Chapter 26
Itold him everything I knew, such as it was. And he let me speak, never interrupting me for a second, just letting me get everything off my chest.
We were sitting opposite each other, as if I was his client. And that’s how I felt, like a guilty woman pleading my case. He regarded me with steady eyes and an unreadable expression, his hands knitted together under his chin.
Finally, I was done. I sat silently, my head slightly bowed as the seconds passing excruciatingly slowly while I waited for the verdict.
And then the axe dropped. He was angry. No strike that he was furious. And for someone so perennially placid and easy-going, it was shocking to see.
“I’m surprised at you, Lila, I really am!”
Seb was out of his chair now and pacing around his office.
“I know you’re mad at her, but to say she’s been lying about her ex is too much, Lila, even for you.”
Even for me? What the hell was that supposed to mean? I knew I could be a little tough at times, but I was always fair. And I never lied. OK, I might occasionally exaggerate about a couple of inches in length to massage a man’s ego, or insist a girlfriend’s arse looked good in a dress when in truth it was so huge it could be seen from space like the Great Wall of China. But I would never ever make up something like this.
Maybe I had been wrong about Seb, and he didn’t really know me at all.
“It’s true, Seb! I saw her with him yesterday, and he wasn’t the brute she’d led us to believe. In fact, she was the one that was treating him like dirt; she was talking to him like he was a piece of shi…”
Seb held up his hand to silence me, as if I was a naughty schoolgirl that needing scolding. And not in a good way.
“Enough, Lila, I don’t know what you think you saw, but you were wrong. Jo wouldn’t lie about something like that. She’s really opened up to me about how bad their relationship was, and how frightened she was. She was genuinely upset when she confided in me as her friend. You just can’t fake that.”
Can’t fake that? That was a laugh. The woman was as fake as a wristwatch on the Mona Lisa. Faking a few tears was nothing to her, I was sure of it.
I knew that Seb always saw the best in people, but this time I knew he was wrong. Jocasta had pedalled the same sob story to me at the spa, and I’d fallen for it hook line and sinker too. But I knew better now.
I knew what I had seen yesterday, and I might be pushing fifty, but my eyesight was as sharp as my wit. That was no abused woman beaten down by a man.
“But Seb, I know what I saw.”
His expression was steely.
“You’ve clearly got an issue with Jo, and you’re seeing things that aren’t even there. Wanting to think the worst of her. She’s told me how she thinks you’ve got it in for her.”
He sighed deeply before continuing.
“I don’t like to say this, Lila, but she’s of the opinion that you might be a bit jealous of her, being as she’s younger and…”
His voice trailed off and he looked down at his shoes with obvious embarrassment. He clearly didn’t want to hurt my feelings.
Too late. It wasn’t that my feelings were hurt, they were bloody eviscerated.
How fucking dare she. The cheek of the little moo, telling all and sundry that I was jealous of her. I had an issue with her. And now Seb thought I would pedal a false narrative, just to make her appear bad. Poor little put-upon Jocasta. Don’t make me laugh.
I wanted to know what else she’d said, though. I was nothing if not a glutton for punishment.
“And what else did she say, Sebastian?”
His eyes darted away from me for a second. He knew I was angry with him when I used his name in its entirety. When his eyes returned, they met mine and they locked for a few seconds.
The blueness of his irises were intense, and suddenly I felt I might drown in them. Unexpectedly a woozy feeling came over me, like the oxygen was being sucked out of the room. I worried I might faint, but he continued to gaze deeply into my eyes, not breaking contact for a moment.
“She said that you had a problem with her because you wanted me for yourself. She said she thought you might be in love with me.”
I was holding my breath now, my heart beating hard in my chest so hard I felt sure he must be able to hear it.
His eyes dropped down suddenly, breaking the spell.
“I told her not to be ridiculous, though. You’re not interested in me, you never have been.”
It was my moment. My time to tell him. To speak my truth and spill the contents of my heart and hope he would gather up the broken pieces and put it back together. Make it whole again. To sweep me up into his arms in a passionate embrace.
But instead, I just laughed. A cold and hollow sound.
“Yeah, totally ridiculous.”
My back was to him, and I marched out of the room as quickly as I could, pleased he couldn’t see the tears that were collecting in my eyes.