Chapter 21
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
NOAH
God I love the inside of these walls. Especially now.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. Sharing an office with Cade has never been a bad thing. He’s organized, quiet, friendly, and respected within the department. It was always a great pairing.
Not to mention, getting to see him within the first hour of my work day, five days a week, without fail.
Pure heaven. Knowing when he’s changed body washes or colognes, being privy to his evening plans which he made over the phone sometimes, noticing the way he doctors his takeout or fixes his coffee.
More time around him has always been a good thing.
But now.
After I’ve stripped him down and opened him up, after I’ve shown him how much I’ve been wanting him, told him how gorgeous he is, felt him throb in my mouth, felt him pulse in my hand—sharing an office is foreplay.
Screw the whole foreplay talk I teased him with the other night.
Monday, Tuesday, and today have been the masterclass of foreplay.
Simply existing in our normal space, while pretending there isn’t an insane energy ping-ponging between us, acting as if I haven’t torn his pants off and seen his beautiful cock, going about our days like I don’t know what his cum tastes like—has me hot.
And hard.
By the way Cade keeps peeking at me over the top of his laptop, I’d say he feels the same.
I close my laptop and stack my legs over the edge of my desk, ankles crossed. Folding my hands behind my head, I nod at him. He types still, but his focus is on me. “What?”
“You wanna date me? Like, make it official?”
I love the way his cheeks flame when he’s surprised. I love the way his glasses fog when he’s turned on. I love pretty much everything about him, and while I told myself I’d take it all very slow, I feel a great urgency pressing down on me. Lock him down. Make him yours.
I can take the rest slow, but I need to know we’re on the same page in terms of what we want and where this is headed.
He closes his laptop, and pulls the chain on the desk lamp, turning it off. Sunlight filters into our space, leaving the edges of him glowing, and a little fuzzy. I’m expecting some Cade Mercer series of excuses, maybe a list of the rules here on campus, perhaps even a truth about not being ready.
But instead, he bobs his head, his voice confident when he answers, “yes.”
I let my boots hit the floor with a thud. “Wow.” My hands drop from their casual place behind my head to the top of my desk, splayed across unread and ungraded papers in shock. “Seriously?”
Cade reopens his computer with a sigh. “I don’t like being teased.”
I roll my chair toward his desk until the wooden arms come together with a thud. I weave my fingers with his and force his hand against my chest, my thumb stroking his knuckle. He tries to pull away, glancing nervously at the door like someone may come in and catch us, but I don’t care.
“Hey,” I say softly, but in his flustered state, he won’t look away from his screen.
With my other hand, I guide his chin toward me, and wait for his blue-gray eyes to find mine.
When they do, I give him a soft smile. “I’m not teasing you.
I want you to be my boyfriend. I want everyone on this campus to know that you and these sexy little glasses are mine.
That I’m the guy lucky enough to kiss you and take care of you.
” I brush my lips to his, “the guy who is lucky enough to be with Professor Mercer in the dark.” Cade remains rigid in his chair, his nerves so loud I can practically hear them.
“I just… thought you’d say no. I thought it was too soon. ”
He studies me for a moment, glasses fogging just slightly, but enough to keep me hard. Those slutty little glasses. “Is it? You know… too soon?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.” I kiss his knuckles before pressing our joined hands to my chest, over my heart.
“I’m prepared to take everything as slow as we need to but this part of it,” I explain, “the part where people know we’re together, where we don’t have to hide, where I get to be proudly attached to you…
this is the part I can’t take as slow. Because I’m scared, too.
” I open up to him, revealing my own set of fears, because I want him to feel comfortable to always be vulnerable with me. No matter what.
I know why Cade is scared, though I wish I could assure him that he doesn’t have to be.
But I can tell he isn’t sure why I’m scared, so I tell him, though it’s so hard for me to believe he can’t see what I do.
“You’re the hottest, sexiest man on campus and I’m going crazy over here, not having you locked down. ”
He starts to reject the sentiment, but I press my mouth to his, and he surprises me by slipping his tongue in my mouth first. Cade pulls back, his sapphire eyes pulling toward the door, the portal to the public.
“You said yes, which means…. You’re okay with people knowing? About you?” I press, dragging my mouth along his jaw before he unlinks our hands, shoving me back a little. His cheeks are pink and my cock is hard, and I completely understand and respect exactly why he’s shoving me back.
“Roll—roll back to your side,” he huffs, lips in a partial grin. “I can’t think with you all over me.”
I roll back to my side, and tuck myself beneath my desk.
His eyes hold mine, and our lips twitch with grins we’re holding back.
Happy grins. And I can’t even believe we’re here, but thank God we are.
“You’re so fucking cute,” I whisper to him, which makes him shake his head and drag a hand over his face.
“Okay, yes, I am fine with people knowing about me.”
I nod my head. “You know, people will say they didn’t know you’re gay, and I’m just telling you, you don’t owe anyone an explanation about who you are and who you care about.
” I want him to know that just because he’s figured himself out doesn’t mean he owes it to anyone to unravel himself for them, too.
He nods his head. “I know. And I stand by my answer. I’m okay with people knowing.”
I nod my head, too. “What about your dad? And Kat?”
He looks at the photo of the three of them on his desk, and I still remember that was the first thing he took out of his box the day he got here. I know they’re important to him, even in his organized, closed off world, Cade adores his family.
“Kat knows… Well, you know by the voicemail Zennie left that… Well, Kat and Zennie have been my counselors.” He adjusts his glasses.
“I do need to talk to my dad. I mean, the other night at the restaurant—” He shakes his head, freeing himself of those details.
“My dad knows that you and I aren’t just friends, I guess.
But I do want to talk to him and… introduce you to him. The right way.”
“The right way,” I repeat, knowing exactly what that means. But despite all my confidence and bravado, I’m dying to hear Cade define what that means, I’m desperate to hear who I’ve become to him. A slut for it, even.
He nods. “As… my… boyfriend.” His glasses fog a little on the ends. “I can’t believe I’m saying that.”
I snort. “What? That you have a boyfriend?”
His brows pull together tight and defiant. “No. That you’re my boyfriend.”
Tara Shae bursts into the office, closing the door behind her, barricading it with her body.
Her green eyes are wide, red hair pulled into a chignon at the base of her neck.
She cuts her glance between us, and her shoulders soften as an awkward, forced smile stretches her mouth.
She came in here with a personal thing, not expecting Cade, and is now caught in the lie I put her in a few weeks back, when I had her ask me out.
She gives me a very forced, sultry look that I think is designed to make Cade jealous. Thank God the woman has a bachelor’s degree, two Master’s degrees and can speak six languages because her porn face needs some work.
I face Cade, and stifle my laughter at the way he stares at her, head tipped, nose scrunched, like we’re sharing the same brain.
“Hey, that day in the library, when Professor Shae asked me out, that was just to get under your skin,” I tell him, smirking before I cut my glance back to Tara.
“Also, we worked it out so–” I motion for her to come forward. “Spill it. How’d it go with Makris?”
She sighs so loudly that it makes me laugh.
“Oh thank God. I adore you and am happy to play your interested muse but I really need your take on me.” Tara sinks into the chair in front of my desk and pulls her phone out from the small pocket in her blazer.
“Read this thread. I honestly… I can’t tell if he’s flirting back or giving me the shove off. ”
I start reading the text exchange as Cade catches up.
“So you never… you’re not into No—Professor Ryan?” God I love it when he calls me Professor Ryan, now that I know how rosy his cheeks get when he has an orgasm, and how his voice thins when he’s begging for more of me.
Tara laughs. “Oh honey, no.” She produces a tube of lipstick, and I’m not even sure where it came from. She starts rolling crimson over her lips, half focused on Cade when she adds, “not to mention, Noah’s been pining over you for ages.”
I cut my gaze to him and find his eyes on me, cheeks pink, throat red. “He has, huh?” he asks her while looking at me.
I finish reading the texts and hand the phone back to her. “I think he’s interested but honestly, a little nervous.”
“Nervous?” she balks. “Why?” The truth is, while Tara is dating her way through the faculty and staff at the university, she does a great job of keeping her life private. And I am one of her only confidants.
Cade clears his throat. “Jesse Makris got divorced two years ago. And he shares a three-year-old son with his ex-wife. The split was contentious. I’m fairly certain that he’s anxious to introduce anyone to his life, and have it not work out. I think that’s what it is. He’s seeking stability.”
Tara and I both stare at him.
“What?” he asks.