Chapter Twelve GRAHAM
Chapter Twelve
GRAHAM
The following weekend, I walked past the living room, studiously ignoring the giggling escaping into the kitchen, and sat down at the table. Allie was having friends over tonight. Overnights were the bane of my existence. It felt like teenage hormones descended upon the house.
I glanced around. There were empty pizza boxes on the counter. Blessedly, the girls had cleaned up and already put their dishes in the dishwasher. If I’d learned one thing as a parent, it was making sure to mention the good stuff. I reversed course and leaned into the living room.
“Thanks for cleaning up your dishes, girls,” I called over the cacophony of voices.
It was amazing to me that only three of them could make so much noise. They turned to look at me from where they sat on the floor in front of the couch. “You’re welcome. Thanks for noticing, Dad,” Allie called in return.
“Can we have ice cream?” her friend Serena asked.
“Of course. I picked up three flavors at the grocery store.”
I was feeling a little too proud about that detail. The next thing I knew, the kitchen, which I thought of as my safe space during slumber parties, had been taken over.
“Ooh, raspberry chocolate chip. My favorite!” Allie dashed over and pecked a kiss on my cheek.
“There’s also regular chocolate chip and that peanut butter stuff,” I offered.
It only took another few minutes, and they returned to the living room with their ice cream.
I put some in a bowl for myself and sat at the table, contemplating making a cup of coffee.
I didn’t really need one, but coffee was always good.
That said, the girls were probably going to keep me up as it was.
Of course, thinking of coffee had me thinking of Madison. Madison who made a mean cup of coffee. Madison who I’d seen at Firehouse Café again this morning. Madison whose kiss I’d replayed waaa-yyyyy too many times in my thoughts. Just thinking about it now caused me to shift in my chair.
You can’t pursue her. There’s nothing there. You don’t have time. She’s complicated. And she’s way too prissy.
You don’t know that she’s prissy.
My less critical thoughts intervened. I didn’t know that. She just seemed prissy with her glossy dark hair and her perfect mouth. She was always put together. Even her robe was nice. But she couldn’t be that prissy since she’d driven up to Alaska by herself.
I had so many questions about Madison, and I wanted to know every answer. Why did she show up to live in her grandfather’s house? This small town in Alaska was a world away from a city like Houston, Texas.
I gave my head a hard shake, telling myself I needed to stop thinking about Madison.
I knew it was probably futile. She was my closest neighbor now.
This town was too small for me to avoid her.
Not to mention, she’d painted her nails with my daughter.
I didn’t want to be rude to Madison, but avoiding her wasn’t polite.
There was no way I could get around it in Willow Brook.
The girls eventually quieted down, and I retreated to my bedroom. They decided to lay in sleeping bags in the living room because they wanted to fall asleep in front of the fireplace.
The following morning, I was in the kitchen getting coffee after Allie’s friends had left.
I heard what I thought was the distinct sound of my daughter crying.
It was weird how attuned I was to that sound.
She was in her bedroom with the door closed, but the subtle sniffles were magnified to my ears.
I set down my coffee cup and walked quietly down the hallway, hoping she didn’t hear the sound of my socks on the hardwood floor.
Yep. She was definitely crying. I was debating whether to knock lightly on the door when she called. “Come on in, Dad.”
So much for my stealth moves. I opened the door slowly, peering around it. “Sorry. Need anything?”
Allie looked up from where she sat in the center of her bed with her legs crossed and her elbows resting on her knees, her usual crying position.
My heart squeezed. “What is it?” I crossed to her bed and sat on the end.
“I called Mom.”
A jolt of anger struck me, but I kept my face passive.
“I wanted to know when she was going to visit again since she canceled this one.”
“Ah.” I nodded slowly. “What did she say?”
Allie’s head dipped down. She pressed the heels of her palms in her eyes, smearing the tears away. She didn’t look up when her hands fell to her lap. “She doesn’t know.”
“Ah,” I repeated, the neutral response I used when I didn’t know what the hell to say. “I’m sorry, hon,” I finally added. “Do you want me to talk to her?”
My daughter’s eyes lifted, and my heart twisted painfully in my chest. They were red-rimmed, and her lashes were spiky from her tears.
For a second, I saw hope flare in her eyes, and then her shoulders curled down as she let out a ragged sigh.
“No, there’s no point, but thanks. What are you doing today? ”
“Not working. Want to go to Anchorage? We can get lunch at your favorite place.”
Allie shook her head, her curls swinging. “Can we go to Firehouse?”
“Of course.” As if I’d say no to anything she asked just now. Good thing what she asked for was an easy one.
Later that afternoon, while Allie was ensconced in her bedroom watching something on YouTube, I decided to call her mother anyway. Alison answered on the fourth ring.
“Hey, Graham. What’s up?”
Her tone was dry, and annoyance pricked at me. “I’m not calling to ask you to visit Allie, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t make promises you never plan to keep.”
“Jesus, Graham. No need to be so high and mighty. I’m in a new relationship. When things settle, I’ll try to take a look at my schedule.”
“Because that’s going to change something,” I returned swiftly. “Look, I have done my damnedest not to be an asshole, but this has got to stop. I want her to have a relationship with you, but please stop making promises. You’re ruining any chance you have for her not to think you don’t care.”
Alison sounded chastised when she replied, “Okay. I’m sorry, Graham. I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“You never mean to hurt her, but you haven’t been a parent so you don’t know what it’s like.”
“I’m a parent!” she retorted defensively.
“Being a parent isn’t just having the baby.
You were here for the first month of her life, and then you bolted.
Since then, you’ve visited, what? Maybe six times.
You’re a parent insofar as your name is on her birth certificate, but that’s it.
If you keep doing this, I will go to court and pull visits. ”
“You would never—” she began.
“Yeah, I would. You don’t visit as it is. Your own parents would testify against you at this point. I’ve never asked for child support, and I’m not about to. All I’m asking is you don’t make our daughter promises you don’t intend to keep. That’s it. I gotta go.”
I hung up because there simply wasn’t anything else to say. I fucking hated this situation. I loved being a dad, and Allie was a part of my heart. But filling the hole her mother left in her life was a constant battle. Alison was a flake—shallow and superficial—and just couldn’t be bothered.
I laughed to myself, the sound bitter to my own ears.
She’d seemed like a great girl in high school—gorgeous, fun, and the life of any party—but not a good option to raise kids.
I’d been a little startled she’d even decided to have Allie.
Maybe she was too far along when she found out, and her parents pressured her. She’d never said much about it to me.
I took a breath, willing the anger to pass inside. Just then, my phone vibrated, and I looked down, seeing Off-Limits Neighbor flash on the screen.
Off-Limits Neighbor: What do I do about a moose between me and my car?