2. Shattered Illusion
2
Shattered Illusion
A lexa stared out the window of Brandon’s car as he rode them home from church, after lunch at their usual diner. Since their dad’s passing, Brandon had been attending church with them rather than with his family in his hometown a few miles away. Alexa had thought it was sweet of him that he wanted to be by his girlfriend’s side.
Right now, her mind was still abuzz about the handsome stranger, wondering if he was a hallucination after all. Yet she couldn’t expel the sight from her mind’s eye. It was as clear as daylight.
“Earth to Alexandra? ”
Alexa recoiled from her thoughts and looked at her sister on the passenger seat. Concern filled Cassie’s eyes, a silent question in them: are you alright?
Yes, I am, she conveyed through her eyes, just before they narrowed. “Don’t call me that. ”
“You zoned out.” Cassie lifted a shoulder. “Anyways, I was asking where you rushed off to when we were talking with Jonny.”
Alexa hesitated for a moment, but at her sister’s arched eyebrow, she spilled the beans. “I thought I saw someone new, but he simply disappeared before I could reach him.”
“He?” Cassie’s perfect eyebrows shot up.
“He who? ” Brandon asked.
“A handsome guy,” Alexa said with a tiny smile, catching his incredulous eyes in the rear-view mirror.
“Oh man,” Brandon chuckled. “Lex’s caught her eye on a handsome church guy. Do I sense danger for Jude?”
Alexa’s heart skipped a beat at his mention, but not in a fluttery way like it had three months ago. Three months ago, she had been smitten with his charms and smiles. Now the very thought of him made her stomach sink. It wasn’t the same anymore.
She wasn’t the same girl anymore.
“He’s already treading on thin ice,” she mumbled under her breath.
But Brandon’s ear didn’t miss it. “I beg your pardon?”
Alexa spared a glance at Cassie and saw her staring out the windshield with pursed lips. Her sister hadn’t told Brandon about her failing relationship.
Ever the loyal sister.
When Alexa refused to answer, Cassie spoke for her. “It’s… nothing, Brandon. Nothing to worry about.”
“Of course it’s something I should worry about,” Brandon retorted, narrowing his eyes at Cassie. “You two are hiding something from me. What is it? Did he hurt Lexi?”
“No, of course not!” Alexa ejaculated. She and Jude might not be in a thriving relationship, but Jude was a good guy. He had never hurt her, and he never would. They just weren’t the match; he never really did check off the list of what Alexa wanted in her man.
And he had been pressuring her lately, trying to take her out for a date, to which she kept saying later .
Cassie told her she was being Charlotte from The Princess and the Frog , teasing her by reciting Charlotte’s dialogue, ‘ when a girl says later she means never’ .
Apparently, she was not wrong.
But Alexa didn’t know how to end things with Jude, how to make him understand that she wasn’t the same girl who had looked at him with puppy-dog eyes; that the girl he had known died with her dad three months ago. Jude was good at making puppy-dog eyes too, not that she’d melt at them or fall for him anymore, but she couldn’t let him make her feel bad for her decision.
Alexa met Brandon’s blue eyes in the mirror. He arched an eyebrow.
She sighed. There was no escaping Brandon when he felt protective. “We’re just… not working out, that’s all.”
“Oh,” Brandon drew out the syllable, his gaze dropping to the windshield. A moment later he said, “I’m so sorry, Lex.”
“Don’t be,” she muttered and stared out the window again.
“Speak of the devil,” Brandon muttered suddenly. “Isn’t that his car outside your yard?”
Alexa’s heart dropped to her stomach. As Cassie commented on his choice of words, saying his mother should’ve heard that, she leaned forward and squinted at the flashy red car parked down the sidewalk in front of their yard. It was unmistakably Jude’s sports car.
Was he here to convince her for a date, again?
Alexa heaved a tired sigh. Jude did give her space and time to grieve her dad in the first month. But right after what he called as the mourning month was over, he said he was taking her for a date. Alexa declined, saying she needed more time. His smiling face had crumbled then, and instead of understanding, he had been disappointed. Since then, every time she told him later , he had tried to conceal his displeasure under fake smiles, but Alexa wasn’t oblivious.
It was then she realized that their relationship wasn’t a functional one; she had long lost her butterflies and heart-flutters too. There were even times she hoped he would confront her saying he couldn’t do this and save her from feeling bad. But it never came.
Either this was that day or she was going to decline his date offer again.
Jude wasn’t in the car, so she assumed he was on the porch. She refused to glance over there as she got out of Brandon’s car in front of his Lamborghini. Cassie caught her eye in a silent promise that she would chase off Jude if Alexa wanted her to.
While she wanted to fight her own battles, Alexa knew without a doubt that if it did get out of her hands, her overprotective big sister would step in and defend her.
Alexa faced the house. As she expected, Jude walked down the stone path across the lawn to meet her. He wore a white tee which contrasted with his honey-brown skin and ripped jeans. His hair, that he preferred to dye all shades of blond, was platinum-blond today and gelled up in spikes—his signature hairstyle that had nearly every girl in their school drooling over him.
His dark brown eyes locked with hers and he smiled, pleased. Alexa smiled back, tight and forced. Only a few months ago she had smiled like a giddy girl at his sight, heart fluttering when he smiled back at her. It all seemed a distant memory now.
“Hello, beautiful.” The silver chains on his right wrist jingled as Jude raised his hand to stroke her cheekbone. In a flash, he leaned down and captured her lips.
Alexa stiffened. Was it her, or had he always been this possessive and she had been oblivious to notice because she was too excited to have a boyfriend?
“I didn’t expect to find you here,” Alexa said when he pulled away two seconds later. “You didn’t tell me you’d be coming.”
Jude smirked, and Alexa wasn’t surprised that her heart didn’t flip or flutter. The old Alexa had truly died. “Can’t a boy visit his girl whenever he wants to see her?”
“If said boy didn’t study in the same school as the girl, and didn’t have five classes together, yes.” Alexa forced her tone into a teasing one. “So, what brings you here?”
“Two things, actually.” Jude stuffed his hands into his pockets, suddenly looking nervous. That was odd. Alexa had never seen him looking nervous before. He was the popular boy of Harmony Hills High who intimidated everyone.
“What is it?” Alexa pressed when he hesitated, arching an eyebrow, ignoring the acceleration of her heart. Whatever he was here for, it wasn’t good.
“Why don’t we go inside and talk, hmm?”
Alexa gave a shrug and opened her mouth to agree when she heard Cassie say, “Mom?”
She peeked past Jude and saw Cassie and Brandon frozen in the middle of the lawn. Following their gazes, her eyes fell on the woman in a cream blouse and black jeans on the porch, clutching a matching purse in her hands and a big smile on her face.
Tiffany White looked the same as Alexa last saw her at her dad’s funeral, young and vibrant despite the aging lines on her face. Her straight dark hair hung loose over her shoulders and the ankle boots she wore added height to her average size.
Alexa clenched her jaw. “What is she doing here?” she hissed to Jude.
“We, uh, actually… came together.” Her gaze snapped to him and he sighed, adding, “Let’s talk inside. Come on.”
Alexa didn’t protest as he took her hand and led her toward her mother. She grabbed Cassie’s hand on the way and pulled her along.
“What is going on?” Cassie demanded, directing at their mother, falling into step beside Alexa.
Tiffany’s smile faltered. “Hello girls, it’s so good to see you again.”
Alexa bit back a suitable come back and asked instead, “Why are you here? And what did Jude mean by you two came together? ”
Tiffany’s smile dropped and she exchanged a glance with Jude. Oh, this was new. Since when were her boyfriend and her mother familiar? They had only met at the funeral and barely talked even then.
“Let’s go inside and talk.” Tiffany stepped aside and gestured toward the locked door.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” Cassie tore her hand from Alexa’s grip and stomped up to the porch. “You’re not welcome inside .”
“Cass,” Brandon admonished her gently from behind.
Cassie pivoted to him. “What?”
“It’s okay, Brandon.” Tiffany gave him a forced smile and turned back to Cassie. “I just wanted to talk, but it’s fine if you don’t want to let me inside.”
Alexa tore her hand from Jude’s grip and marched up the porch to her sister’s side. “Should I remind you that you’re the one who walked out of this house and turned your back on us when we begged you to stay? How pathetic of you to think you could come here and expect us to let you in as though we are the ones who kicked you out? How long it’s been—oh, seven years!”
“Lex, she just wants to talk.” Jude stepped up behind her, his tone clipped.
Alexa pivoted to him in disbelief. “When did you start taking her side?”
Jude stared at her, debating, his calculating eyes giving away nothing. After a beat of silence, he took a step forward, reaching for her. Alexa stepped back from him.
“Lexi, look, this isn’t how I wanted this to go.”
“Wanted what to go?” she countered, narrowing her eyes on him.
“He’s my step-son.”
Alexa froze at her mother’s words.
“What?” Cassie and Brandon asked in unison, shock evident in their voices .
“Jude is my step-son; his father is the one I married all those years ago, Tom White. I thought you might figure that out, given you knew my new last name and his… but I also thought that you might not , since White is a common surname.”
Alexa stared at Jude unblinkingly, watching the emotions racing across his face, guilt being the steady one.
He was guilty. So he had deceived her.
Betrayal bit her like a poisonous snake, the venom of hatred reaching the places in her heart where she held a care for him despite her dead romance.
“Alexa—”
“Is this true?” she cut him off, gritting through her teeth. Angry tears began filling her eyes, but she blinked at them furiously to prevent from glassing her vision.
Jude held up his hands. “I can explain.”
“ Is this true?” she shouted her question, fuming in rage.
Jude sighed and dropped his hands, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “Yes.”
“Get out.”
His eyes rounded. “What?”
“Get out!”
“Baby, you can’t be—”
“ Don’t call me that ever again.” Alexa’s eyes flared, and she shook a finger at him. “We’re done. I’m done with you.”
She spun on her heels toward the door, but Jude caught her hand and stopped her. “Lex, please, don’t do this. I’ll explain, please let me explain.”
She whirled toward him. “What explanation can you possibly give me, huh? You didn’t know we were step- siblings when you started dating me?”
His face crumbled in guilt.
“Your guilt is my answer, Jude White. You were deceiving me, you were—you were—”
“It was my fault, Alexa.” Her mother cut in. “ I told him not to tell you. The blame is mine. His guilt is mine . He had always wanted to tell you, but I stopped him. You and Cassie cut me out of your lives the day I decided to leave you. I don’t blame you for that. I know I hurt you with my actions and I deserve it. But I missed you; I longed to see my girls, longed to know about your well-being. That’s when Tom got a promotion. We moved to the city, and I chose your school for Jude so he could help me know about my girls—at least one of my girls. Jude was more than willing to help, but I didn’t expect you to become friends, and eventually… lovers. ”
The way she said ‘lovers’, as though it was a sacred word, made Alexa want to scoff. She had never once considered or thought Jude as a lover. He was just a boyfriend, someone she romanced—a fling. Despite being a hopeless romantic, a bookworm who read only love stories and the sister of an appraised romance author, romantic love was a fantasy to Alexa.
The kind of love she saw in books wasn’t nonexistent; she knew that. Daphne’s parents were still smitten with each other, after all. But her own parents’ so-called love, how it withered away and ruined them in the end, had been set as an example before her.
If she were to end up heartbroken like her dad one day, when her partner would stop loving her suddenly and go with another woman, she’d rather stay unmarried—a hopeless romantic forever .
Alexa willed her tears back and turned to her mother. “You think your explanation changes everything? That I would feel bad and forgive your step-son and continue dating him? Do you even know why I hated you, Mother? Or did you decide to forget it and take my vulnerability when I let you hold me while I cried at my dad’s funeral as a change of heart? You’re wrong. I hated you because you ran away with a man who couldn’t keep his hands off a married mother of two girls, one who had a son of his own. I hated you, him, and his son whom I didn’t know would masquerade as a stranger, my boyfriend in the future. So, if you understand what I’m saying, please get out of our lives. We don’t want to see you again. You’ve done enough damage.”
Tears streamed down not only her mother’s face, but Alexa’s as well—tears of hurt, betrayal, and anger that she had concealed within her all these years.
“We loved you,” Cassie began slowly. “But you threw it all away when you decided to go with that man. We hoped for your return, we prayed for you to come back. It was when you told us that you had chosen your new life, a life without us and Dad, that we finally cut you out of our lives. So you deserve to know the least pain the two girls you claim to have missed suffered by your selfish choice.”
“Cassie, I—”
“No.” Cassie held up a hand, and sniffed to take back her tears. “We don’t want to hear anything more. Just stay out of our lives. And you—” She turned to Jude with a death glare. “Come near my sister again and I’ll make you regret it. Am I clear?”
Jude didn’t say anything. He wasn’t even looking Cassie’s way. His pained, regretful eyes pleaded with Alexa’s. “Lex, plea—”
“We’re done, Jude, and it’s final. I don’t want to see you or talk to you again.” Alexa turned from him and pushed open the door Brandon had unlocked.
“Alexa!”
“Back off, man.” Brandon’s voice growled at Jude behind her. She turned to see him standing between her and Jude, ready to take him down if he put up a fight. “You heard her. She doesn’t want you.”
Alexa didn’t wait to see his reaction or spare another glance at her mother. She stepped into the house, followed by Cassie and then Brandon, and closed the door behind her. She pressed her forehead against it.
A small voice in the back of her brain said she shouldn’t have been so harsh with her mother despite the past scars.
But her mother deserved it, didn’t she?
Alexa ignored the voice and focused solely on the burden lifting off her shoulders.
As though ending things with Jude was the best decision she’d ever made.