3. Aidan
AIDAN
“Kitchen duty again?” someone asked, and I looked up to see Carter coming in, Maverick close on his heels.
One of those two was easier to read than the other, and yet they were frequently seen together.
It was a lot like Reno and Jake, actually, but Mav seemed more inclined to keep Carter’s more obnoxious traits under wraps.
Reno and Jake had a weird symbiotic relationship where Reno mellowed Jake, but Jake brought the daredevil brat out of Reno.
“Well, there’s only a few things I’ve been posting,” I told him, nodding at Mav who stared at me before nodding. He wasn’t much of a talker, and he looked mean as hell sometimes, but he wasn’t antagonistic. Our boss was more antagonistic.
“You mean you’ve been allowed to post,” Carter said knowingly, opening the fridge door and grabbing beers, handing one to me.
I eyed the beer, wondering when I would get the chance to stock something that didn’t make me understand what piss tasted like. “I’m not saying nothin’ about anything.”
Carter snorted. “Don’t worry. Everyone knows Xander is—”
“An ass,” Mav said, drinking from the bottle and watching what I was doing.
Carter jabbed his thumb over his shoulder.
“That. And he was never shy about being grumpy that some internet dude was showing up. Don’t take it to heart.
He’s just grumpy and stubborn. And thinks the internet is for emails and porn.
I wonder if someone should introduce him to internet dating. What do you think, Mav?”
“Probably not,” Mav said, with a shake of his head. “He has his divorce going on right now.”
“Oh, right,” Carter said, tapping his jaw. “Still, maybe we could get Colin to feed him the idea at some point. He does a pretty good job handling him…no one tell him I said that.”
“I’ll consider keeping it to myself,” I said with a snort, but it was the amused look on Mav’s face at Carter’s suggestion that had my attention. “Something on your mind?”
“All sorts,” Mav said, giving me a mischievous look.
Carter side-eyed him. “You thinkin’ those weird thinks again, bud?”
“Always,” Mav said, and frowned. “I need a shower.”
“Not a bad idea. We’ve been busy all day and I’m sweaty as hell,” Carter said, looking himself over and frowning. “I probably stink.”
“Probably,” Mav said, his eyes staring into the back of Carter’s head. “Your shirt is soaked.”
“I mean, it’s been raining,” I pointed out. “Doesn’t have to be sweat.”
“Yeah, well, now I can feel how much my shirt is sticking to me and it’s driving me bonkers,” he grumbled, and I watched in amusement as he set his beer down to wriggle out of his shirt.
I would have challenged anyone with a reasonably active sex drive not to find their eyes magnetically pulled to the sight.
It was not meant to be a strip show or an attempt to get attention, but he was silently getting my attention anyway.
There wasn’t one person on the crew even remotely out of shape, and Carter’s big ass was no exception.
My eyes swept over the flat stomach, the dip in his hips, and yes, even the curling hairs that were so dark blond they were practically brunet.
And then I saw Mav looking at me knowingly with a sheepish look.
I turned my attention back to the food I had been pulling out for dinner.
Carter had his beer, and when I glanced back up, I kept my eyes where they wouldn’t be mistaken for lecherous.
Mav was still watching me, though, and looked like he was silently laughing, which I took as a sign that no one cared that I was gay.
And apparently some of them didn’t care if they busted me looking when male skin was on display…
though after Jake had caught me a couple of times, I suspected he was a straight man who just liked any sort of attention.
“Oh, another free strip show? And it’s not Jake this time,” I heard from behind them, as if reading my thoughts. I stiffened slightly as I caught sight of Reno and Mika looking amused.
It was funny how I had been so intent on telling the difference between the brothers at the beginning.
In the past two weeks, though, I had figured it out despite Mika and me keeping our distance and not spending much time with Reno.
I could tell them apart almost at a glance, though Reno kept his hair a little shaggy and Mika’s hair was as neatly cropped as ever.
It didn’t hurt that Reno had dirt on him from his work and, usually, Mika was dirt-free.
But I would swear it was more than that, even at a glance; I could tell the difference.
Even though both looked amused, they looked different despite the almost identical expression.
Then again, there was the telltale sign of the way Mika’s eyes darted to me, darted away and then darted back again, whereas Reno’s just lingered on me for a moment before turning to someone else.
Ugh.
“Oh, neat, you’re cooking again,” Reno said, and when I shot him a questioning look, he shrugged. “You’re one of the better cooks here.”
“Thank you,” I said, taken aback, but telling myself to accept the compliment and move on.
He shrugged. “So why are we stripping? Lose a round of poker?”
“Shirt sticky,” Carter explained, and if anyone else thought his caveman speech was odd, they didn’t bat an eye to betray their thoughts. “Gonna take a shower, actually.”
Reno glanced at me. “Huh, that’s a good idea. I’m pretty dirty. You going too, Mav?”
Mav nodded, and I wasn’t all that surprised when he didn’t add any words.
There were plenty of people who could be described as men of few words.
Trevor was like that, but Mav was like…the epitome of that description.
If he could use as few words as possible, he would, and if he could express himself with a look or a gesture, that was even better.
Whereas I knew I was like the rest of this group, who all had a hard time shutting the hell up.
“Yeah, let’s get moving. I’m on call tonight, so I want to chill if I get the chance, just in case,” Carter said and turned, bumping between the twins and going into the hallway. “When’s food?”
“When it’s served,” I called back, and I swore I heard him mutter ‘another smartass, great’ as he went down the hallway. Mav snagged the wet shirt from the counter, and I shot him a look of thanks as he too disappeared.
“Ooh, wait for me!” Reno called, giving me a wave before disappearing out of sight.
It was then I realized the three of them had left me alone with Mika.
Two of the three, I suspect, hadn’t done it on purpose; Reno was to blame.
Reno had been good about talking to me and avoiding any mention of his brother and me, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think he wasn’t thinking about it frequently.
“I see you two share your lack of subtlety,” I said with a shake of my head, turning back to the food, snatching up the onion and pulling out the knife and cutting board.
“I…told him if he had the chance to leave me alone with you to give it to me,” he said as he took a beer out of the fridge and I smirked when he sighed at the label before opening it and moving away from where I was cooking to sit down at the counter behind me.
And that…well, that was a lot like him. Mika could be insanely stubborn about speaking his mind, but when he did, he went for the blunt approach.
I tried not to notice that he was on the dining side and then tried not to feel hurt that he was putting distance and a physical object between us. “Something wrong?”
“You’re really going to ask that after the past two weeks?” he wondered.
I sliced the onion, putting the peel into a bowl to toss. “I thought we were doing quite well.”
“Did you?” he asked, and though he sounded doubtful, I heard something else in his voice, as if my comment bothered him.
I thought about the way we’d been avoiding one another. Even when we were around one another, we tried not to talk. And how, even when we talked, we barely sounded normal, and got funny looks from the rest. “No, I guess not. It’s been weird as fuck and I hate it if I’m honest.”
“Well, I think both of us actually being honest with each other would do us some good,” he said.
Anger twisted in my gut. “That’s bold coming from you. Really?”
There was a pause. “I’m going to say this to make a point, not to start a fight…because I’m not fighting with you.”
I sucked in a breath. “Say it so I can figure out if you’re getting an onion thrown at your head.”
“I ended things poorly, and I kept things from you; I’m not pretending otherwise. But don’t act like you didn’t keep your own secrets and didn’t lie to me,” he said softly.
The anger flared, burning hotter as I couldn’t help but remember the day he’d ended things, and the days that followed.
It had been a letter, left on my bed; that was how he had done it.
My calls had gone to voicemail, and when I went to his apartment, I found out he had moved.
I had already decided not to pick up the next semester in the upcoming fall season, and while I spent some of the remaining time I had left in Port Dale to try to talk to him, I always just missed him.
He had ended things without a word, and I never spoke to him again until two weeks ago.
And then…I remembered how I promised him and never followed through.
Like when I promised I would dial back my drinking because he hated alcohol because of his mother.
Only for me to keep it out of sight. And when confronted, I evaded, I deflected, I minimized, I would even sometimes lie.
It wasn’t just the booze; it was also some friends I was keeping, and it was… it was the sex.