my wrist. “I shall bring your body to life so that it feels eternal and endless, until no other sensation exists. Until your heart and your pussy feel the same infinite ecstasy.” Then he inched back, rasping, “Will you permit me? As you’ve taught me to fuck? ”
My own fingers skated over his jaw. “Yes.”
The blaze writhed across his face. The blue oracles of his eyes went up in flames.
With a loving growl, Aire hoisted me off the ground.