Chapter 15
The beginning of Corinne’s third week in Vytanos brought hope—she completed her private ritual well before dawn, unable to sleep, and answered her door promptly when a kitchen servant arrived with the hot water for her tea.
She knelt before her makeshift altar and methodically placed the dried leaves into a tiny pouch, humming to herself as she placed it into the steaming cup.
Careful, dear light, of the darkness that looms
Shadows will take you so swiftly
Keep your eye trained on the sun and the moon,
They’ll guide you onward and with me
Before she could begin the next stanza, a shadow of her own crept into her mind, and dread washed over her.
You’re only happy because you’ve gotten what you wanted.
Not now. Why did this have to happen now?
She’d done so well these past few days, keeping stoic and solemn around Aryel, and avoiding Danai, Nik, and Iliana altogether.
It hadn’t been particularly difficult to do so, considering the tenfold increase of nobles in the castle.
Guards were working twice as much, and younger nobles completing their lessons and studies in the library had kept Nik busy.
You don’t truly want to be a good person, you just want everyone to think you are.
Corinne gritted her teeth and tried to dampen the fear of spoiling the ritual. Stay the course. Be the Light.
You’ve tricked everyone into thinking you’re a good person, when really you’re selfish, and that scar on your arm proves it.
Corinne’s heart was beating so rapidly she was sure it would fly out of her chest. Stay the course. Be the Light. Stay the course—
They’re just thoughts.
The panic beginning to rage in Corinne’s gut eased off, stopping her spiral into despair. Aryel’s voice drifted into her mind again.
Just because a thought enters your mind doesn’t mean it’s true or real.
She let that knowledge wash over her, and her heart slowed. She took a deep breath and looked outside at the lightening sky. Aryel wouldn’t be awake for hours, and she was far too restless to sit in her room.
Corinne grabbed her sword and belt as an idea struck her—she hadn’t yet had the chance to venture into the gardens, and surely she could find some solitude and solace there at this hour.
Her optimism renewed, she headed for the east wing, taking the quickest route she’d memorized and mercifully avoiding a good number of guards and servants. Most were stationed outside of guests’ bedchambers at this hour, she guessed.
The predawn morning air was cool against her cheeks as she stepped outside.
Though most of the plants were purplish outlines of the various flowers and trees she’d seen on her first day here, the place was still absolutely breathtaking, and it smelled incredible.
Corinne wandered down the center path and took a right at the fountain, following the stepping stones through a maze of flower beds.
Perhaps there was a bench somewhere she could occupy for a few minutes.
The smell of wisteria hit her as she approached the willow trees along the southern perimeter of the gardens, and she closed her eyes for a moment.
Her last memory of the monastery wasn’t a pleasant one, but it was still her home, and that scent was a comfort to her the way her tattoos were, the way her mother’s ring was.
Corinne turned a corner around a trellis holding up a tall, flowering vine, and stopped dead at the sight of two figures on a bench before her, so wrapped up in one another as they kissed that she could hardly tell it was two people.
She yelped in surprise before she could stop herself, and the pair broke apart.
“Corinne?”
Danai was gripping the front of Nik’s shirt with one hand and had started reaching for the hilt of their sword with the other.
“Oh,” was all Corinne could manage. A flush spread from her cheeks down her neck. “I’m sorry, I—”
“It’s all right,” Nik said, gracefully removing Danai’s fingers from his shirt. “No need to apologize. Danai and I just haven’t had hardly a moment to ourselves since the castle locked down, and…well…we take what time we can get.”
“Sorry, Corinne,” Danai said, standing. “How have you been? We haven’t spoken since you got back—”
Corinne shook her head, backing away. “I’m fine. Sorry to interrupt, I— see you around.”
She hurried off despite Danai’s protests.
Perhaps it was better to just wait in her room and start her day once Aryel was awake.
By the time Corinne’s mortification wore off, she realized she wasn’t on her way back to the south wing, but halfway down some corridor she didn’t recognize.
She began to double back—if she could retrace her steps, she could reorient herself.
“…the Lightguards are a source of endless frustration.”
Corinne halted as she approached the spiral stairwell. Two voices drifted downward, footsteps growing nearer from a higher floor. She pivoted and pressed her back against the stone outside the landing, hoping they wouldn’t exit at this floor.
“How is it they don’t have more information for us yet? They have dozens of sentries at the Boundary, and have deployed dozens more to every village in the kingdom to keep an eye out for those Nightrenders,” Queen Erina said.
Corinne held her breath as she reached her floor, not daring to move or blink when the queen stepped past her, Captain Ekhana trailing her.
“I understand your frustration, Your Majesty,” he said, and the moment they’d cleared her, Corinne darted into the stairwell on silent feet.
Somehow they hadn’t noticed her. Thank Helaera.
“That liaison of theirs is due back in a week,” Queen Erina said. “She better have information for Corinne, or I’m going to request an audience with Mother Creita herself. They are not living up to their reputation.”
Corinne swallowed hard. If the queen was unhappy with Mother Creita, if the Crown and the Lightguards were at odds, what would that mean for Ashera?
The nation could not be sundered so. Corinne had to tell Vera what she’d heard, and hopefully Vera would have something from the other Lightguards to report.
Corinne wished she herself could be more useful, but her duty was Aryel’s protection.
Queen Erina and Captain Ekhana’s voices faded as they disappeared around a corner down the hallway, and Corinne finally released a breath. Now she just had to find her way back to the south wing.
Another flight down, she emerged into a corridor she recognized and sighed in relief. No more solo excursions in the castle before dawn.
With other nobles in the castle, it seemed Aryel was more inclined to actually spend time in the library as his schedule dictated, and Corinne was stationed inside the doors instead of the hallway, given the larger presence of guards in the corridors.
She was deeply relieved that Lana did not show up to these study-based gatherings, but she still had to face Nik’s repeated apologetic looks thrown her way as he organized books in the various stacks or retrieved books for visitors.
She tried her best to return them with a soft smile that expressed her indifference. He didn’t owe her anything.
Aryel had begun taking his training more seriously, too, quickly mastering not only breaking free from holds but avoiding Corinne’s attacks altogether.
Goddess above, Corinne was grateful for that; she touched him far less now that he was improving each day, and she was confident in her waning attraction.
There were still moments of weakness, like when he held a practice sword with greater confidence on their fourth session, arms flexing and hands gripping with the right balance between firm and fluid.
It had passed quickly, though, and they spoke little.
“My mother wants you to attend the council meeting again today,” Aryel said as they wrapped up their training session on the eve of Vera’s next visit.
Corinne looked up from her sword belt as she fastened it back on her waist, stepping out of the grassy ring in the outdoor training yard.
“Do I need to say anything?” she asked, nervousness creeping into her voice before she could stop it. She’d been doing well at avoiding showing him any vulnerability these past two weeks.
“Not that I know of,” he said. “But I just wanted to forewarn you that she’ll ask you to stay.”
Corinne knew she wouldn’t be able to control her voice, so she simply nodded once in thanks.
“I’m going to bathe before the meeting,” he said, heading for the castle doors. “Feel free to take time to do the same.”
Unbidden, the shirtless image of him on her first full day at the castle appeared in her mind. Corinne shoved the thought away and forced her feet to move at a normal pace behind him.
“But no one is stationed outside your door,” she said.
“Easily remedied,” he said, offering no further explanation. He glanced over his shoulder, eyeing her up and down. “I can’t imagine it’s comfortable training out there with long sleeves on. You’ve been wearing those more recently, even though it’s been warmer.”
Corinne’s heart stuttered in her chest. He’d noticed that?
“I’m perfectly comfortable,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t tremble.
“I doubt that.”
“I don’t understand why you’re so concerned with my attire,” Corinne snapped.
Aryel stopped, turning to look at her, and Corinne halted several steps away. She had the distinct feeling that he could see straight through her as he held her gaze.
“I…fine. You’re right. Wear what you want.”
Corinne tried to calm herself as they continued. There was no way he knew about her burn. She’d kept it well hidden since her return, and would continue to do so until she was permitted to heal it.
Part of the way back to his rooms, Aryel approached a guard patrolling a corridor, requesting her presence, and she agreed. Corinne supposed it was for the best—she couldn’t stand around a council meeting smelling like sweat and grass.