Chapter 19
CADENCE
Riley is a huge presence, all hard planes and harsh angles and soft skin and rippling muscle. Some part of me still cannot believe a man like him is mine. I've never been more glad to have an eidetic memory than in this moment—I'll be able to relive this forever.
His arm is a pillar beside my ear as he braces above me, and his hips are a hard wedge between my thighs. I grip him with my legs—to hide the way I tremble.
But then I let go. I let him see it. Feel it.
Let him feel the way my thighs shake at his presence.
"You're shaking," he whispers, concern filling his ice-blue eyes.
"Yes. But I am not afraid. I promise.”
I have never wanted anything the way I want this.
Never been more ready than I am for this.
Even so, I am nervous. Shaky with excitement, with anticipation.
I do not know what to expect. If it will hurt.
I have heard that it does, but I am not afraid of a little pain.
Not when I know it will be temporary, and followed by…
well, what I can only hope will be pleasure that makes it worthwhile.
He hesitates another moment, reading me. He must see the truth in my eyes—I am ready.
He reaches between us, grips his erection, guides himself to me.
Despite it all, I feel a frisson of fear as his manhood nudges my sex—this is it.
After this, I will no longer be a virgin.
I will be a woman. His woman. And I only lied a little—there is a tiny bit of fear at the prospect of pain when he enters me.
I am panting, I discover, short, sharp, shallow breaths.
Riley is not breathing at all, however, his brow furrowed in concentration, in restraint.
I feel his fingers at my sex, stroking my labia.
His touch is gentle, soft, reassuring. And then he fits a finger to my clitoris, and I jump, gasping, at the sudden bolt of intense sensation, and the fear subsides as he begins touching me, oh-so-slowly, oh-so-gently, oh-so-softly.
Circles, circles, and my hips tighten and my belly heats, and the dregs of fear are burned away in the heat of renewed arousal.
I gasp as pleasure fills me, swelling the ocean of heat behind my navel, the crushing balloon of pressure behind my sex. I feel my orgasm rising, and I close my eyes and go to meet it, fling myself headlong into ecstasy.
As I quake and shake and shudder through my climax, I feel Riley grip himself again, and his thumb presses against my seam, and then he's aligned with my entrance.
"Cadie, my love, eyes on me, sweetheart," Riley commands.
My eyes flick open in immediate obedience, and I focus on him, panting and whimpering as my climax keeps me shuddering and shaking and helplessly gyrating. "Riley," I whisper. "Oh god."
And then it happens.
My eyes fly wide as he enters me. My mouth fixes in a shocked, breathless O, and my entire being—the entire universe—shrinks and narrows and tunnels down into the single point where we are joined.
His cock—I feel a giggle bubble through me as I think the word, feeling deliciously naughty and wickedly wanton in the best possible way—is notched inside me, splitting open my sex.
"Oh!" I gasp, a soft, high breath.
"Okay?" he murmurs.
I nod. "Yes. yes. I…" I clutch the hard bubble of his bottom, digging my nails in—he doesn't seem to mind, and indeed, it seems to arouse him when I do that. It arouses me, so it suits us both.
He shakes all over, my big, handsome Riley. Trembling in restraint. But I cannot wish this to go faster. I want to relish each second. I memorize the look on his face, the feel of his cock just inside my entrance. The tension in his body—he's quivering, his mighty muscles bunched.
And then he drives a little deeper, and a gasp is torn from me as I am filled that much more. It does hurt a little—his cock is so huge, and I feel stretched beyond my limits, an aching burn as my body struggles to accommodate this new sensation.
A flutter of panic ripples through me:
What if I cannot handle all of him?
What if it hurts too much?
What if my vagina is not big enough for him?
But then, as he holds stone-still following the second push, I understand the process.
My body is adjusting. I feel the burn subside as my sex stretches around him, and the ache is all that is left—the ache of need, the ache of an orgasm I must build up to.
The ache of an orgasm only Riley can give me.
I tighten my grip on his bottom as I feel myself growing used to the feel of him inside me—the alien fullness, the aching burn.
It is strange, but so was kissing, at first. So was the way it felt when he touched my sex with his fingers the first time, and made me come for the first time with his mouth.
It was strange when I touched his cock for the first time.
And all of those things I have come to love—to crave.
So too will I come to crave this, I know.
For now, I must focus on the moment.
He shakes above me, panting, sweating.
"Riley?" I breathe. "Are you…are you okay?"
"Yeah," he growls. "Just—”
"Just what? Tell me."
"Trying like hell to go slow, to be gentle. I know I'm a pretty big guy and I don't wanna hurt you."
I caress his cheek, his beard. “You aren't. I promise." I meet him for a kiss. "Keep going."
With a ragged growl, Riley arches over me, dipping his head to my breasts, pausing for breath.
And then he pushes a little deeper—gives me a little more of him, and now the ache of stretching around him is a hot burn of muscles and stretched flesh, and my whole body is shaking and all I know is his cock, the way it feels filling me.
Another nudge, and I whimper—he freezes. I claw at his backside, pull at him. Words fail me, but that he understands.
"Okay?" he breathes.
I can only nod, gasping. "More," I pant. "All."
His mouth fuses to mine and his tongue sweeps against mine, and he cups my face in his free hand, hooks his fingers under my head and lifts me to kiss me deeper, harder, and I give myself to the kiss, lose myself in it, and now the ache of taking him isn't pain any longer but a pleasure unlike anything I've ever known.
Riley snarls into the kiss and thrusts deeper, and now his hips bump against mine, and I've taken all of him.
"Cadie," he whispers, his voice shaky. "Fuck. So…so tight." He shakes above me, and I am filled with him.
"Riley!" I breathe. "Ohhh…oh god!"
He rears back to look into my eyes. "Okay, my love?"
I answer him with a kiss, feeling a wildness burgeoning inside me—a kind of fury, but one of love, of need, of desire. I am filled with his cock, and I quake around him, my sex rippling around his thickness. I feel it pulsing inside me, throbbing. I need more. I need him to…I know not what.
But I do know; my body knows.
I fuse my mouth to his and devour his breath and give my body free rein. My hips tip, push toward his. This makes him groan, and he shudders, arching.
"Fuck!” he snarls. "I need to move."
"Show me, Riley. I'm ready. You feel—"
He nips my lip. "Tell me how I feel inside you, Cadence."
"Perfect," I whisper. "Too good for words. But I need more."
"Ah god, thank fuck," he breathes. "Fucking torture trying to stay still." He adjusts his weight, kisses me, cups my breast…
Tilts his hips away so his cock slides through my stretched-thin lips, pulling out and out and out…I think I am going to lose him, but he stops at the last instant, and now we are back at the beginning again, just the plump head of his beautiful cock inside me.
And this time, when he enters me, it is a slow, smooth stroke. All at once, I take all of him, and now…now I understand.
I understand why people become obsessed with this act. I understand why it is called “making love."
I whimper as Riley drives into me, and I tilt my hips to meet him, gleefully accelerating our union—there is only ecstasy, now, only the wild thrill of oneness.
I hook my feet around his backside and use them to pull him to me, lifting my bottom off the bed to crush upward into his thrust, and I cling to him with one arm around the broad cliff-face of his shoulders and plaster my other hand to his nape, clutching tensing tendons.
He withdraws once again, and my entire being seems to clench in protest at the loss of him within me, making me crave desperately the fullness of having him inside me.
I wail as he crushes into me without hesitation, arching and driving to take him, and I feel my body clutch around his cock, feel the tight heat swell and surge, expanding from my belly and sex, making my thighs shake around his waist and my arms tingle and my hands tremble.
"Cadie—Cadence," he gasps, sounding shaken, awed, overwhelmed. "You feel…fuck, you feel incredible." He braces both hands beside my face, levered over me, his eyes boring into mine. "You're so goddamned beautiful, Cadence."
I reach up and hold his jaw in my hands and hold his eyes for as long as I can, refusing to look away, to blink, to breathe as he slides into me, withdraws and slides in again, and now I feel him find a rhythm and I pump my hips against him, gasping each time he fills me and whimpering as I lose him—gasp…
whimper, gasp…whimper. He groans as he thrusts, and each groan becomes a growl timed to his movements, and our sounds of exertion and ecstasy become a song, a symphony of sighs.
The heat and tightness and pressure and desperation is fire in my veins, and as Riley strokes inside me in slow, deliberate rhythm, I feel a new kind of orgasm rising inside me, this one slow and deep and gripping my body with relentless fury, stoked by Riley's cock sliding inside me, filling me, stretching me, cruising against my clit and sending sparks bursting behind my eyes.
Riley shudders, now, his muscles quavering and quaking as he pulses inside me, pushing deep and thrusting deeper, grunting roughly with each push.
He needs more. He is holding back out of concern for me.