30. Summer
CHAPTER 30
Summer
T he mediation date approaches faster than I’m ready for. With Emma back in school, time seems to fly by with all of the end-of-school-year madness. Today is her last day of kindergarten, and it’s hard to believe she’ll be a first grader soon.
Jared and I both want to get this mediation meeting done before she’s home for the summer. We’ve stuck to our original custody plan thus far, but every time I see him, he vacillates between open hostility and cold indifference.
I can’t help but feel that the main person at fault here is me. Maybe I should have just been happy with the way things were. While I’m glad this change brought me Ryan, terror digs in its claws at the thought of losing my daughter. I’m not someone that wants a lot out of life: a happy daughter, and the ability to be a positive example for her. Ultimately, I’ve never been one for lots of material things or grand ambitions. A happy, slow life where I can savor the time with those I love is enough for me. And it feels like Jared is trying to take that away. Sitting in front of the mediator’s office in my car, I stare up at the dull rectangular building with trepidation .
I hope Jared will be reasonable. Even after all we’ve been through, it’s still hard to see he can’t move past his petty jealousy. It’s hard to believe that he’s willing to sacrifice Emma’s happiness for the sake of his pride.
I feel like I’m on the verge of an anxiety attack, my heartbeat pounding like a war drum in my chest and my body breaking into a cold sweat. I close my eyes and do some breathing exercises to calm myself. I got here fifteen minutes early for this very reason, knowing I’d need the time to talk myself off the ledge.
A light tapping on my driver’s side window startles me. My eyes fly open and I stare into the apologetic face of my lawyer, glittery acrylic nail poised above the window to tap again. “Sorry,” she mouths before stepping back to let me out of the car. She offers me a smile and adjusts her smart, blue suit jacket, which contrasts nicely with her umber skin.
When I’m free of the car and no longer in danger of a heart attack, she steps in to give me a quick hug. We’ve really gotten to know each other well over the last few weeks. We’ve had several meetings both in-person and over Zoom so we can be as prepared for mediation as possible. “How are you doing, Summer? You look great! Er, well despite the fact that it looked like you were sleeping?” Nia pulls back, eyebrows drawn in a confused line, and looks me over.
“No! I wasn’t asleep. I was doing some breathing exercises to calm down. I was feeling really anxious,” I say, a little embarrassed at being caught in the act.
“I understand completely. It’s normal to feel anxious, but I’m confident this will go your way.” She squeezes my shoulders before dropping her hands and leading me to the door. “Come on, let's get inside so we can get settled before the meeting begins.”
We step inside an office that clearly had its heyday in the ‘90s. Gray, industrial carpet softens our footsteps as we walk towards the front desk. The only thing breaking up the white walls and honey-colored furniture are fake plants that look like they haven't been dusted in the last decade and the sun-starved succulents on the secretary's desk.
“Hey, Amy,” Nia says, greeting the secretary behind the desk.
“Oh hey, Nia. Greg is just getting things set up, but you’re welcome to go back to the main conference room to say hello,” Amy replies. She’s a middle-aged blond woman, and her vibrant pink lipstick is the brightest thing in the room. She gives me a quick smile and wave before returning her attention to her computer. I have to stop myself from asking if I can give her succulents a loving home.
Nia gestures for me to follow her through a doorway to the right of the front desk; we walk down a short hallway with a few doors lining either side before arriving at the end. She gives the closed door a few light raps with her knuckle, and we’re invited in by a muffled, “Come in!”
The giant conference table situated in the middle of the room makes the entire space feel claustrophobic. We sit on the left-hand side of the long table, which is partially lit by one thin, long window at the very top of the rear wall.
“Hello, Nia! Ms. Evans, welcome. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’m Greg Harbor, your attorney and mediator extraordinaire.” He sweeps his arms out in a grand gesture from his seat at the head of the table, and I can’t help but feel myself relax a little in his presence. He’s an older man with slightly balding, gray hair. His face is open and friendly, his wide eyes made wider behind a pair of thick, wireframe glasses.
I hold out my hand to shake and reply, “The pleasure is mine. Thank you for being willing to handle our case so quickly. I’d love to get this sorted as soon as possible so Emma can get situated in whatever routine she ends up with over the summer.” He gives my hand a few firm pumps over the table.
“Of course. Her best interest is my top priority, rest assured Ms. Evans,” he says warmly before excusing himself to get some paperwork situated. I take a moment to smooth my dark pencil skirt over my legs and cross them at the ankles under my chair.
Greg comes back leading Jared and his lawyer into the room. Jared is in a black suit I haven’t seen him in since his grandfather’s funeral a few years ago. His lawyer is a thirty-something man with a bad combover and an ill-fitting, gray suit.
“Ladies, Mr. Forrester and his lawyer, Mr. Patterson.” Greg walks to the head of the table and all three men loudly take a seat, chairs scraping over the dingy carpet.
Greg jovially smacks his palms together and says, “Alright everyone, since this is our first rodeo together, I’m going to briefly explain how the rest of the meeting will go. Sound good?” We all nod and he continues, “Perfect. So, Mr. Forrester, Ms. Evans, I will take one of you with your lawyer into a different room. I will hear both sides out, offer my best advice, and go to the other party with your prospective custody terms. We’ll probably have to go back and forth a bit to get things fully settled, but the goal is to keep you out of the courts and reach an agreement you both can live with that’s in the best interest of your child.”
Greg takes a second to arrange a stack of papers in front of him before continuing, “I’m stating now that I am a neutral party. My only goal is to help the two of you reach an agreement. Understand?”
“Yes,” I say with a nod when he turns his wide, cornflower-blue eyes on me. Jared dips his chin as well when Greg looks his way.
Greg stands, gesturing to the door. “Alright. Who wants to stretch their legs with me on a long luxurious walk down the hallway?” He smiles and nods to Nia who stands.
She collects her things and places a hand on my shoulder, indicating for me to follow as she moves towards the door, “Come on Summer, let's go check out the other room.”
“Okay.” I stand and give a tight-lipped smile to Jared and his lawyer. I keep pace with Nia and Greg back down the short, dark hallway and into a smaller room to the right. Greg stays by the open door and gestures for us to walk deeper into the room.
My eye is immediately drawn to the large, slightly tinted window that takes up nearly the entire back wall. Despite the room’s smaller size, the window makes it feel much less claustrophobic than the conference room we were just in. A smaller table, clearly only meant to seat four or so people, is in the center of the room with a few worn office chairs surrounding it. Nia leads me to the left side of the table and sets her briefcase and folders down.
Greg smiles at me, the corners of his eyes crinkling behind his glasses, “Alright ladies, I’ll be back shortly. I can have Amy bring you some coffee? Water?”
“Water please,” I say, suddenly feeling the way my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth with nerves.
“Same for me. Thanks, Greg,” Nia says as he leaves the room and shuts the door. We can hear his muffled voice as he speaks briefly with his secretary.
Nia and I pass the time sipping on the small bottled waters that Amy brings us and rechecking the custody documents Nia had drawn up over the last few weeks. Just as I’m elbows deep in legal jargon (way too many “heretofores” for my taste), Greg knocks on the doorframe before entering the room.
“So, let’s hear out your custody terms,” he says, crossing the room to sit in the chair opposite us. He pushes his glasses higher on his nose and looks down at the papers on the desk with a concentrated frown.
We proceed to describe the same custody agreement I have now, with a few more specifications for holidays and weekly visits. Nia and I had discussed asking for more custody as a preventative measure, since Jared threatened me with demanding full custody, but ultimately decided on what I think will be best for Emma. She deserves to have two equally present parents.
“That’s basically what we have going now and it seems to be working well for Emma. Ultimately, that’s what I care about. I just want to do what’s in her best interest,” I finish before taking the last, now lukewarm, swig of my water.
We had gone over point by point the details of both of our proposals and found only a few discrepancies that I was happy to concede to prevent a fight over ultimately pointless issues. I’m shocked that Jared didn’t demand full custody or some other ridiculous concession, but I can only assume his lawyer or Greg talked him down.
Greg, who had been taking diligent notes on a legal pad throughout our discussion, makes a few last-minute scribbles and says, “Well. It seems like you and Mr. Forrester are on the same page for the majority. Although—and I have his permission to bring this up—he does have concerns about a certain Mr. Ryan Garrett whom you are currently engaged in a romantic partnership with. Here’s a copy of the police report he filed with the local PD he gave me. Now, when I went and looked up the police report, it seems as though the investigators found nothing to charge Mr. Garrett with as Mr. Forrester allegedly began the fight and Mr. Garrett acted out of self-defense.”
I cross my arms and say, “That’s exactly what happened. Jared was going to hit Ryan, and Ryan hit him first so he would stop fighting. Is this police report anything that could hold up in court?” I gnaw on my lip worriedly.
“Likely not. You aren’t married to Mr. Garrett, nor is he currently living on your property. Who you spend recreational time with isn’t truly of his concern.”
“What’s in his realm of concern though? Can he object to Ryan spending time with her?” I ask.
He tilts his head back and forth before stating, “Yes and no. He could technically stipulate that Emma shouldn’t meet Mr. Garrett until your relationship has progressed past a certain point. Usually, six months is the standard for such an agreement, providing that said romantic partner doesn’t pose a risk to the child. ”
“He’s trying to say that Ryan poses a risk though, isn’t he?” I feel my temper rising with each word. He just can’t let me be happy. He has to drag me down into his miserable bullshit.
Nia places a soothing hand on my arm, “He is, but as Greg said, the police report won’t hold up in court and honestly could even backfire since he’s the one who instigated. If that’s all he has against Ryan, it’s not much. No judge would agree that Jared has a say in your private life.” I take a deep breath and nod, feeling slightly better.
“So, Mr. Forrester obviously has an issue with this new romantic relationship of yours. How do you feel about a six-month stipulation like I mentioned earlier? It would be a compromise, I understand, but it might be worth it to keep this from going before a judge. We can even ensure that the six-month rule would apply to him as well.” Greg flicks through some forms when he finishes speaking and hands one to me.
As much as it sucks, it seems like the best alternative. “Okay, I can do that. If that will end this and keep it from getting worse, I’m fine with that. That’s only another three-ish months anyway.” I’m choosing to be petty and count from when I first met Ryan rather than when we started dating.
Greg nods and says, “Alright, but know that if you’re found in violation, it could mean Jared has the right to take it to court, and it could be used against you. Just have to let you know.” I nod back and bend my head over the form, signing next to the highlighted areas. “Perfect! Back in a jiffy. I’m going to make sure this works for Mr. Forrester, then after meeting with you all again, I’ll draft a new custody agreement and have it to your lawyers over the weekend.” He gathers the paperwork together into a tidy pile and bustles out of the room.
As I drive home from the mediator's office, I let loose a big breath, feeling each muscle unclench one by one. Jared had (grudgingly I’m sure) agreed to the custody agreement, including the six-month wait on introducing new significant others. While Nia’s legal fees took a chunk out of my savings, it was nothing compared to what it could have been if Jared had pursued litigation. I’m still pissed he brought that bogus police report to the meeting, but I’m trying to let it go. I need to be civil for Emma’s sake. “For Emma” has been my constant mantra as of late.
I grab a celebratory overpriced coffee and pastry on my way home and decide that Emma and I will spend the rest of the afternoon playing “spa day.” It’s something we’ve done since she was two. We put on face masks, take a bubble bath, and when she holds still enough, I paint her nails. I could use some relaxing girl time after all this. I pull into the driveway and sit back in the peace of my car, relishing the quiet before going inside.
The late afternoon sunlight dapples through the leaves of the large oak tree out front, and the grass has that lime green, nearly yellow tint that it gets in the summer. I watch as bees buzz lazily around the potted lavender bushes on the front porch, gilded by the golden light. It feels a little like magic. I can almost hear my mom saying, It’s going to be okay. And this time, it really feels like it.