14. I can almost feel you breathing, like a whisper in my ear
14
I can almost feel you breathing, like a whisper in my ear
Moth
I didn’t think I’d be hungry. I’d ordered simply on impulse, and to save face, but when it finally arrived, I was ravenous. I was halfway done when Amelia had even gotten her food situated.
She gave me a look, but I ignored it. I hadn’t been eating nearly enough, especially the last few days, and now it was catching up with me. I demolished the burger and shoveled down the fries.
“Lordie, woman,” Amelia said when I wiped my mouth and dropped the crumpled napkin onto the plate. “I didn’t know this was a competition.”
I laughed.
“Sorry,” I said with a smile. “I’ve been a mess lately, so I haven’t been eating enough.”
“Speaking of,” she said, pushing a fry into her mouth. “What gives? Spill the beans, Jack.”
I sighed. I really didn’t want to talk about it in public .
“I dunno,” I said, shrugging. “Just some really weird shit has been happening.”
“Weird?” she asked, sucking a swallow from her drink. “Like ghosts?”
I shook my head.
“No, definitely not ghosts. Terrifyingly flesh and bone.”
“Then what?!” she exclaimed. “You’re giving me nothing to go on here.”
“Well, I mean…” How did I even begin to go about explaining this? “It started the night of the funeral, I guess.”
She nodded, taking a bite of her sandwich.
“When I got home, there was this weird note on the door.”
She snorted. She wasn’t taking me seriously, I could tell.
“Yeah, a note,” she said, and I could hear the sarcasm in her voice. “That’s so weird. Super scary.”
I glared at her, my eyes narrowed. I couldn’t get her to understand, because she wasn’t going through it.
“Here, just…” I reached over, grabbed my purse, and flipped it open. I could have sworn I’d stuffed the note into my purse that night. I thought, anyway. After a while of rooting around, I found it. Unfolding it, I slid it across the table to Amelia.
Narrowing her eyes and frowning, she read it and then pushed it back at me.
“I mean, it could be creepy?” she said, and she shrugged. “Or it could be nothing.”
“Well, there’s more,” I said.
How much did I tell her? Especially here? Should I tell her about last night ?
“There were more notes, and they all ended the same way.”
“Moth?” Amelia asked, shrugging. “I dunno, dude. Stupid little nickname?”
“I mean, yeah, obviously. But then someone started breaking into the house, and watching me through the windows.”
That got to her. She stopped, her mouth full of food, and when her jaw dropped open, she nearly lost her lunch back onto her plate.
“Wait,” she said, her blue eyes wide. “You’re kidding?!”
“Not kidding,” I said, sighing. “I wish I was kidding.”
“This is some full-blown Michael Myers shit?!” she cried, and I could have sworn I heard excitement in her voice.
She fucking would .
“It gets worse,” I said, my voice dropping lower. I chanced a glance around the room towards the other patrons, namely Tommy and Sheriff Banner. I especially didn’t need a cop or a firefighter hearing about this.
“Worse how?” she asked, swallowing. She seemed to have remembered she was eating, finally.
“Well, I mean,” I stopped. I could feel my cheeks burning hot so high up that it nearly reached my hairline. Amelia saw it because, of course, she did. She saw everything.
“ What ?!” she hissed, her eyes growing even wider.
“I was asleep,” I started, my voice dropping lower until she had to lean across the table to hear me, her sandwich forgotten on the plate. I leaned closer, whispering. “And then when I woke up, I heard a noise, and—”
“Staying out of trouble, girls? ”
I yelped, dropping down into my seat and looking around. Sheriff Banner chuckled as he moved past us. He knew exactly what he was doing, scaring the shit out of me like that. He flashed me a wink as he continued across the diner and out the door.
Snorting, Amelia dropped down into her seat and rolled her eyes.
“Hold up,” she said, picking up her sandwich again. “Lemme scarf this, then we can go out in the car and you can give me the deets.”
“Or I could just show you,” I whispered. Part of me hadn’t expected her to hear me, but she clearly had, judging by the high-pitched hyena cackle that erupted from her.
“Wait, show me what?!” she asked. I knew that look. She was looking for juicy gossip. Amelia was terrible.
“Not here,” I said, glancing around. At some point in the conversation, Tommy had left too, leaving us mostly alone save for Mae and the kitchen crew. Still, I wasn’t gonna chance whipping out that video here, in public.
“Okay, okay,” she sighed, taking a bite.
We sat in relative silence while I waited for her to finish, and when she’d finally stuffed the last bite into her mouth, she practically sprinted to the counter to pay, still chewing.
She was shameless.
Stepping out of the diner and into the fresh air, I pulled in a deep, shaking breath. I couldn’t believe I was about to talk about this.
I had to be stupid, or maybe desperate for someone to hear me.
She hurried me toward her Escalade, and we hopped in. Once she’d gotten the key in and the air conditioning on, she turned to me with an excited expression. Jesus, she was practically foaming at the mouth.
“Okay, spill it,” she said, looking at me with a serious smile and her arms crossed over her chest.
“So, I was asleep.”
“Right, asleep. Then you heard a noise. And…?”
With shaking hands, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I was stupid, that was it. Dumb and desperate and stupid… did I mention dumb?
“And then when I woke up, I rolled over—”
“Uh huh,” Amelia urged me to continue.
“And someone was standing in the corner.”
If Amelia’s eyes had been wide before, now her tiny button nose looked like it was balancing two ping-pong balls on either side of it.
“Excuse me, miss ma’am?!” she blurted, her mouth dropped open. She made a noise that sounded like a seal, and I laughed, finally.
Damn, I needed that.
“Someone was standing in your bedroom?!”
“Yeah, and then he—”
“HE?! Who is HE?!”
I was quiet, flipping my phone on and opening the gallery. The video was there. It was right there in front of me, but I couldn’t force myself to click on it. I couldn’t open it. The thumbnail showed enough—my tear-stained face, beat red, with his hand around my throat. I couldn’t watch what he had done and—
“Hey?! ”
Amelia had snatched the phone from me, and she stared down at the screen, one eyebrow cocked and her eyes darting between me and what she saw between her grubby little hands.
“Holy fuckin’ shit, dude,” she said, her voice a quiet whisper. “What is this?”
I simply sat there in silence, my mouth opening and closing as I fought to think of what to say, but there was nothing. How did I describe it? What could I even say? I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to say, and so I simply shrugged.
What was this knot in my stomach? I didn’t even recognize my own emotions, and why was I telling her at all? Was it a cry for help?
“Vanessa,” she whispered, still staring down at my phone. “What happened?”
“I…” I swallowed hard, trying to push down the apprehension that plagued me. “I don’t know? Really? S-so I mean you can just—”
I reached over quickly with a shaking hand and jabbed the screen with my finger before I lost my nerve.
“Just… maybe keep the volume down a little.”
It was instantaneous. It was up full blast, and she wasn’t touching the button. Just as well. Maybe I needed to listen to it. Maybe I needed to hear it again to really feel it.
“Look, babe. I want you to see how beautiful you look when you fall apart for me.”
Hearing his voice sent a jolt through me, but it wasn’t fear. What was it? It was disbelief and embarrassment. Why? Because of what happened, or because of who was watching it ?
I didn’t feel anger, fear, or sadness. I felt… shy.
“Vanessa, what?!” Amelia blurted, her eyes narrowed and her mouth hanging open as she looked at the screen.
“I can’t wait until you belong to me. You made me like this, Vanessa. You turned me into a monster. I’m gonna cum so deep—”
Reaching over, I snatched the phone away and quickly silenced it. I didn’t want her to hear the rest. Because I didn’t want to hear it? No, that’s not what it was.
It was because it felt… personal?
You just don’t want her to hear how hard you came for him.
The voice in my head made me blush even harder as I turned my phone off and shoved it in my purse.
For the first time I could remember, Amelia was completely silent, simply gaping over at me.
“Can you like…” I cleared my throat, fingers shaking as I shoved a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “Say something, or…?”
“What was that?!” she shrieked finally. “Vanessa, you need to call the cops!”
“No!” I said, and it caught me by surprise. It was harsher than I’d meant to, and I just opened my mouth to explain when she continued.
“Who is that?!”
“I don’t know!” I said, and my voice was rising higher and higher, like a balloon full to bursting. “I don’t know who it is! I’ve been trying and trying to—”
“Vanessa, give me that phone.”
“N-no, I don’t want—”
“Come on, I’m serious.” She held her hand out, and the look on her face was sterner than I could ever remember seeing. “I need to hear it one more time.”
“Why?”
“Because I know that voice.”
Reluctantly, I handed her the phone, my hand shaking and my breath coming in soft pants. Why was I so damn nervous?
She hit play, and the video continued where it left off.
“—inside you that you’ll know who you belong to. I’m gonna breed that perfect, tight little pussy. Do you understand?”
She gasped, so loud and so hard that she nearly screamed, and when I looked over at her, her eyes were wide and her hand had clapped across her mouth.
“Oh my god !”
“What?”
“Oh my fucking god , Vanessa!”
“ What ?!”
“I do know that voice! I know who that is!” Her hand fell from her mouth and her finger repeatedly jabbed at the screen. “It’s Tommy! The firefighter?!”
I felt myself go pale, all the blood rushing from my limbs and towards my organs—fight or flight. No way. No way it could be him.
“No, it’s not!” I said, pushing up onto my knees and reaching for the phone. “Tommy saved me. There is no way in hell he could—”
Unfortunately, her arms were longer than mine, and she was much better at playing keep away.
“Give me that! Gimme the damn phone! ”
“Oh wait, you’re right,” Amelia sighed, deflating visibly, and she turned the phone towards me. “Look at his hand.”
“I… see his hand,” I said bashfully, squinting at the screen. No doubt, I could see it. It was around my throat.
“He’s got a tattoo,” she said. “I looked for a ring, remember? Tommy didn’t have a tattoo.”
I looked again, harder this time, and she was right. The hand around my neck was inked—a blue and black watercolor moth laid with harsh black lines and a full moon background.
“Weird,” she said, silencing the phone and handing it back to me with a shrug. Good. She hadn’t gotten to the next part yet.
“That sucks, huh?”
I looked up at her, dumbfounded.
“Remember you told me all about the crush you used to have?”
I chuckled. It was true. I’d had a crush on Tommy for a very long time, especially as a teenager, and it only intensified when he was the one to save me.
“I mean, I get it,” Amelia gave me a mischievous grin. “He’s fuckin’ hot.”
I sheepishly tucked the phone into my purse, clearing my throat.
“So, I never thought you’d be the type,” Amelia chuckled, righting herself and reaching for the keys.
“What… type?”
“So this guy has been leaving creepy notes?”
“Yes.”
“And watching through your windows?”
“Mhmm. ”
“And breaking into your house and watching you sleep?”
“Well, I didn’t—”
“So he’s a stalker?”
I stayed quiet. She was the second person to use that word now.
“So you fucked your stalker?”
“I did not fuck him!” I snapped.
“Okay, then what was that?” she asked, a look on her face that I couldn’t quite place.
“It was just hands, and—”
“Okay, so you got finger blasted by your stalker,” she shrugged. “And you’re not calling the cops… why?”
“I don’t want anyone to know!”
She blinked owlishly at me, a look of disbelief stark on her face.
“He’s gonna kill you.”
I sighed, my hands coming up and pulling down my face—but careful to avoid my eyeliner and eyebrows. I didn’t do all that work for nothing.
“Vanessa,” she said, and her sarcastic tone had switched to concern. “This is really serious. He could hurt you. This is assault. What’s next?”
I didn’t know what to say. I knew her concern came from a place of love, but I also knew I couldn’t do what she asked. I just couldn’t.
“Listen,” I said, twisting to look at her in the seat. “My dad was the chief. Everyone in this town knows me, knows who I am, and knows who my family is. If they find out that Don Harper’s daughter—”
“Respectfully, hun?” she said, giving me a sad smile. “Your dad’s gone, and he wouldn’t want you hurt. ”
“And I am his daughter ,” I said, and there was weight to my voice. “I am the last Harper, and I will be damned if I let some creep who doesn’t know how to talk to women scare me into airing my dirty laundry to every single person in this town. If I tell five tonight, fifty will know by sunrise.”
“Gossip?! You’ll let him wear your skin as a vest because of gossip?! Vanessa, you—”
“Because I’m ashamed!”
I didn’t mean to scream. Really, I didn’t. She stopped, her lips sucked into her mouth and bitten closed, and her eyes swimming with tears. Now, I felt shame for a different reason.
“S-sorry,” I said, reaching up to wipe a tear off of my cheek. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.
“It’s okay,” she sighed, reaching over and squeezing my knee lovingly. Truly, I knew she was coming from a place of caring and concern. I knew she was simply worried about my safety, and I was so glad for that.
“Come on,” she said, flipping the car off and pulling the keys out of the ignition. “Let’s go watch a damn movie.”
I gave her a grateful smile, and she stopped me when I reached to grab the door handle.
“Just promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“Promise me there isn’t gonna be another Harper funeral for a while.”
“I promise,” I said, but my stomach fell.
Was that a promise I could keep?
I let her convince me to walk across the street to the theater. For some reason, even as we crossed the street, I felt like every single eye in the town was on me. I felt like I was wearing my own little scarlet letter. I should not have let her watch that video in public. That was a mistake.
I felt like everyone had seen it now.
I let Amelia pick the movie, and maybe that was a mistake, too. It was some predictable slasher flick, and while normally I would be into it, now I was way too on edge for this. We sat near the front—again, Amelia’s idea. She liked to see everything. Personally, I didn’t want people sitting behind me, but I was a people pleaser, and Amelia was an only child.
Together, we were a match made in hell, but somehow, it worked.
As soon as the lights faded and we were left in shadows, I was nervous. I picked at my popcorn and bloated myself with a soda, trying and failing to keep track of what was happening on the screen. A group of friends had gone back home to visit their small-town families and encountered a cult on the road. It would have been interesting if I wasn’t so damn distracted.
Not twenty minutes into the movie, my phone vibrated in my purse, and immediately my heart was racing. Reaching into my purse, I plucked it out and holding it low to be the least bit distracting as possible, I flipped it on and made sure to turn the brightness all the way down before I checked my notifications .
It was the black heart emoji from last night. When I saw it, my saliva went dry and tacky in my throat.
You look so beautiful. If it was just the two of us, I’d bend you over right here in this theater.
A massive jolt slammed through me, and I jerked my head up, looking around. He was here. He was here right now.
Unfortunately, so were half a dozen other people.
Where are you?
I’m everywhere, Moth.
I looked around again, squinting through the darkness as I fought to see a single damned thing. He’d answered so quickly, yet there was not a single other phone light shining.
Again, another text came through, and the vibration made me jump.
You look so good when you’re scared.
I darkened my phone and slid it back into my pocket. Amelia was looking at me, her eyes narrowed and accusatory.
“The hell is wrong with you?” she whispered.
“Later,” I bit back.
I stole another peek around the theater, trying to identify who was there with us. I could see a gaggle of teenagers, one of my old teachers, and one of the new rookie cops. None of the suspects that I had on a list in the back of my mind.
Just as I turned back to the screen, my phone buzzed again, and I whipped it out of my pocket as if it were on fire. It was another notification—this one from Facebook. I barely used it. What could it possibly be? A status comment.
What status? I hadn’t updated my status any time recently.
My Facebook relationship status had been changed from “single” to “it’s complicated.” The comment was from my aunt Dorothy, in all caps, asking me who the lucky lad was. I wrinkled my nose and pulled a face.
I didn’t do that. I tapped on edit, and a warning message popped up.
“Parent permission required.”
I glared at the screen. It wouldn’t let me change it back.
Fingers flying over the screen, I went back to my texts.
Did you fucking do that?
The answer was instantaneous.
Just a precaution. You’ll be calling me daddy soon, anyway. Might as well get a head start.
Well, my phone was definitely bugged.