Chapter 17
Ifeel like a teenager again as I run up the stairs to find Sol—heart racing, cheeks hurting from how wide I’m smiling, body electric with need. That is, until I get to the top of the stairs and a cloud of dread pours down upon me.
Worry brims in Sol’s eyes, ready to spill over.
“What happened?” I rush to her, searching for any sign of injury in a quick assessment. My stomach lurches when she holds up a flash drive.
“Where did you get that?”
“I think I’m the one who should be asking questions.
What the hell were you thinking?” Her anger and disappointment are the product of a fear I understand too well.
“And to think, you were the one demanding answers from me.” One palm presses against my chest, but the other cups my cheek, her thumb stroking the long scar there.
“What were you doing? How could you open yourself up like that when you have no idea what’s out there? ”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I know exactly what’s out there,” I huff with frustration. “All I cared about was finding him, making him pay.”
“You could have gotten yourself killed.” Her hand balls into a fist, nails digging into the black fabric of my shirt.
“I’m still here.” I stroke her hair while my arm wraps around her waist and pulls her against my chest. “I’m not going anywhere. You never have to worry about that.”
“I want to believe that, but hope has stabbed a knife in my back for the last time.” She pulls away, revealing a slight dampness on my shirt. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I would do anything to get you back.”
She shakes her head at me and turns on her heel, making a beeline for my office. Of course, I follow. Without hesitation, she sits her beautiful ass in my chair, gets comfortable, and steeples her fingers. Her intent is clear: she wants to know every dark and difficult detail.
I would never deny her. Sol is strong; she can handle the grim reality even if she doesn’t like it. After all, she’s the one who left me to my own devices. What’s a desperate man to do?
Instead of taking a seat like she expects me to, I stride over to the bar cart in the corner and pour us glasses of water from the crystal decanter. Drinking mine quickly, I buy myself a few more seconds to organize my thoughts.
“How many videos did you watch?” I ask as I reach around her and set her glass on the desk.
“Enough to know that you’ve become much more familiar with the ways of the dead than when we were together.”
Her words are an electric shock that elicits an instant response.
“We’ve always been together. Always will be.
” Leaning down, I capture her jaw with precise care, my thumb coaxing a soothing trail along her neck while she stares up at me.
“Whatever has happened in the years we’ve been separated, I don’t care.
But don’t think for one second that there was or will be a single moment in our lives and beyond that you won’t be mine. We are inevitable, My Omen.”
Sol’s lips part on a breathy inhale, the lack of an argument from her is a relief. I continue the calming strokes as I hold her eye contact. Sometimes understanding her on a cellular level isn’t enough; sometimes I wish I could slip inside her mind and read her every thought.
I want to hear the fears that are slinking serpents, preventing her from fully embracing hope.
I wish I could stroke a reassuring hand along the thorny thoughts that have her all tangled up, unable to see a way forward where we’re happy again.
But I can’t do any of those things. So I’ll have to show her through my actions and words of affirmation that she doesn’t need to be afraid to love me anymore. It’s in her nature. We’re two halves of the same whole, incapable of fully functioning separately.
“What do you want to know, my love? I’ll tell you anything to keep you from pulling away from me again.”
Looking up at me, she strokes the other scar that runs through my top lip. “Is this what you’ve been up to?” Sol lets out a long sigh. “Letting yourself be used as a conduit?”
“I wouldn’t say letting. I chose to do it, with the sole interest of figuring out how to bring us back together.
” For a moment, it’s as if my skin doesn’t fit right, like all of those I’ve channeled within me have stretched it out somehow, but with a roll of my shoulders, everything shifts back into place.
“I won’t lie and say that I was never reckless, that I didn’t almost go too far.
But over the years, I’ve learned how to control it, how to be more accurate with who I let in and when. ”
Sol’s thoughts are almost audible as she files away bits and pieces of information, sorts through the most important details. “Does it work both ways? She drops her hand. “Can you…” Her brow furrows, her eyes search mine for something she doesn’t want to believe is possible.
“Possess people? Yes.”
“That shouldn’t be possible. How is that possible?” Skepticism laces her voice, the sharp edges of it prickling a challenge within me. If she needs to see it to believe it, I can certainly make that happen.
“Why don’t I just show you?”
“You mean?” Her teeth latch onto her lip as she processes my suggestion.
“Yes.” My breath hitches with excitement at the idea of exploring her in a new way, claiming another part of her. “I could possess you without you even knowing, but I won’t do it unless I have your consent.”
“Have you done that to other people?” she gasps.
“Would that bother you?” I lean back, resting my foot on the edge of the desk.
“What if I told you that I’ve slipped inside one of your little distractions?
” The hitch of her breath and flush of her chest spur me on.
“That I fucked you while trapped in the body of another man.” She licks her lips, summoning the last truth from me.
“That I’m the one who can pleasure you best, no matter the barriers that try to keep us apart.
That not even flesh can stand between us. ”
Need tingles along my spine as I contemplate how good it would feel to slip my dick between those parted lips that remain open in shock at my revelation.
I fill the silence. “Oh, yes, Sol. Never doubt my commitment to you. I’ve shapeshifted and defied my own morals just to be with you when the opportunity arose. Allowed you to look into the eyes of another man while it was my mind directing every thrust and every touch.”
“And how was it?”
“Torture and relief. Agony and ecstasy. A miracle and a fucking curse…but better than not having you at all.”
Her harsh swallow is a statement in and of itself as she watches me closely.
“Do it. Possess me.” It’s a command as much as a plea.
“What? You want me to touch that pretty pussy with you? Make you come on your own fingers?”
She nods. and stands from her chair. “I want to feel you inside me in every way.”
“Every bit of your pleasure, every spark of need will belong to me. By me, for me.”
“I want that.” One knee is on the desk. Next is the other.
Her palms crumple the papers I have in neat piles.
I don’t give a damn right now. If she shreds them apart as she convulses with uncontrollable ecstasy, I won’t care.
All that time spent taking notes, all that research—I blame my dad for that; always taking pen to paper instead of storing things digitally, he said that writing things down made them more real.
But what does it matter? Who cares if that information is lost in the ether when it’s her and she’s here and she’s asking me to make her mine in one more way that I might never have imagined possible.
“Thorne, did you hear me?” Her lips are on mine, like she can control me with something as simple as a kiss. To be clear, she can. With a bat of her lashes, with a crook of her finger, with a shift in her body language, she could summon me and bend me to her will.
But right now, that control is mine to wield. “Lie back then.” She does, and I stand. My hands rest on each side of her hips. “If I possess you, every errant thought, every inch of you, inside and out, will be mine for the taking.”
Behind the desire, there’s a flash of panic, but it goes as quickly as it came.
“Do it.” It’s almost a groan, almost like this is what she’s always wanted, for me to take ownership of every last bit of her.
“If I do this…” I have to grip the edge of the desk to keep myself grounded. I’m so eager to act, but I still need more from her. I want it, I’m greedy for her unapologetic, unrestrained lust. “If I do this, there won’t be any barriers left between us. I’ll become a part of you.”
“Okay.” Her consent is a breathy, wanton thing that’s almost too sweet.
“I should warn you, it can be a bit claustrophobic.”
She shakes her head. “Good. There’s a piece of me missing, you’ll just fill it.”
My heart pounds at her acceptance. Not just because I’m a horny motherfucker who could never get enough of pleasuring her, but because she isn’t afraid of it, isn’t repulsed by it. Like it’s a natural evolution of our relationship.
“Please, don’t keep me waiting any longer.” Her fingers are nearly white from how tightly she clenches her fists.