Chapter 17
IT CAN'T BE HER
ELENA
Today is the day, and ever since I arrived at the hotel, I haven’t been able to tear myself away from the window.
My father was right when he said that from here you can see all the way from the entrance to the pool area or the restaurant; it’s a prime spot that I hadn’t used for anything other than work, and in a matter of minutes, I’ll be using it to watch Victoria arrive.
I’m like a little girl who doesn’t want to be seen and, at the same time, a fool who’s incapable of facing what matters most to her.
Ana hasn’t arrived yet, and I’m eager to have her here with me.
It’s funny because she put together an outfit for me for the occasion, and although I didn’t follow all her advice, I did wear the peach lipstick I used to wear when I was younger.
I’ve pulled my hair back into a small ponytail and swapped my everyday sandals for wedge heels that’ve added about five centimeters to my height.
It seems strange, but wearing something different from what I wear day-to-day has made me feel strong and capable of anything.
After the conversation Ana and I had a few days ago, I realized that Jorge was right. I can’t do this alone, and I’m grateful that I’m not, because I’ll have four hands to hold me up and lift me when this gets too heavy.
A gentle breeze carrying the scent of the sea brings a smile to my face and a sigh, prompting me to sit on the windowsill and enjoy the warmth of a small ray of sunlight falling on my hands.
The sky glows a radiant blue that reminds me of Victoria’s irises, and that stirs my heart and awakens all my memories of her.
Before I met her, I had never seen such beautiful eyes, and even though I was twelve, I found myself inexplicably captivated by them.
“Though the best part was discovering just how enchanting they were when we kissed,” I think, and I bring a hand to my chest as if that gesture could calm the storm raging inside me.
“How has the prettiest girl on the island woken up?” Ana asks when she opens the door to my office and sees me sitting by the window. “You want Victoria to find out that you’re desperate to see her.”
“And isn’t that true?” I burst out laughing and move to turn around so she can get a good look at me. “What do you think of me?”
“Gorgeous.” I give her a thumbs-up and pull her into a hug. “But don’t be so obvious—draw the curtains and look through them.”
“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”
“Me!?” She points at herself innocently. “No way!” she mutters, then winks at me. “Just a couple of times, when Inaki and I were fooling around and I didn’t want him to know I had a crush on him.”
“I think he knew that from the moment you got jealous because I was teaching that girl how to stand up on the surfboard,” I remind her, making her blush. “Although it didn’t turn out too badly for you. After your little scene, his attitude toward girls changed completely.”
“I didn’t ask him to…”
“You did, but without words.” I shrug and walk back to the window, now following her advice. “Did Carolina tell you when she was coming?”
“Victoria?”
“No, the Pope,” I joke and roll my eyes. “I’ve been here all morning and haven’t seen her anywhere.”
“Don’t worry, she’ll show up. Carol told me she’d be here before two, and she never breaks her promises.”
“That’s what you say…” I mutter, shoving my hands into my pants pockets. “I wonder what her girlfriend will be like.”
“Victoria has good taste, so she’ll be gorgeous.”
“Thanks, huh?”
“But you’re a hottie, one of her favorites.
” She nudges me, and I give her a little smile.
Suddenly, silence takes over the office, and as if our lips had been sewn shut, we stop talking.
Somewhere in my head, my most fearful self keeps repeating that this is going to go wrong, that I shouldn’t have followed Ana’s advice, and that I should have stayed hidden at home.
However, when my eyes meet Victoria’s figure in the distance, my mouth drops open, and the heat of the love I feel for her burns my insecurities to ashes.
“It can’t be her…” I say aloud.
“What? Where?” Raising my hand and pointing toward the entrance, Ana looks in that direction and grabs my arm with one hand. “She came alone.”
“I’m sure the bride will be coming behind her,” I assure her, craning my neck as if I could see further. “No one’s with her,” I think, and suddenly Carolina and Victoria embrace. “She’s…”
“Different, just like you.”
“Yes, but…” I hesitate, unsure of what to say. “She cut her hair…”
“Hey, snap out of it.” Ana notices my reaction and snaps her fingers in front of my eyes. “You’d better wipe that dazed look off your face.”
“But have you seen her?”
“Have you seen yourself?” she lectures me, hands on hips. “You didn’t expect her to be the same person you remembered after five years!”
“No, but…”
“If you want me to think you’re doing great and that you don’t give a damn if she has a partner, you’d better take a deep breath, put on your best smile, and let’s go to the reception.”
“I can’t.” I grab her by the arms and panic. “She’s alone! She came alone! Her girlfriend isn’t here!”
“I know, I saw her. You don’t need to scream like a teenager, for fuck’s sake.”
“Don’t leave me alone with her,” I beg, scared, and Ana holds my face so I’ll focus on her.
“She’s not going to eat you, Elena. Snap out of it.”
“What if she does?” I ask, just being silly. “The last thing I want is for us to start arguing at my brother’s wedding; I don’t want everyone to remember her for that.”
“Stop thinking about what’s going to happen and focus on the present,” she advises me again.
“Victoria’s here; you haven’t seen each other in five years, you’ll have a ton to catch up on…
Just be nice—not like you were at the window a few minutes ago,” she reminds me with a frown.
“We don’t want her to get the wrong idea, do we? ”
“Yeah, well…”
“Well, that’s it. Now, let’s go. The longer you put off the inevitable, the worse it’ll be.”
“But…” “The sooner I see her, the harder it’ll be for me to let her go,” I think to myself as Ana tugs on my hand and we leave the office together.