21. Child Protective Services
Chapter twenty-one
Child Protective Services
“I am going to articulate this in the words that will best resonate with you, bakuh. Zeg. you.”
I found hope in the otherwise unfortunately familiar cube of black and grey pixels.
Zhu.
A moment of silence. It was soon interrupted with a familiar, snorting laugh.
Oh my ligh— Thank God you’re alive.
“Alive? I don’t know if I have lived for centuries. “
But you’re here? You didn’t die in that battle?
“Actually, I think I did.”
But you’re back? Like you were before?
“I believe so.”
I’m sorry if it messed you up.
“Were you victorious?”
Yes! We won!
“Then I suppose it does not matter. You did what was required. Perhaps next time you won’t let your fears constrain you to the point where sacrificing me becomes necessary.”
Yeah. Sorry. I’ll try my best.
Silence lingered. My ears didn’t ring in this cognitive chamber, yet I still felt the silence that crept toward the feeling of overwhelming null. I knew that something would interrupt the encumbering abyss, but that did not diminish the sinking fear of staring into a silence abyss.
“You missed me?”
What?
“Your relief at hearing my voice was that of a child hearing the voice of an absent parent.”
I can’t do anything here without you.
“So I am a mere tool?”
“No, you’re… I don’t know.”
“Your savior.”
More like a friend.
“A temporary salve to an eternity of loneliness.”
What? You’re not leaving, are you?
He snored a laugh. “You long for me. I admire that, though you must beware, attachment causes separation to be all the more painful.”
Are you leaving me or not? Anticipation is almost as bad as the thing itself.
“Now? No. One day I would hope that we will part ways, though in a less dismal way than I am implying. I would like to be my own being again someday.”
Then what are you talking about?
“Your path to ascension will never be without trial. Beware of the attachments you form, for many of them will become obstacles..”
Are you talking about my friends?
“I would rather not confirm the impressions I have before they are proven true.”
What do you know?
“That all is not right with the world. I fear that the many bonds you have formed may rupture for you to succeed.”
Then is my success worth it?
“Yes. Forgive my rambling. Your companions will make it to the end beside you and all will be well.”
Are you lying?
“I am trying to give you the fantasy you dream of.”
Fine. Just tell me what you want.
“Sha is not well.”
What do you mean?
“We shall all see in due time.”
Okay? Does Ralia know?
“She has for a long time.”
What can I do?
“Nothing. Trust her.”
Our conversation ended with Ralia’s sudden appearance. Perhaps Zhu’s ominous warnings were what she had prayed for. I didn’t know if she could correct her Gui or replace it with a new one, but that was for her to understand. He implored that I trust her and I would obey.
“You won?” I asked.
She pushed my shoulder. The uneasy look in her eyes and the weak smile led me to believe that she was fighting for frivolity where there was nothing but unease. I held back from asking her if she had witnessed the horrors that I did.
“Do you think that little of me, Pet?”
“No I just–”
“I know what you meant.” She glanced around as the other remaining competitors appeared in the room. We were the only two talking and the only two who had anything but aversion towards each other. “I’m glad you figured the game out.”
“Zhu helped me and the rest was luck. Maybe I’ll be good enough to beat you after all this.”
“This is some zegged up, twisted version of an otherwise decent game.”
“Did you have the polyps and the intestinal battlefield too?”
“What? No. Did you have screaming parasites?”
I shook my head.
She shrugged and rolled her eyes. “I’m so zegging done with this. How many more…” She turned and counted the remaining competitors now that they had stopped appearing. “Eighteen left.”
“Do you think they’ll half us each round?”
“No idea. I don’t know what they’ll do with the remaining nine after this one, if they take half again.”
“Maybe they’ll let nine through?”
“I wouldn’t be so optimistic.”
“Why?”
She shrugged.
I hated to see the optimist of our group grow pessimistic. “Are you… feeling well?”
She focused on me for a second, then turned back to the other competitors. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Maybe my outer consciousness needs to feed. My mind has been slowing down, but it might just be part of this test.”
“You’re probably right about the feeding. My mind was drained a little while ago and I thought nothing of it. Later, I got a sudden boost of cognitive clarity.”
She nodded. “Other-Ralia needs to get her ass out of her chair to feed. Then again, maybe I’m wrong to blame her. She knows better and we might be dealing with some serious guk outside of here.”
“It can’t be any worse than this.”
“What about meeting that god fetus?”
“I doubt that much has happened since we entered.”
She shrugged. It was so unlike her to let the conversation die with something as simple as a shrug.
Why did it feel like I was the one comforting her?
Had she finally passed on that too-heavy mantle after she let it break her back?
Did she want comfort or was silence a better salve?
I knew I often preferred the latter, but this was Ralia.
“Trust her,” Zhu said.
Does trusting her mean leaving her alone?
“I think she would ask for help if she needed it. Let her wage her battle.”
Ralia has never been the humble type. I’ve pushed past her pride often enough to help her out.
I didn’t wait for his answer before speaking to her. “Anything I can do for you?”
No words, just the shake of her head.
Maybe she wasn’t as dismal as she appeared.
I remembered when I had seen her set everything aside, including social interactions, just to focus on a project.
I let my mind settle with that option, though I doubted it was true.
Even Boyband had asked for help when he needed it.
She might have been prideful, but she wasn’t prideful enough to let stubbornness kill her.
“To the moon, right?” I said.
She smirked. “If that’s where this leads, then yeah. To the zegging moon.”
The announcer spoke, though the scenery did not change.
“Congratulations, victors! Don’t let yourself celebrate quite yet.
We still have more testing to conduct. This round of Luminate League will be a little different.
I am sure many of you are familiar with the game’s various formats, but we have a new module that was made specifically for the Standardized Test!
While some of you may argue that the previous round was unlike any standard match, this will include a new factor beyond that of the altered field.
I know many of you prefer Captain, Duos, or Draft styles of play, but those are all children’s forms for players to use when they cannot otherwise win a standard match. ”
The other competitors shouted their complaints, but the system muted their voices after a few seconds of angst, only solidifying the aforementioned tendencies of children.
“This format will test your extended focus and the ability to handle multiple responsibilities in scholarship. The battlefield and this match’s environment will be revealed upon entry.
Every deck this round will be equipped with additional ability cards which will aid your Lonesome Infant, bringing your starting health to what would be a usual maximum of thirty-five health, but before all cards are added, players will be given an additional fifteen health to compensate for the Lonesome Infant.
Additional ability cards may be added as per the players desire. Thank you.”
One blink was all it took for the world to shift from that chamber within a black abyss to the arena from before. The field between me and my opponent was a pixelated rainbow. An orb sat on each end of our fields.
I was sure my opponent was glaring at me and the egg was interesting enough, but Ralia’s off-putting behavior was still bothering me.
I might be on the edge of death and the eventual collapse of the world, yet her affect bothered me more than any of these things.
I didn’t think I was some great empath and was not humble enough to always put others before me.
Was I being prideful for setting her before me?
No, that was the opposite of selfishness wasn’t it?
Maybe I was selfish for wanting to see her happy again so I could leech off her joy.
Maybe I wanted her attitude to return to charismatic perfection so I had someone to lean on during my ceaseless hours of melancholia.
I thought of Boyband. Akna. Naoma was different.
I tried to reach further into this emotion and found no clarity.
Perhaps it was as simple as wanting my family to be well.
Maybe Zhu was right in worrying about Ralia’s Gui, but she had always had issues with him.
Yes. Part of it was the selfish desire to be back home with them in a comfortable bliss, but that meant that they too were well.
It was all a simple desire that I was overcomplicating.
I wanted my friends to be well and safe, but that desire was out of my reach.
The announcer’s voice grounded me to the unreal reality of the arena. “Choose your starting legends!”