Chapter 24
“Well, maybe you got it wrong.”
Lottie was always the one to play devil’s advocate in any situation.
I shook my head forcefully. “No, I really don’t think so.”
We were having a girls’ pow-wow at my house the following night; I had summoned the troops together to get their opinions over a Chinese takeaway. With hard liquor and soft noodles, we were going to sort things out. Naturally Lottie was there, but also Jasmine and Jayne had dropped everything to provide their moral support.
They were sipping on gin and tonics whilst listening carefully to make sure they were fully up to speed on the Jocasta fiasco. I couldn’t help but note how perfect Jayne’s face was. She was so skilled at make-up; it really was a talent.
I smiled to myself, recalling the incident in the pub a few weeks previously. The photo of Jayne’s impressive special effects make-up had come in handy to scare the beejezus out of a teenage tearaway who fancied himself as the Yorkshire equivalent to Pablo Escobar.
I handed round a plate piled high with steaming dim sums and spring rolls.
“I know what I saw, and she was not the scared little mouse she had portrayed herself to be. If anything, he was the one who looked scared out of his wits.”
Jasmine helped herself to a vegetable spring roll and dipped it in the viscous orange goop the takeaway provided as an accompaniment.
“But why would she do that? Why make out she’s in an abusive relationship when it’s a pack of lies? That’s a seriously sick thing to do.”
“Agreed, but I think she’s doing it for the sympathy. That’s what she gets off on: everyone feeling sorry for her and wanting to protect poor little Jocasta from her nasty ex-boyfriend, when in truth she’s the nasty article and a bully herself.”
Jayne was shaking her head, little tufts of springy auburn hair escaping from her messy bun, her clear blue eyes wide with disbelief.
I picked up a dim sum and dunked it in the dip.
“And another thing, I don’t even think he is her ex at all. The way they were talking, it sounded like they were still very much together.”
Lottie shivered a little in her silk blouse, despite the balmy temperature in the room.
“It makes my blood run cold to think a woman would lie like that about being mistreated, portraying herself to be a victim when the truth is the complete opposite.”
I smiled at my friend and rubbed her arm through her sleeve. I knew this conversation would be tough for her. She had been through a lot at the hands of Daniel. To think that a woman like Jocasta could undermine other women when they spoke their truth was a frightening thought for us all, but for Lottie it was even more personal.
“Well, they say the devil takes many forms. I just think that at heart she’s an attention seeker, irresistibly drawn to the tragedy of it all, wanting to play the leading role in her own sad little fairytale; and a fairytale is exactly what it is. Only she’s not the poor put-upon princess locked in the tower, she’s the evil queen.”
Jayne reached over to rub Lottie’s other arm as a gesture of solidarity, the elaborate bracelets on her arm jangling away merrily, as if to lighten the mood.
“Lila’s right: she’s just making up shit to get sympathy. It’s pathetic; she should be pitied, really.”
I agreed with Jayne to a point. But I didn’t pity Jocasta; I loathed her. Being in the profession I was, I knew only too well from experience how difficult it could be for a woman to be believed. Jocasta was a real piece of work for behaving the way she had. To play victim only undermined the real victims out there who needed to be heard. It was a really shitty thing for her to do.
Lottie drained her glass, and without a word I reached over and refreshed it for her. I knew she was finding the whole conversation difficult. She sighed deeply, as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“I’m sorry for doubting you, Lila, and thinking you weren’t giving her a chance. It seems like your first impression of her was spot on. I nagged you to give her a break and not be so tough, but you saw through her from the very start.”
“Yes, Lottie, but that’s because you’re so nice, a much better person than me. Unfortunately, I see the world through more cynical eyes. I know that my feelings towards Seb have changed so much but…”
Lottie cut me off abruptly.
“Not changed; you’ve loved him for years. We could all see it for what it was; there was only you who couldn’t. But it’s not just about you and Seb now. If he was truly happy with Jocasta, I would tell you to back off and leave him be; sacrifice your own heart to see the man you love happy. But that’s not the case. She’s not right for him; she doesn’t sound like she’s right for anyone, to be honest, unless she hooked up with Freddie Kruger perhaps.”
We all laughed. Good old Lottie, you couldn’t keep her spirits down. She still managed to crack a funny through her pain.
“Or Hannibal Lecter.”
Jasmine’s brown eyes were sparkling as she got into her stride.
“He loved to cook after all he could make her into a big pan of Bubble and Squeak. You said her high-pitched voice was like a sarcastic squeak that put your teeth on edge. It would be perfect.”
Lottie was shaking her head.
“No, Bubble and Squeak is fried cabbage and potatoes. It’s vegetarian, you silly billy.”
“OK.”
Jasmine thought silently for a few seconds before her face brightened and she clicked her fingers together.
“Meat and potato pie then, ’cos she’s definitely a big old cow.”
She elucidated her point with a lengthy mooing sound at the end.
I was pleased to see that Lottie was still laughing away with us all.
“Seriously though, Lila, you need to make Seb understand what she’s like.”
“I know, I know, but she’s really got her claws into him. I think she realises she’s onto a good thing with him. He’s an attractive proposition on paper: single man, early fifties, solvent, no dependants, own home, good job etc., etc.”
As I reeled off all Seb’s attributes, I couldn’t help but think his most attractive ones were his kind heart, warm smile and reassuringly broad shoulders. I felt a warm glow come over me just thinking of him.
Lottie took my hand in hers.
“Lila, Seb loves you; you’ve always been his muse. You’re his inspiration in the messy masterpiece that is his life. We all know that, and jerk-off Jocasta knows it too. That’s why she’s so threatened by you. She’s only with him because you never gave Seb a chance. The bloody bitch wants to push you out, or preferably off a cliff, so you need to play to your strengths. The gloves are off, the woman is poisonous. It’s no longer about winning Seb back, it’s about saving him; saving him from that toxic trollop. You are his best friend. It’s time to prove it.”
Lottie was making a lot of sense. But even so, I moved the gin bottle out of her reach. It was rare to hear her swear, and she had been letting rip like a sailor on shore leave. But she was spot on, there was no denying it.
I suddenly felt drained and exhausted by it all. But that would have to change. Lila of old needed to waken up within me, like the phoenix rising from the ashes, ready to take flight.
Seb had always been there for me whenever I had needed him, and I had thanked him by taking him completely for granted. Now he needed me, and I was going to be there for him. Even if we never became a couple and he hated me for telling him truth, he was going to listen. He had to.
I held a spring roll aloft as if it were a sword and addressed the room drunkenly.
“By the power invested in me, I shall bring down the bitch. As Lottie said, I am Seb’s muse in the masterpiece that is his life, and as such let’s get this disaster-piece on the road.”
I fell back onto the sofa to the sound of my friends’ applause ringing in my ears.