Chapter 20 #2
Nyx reaches across the table and grabs my wrist—his hand isn't as huge as Cole's, but it's rougher than cinderblock and even the light, friendly squeeze comes with a twinge of pain, so strong is his grip.
"I've looked for it, Lace. The look. When I knew he was with someone else, I looked for that smirk.
I never once saw it. That's not just any look, sweetheart, it's your look.
It's the Lacey's Magic Smile." His tone gives the phrase capital letters
Cole's irritation melts at Nyx's explanation. "Well, when you put it that way."
"I have a question," I hear someone ask—Cadence, Riley's fiancée. "Lacey's Magic Smile. But is it Lacey’s as in a possessive, or Lacey’s as in a contraction of Lacey is?"
Riley's expression, when he turns it on her, is the sweetest, most tender thing I've ever seen. "Bit of both?"
Cadence wrinkles her nose. "I do not think that is a possibility. Grammar does not work in that fashion."
"It’s a quantum physics thing, then," Nyx says. "It's both and neither at the same time."
"I am not an expert in quantum physics,” Cadence says, “but I do not believe that is how that works, either."
"Sure it is," Nyx says. "It's both, and neither until you decide which one it is to you. To me, it’s a contraction. Lacey is magic, and that magic is what puts that particular smile on Cole's usually grumpy face."
Cole huffs. "I'm not grumpy. Felix was grumpy. I am not grumpy."
I frown. "Felix? Grumpy? Since when? Why?"
“Oh, well, he’s not anymore," Nyx says. "Not since Sparky showed up and fixed his ass."
"I didn't fix anything," Ember says. "And he wasn't grumpy, he was hurting. You men are just too emotionally stunted to know the difference."
"Hey,” Nyx says. "I resemble that remark."
"Nyx?” Cadence says slowly, her voice making it a question. "Does that not mean you are emotionally stunted?"
He winks at her. "Can't put anything by you, Doc."
I sigh. "Doc?"
“Oh, yes." Cadence gives a little shrug. "I am a medical doctor."
"I feel like there's so much I don't know," I grumble. "I'm gonna be catching up on things for forever." I look at Felix. "For example, why was he grumpy?”
"It's…" Felix looks at his wife, then at me. "It's a long story. And not a happy one, except for the ending."
Cole leans forward. “Who’s watching Ella?"
I clear my throat. "And who is Ella?"
"Ella is our daughter," Ember answers, and then addresses Cole's question. "Layla and Laney are with her. Ella loves them more than just about anyone but Fee and me."
I notice both the giant named Bear and Noelle are silent through all this. "Noelle, I know you, but Bear, we haven't met. I'm Lacey."
"Nice to meet you, Lacey," Bear says, his voice a rumble so deep I'm surprised the table doesn't rattle. His grip when he shakes my outstretched hand is surprisingly gentle.
Noelle smiles brightly. "Nice to officially meet you, sort of."
Riley looks from her to me and back. "I suppose I just assumed you two knew each other. I’m sorry."
"She was a freshman when I was a junior," I tell him. "I recognize her, and I knew her by name and face, but we didn't know each other. I was friendly with but not friends with her sisters. How are Nikki and Natasha, anyway?"
Noelle gives a little shrug. "Oh, they're good. Nik is an evening anchor for Channel Four News and Nat is a pediatric resident at the hospital."
"Nik a news anchor? That's unsurprising, honestly. Didn't she host the school news show?"
Noelle nods, laughing. "She wanted to be a news lady her whole life. Mom and Dad say she used to set up a pretend news desk in the living room and make everyone sit and listen while she read news stories about her stuffed animals."
"So she achieved her dream. Good for her!"
Noelle nods again. "She really wants to be on CNN. That's her big dream. She'll get there—she's nothing if not tenacious."
I turn my attention to Bear. "And you, Bear. Tell me about yourself."
He shrugs. "Not much to say."
Noelle sighs. "He's not much for talking about himself.
" She clings to his one gigantic arm with both of hers, gazing up at him with such adoration it’s almost saccharine.
"He was wrongly incarcerated for ten years.
Riley's program got him out of prison and gave him a life here in Three Rivers.
And now he's Felix's foreman, and he's in training to become a master carpenter. " She looks as proud as she sounds.
Bear rolls one massive shoulder. "Went in for manslaughter. Buddy did it but I got caught and he didn’t.
I like to say that I got convicted of a crime I didn’t commit, but the time I served is for the other crimes I did commit that I just didn't get caught doin'.
" He gazes down at Noelle with the same love and adoration as she showed.
"Don't regret a second I spent inside, because it brought me to her. "
I smile at him. "That's amazing." I glance at Riley. "What's the program?"
Silence.
Riley shifts in his seat, lets out a long sigh. "Forgot you were gone by the time that happened."
"By the time what happened?" I ask, looking around.
"Lacey, maybe—" Cole starts.
Riley swirls the shot glass on the table.
"Shots first, since we never did them. For real, this time.
" He points his shot glass at me and Cole in a single gesture.
"To you guys. May you find the peace and happiness in each other that you both deserve.
""Hear! Hear!" Everyone says in not-quite-unison.
"Lacey and Cole!" Riley says, and then shoots the whiskey.
Cole and I take the shots, but I can tell he’s as weirded out and uncomfortable as I am. It's good to know they support us, though.
"So." Riley meets my eyes. "The story."
"Rye, you don't have to," I say. "I'm sorry if I stepped on something sensitive."
He shakes his head, giving me a rare, serious smile.
"No, it's okay. It was a long time ago and I've made my peace with it.
" His gaze flicks to Cadence, who has his arm wrapped up in hers, and she's gazing up at him and nuzzling his arm with her cheek—the movement is very feline, and pretty damned adorable.
"Thanks to her, mostly." He looks at me, then.
"You left in November—no, wait, December?
November or December. Had to be November because you missed the game that qualified us for regionals.
Well, that spring, there was a kegger out on Ernie Henstrom's north forty.
I'm sure you remember what those parties were like. "
I nod. "Chaos. Lots of bad decisions happened at those parties."
"This one more than most," he mutters. "I got hammered, as you do, but I got behind the wheel."
My chest squeezes. "Oh god, Rye. No."
"Yup." His eyes go vacant, and I can tell that this is, despite his claim, something he will never be entirely over.
"I was blackout wasted. I hit and killed a seventy-five-year-old woman named Ellen Johnson.
I spent four years at Holbrook, the same place Bear was, actually.
We were actually in at the same time, just different blocks.
Anyway, I…when I got out, y'know, I was…
a mess. Convicted of vehicular manslaughter, the kid who killed sweet old Ellen Johnson.
No one would hire me. Couldn't get a car, couldn't get a job, couldn't get a place.
" He looks at Felix, and I see a wealth of emotion that, knowing both men, is understood but likely never spoken of in so many words.
Or rarely. "Fee put me up. Gave me work.
It was…honestly, putting my life back together after that was hell on earth, Lace.
It's all stacked against you, as an ex-con. Incarceration fucks with you."
"Fuckin' A, it does," Bear grumbles.
"But more than that, you're…there's this all-pervading judgment from just about everyone. In a small town like this, at least. Can’t vote.
Can't do a lot of shit, even though I did my time and learned my lesson.
Even still, some folks around here still only see me as the eighteen-year-old punk who killed Ellen.
" He waves a hand. "No less than I deserve, and they have a right to their opinion. "
"Riley runs a state-sanctioned work-release program in conjunction with Crowe Demolitions," Cadence says.
"The warden and guards at Holbrook send him recommendations of inmates who show signs of wanting to truly reform.
Riley interviews them, makes his selections, and then those inmates come to work for him for a specified period of time, under specific terms and conditions.
After those terms are met, the inmate is recommended for parole.
Upon release, they continue working for Riley, and he assists them in setting up their lives so they may be successful and avoid recidivism. "
"Got me a place, got me wheels, got me clothes," Bear adds. "Gave me a life. That program saved my life."
"I dunno about that," Riley says. "I just want to help people like me."
Bear shakes his head. "I wouldn't have survived twenty-five years in prison, Rye. I was dying on the inside after ten. I may not have physically died, but my spirit? Nah. I'd been a husk by the time I got out."
"I missed a lot," I whisper. To Riley, then. "Well, it seems to me like you've turned your life around, Riley. You should be proud of yourself."
He shrugs. "Sometimes."
"We all are," Felix says, reaching past Cadence to grip his brother's shoulder.
I know it's my turn, now.
I look at Cole, and I can see the understanding on his face. "I got nothing to hide from these people," he murmurs for my ears only. "You tell what you're ready to tell."
The table as a whole seems to sense the subject even if they can't hear what we're saying—everyone is silent, waiting.