Chapter 34
JO
The water is freezing, but the shower is just what I needed. I stand under the spigot for longer than necessary, just letting the water pour down my face and soak into my hair. It feels like a ritual cleansing of some sort after last night.
I could have run once Acker had walked out of the tavern. Likely should have, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
But his kiss.
It was all-consuming. No longer me or him, just us, as we gave in to the desire. For a few sweet seconds, it was pure need. Only for me to be blindsided by the onslaught of his emotions.
I never knew the true extent of what the Bond allowed him to sense from me, but it’s apparent my emotions have been more readily available to him than my thoughts ever were. He wanted to give me the same in return.
The hurt and love and desperation …
All of it was too much.
Overwhelming, even as I recall it now. And as cathartic as it is to know I was wrong in my assumption that Acker never loved me, it doesn’t erase my anger. He’s been against me for so long. I can’t help but wonder what ulterior motives there are that I can’t see. What he didn’t share.
The marks around my hands and wrists are physical reminders of his transgressions. Marrying Irina, spying on me, sending the Strou to my lands to kill my people. All things he’s proven to be plenty capable of while still loving me. Showing me his cards feels like a very convenient distraction.
I wring out my hair and braid it before putting my tunic back on.
The rest of my clothes I wash under the spray as best I can, then hang them over the door to dry.
I check to make sure no one is in the hallway before I hurry back to my room.
There, I am surprised to find fresh clothes folded at the foot of my bed.
I’m shivering, skin prickling with the cold, and I waste no time getting dressed.
I’m pleased with how well the riding pants and linen shirt fit.
I shove my dagger into the waistband of my pants before heading downstairs, following the voices to the kitchen.
I recognize Wells’s voice first. “Can we trust her?”
Fredrich’s comes next. “Absolutely not.”
“Then what—”
Acker hushes Irina before she can finish speaking and they all turn to look at me when I step through the doorway.
The kitchen is long and narrow, without windows.
Candles line the shelves above the prep station, where used bowls and utensils were left out by the missing cooks, pots still sitting on the wood stove against the far wall.
The four of them are nestled around the butcher-block table in the center of the room and my eyes go straight to the meal they’re sharing.
My hollow stomach clenches and I can’t remember the last decent meal I had.
Fredrich is the first to speak. “Good afternoon,” he says.
Afternoon? “What time is it?”
“A smidge past one,” he says, holding up his fingers in a pinch.
It was light by the time my mind finally turned off, but I don’t usually sleep longer than a few hours at most. My eyes lock with Acker’s and the tether hums at our close proximity. I’m concerned the kiss we shared may have encouraged the Bond somehow.
Slowly, Acker’s dark gaze trails down the length of my body. Accessing my newly acquired outfit, I presume. There’s nothing scandalous about the simple garments, but it doesn’t stop a blush from trying to creep into my cheeks.
Put me out of my misery.
The desperate man from last night is nothing but a distant memory.
This is the Acker I’m accustomed to, the one who’s self-assured and daring enough to not care about the two other men in the room when he looks at me with heat in his gaze.
Or his wife, for that matter. It somehow lessens the pressure in my chest.
I know how to handle this Acker.
Irina’s eyes flick from her husband’s profile to me, and back again.
Acker left the tavern not long after trying to …
recruit me? Or maybe he really was trying to end his own life.
Who the hell knows? Whatever his end goal, he failed, and it was late into the night before he would have returned to her bed.
I try to conjure a sense of guilt for kissing her husband, but it doesn’t come.
Out of all of my transgressions in this life, I’m afraid it doesn’t hold a candle to the worst of them.
My eyes stick on the gash under the hinge of his jaw. It’s no longer bleeding, but it isn’t healing as it should, either.
“Come eat,” he says, with a tilt of his chin.
The plethora of dried meats and cheeses on the table draws me in. Fredrich shifts his stool over to make room for me, and I give him my thanks as I reach for a piece of cheese.
A shocked grin pulls at Wells’s mouth. “Take the girl out of restraints and she remembers her manners all of a sudden.”
Layering a slice of meat on top of a square of cheese, I pop it into my mouth, then follow it with a bite of bread.
It’s stale and instantly dries out my mouth, making it difficult to swallow.
Grinning, Fredrich slides over a waterskin.
I thank him, but it comes out as a mumbled mess before I take a drink.
“Okay,” Wells says, “maybe manners was a bit generous.”
I make an obscene gesture with the hand I’m not using to pick out the best bits of cheese.
“Now that we’re all here,” Acker says, running a hand across his jaw, “we need to discuss our next course of action.”
“I thought you were all in agreement that I’m not to be trusted,” I say between bites.
No one refutes my statement.
“There’s not a person at this table I trust,” he says. When everyone turns their offended gazes on him, he leans back in his seat and raises his hands defensively. “Not even myself.”
I stop mid-chew, stunned by his admission.
“I misled you into believing I went to Maile in a bid to seek an alliance, and while that is partially true, my father believes I went to retrieve my sister.”
“Ace,” Fredrich says, voice mixed with disbelief and anger.
Acker ignores him, continuing as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “My father currently holds the magic of three gifts: fire, kinesis, and influence. At least, those are the ones I was made aware of when he was actively trying to manipulate me into pursuing Beau for her gift.”
I swallow. “How were you able to resist it?”
“I’m not sure I did.” Acker’s eyes fall to the table for a beat before he looks back at me.
“I wanted to kill him just moments before. He knew it, too, and yet … I didn’t.
It might have been the mangi stones I was wearing that shielded me from some of the influence, but I suspect he’s either weaker than he wants me to believe, or he’s being very careful not to overdo it and tip his hand. ”
“Fucking hell,” Fredrich says, blowing out a large breath.
“That’s where he believes you are now,” I say. “Retrieving Beau?” His gaze slides to Irina, and I wiggle a finger around the table. “Circle of non-trust, remember?”
Acker’s eyes darken with something I don’t like. “Before I share any more of my secrets, why don’t we share one of yours?” There’s a poignant beat before his stare shifts to the man beside me.
The smile on Wells’s face looks unnatural on him. Too reckless. “How’d you figure it out?”
“It was a number of things,” Acker says, leaning an elbow on the table.
“The first was the fact that Wells would be hard-pressed to leave his Match in the first place, let alone now that she’s pregnant.
Then there’s your scent. Wells smells like scorched iron and bergamot. You, Messer, smell like a wet dog.”
Fredrich makes a face. “What?”
Pulling a dagger from the strap on his chest, Acker twirls it in his hand. “But the biggest giveaway was when you refused to light a flame to keep us warm. If you had known anything about Wells, it’s that he hates the cold.”
“If you knew this whole time, why didn’t you say anything?” I ask Acker.
“Because he’s had ample opportunity to rescue you, and didn’t,” he says, eyes holding mine. “I figured at worst he could provide another level of protection.”
For me, he means.
Wells’s eyes meet mine. Or, I suppose I should say, Messer looks at me, because it’s clearly not Wells behind the brown irises.
“It was a long shot,” he says, voice distorting, the inflection sounding more like himself than the man he’s been mimicking.
Standing, he toes off his boots and stretches his arms out to his sides, shaking them.
He shifts before our eyes. Taller by two, then three inches, hair curling out at the ends.
Brown eyes swirl to blue as his facial features rearrange into something more familiar to me.
The cracking of bones and cartilage makes the whole ordeal sound painful.
At least he’s able to remain dressed, given that Wells’s stature isn’t too different from his normal size.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Irina groans, covering her mouth.
Fredrich also stands from his seat and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him truly unsettled. “Good gods,” he murmurs. “Since when can shifters replicate humans?”
“According to the old texts, only the most powerful ones are able to do so. Such as one capable of maintaining their shifted form over the open sea.” Acker uses the dagger to point at my friend. “Cocky of you to think you could get away with it twice. The both of you,” he says, eyes straying to me.
I wasn’t aware the first time.
“How the fu—” Fredrich stops and shakes his head, thoroughly floored by this turn of events. “How’d you know I was planning on taking her?”