16. On the Same Wavelength #3
Akna nodded, then checked over her shoulder before speaking. “I mean, can you blame him? Now that he’s closer to us, I think the betrayal is weighing on him more than ever. Deeds speak louder than words and I don’t know the last time he asked for forgiveness or apologized.”
“I’m glad. Are you hanging in there?”
She nodded. “It’s pretty chill right now, which is a big change from the last… weeks? Months? I dunno anymore. I’ll go out every now and then to feed, but we’ve been laying low to keep any excess attention away from here.”
“Naoma, let’s jump into our own chat,” Kuni said. “I want to tell you about some of the things I’ve been trying with my eel body.”
“Pulse.”
They broke off. Even though she was right next to me, I couldn’t hear her conversation. Kuni moved from the background into another room to have his own camera focused on him.
“Ralia’s been teaching me how to work the neuronet,” Akna said in our private chat, “but I’m far from being able to hack like her. She seems a little more exhausted than usual. Are you feeling anything from the neurocore mission?”
“Maybe a little? Now that you say it, I have an occasional mental fog and it feels like I struggle to grasp a concept, but it’s not too bad.”
Akna nodded. “Hopefully you’ll be done with it soon. How’s the whole Reef thing going?”
“3Rochi is working on getting an invite for us to the Dynasty thing right now.”
“Pulse! Life is pretty good, wouldn’t you say?”
“Yeah, I guess it is.”
“What, is there something wrong?”
“No, it’s just… I always feel like bright skies bring the biggest storms, you plug? There’s always this unsettling feeling in the back of my mind telling me to prepare for the worst whenever I have anything good happen. Like when we got away from Deleon, we were pulled into a bigger problem.”
“Keep your head up. All things considered, I would say your life could only get better.”
“You think it’s that bad already?”
She laughed. “I guess having all of us makes it bearable.”
I didn’t say so, but that made it worse than any other fear. I had a family again. As long as they were all alive and well, life could always get worse.
“Looks like you and Naoma are doing well, huh?”
“Yeah.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “It’s good.”
“Really good?”
“Yeah. Really good.”
“Come on, Pet. Let’s hear it, or is that a privilege reserved for Ralia?”
“No… I don’t really know what to say. I’m trying to understand it all, you know. Having never been with… someone… like this, I don’t know if I’m reading all the signs right, but I want to give her the time she needs.”
“Oh come on, she has to have been with someone, right?”
“Reef forbade serious relationships for publicity purposes and you know that she doesn’t remember her past.”
“Right.”
“We both jumped into love on sight after she overcame the tooth thing, but I think she was still coming out of the Reef daze. We’re taking our time to get to know each other as friends, but it’s naturally moving quickly back to infatuation.”
“Is that too fast for you?”
“No, I just worry about her. I don’t want to zeg it up.”
“I’m sure it’ll all work out. You’re a great guy, Pet. We all love you.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m good enough for her.”
“Then talk with her about it.”
“Yeah, talk with me,” Naoma said.
My heart dropped as I realized Kuni had left their chat and was now occupied with something in the back of the room, which merged our chats.
I squeezed Naoma’s hand. “We’ll chat later, Akna.”
She laughed. “Keep us updated.”
“You, too.”
The chat ended and we exited our neurospaces.
Naoma let go of my hand and moved back an inch to look at me. Her smile was still and confident as she read me.
“How much did you hear?”
“The last little bit. Still worried this won’t work out?”
“I never said that.”
“Then why are you worried?”
“I don’t want to ruin a good thing.”
“Why do you like me?”
I let out a nervous laugh. “What do you mean?”
“We’ve talked about our instant infatuation ever since we got over the tooth thing, but I think it’s obvious that came from you adoring the girl I was, and me just…”
“Falling for the first guy who wasn’t a Finian?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“And now we’ve moved past that.”
“Sure have.” She sounded as awkward as I felt.
“Why do I like you? I love your sincerity.”
“Can’t say that was the quality I was hoping for, but it’s something.”
“No, no, of course that’s not it. I’m trying to dig deep, you know?”
“You haven’t been thinking about me enough so you have to dig?”
“No! You’re my every waking thought–” I stopped myself, not knowing if I hated how cheesy it was or if I wanted to gauge her reaction.
She smiled. There was that sincerity. I knew it was real.
“I thought I was obsessed with you before,” I said. “Your talent and beauty are a ten out of ten, but I had no idea there was so much more to you. I was like a kid trying fish for the first time, thinking canned tuna was as good as fresh sashimi. I thought you were candy, but you were sweeter–”
“Than teeth?”
I hesitated but nodded. “As bad as it might sound, yeah. I hate saying it but it is the best bliss I’ve ever felt. You’re teeth without guilt and harm to others.”
“I’ve told you the teeth don’t bother me anymore. I said teeth because I know you, Petya. I’ve been with you long enough to see who you are and I like that person so you don’t have to be worried about me leaving.”
“No, that’s not it. I’m not worried, I just… if you ever left or didn’t want any of this, I know it would be well deserved.”
“Well, I do want this. Would you be kind enough to let me have it?”
I smirked. “I guess.” I let the silence hang between us, caressing the back of her smooth hand with my calloused thumb.
How many of the scars on my fingers are from pulling teeth?”
I ignored that thought and forced myself to focus on her. The silence had become dangerous so I abandoned it. “Back to sincerity. I mean to say that I love that the Naoma I know is the real you. You don’t hide any secrets, you’re upfront with me, and you let me share your burdens.”
“Still not sure those are great qualities.”
I shook my head. “They are to me, but sincerity is only part of what I like about you. Don’t take this wrong, but I can’t choose something I like about you more than the rest. I like the whole Naoma, not just your beauty, kindness, and the hope that you bring.
I’m glad I get to know this you and not the world thinks it knows.
I love exploring yo–I don’t mean it that way! ”
She giggled.
I laughed, too. “What I mean is… I dunno, I just love all of this. I love getting to know you as you discover more about yourself. I love that there’s more than a story to you.
I love that every moment with you is a gift that is better than the wrapping ever promised.
Every day with you is better than the last. I love that I feel comfortable with you.
Better with you. I love that I am starting to understand what love might be with you.
I love that when I’m with you, I don’t hate myself.
You make me want to live. You make me want to finish this mess just so I can spend time with you.
I thought relationships were a hopeless endeavor until I met you.
I love that every other girl is a tasteless sight compared to your savor.
Zeg that sounded stupid, but I mean it. I mean everything that I’ve said and my words are an awkward mess compared to what I actually feel. I love—“
She pulled me into a passionate kiss that burned every ounce of joy within me.
“–you,” I finished as she let me go.
“You love me?” she asked.
“I think I do.”
“I love you, too, Petya.”
Kyo squealed as she led the group in. “Gimme that passion babes!”
The heat of a crush bled into embarrassment.
“Hot stuff,” Kyo said as she sat down before us. “Is he a good kisser, Nay?”
Her laugh was forced and unsteady.
“Can we focus now?” Koro asked, still standing.
“Yeah, sorry, I–”
She held her hand up to me. “I don’t care.”
“What is it?” Naoma asked.
“You’re in,” Kao said, also standing.
Kao was relaxed, showing no sign of wanting to move as she focused on our embarrassed stares as if she wanted to read further into anything she might have missed. “You’ve got an invitation to a Dynasty celebration! It’ll be pulse as hell. You plug?”
“When?” I asked.
“Tonight,” Koro said. She looked at Naoma. “The Eunuchs are interested in seeing you.”
“Where is it?” I asked.
“Deer Palace Pavillion,” Kao said.
“Never heard of it,” I said.
Kyo smiled. “But you will. I had never heard about you until now, and after the news coverage, it seems like there is a lot more to you than your quiet little appearance.”
“What do you mean?”
“Looks like you’ve got some entertainment for the ride.”
Koro pulled Kyo up and waved for us to follow, not caring to wait. “Skyride’ll be out front in a few minutes. It’s a twenty minute ride but we need to stop at home to change first.”
Kyo looked back at us, resisting her sister who continued to pull her along. “You can borrow some of my clothes, Nay. I’m sure we have something left around from some poor shac’s one-night stand for you, Petya Nebokov.”
What did the news say?
I was terrified to learn and prayed that Ralia was aware of it for any necessary damage control.
Naoma eyed me, looking just as uncomfortable with the public’s newfound knowledge of me.
I realized that despite Ralia’s best efforts to cover our tracks, she couldn’t erase my past.
How long could we survive as ghosts? What was Naoma risking by standing with me?
If my voracious hunger came to light, would she sacrifice her career to stay with me?
Who in their right mind would? With half of her life missing from her memory, was she in the right state of mind to make such a choice?
What was I thinking? Of course she was in the right state of mind. She was as sober and cognizant as anyone, perhaps more than most after being freed from the technological vices that bound all of us, even though she was back on the net.