Chapter 30
“Holy shit, you actually kidnapped someone for real this time,” Jayden says as Hawthorne throws open the door to reveal the man cuffed to the chair.
I’m both relieved it didn’t take Jayden long to get here, and regretful that I didn’t have more time to prepare myself. What the hell are we doing? But as the man sets his eyes on me, I know there’s no going back. We’re in way too deep.
He mumbles something around the gag that Hawthorne’s put on him. I’m not interested in what he has to say, though. What he had planned is unforgivable. He won’t find any sympathy from me. Better for all of us to keep him quiet and get it over with.
Before coming in, we’d discussed the plan twice over. We all know our roles. Still, a pit opens in my stomach, nerves and apprehension burning a hole through it.
Seemingly at ease, Hawthorne pulls out his phone with the spell his friend provided and hands it to me.
“When I tell you to, read this.” I nod. “You have to mean it,” he adds on.
It’s an easy enough task considering what they have to do, but I still imagine all the ways it can go wrong. Hawthorne hands me some candles to set up as he prepares for the summoning, a distraction I’m grateful for.
“Jay, are you sure you want to be here for this?” Hawthorne asks him as he finishes pouring the salt.
“Yes, I’m sure. I need to see his face when he realizes he won’t be able to do that shit to anyone else again. I want to see for myself that he’s not capable of escaping.” He puts on a brave face, but I don’t miss the dark circles around his eyes or the tension in his shoulders.
I’m grateful I’ve never been possessed by anyone but Hawthorne. I can’t imagine how violating that must be to have someone else wearing your skin, pushing you out of your own mind. That’s quite literally the worst thing I can imagine. I’m eager to apologize, but I know now is not the time.
Once the candles are lit, we all get into position. Hawthorne and our sacrifice—I cringe internally at myself and how quickly I’ve come around to thinking of him that way—in the circle, me safely outside it, while Jayden waits behind the double-sided glass.
“Are you ready?” Hawthorne asks as I hand him the knife that he stows in the holster he’s tucked into his pants.
I am and I’m not, but I nod my confirmation anyway. For the millionth time, I find myself trying to embody Thorne’s collected and confident demeanor, but on the inside, I’m a mess of emotions.
Of course, I want Ivan gone. Of course, I don’t want him to be able to harm anyone else.
But I can’t help myself from what my mother would call catastrophizing, but really, is me recognizing patterns of risk and danger and playing out all of the possibilities—even the least likely.
I didn’t ask to be like this, and I hate when I’m proven right, but I can’t say it’s never proven useful.
It allows me to decide now what I’ll do in the worst-case scenario—hopefully it won’t come to that.
“Sol?” he says, like he’s been calling my name for some time.
“Sorry. What were you saying?”
“I love you.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, his knuckles caressing the floral tattoo on my cheek. “No matter what happens, never forget that.”
“I love you too, but why are you making this sound like a goodbye?” Despite myself, my throat tightens and my eyes well with tears.
“I’m not. Everything is going to be fine.” His words are sincere as he strokes my cheek once more.
“Promise me you won’t put your life on the line.” He kisses me, pointedly avoiding a committal answer. I guess I’d rather that than he make a false promise, but it still doesn’t sit well with me.
Stepping back into the circle, Hawthorne closes his eyes and begins mumbling under his breath, pointedly ignoring the man squirming and protesting next to him.
“Solaneen, when I say ‘now’, I need you to possess me.”
“What?” I couldn’t have heard him right.
“You need to possess me when I give you the go-ahead.”
“No. Wait. We never talked about this,” I stumble over my words, panic seizing me and making it difficult to turn my thoughts into words. “This was not part of the plan.”
He says nothing.
“I don’t even know how.”
“It’ll come naturally, you’ll see. Just think about wanting to be inside my body. Clear your mind and mean it, and you’ll see,” he says all of this casually like it’s not an absolutely absurd request.
“Hawthorne, I can’t do this.”
“You have to.”
If I was nervous before, I’m practically in shambles now. But there’s no time to panic as Ivan materializes within the circle.
For several seconds, he just stares, his eyes boring into me. Straightening my shoulders, I hold my ground and his gaze. His lips twitch, tightening into a scowl, but he doesn’t address me directly. Instead, he turns his attention to Hawthorne.
“All of this for me?” Ivan shakes his head. “You really shouldn’t have.”
“It’s the least we could do. It’s your goodbye party after all.” Thorne steps closer to the entity as if he doesn’t have a fear in the world.
“This again? Have you learned nothing?” Ivan laughs in disbelief.
“It’s funny you ask, because I actually have learned some interesting facts about you recently.”
Ivan smiles and motions for Hawthorne to continue. He almost seems bored. Meanwhile, I’m tapping my fingers a million miles a minute and ready to combust from the inside. This was not part of the plan. What the hell is he thinking?
“Apparently, you had a little hobby—a passion, if you will—when you were alive, that unfortunately for you came to an abrupt end. What if I were willing to make you a deal that would give you the freedom to pick it back up again?”
“And what would that be?”
Hawthorne motions toward the restrained man, helplessly watching this all unfold. “This is your ticket back to a life of your own.”
“Meaning?”
“You take control of his body, and you get to walk out of here with a new lease on life.”
“Why would I leave when I finally have what I’ve spent years waiting for?” The way Ivan speaks of me as an object, a prize to be won, is infuriating, but I bite my tongue, hoping that Hawthorne can spin this into an offer he can’t refuse.
“As long as I’m alive, you will never have her.
No matter what you do, I will always have more of a hold over her,” Hawthorne states matter-of-factly.
“But with this opportunity, you could change your circumstances. Why settle for one—because let’s face it, it’s not like you had many options—when you could take as many lives as you want? ”
“You think you’ve got a pretty good read on me, don’t you?
But you know what they say about assumptions.
” He turns toward me. “Sol isn’t like anyone else I’ve ever met before.
She’s special, something coveted. I can’t simply replace her with others.
” His words slither over my skin, tongues flicking obscenely as I try to push them away.
“What’s the point of chasing something coveted if it’ll never truly be yours?” Hawthorne picks at his shortcomings.
“I could ask you the same thing? But who says I’m chasing?
” Ivan challenges, giving Thorne a taste of his own medicine.
“What was it that the last medium said?” His smile turns my stomach as he steps closer to the line of salt that contains him.
“That you entered into this relationship willingly, right? So, wouldn’t it be a logical conclusion that you also play an active role in this?
If you truly wanted me gone, wouldn’t I be? After everything you’ve done?”
“You’re twisting her words,” I grit out.
“Am I? Or are you still in denial?”
For a moment, I question myself, allowing that heavy burden of blame to climb back onto my shoulders. But I’m not willing to accept that anymore. Like Hawthorne said, I’m the victim. He’s just a desperate predator who’s failing to keep his claws in me.
“No. You don’t get to do that anymore.” I step closer to the circle, wanting him to see clearly that he’s completely lost control of me.
“Does it scare you that I understand you better than anyone, Little Dove? Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, I give you purpose.” He turns back to Hawthorne.
“You should be thanking me, really. Do you think this would have worked for as long as it has if you didn’t have something bringing you together?
If it weren’t for me, you’d probably be like all those other high-school hopefuls who have big plans but fizzle out. ”
“Why are we wasting our time with this conversation when we both know how much you crave the kill?” Hawthorne asks with exasperation.
“You walk out of here in this body, and the possibilities are endless. You’d never have to worry about the consequences; just move from one body to the next. You could practically be immortal.”
Ivan isn’t listening to Hawthorne anymore; his gaze is fixed on mine, searching, prying for the answers he seeks. I don’t dare move, trying to clear my mind so there’s nothing there for him to read.
“No,” he utters it quietly, just for me at first. “No, I don’t think so.”
“What do you mean, no?” Hawthorne’s hatred overrides his control for a split second before he wrangles it in. “How about this, you get free use of my body—”
“Thorne, no.”
“You get free use of my body in exchange for leaving and never coming back.” He holds out his hand. Ivan stares at it like it’s a foreign object.
For someone who loves the sound of his own voice, it seems he’s been stunned into silence.
“You love her that much? After everything?” he finally says.
“I would do anything for her.”
“Anything?”
“Anything,” Hawthorne repeats, determination glimmering in his eyes.
Ivan looks between us, the gears turning inside his head as he contemplates his options. “Okay. You have a deal.” The words are barely out of his mouth before he’s lunging for Hawthorne’s hand.
“Now!” Thorne shouts at the same time, and all I can think about is getting into Hawthorne’s body before Ivan does.