27. Let Me Play Among the Atars #2
Naoma: I’ll hold you to that.
She sent another message before I could think of something to say.
Naoma: I was going to get sentimental, but we’ll leave that for later. It’s easier to send it here, but I think I’m still learning how to be a person, not an idol.
Petya: You’re doing better than any idol I can imagine. 3Rochi would be a mess out in public.
Naoma: I’m still pissed that those three pulled you in as a “fan.” I’ll have to reach out to them later now that Zhou is no longer an obstacle.
Petya: How is the homunculus?
Naoma: Complaining a lot. Abbas has been occupied with him, trying to learn as much as he can. Zhou refuses to talk to Denji. Kuni thinks he looks hilarious and Boyband only makes it worse. I guess it’s nice to see him humbled.
Petya: Have you tried talking to him?
Naoma: For what?
Petya: Details about your past?
Naoma: No, not now. I want you to be there with me for that.
Petya: How sweet.
Naoma: I guess it is, but I want to make sure everything he says lines up with what you have seen me do. The serpent and all that, you plug?
Petya: I plug. So what have you been up to?
Naoma: Chilling with Akna when I’m not trying to catch up on sleep.
Petya: How’s she doing? Boyband said she’s been having some problems with her Gui?
Naoma: Did she tell you how he’s helping her sleep at night? Aren’t they soo cute together?
Petya: Haha, yeah he told me about it but says it isn’t anything more.
Naoma: Even if it isn’t, I’m glad she has a friend.
It’s hard to pick and choose with such a small group of people.
I know you and he are really close, but it’s easy to see Akna feeling like an outlier being so new.
I was somewhat sentient as the Neon Idol and never saw the need for friendships like this.
Fame and fans don’t matter compared to people like you, Ralia, Akna, and so forth.
You all mean a lot to me. Not just you, Petya, but the whole group.
I know and accept that you’re all imperfect, but so am I.
It might be hard to believe my gratitude is genuine when you see yourselves as semi-cannibalistic monsters, but you have no choice.
I don’t need to go over all of this again.
I just wanted to voice it in case you are ever feeling down.
Petya: Thanks. I need a reminder like that every now and then.
Naoma: Back to Akna, yeah, she’s doing fine, given what she has told us she is experiencing. She’s always amped up out of fear or half-awake due to sleep deprivation. Boyband led me to believe it was because she was having problems with her Gui as well, but it doesn’t seem like that is accurate.
Petya: What is it then?
Naoma: You know how Ralia has problems with her Gui? Like personal problems?
“All too well,” Zhu snorted
Petya: Yes.
Naoma: Well, it’s not like that. She used to be apprehensive about having a spirit within her, or whatever it is, but she’s since overcome that with Boyband’s help.
Petya: And he sure loves his.
Naoma: That’s what she said. Now that she’s opened herself up to it, it’s trying to take control.
Petya: Like, take over her mind?
Naoma: No, more like it’s trying to steer her. She can’t relax because it keeps showing her odd visions and telling her to go somewhere. She doesn’t think it’ll stop until we listen.
Petya: Where does it want her to go?
Naoma: Near her home in the southern Republic. It wants her to go to some ancient ruins, or that’s at least what she said. She describes it as a temple of some sort.
Petya: Huh.
Ralia: Oh, and now that she’s more comfortable with us, she wants to make sure we call it South America, not the Southern Republic.
Petya: Oh yeah, did I slip?”
Naoma: Oh, you knew about it already?
Petya: That a lot of the south wants to count themselves separate from the Republic? I mix up the names but try to stick to South America.
Naoma: Yeah. I guess she’s right in being proud of her home with the mess the Republic is right now. We’ll chat about that later though.
Petya: Sure, I guess we don’t have any specific direction after the moon.
Naoma: Yeah, I understand that might change, but this is something to keep in mind.
Petya: Thanks for letting me know.
Naoma: Just don’t let it overburden you, okay? I’ve been around you long enough to see the weight you hold with this family of yours. The only one who compares to you is Ralia.
Her words tempted me again to complain, but she was right.
Ralia must be aching after holding us up for so long.
I could only do so much. Without Ralia, we would have been caught, imprisoned, and likely executed by now.
I was still frustrated with her, but I recognized that nothing could make me hate her.
Naoma: Sorry, Pet. I’ve got to go help Kuni work on his light manipulation.
Petya: What?
Naoma: Yeah, haha. I know that our abilities are different, but the kid’s been learning how to channel his personal light into lanterns, tools in the kitchen, and so forth. He still shocks us on occasion, but it’s amazing to see what he is capable of.
Petya: Pulse. I can’t wait to see.
Naoma: You’ll be back soon enough.
Petya: Take care, Nay.
Naoma: You too, Pet.
I wondered if I should say something more, some final concession of a deeper admiration, but some sentiments are better said face to face. She sent me an image of her and Kuni, cheek to cheek, each holding out two fingers and smiling.
I smiled. I had succumbed to too many concerns and thoughts of inevitable failure but this was enough to remind me that I still had a purpose.
Of course I always knew the world was my purpose, but something so vast was hard to comprehend as a single goal.
I would always do what I needed for the betterment of humanity, but I needed the occasional reminder that there were people who loved me.
For the girl I loved and for the boy who needed a bright future, I could do anything.
I sent Ralia a message.
Petya: Forgive me. I’ve got a lot going on and I shouldn’t have doubted you. Love you, Ral.
Of course my concerns regarding Sha perpetuated, but scorning and questioning her would do nothing. I would have to rely on my and Zhu’s perception if a disaster did not occur beforehand.
She responded immediately.
Ralia: Love you, Pet. Get some rest.
I had forgotten how to relax without fixes.
I scrolled through the entertainment options on the flight panel and chose an animated mindshow about a sorcerer academy and a kid who ate a demon’s finger.
I figured if I was to learn what coping with a nefarious being living within my friend, a fictional teenager was as good a place as any theory out there.