Chapter 8
RILEY
Cadence pulls back, sobbing.
Guilt craters the ecstasy of mere moments before. I see tears sliding down her cheeks, and hate myself for putting them there. "I'm so sorry, Cadence," I whisper, swiping tears with my thumbs. "I shouldn't have let things go so far."
Her head jerks up, and she looks at me, surprised through her tears.
"No!" She covers my mouth with her palm.
"Please do not say that." She rests her forehead against the back of her hand, which is over my mouth.
"You keep apologizing for things that I…I…” she pauses.
"The correct and appropriate word eludes me.
" She inhales, holds it, lets it out, rolling her head against her hand.
"Crave. Enjoy—no, need. Things which I have dreamed about, the reality of which so greatly surpasses my dreams that I can scarce believe this is real. "
I pull back a hint, slide her hand to my cheek. "I thought I’d pushed you into…" I shake my head. "I thought you were upset that I was touching you. Your first kiss, ever, and here I am groping you. I should know better."
Her cheeks flame. "I am not upset."
"You're cryin', though."
"I…ugh!" she groans, sniffling, and nuzzles her warm nose and hot, wet tears into my throat.
"Sometimes, when I have so many thoughts and feelings that I do not know how to process them, the only way I am able to express it all is through crying.
" She pulls back, looking up at me with wet, deep, green eyes, and she trails the pads of her fingers over my cheekbones, down my nose, across my lips, almost how a blind person would.
"In this case, there is an added emotion, or rather an added web of emotions, and very potent ones at that. "
All I want to do is take her mouth again. Fuck, so damn sweet, the way she kisses. Tender, eager, hesitant, gentle, hungry. And the gasps and whimpers? Fucking hammer to the gut, takes my breath away, and leaves my cock hard enough to drive railroad stakes.
And then there's her ass. Fuck me. Underneath the loose, flowing cotton dress, the girl has the ass of a goddess.
"Riley?" She says my name like she'd already tried to get my attention.
I shake my head. "Sorry, sorry."
"Where was your mind, just now?"
I grin, shaking my head. "Not sure I should say."
“Well, now you simply must," she says, frowning up at me. "My curiosity demands it."
"Cadence, I don't wanna scare you or scandalize you."
Her eyebrows arch. "Scandalize me? Why, Riley Crowe, what were you thinking about so intently?"
I slip my hands around the small of her back and pull her flush against me.
Instead of the truth, though, I chicken out.
"I was thinkin' that I'm not sure I believe you've never been kissed before, 'cause you took my damn breath away, sweetheart.
And all I can think about is kissing you again… and again…and again."
Her blushing cheeks are apple red. "Riley, I do not believe for an instant that that is all you were thinking."
"No," I admit. "But I was thinkin' it."
"Tell me the rest please." She gazes up at me, her expression pleading. "I must know."
I skim my hands through the wild strawberry mass of her curls, dip at the knees, and kiss the side of her throat.
She giggles, writhing away. "That tickles!"
I kiss her throat, her cheekbones, her eyes, the corner of her jaw, and she giggles, but the giggles turn breathy and aroused, and she tilts her face away, literally physically melting into me as I kiss her.
Finally, she pushes me away only to grab my shirtfront in her fists. "Riley, you cannot distract me with kisses."
I laugh and kiss her mouth until she gives me that whimper again. "Beg to differ, gorgeous."
"Diabolical, I tell you," she grumbles. "Riley. Please tell me what you were going to say. It will drive me mad if you do not."
I sigh. "Fine, fine. Don't say I didn't warn you." I tip her chin up so she has to look at me. "I was thinking that your ass is…" I trail off with a growl, shaking my head. "Goddamned epic."
She lets out a shrill whimper of dismay, clinging to my shoulders and slumping against me, burying her face in my chest. "Oh." Her voice is tiny. "Epic?"
"Epic."
"That is…good? Right?"
I burst out laughing. "Yes, Cadence. It means you have an absolutely magnificent ass, and I was thinking that I…gah." I tip my head back and groan. "I'm gonna corrupt you, sweet girl."
"Riley."
"No."
"Riley." More insistent, now. “You what?"
"I'm just very, very attracted to you, that's all."
She swallows hard, looking at me as if summoning courage. "The feeling is mutual." Her eyes skim my face and catch at my mouth, and her hands grip my shoulders with surprising strength. "Thank you, Riley."
I let out a huff of shocked, confused laughter. "For what? Complimenting your ass?"
Her cheeks go so red it's a miracle they don't burst into flames. "I have never received a compliment on that portion of my anatomy before, so yes." She frowns. "I have never received a compliment on any portion of my anatomy, come to think of it."
"Well, that's a goddamn national tragedy," I quip.
She rolls her eyes at me. "That is a rather extreme exaggeration." Serious, once more. "That is not what I was thanking you for, however."
"Can't think of any reason for you to be thanking me,” I say.
"My first kiss, Riley," she whispers. "I know I am not like other girls, but I…
I have dreamed of my first kiss my whole life.
I have waited and waited for the right person to come along.
The right situation. I have…" she looks down, voice dropping.
"I have been bitterly disappointed, more than once.
Someone I thought…well, that does not bear repeating at this time.
The point is that I have built up my first kiss in my mind until it became this mythical, fairytale thing.
I was so certain that when…if…I ever did receive a kiss, it would not match my absurdist fantasy. "
My heart pounds. My palms sweat. "Cadence, I…"
Her fingers, warm and dry and small and clever, touch my lips, silencing me.
"Please. I…" she looks into my eyes for a moment.
"Nothing could have prepared me for how it felt to be kissed by you, Riley Crowe.
You surpassed anything I could have imagined.
So…thank you. You have made this lonely, neurodivergent girl's heart very, very glad indeed. "
My eyes burn—what the fuck? I clear my throat, mindfucked by her words. "Cade—" My voice cracks and breaks. “Cadence, good lord. I dunno what to say. It was just—"
That hand again, clapping over my mouth. "If you say it was just a kiss, I will be eviscerated. Truly. It was not just a kiss. Not for me. It meant something to me." She drops her gaze and removes her hand. "I know it cannot have meant as much to you as it did—"
I silence her with a kiss, lips only, no tongue, and I kiss her until she starts to melt, and then I pull away, destroyed all over again by the stunned, awed look on her face, the wonder in her eyes. "It meant something to me, too, Cadence."
Silence, then, in which Cadence rests her forehead on my chest and just breathes, and I desperately resist the all-consuming temptation to fill my hands with her utterly magnificent ass.
"May I tell you a secret, Riley?" she breathes, finally, looking up at me with her chin on my chest. And my god, is she cute when she does that. Sexy-cute, but cute.
"Anything."
"I quite enjoyed it, shocked though I was, when you put your hands on my…" a long hesitation. "My bottom." This is a whisper so quiet I can barely hear it.
"I shouldn't have," I say. "You're a…a church girl.
A good girl. Innocent. Sweet and pure and kind and…
and everything I'm not, and I put my hands on you like that?
" I shake my head. "I just couldn't help myself.
I know church girls believe in waiting for marriage, and all that.
And honest, Cadence, I'd never, ever want you to think that I… that all I—"
"I am not a church girl, Riley," she interrupts, softly but firmly.
"Then I'm confused."
"I struggle with organized religion. It is a very complex topic for me.
My parents are believers, obviously. But when they felt the call to Africa, it was…
deeply personal. It was not about a church.
And it has never been about a church for me.
My faith is a personal thing, Riley. It is about faith, not obligation.
I do not speak of it frequently or freely, because I do not see the necessity.
I believe my life should illustrate my beliefs.
I have rarely attended any church, and I do not see that changing.
My fundraising is largely through corporate sponsors from the medical industry who use it for tax purposes, with a few large donations from individuals, like the Crenshaws. It does not come from a church."
"Oh."
"I appreciate your…willingness to respect my beliefs, however."
"So…waiting for marriage…?"
“Is not a belief I ascribe to," she says.
"Marriage is a social construct—a human-created ceremony, and a legal status.
It is not what defines a relationship. I do believe that the physical expression of love through sexual congress is sacred.
I do not believe it is meant to be shared casually or flippantly.
This is only my belief, however. Others may do as they wish.
I just…It is not something I will be able to…
do…with just anyone. Do you understand?"
"Yeah," I answer, my heart heavy. "I read you loud and clear."
She peers at me. "I wonder if we are understanding this the same. Somehow, I do not think so."