Chapter Twenty-Four - Lucky
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Becca’s eyes are red-rimmed when she pulls back, but the sorrow in them has faded some. She wipes at her cheeks.
“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to kill the mood. It’s just . . .”
“Hey,” I run a hand down her arm. “You don’t have to apologize, and you don’t have to pretend everything is perfect either, not with me.”
Her lower lip trembles as she gives me a small smile. She’s so beautiful it makes me ache. I hate that I can’t do more to help.
“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here, okay? Whatever you need. I’m here.”
She nods again, giving me a second smile. This one is slightly bigger, and it makes my pulse quicken.
“Thank you,” she says, leaning over to press a light kiss against my cheek.
Her touch is soft and warm, and as her lips skate across my jaw, it’s impossible to keep my hands to myself.
I close the distance between us, a low moan building in my throat as her nails rake across the sensitive skin of my neck. She feels so damn good in my arms, and adrenaline surges through me as our kiss deepens.
Adrenaline. My kryptonite. The thing I’ve craved more than anything else.
But this. This changes everything.
I don’t want to stop. I want to stay right here under this vast, sparkling sky with this amazing girl in my arms, while my lips and tongue and my hands tell her everything my heart is bellowing.
We kiss, dizzying and unhurried, and when we break apart, I can’t help the grin that lifts my cheeks.
Becca’s face is flushed and the sparkle is back in her eyes.
“You know,” I say, reaching for another marshmallow to roast. “I think this is the best day I’ve had in a while, too. Despite what happened during the challenge.”
Becca follows suit, skewering her own marshmallow. “Can I ask you about that?” She eyes me. “I mean…you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but…it was tough seeing you like that.”
Her words hit me hard, like a bucket of ice-cold water. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything. It just happened so fast and…” I trail off, not sure how to explain the rest.
“We don’t have to talk about it,” Becca says, putting a hand on my arm.
“No, it’s not that.” I rub at the back of my neck, sighing deeply. “I don’t want you to think less of me or anything, but . . . it was a panic attack.”
“I could never think less of you for that.” Becca pulls her marshmallow from the flames, turning to give me her full attention. “Never.”
I let out a breath, her words like balm to a wound.
“Was it from the fall?”
I nod. “The fall really wasn’t that bad, but it was like it knocked something loose inside me, something that teleported me back to the worst day of my life. The day of my accident.”
The last words come out barely louder than a whisper. “I thought I was going to die that day and . . . and that fear? Well, I guess it hasn’t gone away completely.”
“The panic attacks? Do you have them a lot?”
“Not anymore. I had them pretty frequently after it happened. But I haven’t had one in a while. The fall just kinda freaked me out.”
“And that?” Becca points to the hand that is rubbing absently at my skull.
“Oh,” I drop my arm. “That. Well, there’s something that people don’t know about my accident. When the ATV flipped on top of me, I got hurt.”
“Broken collarbone, right?”
“Yeah, but that wasn’t the worst of it.” I sigh.
“I wasn’t wearing a helmet. It was stupid, but I thought I’d be fine.
I never thought I’d actually get hurt, but I guess that’s what they mean when they say pride, or in my case, complete idiocy, goes before a fall.
I ended up with a massive contusion on my skull.
It’s basically like a really bad bruise.
I’m lucky I didn’t actually fracture it, but I still had extreme nausea, vomiting, dizziness, and some minor memory loss.
It was pretty bad. My vision was blurry for a while and my head hurt for weeks afterward. ”
“And you still get headaches,” Becca points out, her brows furrowed.
“Every now and then, yeah. I think that’s what happened today.
When I fell, all I could think about was getting hurt again.
They call my type of injury a traumatic brain injury, or a TBI.
It’s the type of thing you don’t want once, much less twice.
If I get that kind of injury again . . .
” I swallow the rest of the words, but the horror in Becca’s eyes shows me she understands.
“Oh, Lucky,” she breathes, reaching for my hand.
“It’s weird to think about it, but I could’ve died that day. If I had hit my head just a little bit harder, I might not be here. It’s hard to swallow sometimes. It’s why I went dark on social media for so long. I had to heal and recover, but I also had to wrap my head around what happened.”
Becca’s fingers squeeze mine. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“Me too. It hasn’t been easy, especially since everything sorta went to hell with my platform, but I’m here and that’s what matters.”
“What happened with your platform?”
I rub the back of my neck. “I couldn’t post content for a while.
People were concerned about me at first, but after a week or two, they moved on.
Found another channel to follow. My numbers started tanking and several other creators showed up on the scene doing what I do.
I sorta became obsolete, ya know? On top of that, the live footage of my accident went viral.
Of all the wild stuff I’ve done, the shit I’ve gotten myself into, the hundreds of videos I’ve made—that’s what people want to see.
It’s the most watched video on my account. ”
“Why don’t you just take it down?”
“What’s the point? It’s already been downloaded and reposted so many times, there’s no way to scrub it completely. That’s why I have to win this competition. I have to make them see that I’m still me, I’m still Lucky DeLucca.”