Chapter Nine Sunny
Chapter Nine
Sunny
Mrs. Ha claps a hand over her mouth to silence her sob, and Minju’s hand tightens around mine until my bones creak in protest. I hold back a wince with gargantuan effort, but after five long seconds, I squirm in pain.
“What is the moonglade?” Captain Seo asks warily.
Thankfully, Minju drops my hand and answers, “Every year on Hangawi, when the harvest moon hangs low in the sky, a silver road appears in the ocean.”
“Isn’t that just an elongated reflection of the moon?” I flex my hand to make sure none of my fingers are broken.
Mr. Ha smiles at my question. “On any other day, yes.”
“But it becomes more than that on Hangawi.” Minju wanders away from us to pace the length of the small restaurant. “When people all around Korea celebrate under the brightest full moon of the year, their joy and gratitude imbue the moon’s reflection with more power.”
“What kind of power?” I try to wrap my head around a magic road in the ocean.
I am a being of the Shingae. Magic isn’t new to me. But some of the things I’ve had to come to terms with these last few months have been wild, even for me.
“The moon’s reflection becomes real . . . in a way.” She stops pacing to search for words. “It solidifies into a silver road for beings of the Shingae.”
“Where does it lead?” Icy dread tickles down my spine. I have a feeling I know the answer.
“To the Realm of Four Kingdoms.” Minju resumes pacing.
But why do we need to walk the moonglade to get back to the realm? A faint moan slips past my lips because I know the answer to that as well.
“Why have I never heard of this?” The captain shakes her head, her mouth slightly agape.
“It is an ancient magic, forgotten by many.” Mr. Ha sighs wistfully, as though saddened by the loss of any knowledge.
“And also, because no one dares to walk the silver road,” Minju adds.
I cinch my lips together. I don’t want to know.
But Captain Seo opens her big mouth. “Why is that?”
“We don’t know.” The historian cringes. “There are no recorded accounts of anyone who survived the walk across the moonglade.”
Damn it all to fucking hell.
“So those are our options,” the captain says grimly. “Fight our way past the Amheuk to enter the Realm of Four Kingdoms. Or walk across the moonglade, which no one has ever survived?”
A high-pitched ringing pierces my ears, and I clasp the sides of my head.
“Please, daughter.” Rushing to her side, Mrs. Ha grabs both of Minju’s hands. “This is suicide. Give us time. Your father and I will think of another way.”
“Time is the one thing I cannot give you.” Minju pulls her mother into a hug. “Besides, just because no one ever made it across does not mean we won’t.”
“She’s right, yeobo.” Mr. Ha wraps his arms around both females, heartbreak and hope warring on his face. “They have better odds of making it across the moonglade than getting past the Amheuk.”
The walls I’ve built around my mind shatter, and my knees buckle. I reach for a chair at my side and try to sink into it, but I miss the seat and fall on my ass, bringing the chair crashing down with me.
Some things I’d forgotten in the endless struggle to stay alive. While others I’d deliberately pushed to the back of my mind because it was . . . too much. But there is no more hiding from the shitstorm I set in motion.
It’s all my fault.
“Sunny.” Captain Seo reaches my side in a split second. “What’s wrong?”
Minju grasps my arm from the other side. “Are you okay?”
“Is the Amheuk still hovering at the entrance to the Realm of Four Kingdoms?” I ask in a trembling voice, as my friends help me to my feet.
“Yes, it is.” The historian absently turns me around and dusts off my ass. I’m not a toddler, but I’m too wrecked to protest.
“I made it into the Mortal Realm seconds before the Amheuk reached the entrance.” The captain shudders. “I flew faster than I’d ever flown to get away from it and landed way off base. But even from gods know where, I could see it coiled in the sky beneath the Realm of Four Kingdoms.”
“That’s why we can only return to the realm by walking the moonglade.” I glance between Minju and her father for confirmation.
“I’m afraid so,” Mr. Ha says. “There is no other way.”
“But what is the Amheuk waiting for?” This time I look behind me to make sure I don’t miss the chair and sit down before my legs give out. “Why hasn’t it invaded the Realm of Four Kingdoms yet?”
“Our best deduction is that it is recuperating,” Mr. Ha answers. “We don’t know how it escaped from its prison beyond the abyss, but it must have depleted its powers doing so.”
“Ah.” I nod and . . . nod.
“The Amheuk is not without limits.” Captain Seo holds my gaze. “That means it can be destroyed.”
I stop nodding because I’m getting dizzy. I do my best to pull myself together and ask, “How long do we have?”
We? Why do I keep saying we?
“There is no way of knowing.” Frustration laces Minju’s words. She hates not knowing the answer. “But I think it’s safe to assume that we don’t have much longer.”
“Then we better get on with it and walk the moonglade,” I mutter. “Whatever the hell that means.”
There I go with the we again.
My knees bounce haphazardly like drops of water on a sizzling pan. I thought I wanted to stay the hell away from all of this. But how can I turn my back on the Realm of Four Kingdoms when I put it in danger?
I can’t run from this anymore. I destroyed the Gray Void. I flinch at the thought, but I grit my teeth and face the stark truth. I didn’t understand it at the time. I was only trying to survive the Gray Void as it tried to annihilate the dark magic from the ancient rune on my back.
I would have died, but the light of the Yeoiju saved me from being torn in half by the dark magic and the Gray Void.
Even though I didn’t know how to wield the Yeoiju yet, it eradicated the word of power from my body.
But somehow, the white light also destroyed the Gray Void, the only thing that stood between the realm and the endless dark.
I am responsible for the destruction of the Gray Void. I signed the death warrant for everyone I hold dear within it.
My knees stop bouncing, but my insides continue quaking.
I wrap my arms around my midriff, resisting the urge to rock back and forth on the chair.
I can’t regret freeing the stranded from their prison.
But was it worth endangering the lives of everyone I care about?
I don’t know. I’m glad I didn’t have to make a conscious decision in that moment.
But those stranded souls . . . There were so many of them, all of them suffering. Why were they trapped in the Gray Void in the first place? I shake my head. It doesn’t matter. I know in my gut I did the right thing. Now I just need to clean up the mess I created.
Too bad I have no idea how.
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip and tighten my arms around my stomach. Whatever darkness lies within me, I also bear the light of the Yeoiju. It stayed with me even though I am the literal spawn of the devil. And it didn’t leave me when I bewitched and killed said devil.
I don’t believe the Yeoiju stayed with me because I’m deserving of its light. Maybe it didn’t abandon me because I have some uses left. I am not worthy of Ethan—the pain hits me like a rib-shattering punch—and I’m not worthy of my friends.
But . . . what if I can still protect them?
It won’t change who I am. That doesn’t matter. Besides, it might be better that I’m no good because now I can do anything to keep them safe. Since I can never deserve them, nothing will hold me back from playing dirty. Yet something inside me recoils from the thought.
As my panic recedes bit by bit, I notice the somber silence in the restaurant, each of us lost in our thoughts.
“It’s time.” Mr. Ha sighs, looking out the window at the moonlit night.
“I . . . Please give me five minutes,” Captain Seo blurts and hurries out of the restaurant with a fleeting glance my way.
She’s sending a message to Ethan.
I jump to my feet and chase after the captain.
I catch up to her just as she reaches the beach.
She takes out the copper bowl from her dungarees and walks to the edge of the water.
She returns to my side with the bowl halfway filled, then kneels on the sand.
I wordlessly drop to my knees beside her.
Captain Seo gathers a small mound of sand in her palm and pours it into the bowl.
Then she positions the bowl of water and sand in front of her so it catches the full moon on its surface.
She pulls out a rumpled square of paper along with a stubby pencil.
I make out the word casino etched on the side of the pencil, but her fingers hide which one she nabbed it from.
“What are you going to say?” The soft breeze carries away my whisper.
Why am I setting myself up for heartbreak?
“Very little.” The captain sighs and glances at me with eyes full of sympathy. “Like I said, communicating between the realms is difficult and unreliable. Anything more than a few words will become jumbled, making the whole message incomprehensible.”
I can only nod, because my pounding heart is lodged in my throat. Captain Seo smooths out the small piece of paper on her thigh and writes carefully on it so the pencil doesn’t rip through the paper. I don’t look away even as tears sting my eyes.
Found Sunny. Coming back.
“I can’t go back to the Kingdom of Mountains,” I choke out.
“I know. Minju told me. I meant we’re coming back to the Realm of Four Kingdoms.” She lays the piece of paper on top of her palm. “We will explain everything to him once we get there.”
I’m not sure I want to explain any of it, but I keep that to myself—as well as the fact that I can’t decide whether to go to the Realm of Four Kingdoms with them or not. I have no idea what I’m going to do.
The captain closes her eyes and speaks an incantation under her breath.
The note levitates off her palm and floats over the bowl.
She continues the soft chant until the paper combusts in a burst of silver flames, leaving behind an afterimage of the message in the air.
Then the silvery traces of the words sink into the water and disappear.
Did the message find Ethan on the other side of the abyss? I wish I could chase after the words and reach his side in my next breath. I miss him so much. I feel hollow—like every essential organ inside me is gone. I am empty without him.
For the first time, I let myself think about how Ethan must have felt when I left him to chase after Daeseong—how he must feel not knowing what happened to me. I close my eyes as my throat and chest tighten painfully.
I almost lost my mind when he disappeared from the mountain cave with the yellow assassin. Not knowing he was safe almost wrecked me. He must feel the same way—desperate, helpless, scared.
I’m sorry, Ethan.
The message will at least reassure him that I’m safe. I hope that will be enough for now.