Chapter 2 Kaelen
Kaelen
I’m going to slam his head into the fucking wall.
Don’t do that. You’ll regret it later.
The calm voice that interrupts my internal tirade sounds suspiciously like Eres, although to my knowledge he lacks the ability to push his views directly into my head—no matter how much he acts like it.
I studiously avoid looking in his direction, but I know that I’ll be able to read the same words in his face.
With some effort, I meet the gaze of the oily, shadow-wreathed male that sits across the circular, engraved table instead.
Nythen sounds cool, his face expressionless as he sits straight-backed in his chair.
The shadows he prefers to keep out at all times shroud him, creating a border of darkness.
He might think it makes him look threatening, but I think it makes him look like a cock. “I meant no disrespect.”
“If you believe the latest reports to paint such a dire picture for Umbraxis, Nythen,” I hiss the words between clenched teeth. “Then perhaps your blessed house might like to send more soldiers to support those of us who actually join the battlefield.”
That incites some reaction. A tic feathers in his jaw before he smooths away the look of irritation.
“My house contributes plenty, Duskbane, as you well know. Wars are not won in the battle of a single moment. Without the information we provide, we would have lost the war years ago. As it stands, we teeter on the precipice now.”
He leans forward. “My question to you, Crown Prince, is what will you give to make sure that doesn’t happen?”
Silence. My mother shifts, just barely, from her still position on my left. The blackstone throne that acts as a reminder of my legacy hides most of her features from me where it curves, but I see her knuckles bleach as she grips the rests.
Nobody speaks. All of them wait, even Eres, though I can feel his brief glances like a faint caress across my skin.
And I have nothing to fucking give them.
Everyone in this room knows exactly how close we are to the end.
The silence stretches out.
“Anything,” I say finally. Hoarsely. “Whatever it takes, I will give it. We’re not beaten yet.”
I can taste the lie on my tongue.
“Our priorities need to change.” The clipped words come from Valcor.
The male has not spoken once this whole meeting, and none of us expected he would.
He doesn’t lift his head as we turn to him.
“If the Darkwielders are to survive, we must recall the soldiers we have left in the Veilspire. Send them North, to the Barren Lands. Let us try to rebuild elsewhere. Let the Lightbringers believe they’ve won. ”
Silence again. My eyes flicker to Darian, but he’s staring out of the window, his head slightly cocked in a way that tells me he’s listening and thinking.
“Valcor,” Eres says next, his tone gentle. “You know that we cannot do that. The lands are barren. Nothing grows there, the river grows thin there. We scouted them.”
“Better than nothing.” Valcor lifts his head, his words hardening, showing the deep, almost black circles beneath his eyes, heavy pouches of grief and loss. “Better than what will happen to her—to them—out there. A thin river is still a river. We can make do.”
There is nothing any of us can say to him.
I watch him. “The Lightbringers would dam the Gloam as soon as they gained a foothold here. Eres is right. The Barren Lands are not an option—not until we have no other option. This war is not over, Valcor. And if we give in now, every sacrifice made was for nothing.”
He says nothing, his chin still tilted away. Leaving him, I look down at my papers. “We will not recall the current teams. Losses are at a minimum for this campaign. The Lightbringers have been cautious, and I want to take advantage of that.”
Nythen shifts in his seat. At my nod, he taps the table with sharpened nails. “Our latest information suggests that the Lightbringers have been sending additional patrols into the Veilspire. Possibly attempting to gain a foothold. I wish to investigate.”
“They’re burning the villages.” Eres flicks through the pages in front of him, scanning the dossier. Distress bleeds through his words. “The Veilspire has always been neutral. That was their choice. This is beyond any of the Lightbringer’s previous tactics.”
“Neutrality was their only choice. Perhaps there is no tactic.” The dry voice that interjects has me stiffening. “Perhaps they’re just assholes.”
“I’ll go with Nythen.” At Eres’s short words, I straighten. He avoids my glare. “We’ll take a small contingent, it’ll be less visible. This needs to be assessed, Kaelen.”
But not by you. The words rise to my tongue, but I swallow them back. Valcor is watching me. Waiting.
To see if I meant what I said. To see if I’m happy to send loved ones to the battlefield, as long as they’re not my own.
“It makes sense,” Eres pushes. He rakes a hand through his hair. “If they need help, I’m best placed to provide it.”
“Is this about information or help?”
“It can be both,” he shoots back at me. “If they need help, then information can follow. I’m going.”
“That’s not your decision to make.” My voice raises.
“I’ll go with him.”
For fucks’ sake. If anything, the tension ratchets up at those words. Slowly, I turn my head. Every word fills with derision. “Forgive me if that offer doesn’t particularly fill me with confidence, Veyr. I’ll go.”
“Absolutely not.” Nythen shifts. “You know that is an impossibility.”
“Agreed.” Darian’s words are as tight as the fist in my chest. Squeezing, choking. “You’re needed here.”
The silence stretches out.
“I will go.” My head lifts at Valcor’s clipped tone. He gestures to Eres. “I’ll accompany the healer.”
“As will I.” Nythen nods, a frown between his brows as he studies the dossier he likely knows by heart. “We’ll ride quickly, under darkness. In and out.”
I consider it, with all of them watching me. “Take Eldritch with you. Two shadowscouts for support.”
Pushing my chair back, I pause. “In and out.”
I don’t wait for their agreement before I turn, striding out of the chamber before my temper can overtake my mouth.
The footsteps that follow after me are familiar enough that I wait until I’ve turned the corner of the hall to let my anger loose.
The shadows erupt, wrapping around the male who follows and pushing him against the wall.
Damn him.
“Eres—”
I step inside the darkness. But it’s not my healer’s deep blue eyes that greet me. These eyes are a glittering, hooded amethyst. Darian slips his hands into his pockets, leaning back against the wall as my shadows wrap around his damned neck. “Well, this is cozy.”
The shadows are not enough. My arm follows, pushing into the warmth of his neck, forcing his head back. “What the fuck was that in there?”
He doesn’t push back. Darian tilts his head further, the corner of his lip tilting up as if he’s mocking me, and it only enrages me further. “An offer of help.”
“I neither need nor want your help, traitor.” I hiss the words at him, watching them strike against the paleness of his skin.
If I didn’t know him, I would have thought he was unaffected.
If I didn’t know the sound of his footsteps well enough to mistake them for Eres.
Shadows still surround us, blocking any sight and sound of us from anyone else who approaches.
But I get a full view of the cloud that sweeps across his carefree expression, the faintest flinch beneath my arm before he meets my gaze so steadily that I wonder if I imagined it.
“It was a genuine offer. I would have kept him safe, Kae.”
Once, I would have believed him. Would have looked to him for this above all others. He would have been the only person in that room I would have trusted to go with Eres, even if it would have torn me apart to watch them both leave.
Once.
“Forgive me if I don’t believe you, Veyr.”
I repeat his family name again, reminding us both how much things have changed between us. “You and I are not allies. We are not friends. You stay the fuck away from Eres, and from me.”
“Kaelen—”
“Stop.” The sound rips from my throat, accompanied by more pain than I want him to see. “You no longer have the right to address me so informally. Or at all, outside of that chamber.”
The heat from his skin reaches me even through my leathers.
Both of us are breathing heavily – Darian through the shadows that now cover his lower face in a mask, effectively gagging him, and me through the anger that has me pressing closer, my hand sliding through the darkness to grip his throat.
“You live only because I allowed it. Your family name is tainted. You are tainted, Veyr. Do not mistake my mercy for forgiveness. You will never have it.”
The pulse that beats raggedly beneath my fingers exists only because of my intervention.
The thought keeps me awake each night, considering how many we have sacrificed to this godforsaken, endless battle just to survive. And another thought strikes as we stare at each other. My snarl brushes his lips as I tear the shadows away. “And stay the fuck out of my dreams, walker.”
I turn my back on him. My erevas, my shadows, disperse, revealing us to the world outside the cocoon I created for someone else.
Someone who is waiting patiently for us, leaning against the wall.
“Darian,” Eres murmurs. His gaze sweeps across the two of us, as if checking for injuries, and softens when it finds none. “Thank you for the offer.”
Darian says nothing. Only those footsteps tell me he’s walking away, and I wait until I can’t hear them anymore before I face the next argument.
My hands are far softer with Eres than they were with my previously closest friend. They cradle his face as I steer him back into the wall. “You are going to be the damn death of me.”
I can feel his smile beneath my lips as they crash into his. My right hand slips into his unruly nest of curls, tugging at his nape to tip his head back and give me access to his throat.