Chapter 33 Cordelia
Cordelia
I’ve waited until I think I’m going to go insane. The cream jacket has kept me warm, but my fingers are numb.
“Am I last?”
“We thought you might need some more time.” Lorelei says. “Are you ready?”
I look up at her and see the concern on her face.
“I am. I’m going to tell them everything.”
“Okay, good luck.” She pauses. “Cordelia?”
“Yes?”
“I’m proud of you.” She pats me awkwardly on the shoulder.
Lorelei steps back and turns to face the waiting crowd, transforming into a Pack Maker. “Our final match. Sebastian Sol, Fenix Blizzard, Katsu Blizzard, and Cordelia Lake. Will they find their truths? Will they choose each other? Are they a light in the night? Let’s find out.”
I stand up and walk to the stairs, following the path of glowing lights. The beach is lit up. In between the lights on the white satin are rose petals that I suspect came from my mother’s flower dyeing business.
I walk quickly, but it feels like forever, and maybe that’s exactly the point. Perhaps I’m supposed to think, to question, to have doubts. But I don’t have any.
I’ve made my decision.
I see them waiting for me in that beautiful circle of light. The fake candles look remarkably like real ones, and behind the guys is an arch of red roses.
“You can do this,” I tell myself, and I know I can.
I get to them, and they look amazing. Perfect, even.
“I-” Sebastian starts, but I hold up a hand.
“You look-”
“No, please let me speak first,” I say, cutting Katsu off. “Please, if I don’t say it now, I won’t.”
Katsu nods. “Okay. We’re listening.”
I take another deep breath. “The fact is that I love you. I do, totally and completely, with everything in me. I love your quiet strength, Katsu, and how you take care of everyone. The way your kindness just radiates out of you is what drew me to you. But I think you need someone to take care of you, too. Fox, you have the kindest, most gentle soul, and I want only the most beautiful things for you. You both captivate me.”
Sebastian stares at me as I turn to him.
“You have been my every waking and dreaming thought. The strength I needed to fight, the push in the right direction. You challenge me, and I am yours. It is that simple. You know I am.”
I hold up a hand, stopping him from speaking again.
“But there is something I have to tell you. And it’s really important.
” I pause to breathe because I feel like I can’t.
I feel like I’m about to screw this whole thing up.
But I have to do this. Rip it off, do it quickly.
I inhale, and on the exhale, I confess. “I am Lynn Marino.”
The crowd erupts from the street, I shift uneasily and try to drown them out.
My alphas stare at me.
“I am the author you are seeking. The thing is, Wolf and Cat are figments of my imagination. I thought about what my dream alpha would be, and I wrote it down.” Tears well in my eyes.
“I wanted someone with inner strength and someone kind, so much so that even animals would love him. I wanted you to be together because I didn’t want you to be alone in the world.
But in my story, you always found me in the end.
You were just searching for your happy ever after.
But I am Lynn, and it’s my fault you are hurting. ”
My tears spill onto my cheeks, but I push them away.
“I would understand if you hated me. In truth, I’m not fond of how I’ve acted either.
I can explain why I did it and why I hid it.
I have a million reasons, but none of them are good enough.
All I can do is make it right. I came here tonight expecting to tell you I cancelled the preorder and will be unpublishing the books,” I pause, staring at them, the tears spilling over, “except I can’t say that. ”
I start to sob and cover my face, trying to regain control. I sniffle and look at them again because they deserve that much.
“I hope you can forgive me for lying to you. I really, really do because I love you so much.”
I lift my face and look at them. Steeling myself for the next part.
“I can’t give her up, please don’t ask me to.
Lynn Marino is me; she’s the part of me I found by fire and forge.
She’s my strength and everything I am proud of, and I love you, I really, really do.
But I’m not prepared to destroy a part of myself that I am so in love with either.
If you love me, you love all of me.” My lower lip wobbles.
“Please. Please don’t make me choose. Don’t make me get rid of her to be with you. ”
There’s a horrible, tense silence. One so deep that it already feels like it’s over.
“Cordie,” Fox says gently. He laughs softly as he closes the distance between us and cups my cheeks. “We knew.”
“You did?” Sebastian gasps.
“Yeah, you slipped up and said something that Bastian’s girlfriend said. It was too unique and, yeah, it all clicked.”
“What?” I say, staring at him, shocked, I’d practically talked myself out of them knowing. I don’t understand why they wouldn’t have said something.
“And I knew before that. Just a gut feeling,” Katsu says gently. “You don’t have to give up Lynn. We want you to write. You are passionate and strong, and this is part of who you are. It’s something you built for yourself, how could we take that away from you? I am so proud of you.”
“Yeah, all of that,” Fox agrees. “We did try to tell you, but the town seems set on making sure we didn’t get a chance.
Apparently, someone overheard us and thought we would break up with you if we spoke before we got here, so they have been helping,” Fox shrugs and looks right at the camera.
“Thank you, Sunshine Cove, it was fun, though.”
Katsu chuckles. “They have been singing your praises, not that we needed to know, but everyone has told us how wonderful you are over and over. All week, all we have heard is how good and kind of a person you are, how clever, how generous, how loyal and devoted. Cordelia, they didn’t need to convince us, but I’m glad they tried.
They want you to be happy. This town loves you, and so do we. ”
“So… does that mean you will stay? That we’re a match? Did my mother succeed again?” Sebastian gasps. “There will be no living with her!”
“Yes, that’s what it means,” Fox says with a grin. Sebastian pulls him in for a kiss that has my eyes filling with tears.
“But what about the fans?” I ask anxiously.
“We’ll hire security and charge for signings,” Katsu says, stalking towards me. “But we and Bas, Cat and Wolf, belong to Lynn Marino, for now and for always.”
I stay where I am, watching the massive alpha approach. My heart is trying to beat out of my chest, but I can’t look away.
“What about the books?“
“They are very good. I never said they weren’t.
If it were anyone else writing about me, I’d be upset, but it’s you, Cordie.
You dreamed us up before you ever met us.
That’s just fate telling us we’re a match.
I believe this was just destiny. Maybe it was written in the stars.
But you knew us before you ever met us. And I have loved you all my life, even in fiction. ”
He’s a foot away, and I’m shaking so hard I can’t move, not even if I wanted to. But Katsu reaches for me-
“Do the thing,” a voice says from the dark. “Hurry up so I can eat.”
“Clint?” Sebastian calls out.
“Shut up, you’ll summon the beast. Just do the thing and let’s get fed. Come on, I’m starving.”
I bite my lip, laughing, and then I remember what he’s talking about.
“CLINT!” Lorelei shrieks. “You’re ruining it!”
“I was never here,” Clint whispers and races off.
What? Oh!
I pull out my painted rock, staring down at it. It really is so beautiful. “Will you be my Light Knot Night match?”
Katsu and Sebastian pull out their rocks. We all hand them to Fox.
“Yes, forever,” Katsu says.
I leap into their arms as lights shoot up from the beach.
Pinks, reds, blues, purples, and golds. The laser lights swirl and dance as music plays, growing in volume until it can be heard all over Sunshine Cove.
The path of light pulses and ripples, and then a red heart blooms over the ocean.
They’ve used Devon’s boat to rig the display up, but it’s so damn pretty.
I bite my lip and lean against Katsu, refusing to let go of him.
All the matches come back down to the beach. There are five of us who have found love. But everyone looks so happy, even the singles. I wonder if this reaches more than just the people who find love. If maybe the community is what people are yearning for. To not feel quite so alone.
“Pay attention to the lights, Cordie or Mum will make us do it again next week,” Sebastian rumbles.
I snicker.
Leaning on the rails up on Main Street, I see the rest of Sunshine Cove, Sofia, Devon, Elijah, and Mack. The Sols. My mum and Randall, Harry, Yolanda, Grigori. And to my surprise, a seagull and…is that a magpie?
I hear a neigh and curse, turning to find Gale racing towards us. He jumps over the lights as if they are a massive five-foot jump and then prances happily. He’s got flowers woven into his mane and tail, and he’s wearing a felt saddle of red material that has hearts all over it.
“That is so cute.”
“Sickeningly so,” I mutter. “Ugh, who did this to you, boy?”
“Who did you escape from?” Seb asks the horse.
He simply turns to Fox and starts nibbling his jumper, ignoring both me and Sebastian.
“You are on poop duty forever,” Seb growls at Fox.
“Hello, Sunshine Cove!” Lorelei’s voice comes across loud and clear, booming into the night. “Light Knot Night is almost over, but we have one more gift for you all.”
The lights go out, and everyone walks down to the beach, blowing out candles one by one until the world is in almost complete darkness.
“Hey, Pack Blizzard?”
I get a jolt hearing someone call us that and turn to find Floyd.
“Hey, Floyd.”
“Congratulations! We were rooting for you! Here, these are for you. Don’t light them yet.”
Sebastian is handed a long stick with a lighter as well as four paper lanterns.
“Everyone who wants to participate, come down to the beach,” Lorelei calls over a microphone.
“What is going on?” I ask.
But no one answers; instead, we head down towards the water, the roaring surf and whatever surprise Lorelei has in store for Sunshine Cove tonight.