Chapter 7
Cordelia
Sunshine Cove at night is a very beautiful place. The sky gets inky, and the stars appear in their millions to light up the world. We’re far enough away from the cities that the night sky is never dimmed. The lights from the town sheds only a faint glow, outlining the few streets we do have.
But the world seems both so much bigger and smaller, like we’re enclosed in this blanket of dark safety. Maybe it’s why I spend so much time awake at night. Maybe that’s why my muse is triggered when the world gets dark.
Maybe it’s because it’s the only time I allow myself to pretend I even have a chance with him.
“Do you want to come inside?” I ask stiffly, refusing to look at Fox.
“Yes, I would.”
I quickly put Gale away and fill his water and feed for the night before tucking him inside out of the wind.
“Gale is a big baby; he’s always been like this. He doesn’t like getting his hooves muddy or the cold. The heat is offensive to him. But he’s got the biggest, best heart.”
“Why was he stopping you from going with Gwen?”
I jolt, remembering he saw that, squirming because I really don’t want to explain that.
Resignation makes my chest feel heavy. I bite my lip, but I guess I should explain, I mean, he did get to see that whole embarrassing episode. It’s not as if I can look any worse in his eyes.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Silly, really. I almost drowned three years ago.
I’m not a strong swimmer. Of course, I can.
I live in a seaside town; I just prefer to walk.
Sebastian got me out, gave me CPR, and I was okay.
But, uh, Gale can sense when I start getting upset, and the thought of being near the pool freaks me out. ”
Sebastian’s frantic molten stare hits me again, rising from my memory.
He held me until the ambulance arrived. He came with me, and he stayed with me.
I remember waking up to him lying beside me in the bed, and that’s when I saw him look at me with soft eyes, like I was important, like I was someone he was never going to lose.
I thought everything had changed, but when I got home, it all went back to how it was.
I’m so turned around in that memory of fear and loss that I miss Fox moving until it’s too late.
Fox does the unthinkable.
He hugs me.
“I am so sorry that happened to you, Cordelia. It must have been so frightening and scary. You are incredibly brave to keep going back, and I am going to get Gale a bag of carrots for being the most amazing horse in the world.”
He doesn’t let go, and I’m too shocked to even try to get away. Except, a flare of yearning and want hits me, and I realise I don’t want him to ever let me go. I slide my arms up and hug him back, burying my face in his clothes and the scent of him.
Not many people hug me. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just I don’t look approachable. Or so Asher told me one day when I asked her.
But this alpha, he doesn’t just hug, he envelopes, he pulls you into his arms, his chest, until I don’t know where I end and he begins. I’m lost in his scent, stunned by the warmth and strength of the muscles holding me close. I feel safe and small and cared for. If only it would never end.
“I would not have you be so sad again,” he murmurs.
“Shall we go in?” I ask in a stutter.
He humphs and sets me down, but he doesn’t relinquish my hand; he just holds me tight and lets me lead him in through the back door.
“Mum?” I shout.
There’s no answer.
She must be with her boyfriend, an alpha by the name of Randall. They have a long time on-again, off-again relationship that is messy and chaotic and suits them both.
Fox lets go of me and starts wandering around. He touches everything: the vase I made for Mum in tenth grade; the drawings framed on the wall. Not report cards, never any trophies. Mum valued my creativity.
He touches the books on needlework, sewing, pottery, quilting, beekeeping, and etching before he moves on to the homemade jars of herbal remedies.
“Do you know how to do all of this?”
I pour homemade lemonade into two glasses. “Yes, Mum always dragged me into all these hobbies.”
“What can’t you do?” Fox murmurs. “Seriously, is there anything?”
I smile, I can’t help it, he’s ridiculous.
“She can’t stay out of other people’s affairs,” a familiar voice snarls.
I gasp, my whole body coming alive like I've been plugged into an electric socket.
“Bas.” I take in his anger and stiffen. “You tattled?” I cast a quick, accusing glare at Fox.
“Only to Katsu.”
He prowls toward me. “I told you to give up swimming.”
“I told you the kids needed me.”
“I don’t care about the kids, I care about-”
He cuts himself off, but I’m dying to hear the rest of that sentence.
“Fine. I will go and volunteer,” he announces in pure irritation.
The parts of me that were bristling, getting ready to fight, soften and melt at his unexpected reply.
I see a shift of movement behind him, and my attention falls on the third alpha. He moves like liquid, gliding easily and taking up all the space. I want to step back away from him, and towards him, falling into the safety he’s bringing.
“Katsu,” Fox murmurs at my side, and his fingers ground me, stopping me from bolting.
I remember the kiss Bas and Katsu shared in the restaurant. It was lightning in a bottle. I’ve been very carefully blocking it out, but now I have no choice but to face it. It set my blood on fire.
“Cordelia,” he murmurs, and when he closes the space between us, he reaches out and brushes my hair back from my face. My eyes fall closed of their own volition, and I inhale deeply, drowning in his scent, in their scents.
My toes tingle, and my body gets heavy.
His fingers linger on my cheek. If he wanted me, I’d give myself to him without a second thought. That’s how powerful this alpha is. I want him like I’ve only ever wanted one other person, well, two now.
I open my eyes and look at Sebastian and find him staring at me with a perplexing expression that has me stiffening and stepping away from Katsu. I almost feel like I’ve betrayed Sebastian, almost.
“Would you both like a drink? I can get you one.” I rush back into the kitchen, aware my voice is too loud, and I am panicking and barely holding it together.
I try to lift the jug but have to put it down because my hands are shaking too much. A warm chest presses up against my back and hands land on the wood bench, trapping me.
I reach out and slowly, lost in this feeling that it’s just a dream, I run my small hands over the large and unfamiliar wrist and trace the tendons, bones, and veins of his massive hand. The need to touch him is overwhelming.
A whine slides from between my teeth, and he leans in, his nose in my hair. My body erupts in goosebumps.
He groans and brings the hand I’m not playing with to rest on my hip, and I’m aware of the curve of my body and how small I am compared to him. I tiny sound slips free, not quite a whine, and not quite a groan.
“Cordie,” Katsu murmurs.
I tense, waiting to hear what he’s going to say. If it’s bad, I don’t want to hear it, but what if it’s good?
“I’d like to make you dinner.”
What?
I twist my head, but one look at that intense gaze, and I have to look away. Slick pools between my legs, and it’s hard, so hard to think.
“Dinner?” I murmur.
“Yes, let me make you dinner. You’ve been up and running around looking after everyone; let me take care of you.”
“Fox tattled on me about that, too, huh?”
Katsu huffs a laugh, and I lean back against his chest, feeling suddenly faint. His arms fold around me, holding me up, forcing the world to go away.
“You are so potent,” I murmur in a daze
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, I like it.”
His scent of spices, incense, and warmth spikes in the air, getting even more alluring, but my scent mixes with his in a way I’ve never smelled it before, bringing a cool and the scent of azaleas to mix in a perfectly intoxicating blend.
“So, dinner?” I say in desperation. “When?”
“Now, I’ll cook. You go and have a shower, relax, and when you come down, we will eat and leave.”
“You’ll leave?” I don’t want them to leave.
“Yes, until you are absolutely sure about us. And you will be.”
He’s staying; he’s not going anywhere. The relief hits me hard, and my fingers clench around his wrist.
“I have no plans for a pack. I was going to be alone forever,” I mutter, trying to explain everything. While I stare at the familiar green-painted kitchen cabinets. Is this really happening?
“Silly Omega,” Katsu murmurs.
It doesn’t occur to me until I’m in my bedroom looking at the photo of Gale that there’s a reason why I can’t be with them.
I have a quick shower and get dressed in a maxi dress and a thigh-length black cardigan.
When I pad down the stairs, I find that there are four plates, and Katsu is dishing up pasta onto them.
I slide into the chair, but then realise we don’t have four chairs; we only have two because there was never anyone else but us. I hesitate, then pick up my dish and go into the lounge room, setting it down on the coffee table while I open the blinds so I can see the night.
They sit on the couch, and I sit down on the ground, trying to put plenty of space between us.
Before I can grab my plate, Sebastian grabs me and pulls me back so I’m leaning against the couch between him and Fox.
I start eating and moan in delight. It’s a stir-fry, but the flavours are amazing. I wonder if he will give me the recipe.
We eat in silence for several minutes, but like all good things, this too had to end.
“I’m moving in with Katsu and Fox.”
He’s moving?
The pasta turns to cement in my throat.
“Oh, where are you going?” I strangle out.
“The O’Grady house.”
I choke. “That’s right next door.”
Sebastian laughs in an evil way. I slap his leg, but secretly, the omega inside me is as happy as a pig in muck. He’s still going to be just next door.
He grabs a chunk of my hair, doesn’t pull it, just holds it. My scalp tingles.
“Don’t do what you did again, Cordelia.”
I glower out the window, setting my almost empty plate down. “I love Lorelei, Milton, and Franco.”
“I know.”
“And Sofia is my best friend. And your sisters are like my little sisters.”
“I’m aware.”
“And we…” I stop because I don’t know what to say. What are we? Enemies? Rivals? Friends?
“Don’t redirect my anger onto you,” Sebastian growls.
“If it helps keep the peace, I’m not going to say I won’t do it-”
“Cordelia, I’m big enough to handle not just my own feelings, but my parents-”
“You were going into a rut,” I spit out bitterly.
A tension snaps to life between the three of them so quickly I don’t even understand what I’ve said.
“You are impossible,” he breathes.
“Yeah, you say that a lot,” I grumble and stand up, gathering the plates.
“Sebastian, breathe. Slow. Progress, remember,” Katsu says in his deep voice.
I snort. “Sebastian doesn’t do slow. He does explosions.”
Seb glares at me, then walks out of the house, letting the door slam shut. The sound hurts. I hunch my shoulders and stare blindly at the dirty dishes.
“He will come around,” Fox whispers and hugs me. “I’m going to go with him. Katsu is going to do the dishes and help you close up the house. Goodnight, Omega. I will see you tomorrow, and I’ll be counting the seconds.”
“I don’t need-”
But it’s too late; Fox is gone. I escape to the kitchen, trying not to cry.
I feel his presence behind me and tense. He moves closer and closer, and finally, he’s standing right behind me, pressed against me. I’m breathing like I’ve just run a kilometer down the beach in flip-flops.
He reaches around me and takes the stacked plates, setting them in the sink and turning on the tap to fill it.
“Sebastian has some lessons to learn and feelings to sort out, but can I assure you, no alpha likes seeing what you did today.”
“No one else has cared.”
“Maybe no one else thought they had the right to intervene, but I assure you, seeing an omega challenge and get all that unbridled rage turned on them was not a good feeling.”
“He needed a safe outlet,” I argue.
“You are not equipped to deal with an alpha like Sebastian in that state,” Katsu says firmly but not unkindly.
He turns me until I’m facing him. His eyes are so pale but so intense.
“I don’t want to see him ruin his relationship with his family-”
Katsu kisses me.
It’s sudden and toe-curlingly good. I arch up into him, grabbing his shirt in my fists to hold my shaking body upright. It doesn’t last long, just long enough to ruin my world.
“You are adorable, Cordelia, but in this instance, wrong.”
“Wrong?”
“His family would understand and forgive him. We’ve already spoken with his parents, and Sebastian has apologised.”
“He has?”
I feel this strange pang, like I’m being left out or forgotten again.
He strokes my cheek with his thumb, and when he pulls it back, I see he’s captured a tear. I lift my hands to my cheeks, swiping them away as he sucks on his thumb, taking my tear, stealing it.
“I’m coming back tomorrow for our first official date. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
It takes just a few minutes to wash the dishes, and I stand where he left me, watching the efficient way he moves around the kitchen.
I don’t know what people are thinking. Katsu in real life is nothing like the character I created. He makes my creation look flimsy, weak, and fragile.
This alpha is a wall of strength, complex and deep with interesting thoughts and knowledge, and that kiss was nothing my imagination could conjure.
“Goodnight, Cordelia.”
He touches his lips to my cheek, and then this alpha that I tried to dream up turns and walks out of my home. I sag against the kitchen bench, my fingers touching my lips, his words echoing in my head.
And again, I remember belatedly, that I can’t have them.