Chapter Seventeen ROWAN
Chapter Seventeen
ROWAN
I had sent a quick email to my old friend Darryl, asking if he knew anything I didn’t about what might’ve happened with Mae.
If there was anything to know, he might know it.
Ever since Mae had said she needed to tell me something, something was niggling in my thoughts.
I chalked it up to me being upset with Mae back then for cutting me out without explanation.
After she stopped talking to me, biology lab had been tense for the rest of that semester. After that, we didn’t have any classes together.
Opening my email, I was surprised to see his reply only a day later. “Call me. I think I know what you’re asking about.”
Scrolling through my contacts, I found his old number. “Hey, man,” he said as soon as he answered. “How the hell are you?”
“Pretty good. Life’s busy. How about you? You still working in law?”
“Of course. It's kind of dry, but I actually like it. Got married. About to have our second kid.”
“Good for you, man. That’s what you wanted, right?” Darryl had been a solid friend who knew what he wanted—a steady job with decent money and a family. The guy kept it simple.
“Good thing it’s what I wanted. I love kids. They’re hysterical and messy. What about you? You were doing the firefighter thing last I knew,” he replied.
“Still am. I’m out in Alaska. A buddy from my hometown who's also a firefighter told me about an opening out here, so I jumped on it.”
“Ah, you do love to travel. How is Alaska? What's it like?”
“Fucking gorgeous and kind of mind-blowing. There are moose everywhere.”
Darryl chuckled. “So that's not an exaggeration?”
“Nope. Anyway, you said for me to call you.”
“I did. You sure you want to know? I thought you knew, or I’d have told you.”
My gut turned over. “What is it?”
“It was that night you couldn’t find Mae at that party. You remember Chet?”
“Yeah. Hard to forget that asshole.” At the mere mention of Chet’s name, dread coated my stomach with a bitter acid.
Chet was a fucking dick, the worst kind of guy. He’d only been our roommate for that one year. We’d chosen not to renew a lease because we didn’t want him there anymore.
“What happened?” I prompted.
“I don't know all the details, but I'm pretty sure he spiked her drink. Steph heard about it,” he explained, referring to his wife, who’d been his girlfriend back then.
My heart seized and then lunged into a pounding beat. After Chet moved out, rumors traveled about him spiking women's drinks with a date rape drug and then raping them and claiming it was consensual. We didn’t find out about this level of his assfuckery until after he moved out.
“Oh, my fucking god.”
“I know. Even though they were just rumors, I always wondered if they were true. He was a next-level asshole.”
“Fuck. I know. Darryl, you knew Mae. She wasn't a partier. He didn’t usually go for that kind of girl.” I was grasping at anything to somehow make this not true.
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. No, no, no!
I was standing in the kitchen in my apartment, and my knees felt a little wobbly. I walked over and plunked down on the couch.
“Chet didn’t have a type. He just liked to take advantage if he thought he could,” my friend said flatly.
“Oh, my god,” I breathed. “No wonder she was so pissed off at me. Did you know that back then?”
“Fuck no! I’d have told you if I did. I found out because Stephanie heard from another one of the girls who knew Mae. I told her about your email, and that’s what she told me. I’d like to think it was bullshit, but you know how Chet was.”
“Oh, my god,” I repeated. I was trying to wrap my brain around this hellish news.
“What brings this up now?”
“I'm in Alaska, and that's where Mae's from. It’s kind of a weird coincidence, but when my friend told me where the job was, I wanted to take it because I hoped I could reconnect with her. She kind of fell off the radar.”
“How is she?” he asked.
I took a shaky breath. “I’m not sure now. I mean, she’s okay, but I didn’t know this. I couldn't ever forget her. She's just, I don't know. You know how it is.”
Darryl’s laugh rustled through the line. “I do. That's why I married Stephanie.”
I managed to laugh, but it was dry and tinged with bitterness. My laughter died in my throat. “Fuck,” I muttered.
“Yeah, sorry to tell you that. It's awful.”
“Should I tell Mae what I know?”
“Hell if I know. That's intense. I don't know.”
“Can I talk to Stephanie?” I hadn’t spoken to his wife in years, but I knew her from college because they started dating when I lived with Darryl. I was near frantic to talk to her.
“Right now?”
“Please, if you don't mind.”
My friend moved the phone away from his mouth, calling, “Steph!”
A few seconds later, I heard him explaining that I wanted to talk to her and why.
“Here she is,” he said.
“Hi, Rowan. Nice to hear from you,” she said.
“Same. Look, I know this might be weird.”
“It’s definitely a tough conversation to start with,” Stephanie said.
Her tone was warm, radiating empathy and reminding me precisely why Darryl fell for her.
“Can you fill me in on what you heard? Did Mae remember what happened?”
Just asking that question caused my stomach to twist painfully.
“She was in my dorm, and we were in the same circle of friends. Mae told us what happened with Chet. She remembers because she came to in the middle of it.”
“Oh, my fucking god,” I whispered hoarsely. I wanted to throw up. “Was she okay?”
“Well, I mean, no. She was pretty freaked out about it. I don't think she dated again at all after that. According to her old roommate, who was just a shallow gossip, Mae was a virgin before that, so—”
“Oh, fuck. Are you fucking serious? Sorry,” I added quickly.
“No need to apologize. Swear all you want. It’s an awful situation,” Stephanie said.
“Yeah, it is.” My voice was thick, and my throat ached.
“What brought all this up?”
“Mae and I went out a few times. She shut me down after that, but we’d been really good friends before, and I didn't know what had happened. When I found out about a job in her hometown, I took it, hoping to reconnect.”
“Aw, that's kind of sweet,” Stephanie said.
“What's sweet?”
“That you never could forget her.”
I leaned back into the couch, running a hand through my hair. “No, I couldn't. And now I don't know what to do. Should I tell her what I know now?”
Stephanie let out a heavy sigh. “I don't know, but I don't know how you can keep it a secret if you want to be her friend or more.”
“Oh, god. This is bad.”
“You're a good man, Rowan. You always were one of the nice guys.”
“I try to be.” It almost hurt to speak.
“You have no good choices, but I think you have to tell her what you know. And if she hates you for it, you're just gonna have to live with it.”
“Great advice,” I said dryly, feeling helpless.
I’d wanted to know what happened, and now I wished I could forget.
Stephanie’s voice was warm and understanding. “The truth will set you free, or something like that.”
“Yeah. Well, how are you?”
“Doing pretty well, all things considered. Maybe you should sweep her off her feet or something. Show her there are good men in the world.”
“There are plenty of good men in the world, but there are lots of assholes. Chet was the worst,” I muttered, anger spinning into the distress and pain echoing inside.
“Yeah, he was. You guys gave up a sweet apartment just so he wouldn't be your roommate anymore.”
“I know, right? It's fucking ridiculous, but that's how bad he was.”
“Good luck with this, whatever happens. Can you do me a favor?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“Tell me how she's doing. And if it works out okay, I want to know.”
“You got it.”
At that, she returned the phone to Darryl, who also wished me luck before we ended the call.
I set the phone on the coffee table, resting my elbows on my knees and tunneling my hands through my hair with a ragged sigh. This was a doozy.
I didn't know what to do. I knew that if I told Mae before we had dinner, we would never have dinner. I didn't want to bring it up at dinner. I was going to have to wing it. I honestly had no idea how I was going to tell her what I knew. I felt beyond awful.