20
20
Y OUR MUM IS GOING a bit loopy again. At least, that’s what your dad says as he makes you dinner. She had to make a quick trip to the emergency department. It’s nothing serious though, you needn’t worry, needn’t think about it very much at all. He’s just telling you this so you are in the loop, so to speak, but please do excuse the pun.
‘Do you know what that means?’ he asks.
You nod because, yes, you know what ‘loopy’ means, and you can guess that ‘in the loop’ means ‘in the know’ but maybe also ‘loopy’.
‘What do you say?’ your dad says, scooping the beans onto your toast and plonking the egg atop the lot.
‘Yes,’ you say.
‘Very good. So, we’ve got to be kind to her, OK?’
‘OK.’
‘When she comes back, don’t make a massive fuss. Just be kind.’
‘OK.’
‘Just be normal.’
‘OK.’
The next morning, your mum comes home in a taxi cab, walks in through the front door. When she does, she kisses your dad on the lips and you on the cheek. She then accepts your dad’s offer of a cup of tea, sits down on the sofa, turns the TV on. She lets you sit next to her. You watch the TV but also her.
You wonder what happened to her specifically, what provoked the quick trip to the emergency department. Not much, you suppose. It wasn’t a very long stay – not even twenty-four hours. You wonder if she even got to sleep there. She seems very tired, can barely keep her eyes open.
The TV show is a documentary set in a hospital. In the hospital, there is a small child with a high fever. Next to the child is an old lady. The old lady is the boy’s grandma. She looks after the kid because his parents died. You wonder if it’s appropriate viewing. You wonder if a cop show might be better. Your mum doesn’t seem disturbed. She doesn’t seem anything other than blank.
After a while, she rests her head on the cushion and sleeps. You fetch a blanket, put it on her lap so she doesn’t get cold. When you do this, she startles back awake. You are worried she is going to admonish you, but she doesn’t. Instead, she emits a grunt of thanks, curls up more formally, and falls back asleep.
You don’t know what to do now, how to be kind and normal when she is asleep. Eventually, you absent yourself to the garden. The sky is slate grey but the air temperature is warm. You can hear more than one neighbour mowing their lawn, and more than one kid shouting and making noise. It’s not an angry kind of shouting. It’s the kind of shouting kids do when they get carried away.
You peer through the double doors into the living room. Your mum is still asleep. You wonder if your mum’s fatigue is down to her loopiness, or the fact that she didn’t sleep. Maybe it’s the weather. It really is a sleepy day. Even the bees seem heavy.
Further reading:
Loopy Loops: A History of Cursive
Loop the Loop: A History of Roller Coasters