Chapter Twenty-Three ROWAN
Chapter Twenty-Three
ROWAN
Mae made us pancakes for breakfast. They were light and fluffy, and she sprinkled chocolate chips on them. The fact that she remembered I loved chocolate chip pancakes was more sweet than bitter. But there was definitely a tinge of bitter because I'd missed seven years with her.
Obviously, I couldn’t predict how things would’ve turned out, but I was pretty sure we would have stayed together. I loved her already. I just didn't know if she was ready for me to unload that on her.
We went from pancakes to her insisting that we should go for a walk even though it was snowing. Snow was floating from the sky in plump flakes, and she wanted me to see her favorite waterfall.
The day was beyond good. I hiked with her to see a small waterfall that poured over a cliff in the forest. It was definitely worth the twenty-minute hike into the frosty trees.
After the hike, we decided to swing by Firehouse Café for hot chocolate.
Mae promised me she would spike the hot chocolate when we got back to her place.
Janet was smiling at us when we reached the counter. “You two seem like you've known each other for a long time,” she commented.
Mae’s cheeks were tinged pink as she nodded and dipped her chin. “We were in college together.”
Janet's sharp gaze bounced back and forth between Mae and me before her smile flashed again. “Well, what can I get you?”
“Mae says I need to try your peppermint hot chocolate,” I replied.
“We need it to go because I'm spiking it,” Mae chimed in.
Janet's laughter rang out. “That's the way to do it. You know, I can serve alcohol after six.”
Mae glanced at her watch. It was five thirty. Just then, the bell over the door announced someone's arrival. Mae glanced back, and her flush deepened.
“Well, you're about to meet her parents. I hope you're ready,” Janet said, sotto voce.
Mae cast a faux glare at Janet, and Janet simply grinned. “I'll get those hot chocolates. Peppermint for both of you?”
At Mae’s nod, Janet turned and began prepping our drinks.
“Hi, sweetie,” the woman I presumed was Mae’s mother said as she stopped at her side and gave her a quick hug.
Although Mae’s mother's hair had faded from a honey blond to a more silvery shade, they shared similar coloring. Mae’s father cast me an alert look, but he waited patiently before stepping to Mae’s side and dropping a quick kiss on her cheek.
“This is Rowan,” Mae said, gesturing to me. “This is my mother, Barbara, and this is my father, Daniel.”
I shook both of their hands. “Nice to meet you both.”
Mae’s mother appeared almost bursting with excitement. I wasn't sure what she was going to do, and then suddenly, she hugged me. “It is so nice to meet you.”
Mae let out a soft sigh. “Mom, please don’t make this weird,” she pleaded.
Barbara waved her off. “This is your friend from college, right? You used to talk about Rowan all the time. You said you were going to bring him to Alaska, and then you never did.”
I could practically feel the tension vibrating from Mae.
Her eyes narrowed, and my gut clenched. She had the look she’d had the whole last month of that fated semester and the following year when I hardly ever saw her.
Her features were stiff—very careful, very controlled.
I knew without her telling me that she'd never told her parents what happened.
Although my heart was already broken and cracked wide open over what happened to her, this somehow made it hurt even more. I hated that she handled it alone.
“Well, he's here now,” Mae said brightly.
Janet handed me the hot chocolates. I had already put cash on the counter, and she snatched it up while Mae wasn't paying attention. “I'm a hotshot firefighter,” I explained when Mae’s mother asked me what I did.
Her father nodded as if he approved. “Plenty of those around here.”
“Very true.” With Willow Brook the base for three crews, the area had more than enough firefighters. Alaska needed firefighters because it was a big state, and much of the land had a high fire risk.
Mae’s parents hadn’t even looked toward Janet until Mae finally said, “Mom, it's your turn.”
“Oh!” Barbara squeaked while her father chuckled.
“Would you like to come to dinner?” her mother asked next as her father stepped to the counter.
“Mom,” Mae ground out, her tone laced with warning.
“I'd love to have dinner sometime if it's all right with Mae.”
When Mae looked at me, I could see the gratitude in her eyes as she mouthed, “Thank you,” over her shoulder.
“You just make your plans with Mae, and I’ll be there,” I offered. “I'll make sure she knows my schedule.”
“Excellent, excellent.” Her mother clasped her hands together in front of her chest, squeezing them together tightly.
“It was great to see you. We're going to go, Mom,” Mae piped up.
Her dad caught my eyes. “Good to meet you.”
“Yes, great to meet you both,” I replied.
After that, Mae practically dragged me out. “I’m so sorry,” she said hurriedly once we were outside. “My mom is enthusiastic, and she really wants me to date.”
An icy gust of wind blew Mae’s hair into a swirl. I slipped my hand through her elbow, and we hurried to my SUV. I’d left it running while we were in the café, so it was plenty warm. “It was nice to meet your parents, and you don’t need to apologize,” I said once we were inside.
“I know, but they kind of put you on the spot, so I’m sorry about that.”
I reached over and snagged her hand in mine. “Hey, that's okay. I'd love to have dinner with you and your parents.”
She eyed me dubiously.
“You don't get it, do you?”
“Get what?” she asked.
“I was pretty devastated when you stopped talking to me.
I get it now. I totally get it. But I missed you.
You were one of my best friends, and I thought it might be a lot more.
Then it wasn't. So being here in Alaska and finally reconnecting with you?
Well, I want to do everything with you. I want to meet your parents.
I want to have dinner. I want to go grocery shopping.
I want to hear you come home from work and be tired.
I want to argue about who's going to clean the toilet.
I want to persuade your cranky cat, who doesn't seem to like either one of us, to love me.”
Mae stared at me, and her mouth dropped open. She started blinking rapidly just before tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Hey, hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I leaned across the console, wrapping an arm around her. “Don't cry. Or maybe cry. Whatever. I don't want to tell you what to feel.”
I was a little dismayed because I didn't know what to do with a crying Mae. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you what happened,” she murmured into my chest.
My heart gave an achy thump. “You didn't have to tell me then or now.”
She lifted her head, and I nudged her chin up with my knuckles. “Yeah, but it sucks. I hate, I fucking hate, what happened.”
“I do too. If I could trade it and have it be something I did, I would, by the way. But I get it. Let's just focus on right now. We can’t change the past.”
She nodded jerkily, and I brushed her tears away with my thumb. I reached into my glove compartment, hoping there would be tissues there. “Fuck, I don’t have any tissues,” I muttered.
Mae giggled between sniffles. “You're not a tissue guy, Rowan. I have some in my purse.”
She reached down and snagged her purse off the floor, tugging some tissues out and blowing her nose.
“I need to say something.”
Her eyes whipped up to mine.
I managed to speak over the rush of blood in my ears with every beat of my heart. “I love you. I was in love with you then, but I didn’t understand it until it was too late.”
Her palm flew to her chest, and she took several shuddering breaths. “I loved you too, and I still do. I don't think I ever stopped.” She let out a deep sigh before her forehead fell to the curve of my neck. “We lost a lot of time.” I felt the motion of her lips on my collarbone.
“We can’t change the past, Mae. Maybe this time, we'll get it right. We were pretty young back then. We could have totally fucked it up.”
She lifted her head. “I don't think so. We were really close.”
My heart was still drumming fast, and joy was rushing with every beat. “I know. That's why I was afraid to tell you I totally had it bad for you.” She smiled. “I had it so bad for you. Still do, by the way, even when the timing isn't right.”
“What do you mean? We got the timing right this time.”
“I mean, this is kind of a heavy conversation, and my body isn’t getting the memo.” I placed her hand over my swollen and aching arousal.
Her eyes went wide. “Oh,” she breathed. “Well, we’d better hurry home. Hurry.” She elbowed me in the side.
“Don't worry, it's not going anywhere. We're going back to your house, and you’re going to spike this hot chocolate because I want to enjoy that first.”
Mae cast me a sly grin, her palm stroking over my arousal. “We can always reheat it.”
I meant what I said back when we were leaving Firehouse Café, but Mae had other ideas, and she was persuasive. As soon as we were in her house, her cat eyed both of us for a moment from the back of the living room couch before walking out slowly, tail held high and twitching.
Mae crossed to the kitchen and set our hot chocolates on the counter after she kicked off her boots and hung up her jacket. I was following her to the kitchen when she met me halfway and pressed her palm on my chest.
“I meant what I said.”
“What?” I countered, a little slow to catch up.
She dragged her palm over my still hard cock.
Because she was Mae, and I was me, and it was near impossible to turn the dial down on my lust. It had been bottled up for too long.
Not to say that I'd been chaste, but I hadn't been serious with anyone.
Every time I considered something other than casual, Mae was always in the back of my mind while I wondered what had happened with us.
She was the spark. Just her. I sucked my breath in when she bit her lip and looked up at me. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the cold.
“I meant what I said too,” I protested, trying to rally my discipline. It was a weak argument.
Mae grinned. “Your mouth says one thing, but your body says another.”
In a hot second, she was unbuttoning my jeans. Her cool palm slid into my boxers, the shock of her touch making my cock leap under it.
“Fuck, Mae,” I gasped.
She giggled, murmuring, “Here, let me warm you up.”
Her warm mouth closed over the tip of my cock, and her tongue swirled around it while she shoved my jeans down around my hips.
Then there she was, kneeling in front of me and angling her head to glance up.
The sly, dark gleam in her eyes sent desire zipping through me hot and fast. It was always there on low simmer around her.
She turned the flame up on high and poured gasoline on it.
She said something—hell if I knew what—and I felt the vibration of it around my cock when she took me in her mouth. This time when her palm gripped me, it was warm, and she teased me until my control was frayed. I tried to regain it, but she was having none of it.
“Come on, Rowan,” she whispered.
“Mae!” I choked out.
She paused and leaned back, releasing my cock with a little pop. “Just give me this,” she said, seeming to enjoy having me at her mercy.
It wasn't like I could refuse anything Mae wanted.
So, when she dragged her tongue slowly along the underside of my cock before taking me in her mouth again, my release came in a rush.
As I clung to her hair, she drank me down.
I was still trembling from the force of my climax when she sat back on her heels, looking up with a satisfied grin.
I tugged her to her feet, and we stumbled across the room, one kiss blurring into the next. I meant to take it slow, but that was a major challenge with her. It didn't take much for me to be ready all over again.
Before I knew it, I was sliding her jeans down over her hips, and her round bottom was tempting me with a glimpse of pink glistening at the apex of her thighs. I teased my fingers there, finding her slick and hot.
“Fuck, Mae,” I choked out.
“Well, you could just do that.” She glanced over her shoulder.
This version of Mae with her guard down, teasing and saucy, was so much more than I expected. My heart kicked hard in my chest. I leaned over, pressing a kiss to that sweet spot just below her ear, savoring how she shivered and let out a little whimper when I sank two fingers inside her.