14
14
L ITTLE ALIEN, DO YOU know about something called frequency bias? Also known as the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, frequency bias is a cognitive bias, which is in turn a fancy phrase for a trick of the mind. It’s that thing when, after learning about something for the first time, you start to notice that this something is everywhere.
For instance, a person might learn what a word means and then, in the days and weeks that follow, this person might notice this word everywhere. And it works with other things too. For instance, a person might get a particular make of car, then start seeing this particular make of car everywhere they go.
When you first learn about the word ‘manuscript’, you start hearing people talk about manuscripts everywhere. In the school corridor, you overhear a teacher saying the word ‘manuscript’ to another teacher. Why? You have no idea. You didn’t hear the rest of their conversation. You just heard the word ‘manuscript’. Similarly, in the car on the way to a swimming lesson, you hear a man on the radio speaking about another manuscript. And walking through the town centre, you swear you hear a kid mention a manuscript too.
You perceive these instances as evidence of a sudden, generalised interest in manuscripts, and this strikes you as odd.
But you’re not sure if people are talking about the same manuscript as you. You’re not sure if they are referring to the one you learnt about on TV, the one whose language and script remain unknown, the one whose full name you can’t remember. The Something Manuscript. It is known as the Something Manuscript. You think. You don’t know. You can’t remember.
You wonder if you’ll ever get to see it. You want to see the Something Manuscript. You want to hold and feel it. It intrigues you. Intensely. Even if you don’t remember what it’s called. Even if you don’t know where it is. How to find it. How to have it. How to hold it. What it means. Maybe, one day, you’ll trip over and fall and you’ll find it just lying there. Maybe, one day, you’ll embrace criminality and steal it from an extra-secure bank vault buried underground.
You clear your throat.
The staff member at the front desk of the school library looks up. She has curly hair and so many freckles it is hard to see which part of her face is actually her face and which part of her face is freckle.
‘Hello,’ she says.
‘Hello,’ you say.
‘Is there something you want?’
You nod. ‘Do you have any manuscripts,’ you say, forgetting to make your sentence go up at the end to indicate that what you’re saying is a question.
‘Manuscripts?’ the woman says.
‘Yeah, like old books except they’re manuscripts.’
The woman cocks her head to one side, narrows her eyes. ‘Nope,’ she says with a curtness that borders on rudeness.
Your little chest deflates. ‘None at all?’
The woman looks you up and down. ‘This isn’t a proper library,’ she says. ‘This is a school library. We don’t have anything that interesting.’
You nod. ‘OK,’ you say. You try to hide your disappointment. You had to be brave to speak to this staff member at the front desk of the school library. Alas, it seems this bravery has not paid off.
The woman gets up from her chair, then goes to the nearest bookshelf. Here there are a large number of Mike and Mark books. You are very familiar with them. You read them all the time. Even though they’re too young and too easy for you now, your teachers still insist you still need to read them, that you’re not quite ready to spread your literary wings, that you’re still finding them difficult. i
The woman returns to the front desk. ‘So, we’ve got Mike and Mark’s Trip to the Moon ,’ she says, placing the pile of books before you. ‘And we’ve got Mike and Mark’s Trip to the Supermarket , Mike and Mark’s Trip to America . Mike and Mark’s Trip to France . But nothing old. Nothing interesting. Nothing famous.’
‘OK, then.’
‘Why do you ask?’
‘Why?’
‘Yeah, why are you interested in old books? I mean, what are you, like, eight?’
Hurt, you direct a scowl at the woman. You are most certainly not eight. ii ‘No reason,’ you say.
The woman frowns. ‘I feel that’s not true.’
You look outside. A few of your schoolmates are running riot on the concrete but most are just milling around.
You try the truth. ‘Well, I saw a documentary about a manuscript and a library and I wondered if every library had manuscripts or if it was just some libraries that had manuscripts.’
The woman nods. The truth may have worked. Her curiosity now seems sated.
‘Do some libraries have fancy kinds of manuscripts and books,’ you ask, again forgetting to make your voice go up at the end.
‘Sure.’
‘Which ones?’
The woman shrugs. ‘I don’t really know.’
‘Like maybe the one in town?’ you suggest, trying to be helpful.
The woman smiles. You don’t notice that her smile is not a nice smile. You just notice it is a smile. For good measure, you smile back.
‘The library in town?’ the woman says, still smiling.
‘Yeah.’
‘Sure,’ the woman says. ‘Sure, the town centre has loads of that stuff. They’ll sort you right out.’
At this moment, another staff librarian appears, basically from out of nowhere. She is a lot older than the woman with freckles. You have met her before. She always wears dangly earrings, has very few teeth, and speaks like she regularly reads the dictionary.
‘Now that’s a despicable attitude to have,’ the older librarian says. ‘This poor boy comes here to you with an enquiring mind and you tell him to go to town.’
The other woman blinks. ‘I think this is a gi—’
‘This is anathema to what we stand for,’ the older librarian says. ‘When we are presented with an enquiring mind, we attend to said enquiring mind with alacrity.’
The woman with freckles opens her mouth. ‘I—’
‘If a small boy or girl presents themselves to us with a mind enquiring about the nature and richness of our library, it is our job to elaborate, enlighten, engage,’ the older librarian continues. ‘These are the three e’s. The three e’s! Do they not teach you the three e’s any more?’
‘I just…’ the woman with freckles says. ‘But we don’t have any old manuscripts here. We barely have anything.’
The older librarian narrows her eyes at the woman with freckles. ‘We have four state-of-the-art computer machines.’
The older librarian allows her gaze to rest on you for a moment. A pause ensues. During this pause, you get the feeling she is trying to figure something out. Maybe she is trying to decide whether you are an alien or a human, or maybe just whether you are a girl or a boy. Your hair is short and, as you are still prepubescent, you have no childbearing hips or womanly curves. Your gender-based energy is also ambiguous. There is nothing rambunctiously boyish or carefully girly about you. You tread the line between nothing and neither.
After a moment of reflection, the older librarian comes over to you and wraps one arm around you. Unsure of what to do with your own arms, you leave them dangling, then sort of wrap them around her stomach. Her belly is big and soft.
‘I will help you,’ the older librarian tells you. ‘You’re interested in books?’
‘Yes,’ you say.
‘Old books?
‘Yes.’
‘Old books about what, darling?’
‘Old books about words and languages that are old. And manuscripts.’
The older librarian nods solemnly, then snaps her fingers at the woman with freckles. ‘Fetch this child an appropriate book.’
‘Which one?’ the woman asks. ‘We literally have nothing here. That’s my point.’
‘Figuratively. You mean we figuratively have nothing here,’ the older librarian says. iii ‘But actually, we do. I don’t know how many times I have to explain this. We really, really do.’
The woman nods, then disappears. Many minutes later, she reappears to hand you a Mike and Mark book titled Mike and Mark Visit a Group of Early Humans .
The older librarian nods. ‘See,’ she says to the woman with freckles. ‘What did I say?’ The older librarian peers at Mike and Mark Visit a Group of Early Humans .
‘Do we get, like, proper books here?’ you ask.
The older librarian frowns. ‘What do you mean proper books?’
‘Like, books that aren’t Mike and Mark books. Like normal books.’
The older librarian looks profoundly confused. ‘Why would you want to read anything other than a Mike and Mark book?’
You shrug. ‘I don’t know.’
‘This is a special edition Mike and Mark book anyway. It’s very advanced. You’ll be engaged, I’m sure.’
You glance sceptically at Mike and Mark Visit a Group of Early Humans , before dutifully checking it out, and shoving it in your bag. Outside, the bell rings and masses of youths start to swarm their way back to class.
There is a pause. During this pause, you aren’t sure if you should still be hanging around. Or if you have permission – nay, an obligation – to leave.
‘Are you all right?’ the older librarian asks you suddenly.
Startled, you say yes.
‘Yes,’ you say.
‘Very good,’ the older librarian says.
‘Very good,’ the woman with freckles also says.
‘Very good,’ you say.
Further reading:
Mike and Mark’s Trip to the Supermarket
Mike and Mark’s Trip to America
Mike and Mark’s Trip to France
Footnotes
i This is false. You read more advanced tomes at home. At home, you read proper books. Often, these are the books your mum also reads – that’s how good you are at reading.
ii You are twelve. If you were eight, you would not be at this particular school as this particular school does not cater to eight-year-olds.
iii If this older librarian had read the dictionary more carefully, she would have noticed that one of the definitions of ‘literally’ is ‘in effect’ or ‘virtually’. Why? Dictionaries are descriptive, not prescriptive. They describe how words are actually used. They don’t give out opinions on how words should be used.