Chapter 31
Reed
This woman. The look she aimed my way squeezed my heart. She was so giving, so ready to help, not a note of hesitancy in her voice or in her questioning stare.
I was asking Cici for more than support or help with something. I was asking her to partner with me, and the simplicity of that on the surface wasn’t so big. But the underlying meaning was much deeper.
I sucked in a full breath and let it out, knowing I had very little time and needed this conversation to be between her and me only.
“I don’t know how to tell Abi.” Her brows pulled in as I continued, “I don’t know how to explain to her that she has to spend time with these two strangers who have never met her, and it’s just so fucking hard to even imagine.
” My hands left hers as I tugged on my hair, needing a release from the anguish.
Aside from my sister’s death, nothing had felt so hard to bear.
Cici puckered her lips, her eyes widening in thought.
They were so warm. Like hot cocoa on a cold day.
“So, you want help telling Abigail about her grandparents?” Grandparents.
They didn’t deserve that title. And I never even considered that these horrible people were actually something typically cherished.
I huffed. “Yeah, I guess I do.” Vulnerability itched at my skin. “I guess that’s what I’m asking of you, and it’s a lot—”
She gently placed her hand on my chest, scooting closer to me, her knee overlapping my lap, and suddenly, I had the urge to pull her into me. But I knew that was a compromising position that might take us to places we didn’t have time or privacy for.
Her touch interrupted my ramble. “I’m happy to help.”
My sigh of relief was far more audible than I expected. “Really?” I brought her hand to my lips. “You sure? I know it’s—”
She interrupted me again, this time with a quick kiss that shut me right up.
“Reed, kids can handle hard things.” Her smile was so reassuring as she ran her hands through my hair. “You’ve already seen this from her.”
I nodded, but inside, I feared how much she was able take on before her sweet little heart collapsed.
“We can do this together.” Not an ounce of fear colored her voice. “But you have to let her decide how she feels about them, no matter how much you hate them.”
I groaned, letting my head fall backward.
Her hand slid from my head to the side of my jaw, and rather than pulling away, she let her thumb swipe comforting circles there.
With a burning swallow, I pushed the torment back down, keeping it down with all the other uncomfortable things.
I brought my head back up, and my forehead met hers as if magnetized.
She nuzzled me as I let out an aggravated breath. “Fuck, I know.”
Delicate fingers danced from my jaw up around my neck and swirled through my curls, tickling my nape. She breathed out a laugh, warming my face. “Your hair is addicting.”
I sat up with her arms still wrapped around me, but now I could look into her eyes and truly tell her how I felt. “You’re amazing. How do you—”
“I’m all clean!” Abi barreled through the room and crashed into the couch.
She was wearing her sock-monkey pajamas, fitting for a monkey bar champion.
Cici and I cleared some space between us, but our legs still touched, and my mind focused on the solace her body brought, even in such a small, simple brush of skin.
“I’m ready for my surprise.” Abi bounced up and down on her knees on the couch cushion.
“Well, first…” Cici started. Band-Aid rip. Okay. Cool. “Your uncle and I wanted to talk to you about something new.” Hmm, interesting wording, but I’d go with it. Then she turned to me. Fuck.
I rubbed down the back of Abi’s hair, probably needing the touch more than she did. “You have a grandma.” I purposely left out the word grandpa because screw Bruce. I continued, still making soothing strokes through her tangled hair. “One you’ve not met before.”
Her eyes were round like saucers.
“They live far away,” I continued, “but they are visiting here for a while and want to meet you.”
Abi’s wide eyes turned into a full-face beam. “I have a grandma?” she squealed, part question, part cheer. Welp, did not expect that.
I looked up at Cici. Her eyes were understanding as she smiled at Abi, trying to join in her excitement.
She probably knew it would be hard for me to partake in that.
“Yes, a grandma. And she wants you to visit.” Abi’s beam turned down a notch.
Her bewildered eyes slanted a bit, and the corners of her lips drooped.
She still wore a smile, but hesitancy had crept in.
“At her house?”
I cringed at the thought of Abi being in their home.
“Well, maybe…” Cici started.
“Does she have a pool?” That was random.
Before I could piece together where that question came from, she continued, her voice faster and more excited than before.
“William has a grandma and goes to swim at her pool!” She bounced on our laps, turning back and forth as more and more words poured out excitedly.
“And William’s grandma took him to the aquarium, and he got these really cool glasses, and he stays at her house and eats waffles and ice cream. ”
“Well, every grandma is different.” A sneer nearly escaped me, but the sentiment in Cici’s voice pulled my attention from the petty thoughts coursing through my mind.
“My grandma didn’t do those things, but she did other wonderful things.
” Sincerity and warmth emanated from Cici as she smoothed away the hair in Abi’s face.
“Like what?” Abi asked. Cici had her attention completely. She had calmed and was hanging on her every word.
“She read the best stories. And she didn’t have a pool, but she liked to go to the beach, and we’d crash and jump into the waves.
” Cici’s eyes took her to a faraway place as she said, “And she didn’t have waffles, and ice cream made her fart.
” At that, Abi giggled. “But she did love baking bombas, and she let me help and lick the custard off the spoon while I watched them in the oven.” Her nose lifted as if she conjured the scent of freshly baked goodies.
“What’s bombas?” Abi asked, and Cici’s concentration drifted back with a smile sweeter than the desserts she spoke of. She patted Abi’s shoulders with big, wondrous eyes. “They’re these yummy Italian donut balls. We rolled them in sugar and then made all kinds of fillings for them.”
Abi’s whole face scrunched up with a skeptical expression, and Cici giggled. “We put jams and creamy puddings inside. Even Nutella once. Maybe you and I could make those sometime?”
Abi sat up taller, and her voice returned to high pitch and fast. “I can’t wait to bake bombas!” She wiggled in her spot and then paused for several moments, deep in thought.
I took this moment to look at Cici, and her eyes met mine.
She tilted her head, and all I could do was raise my eyebrows in return.
This hadn’t gone how I expected. Never in a million years did I think Abi would be excited—no, ecstatic—to see my mother, and I shuddered even thinking of him being near my niece.
“Will you be there?” Abigail hugged Cici’s arm. Cici whipped her head toward me, followed by Abi, two beautiful sets of eyes fixed on my answer.
“So, Abbers, remember Nina?”
Her face lit up. “Oh yeah! She used to come see us, and I would share my fruit snacks with her, and she liked the green ones best.”
I nodded, not really remembering that but appreciating that was what stuck out most to her about the caseworker’s visit. “Nina is going to go with you. She asked if you wanted to go to a park for your first visit.”
At first, Abi’s eyes shone with eagerness, but then her brows rose nearly to her hairline. “You’re not going with me, Uncle Reed?”
I sighed. How do I answer this? I couldn’t tell her that if I went with her, I might say some really bad words.
She’d see a side of me, albeit protective, that I never wanted her to see.
I couldn’t admit that they brought out the ugly in me, and her heart was too kind and beautiful and open for me to ruin.
“Uncle Reed is going to stay behind and make sure you get plenty of time with your grandma all to yourself,” Cici piped in, giving me the reprieve to process the conversation thus far.
Abi still didn’t seem convinced, but she nodded. “Okay.”
There was a pause, and I was about to end the conversation and pull a surprise out of my ass when Abi murmured, “Can me and my grandma and Nina go to the park with the ziggy-zaggy monkey bars?”
Cici must have sensed the same drop in mood that I felt. She pulled Abi into her and laid her head on top of hers. “I think that is the best idea ever. You can dazzle the world with your skills.”
Abi let out a giggle, already lightening. Fuck, Cici is incredible. How does she know just what to say?
Rather than springing up and onto the next thing, Abi curled deeper into Cici’s lap, and emotions reared up from my chest and tingled my cheeks.
Tears threatened behind my eyes, not ready to escape, but there to remind me that this was a precious thing.
Abi trusted Cici in a way that was so open.
The world hadn’t caved in on her, and I was so grateful that not only was I no longer alone in this, but neither was Abi.