Chapter Ten #2
Each step I took reminded me what a stupid fucking idea this was, but I kept my breathing steady and my movements controlled, Seraphine following behind me.
I was hyperaware of every sound, every inch of ice beneath our feet.
We reached the car, and I wiped the snow from the door trying to find the door handle.
About ten feet away, I could make out the dark shape of my waterproof cache. I’d stored extra fuel and supplies my first week here. Above anything, I liked to be prepared.
“Keys?” I held out my hand, noting hers was shaking when she passed the keys over. “We’re halfway done, little lamb.” I didn’t know if I was trying to reassure myself or her at this point.
The door opened and she reached inside, going straight for the glove box. Inside were boxes of ammunition, and she stuffed them into a duffel bag in the front seat. I grabbed the shotgun and bag from her, scanning the ice. Confident it was safe, I moved closer to the shoreline and tossed her bag.
The waterproof case was exactly where I’d left it. It was frozen in the ice, but still accessible. As I knelt down to chip around the edges of the ice, something in the snow caught my attention.
Footprints.
Boot prints, way too big to be Seraphine’s, surrounded my cache. Maybe size eleven or twelve, heavy tread marks. They led from the tree line to the cache, then back again. My blood turned cold as I realized someone had found my cache and investigated it.
Cyrus? My pulse quickened as rage started to flow through me.
Relax.
But I couldn't. The prints weren’t old. They cut cleanly through over a foot of snow. Someone had been here during the blizzard, or right after.
No one should have been able to make it up here in the storm. Which meant they had a reason to. I pushed the anger and fear deep down inside of me where they belonged. Losing control wasn’t going to help us right now. I worked my knife around the frozen case, trying to free it from the ice.
“I see the bracelet; it’s in the back window!” Seraphine called out.
“Forget the bracelet,” I shouted back over the wind. “We have what we came for. Ice is too unstable.”
Her face fell as she glanced back inside the car. “I can’t leave without it, Valen.” She was already scrambling to open the back door. “I’m lighter than you. The ice will hold. Just stay there.”
“Seraphine, no.” I hurried over to grab her, but she jerked just out of my reach and climbed into the back.
Stubborn little fool. My heart hammered as she crawled over the seats and reached into the far-left corner of the trunk window. A piece of fucking jewelry wasn’t worth her life. It took everything in me not to yank on the rope and drag her into my arms where she’d be safe.
After a moment, she climbed backwards out through the car. “Got it!” Her face lit up as she clutched the silver piece of jewelry.
I squeezed my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose. She was going to be the fucking death of me. “Let’s go before I spank your ass red.”
She chuckled and I turned, making my way back to shore.
“Don’t worry, Valen. Everything’s—”
A crack interrupted her, and we both froze. It wasn’t like the noises we’d heard earlier. This time, it was sharp, violent, like a gunshot had echoed from underneath the lake.
The ice gave away all at once. One second she was looking at me with a triumphant grin, the next she plunged through the black water below. The sudden shift created a domino effect, fracturing the ice around my cache and sending it plunging into the lake with half of her vehicle.
Every cell in my body went into overdrive. I’d thought I knew what real fear was, but nothing compared to the feeling as her head disappeared. The rope pulled taut, and I threw myself toward the hole, reaching for her.
I yanked on the rope. Her head emerged just seconds later. She gasped, choking on water as she tried to hold on to the edge of the ice.
“I’ve got you!” I hauled on the rope, using every inch of strength I had to pull her back through. “Don’t fight me, Seraphine. I’ve got you.”
Pulling her out was like pulling dead weight. Her clothes were soaking wet, dragging her down. She coughed up water as I grabbed a hold of her. When I finally had her on solid ice, she was shaking so violently, I could hear her teeth chattering.
I picked her up in my arms and carefully made my way back to shore. The last thing we needed was for both of us to fall through. Once we were back on solid ground, I hiked back up the slope, adrenaline pushing me faster than I’d thought possible.
I kicked open the cabin door and carried her straight to the fireplace and stood her up. Her lips were blue, her whole body shaking uncontrollably.
“I’m so cold, Valen,” she mumbled as she reached for the blanket.
“I know, little lamb; we need to get you out of these clothes.” I ripped off her hat and gloves, then took off mine. “Hypothermia sets in quickly.”
She nodded, but her hands were shaking so hard, she couldn’t grab onto the zipper of her jacket. I brushed her fingers away and tugged it down. My heart was pounding violently, worst-case scenarios running through my mind.
I peeled off her wet clothes, leaving her naked in front of me. My breath caught at the sight of her. Pale skin flushed from the cold, every delicate line of her body trembling. She was beautiful, even like this. But fragile. Too fragile.
“You’re too cold. I don’t have time to wait for the water to heat,” I muttered. “Body heat, Seraphine. It’s the fastest way to warm you up.” My clothes came off next and I dragged her down to the carpet, wrapping us up in the fur blanket in front of the fire.
I rubbed my hands up and down her arms, desperate to transfer my body heat to hers. She was still shivering and quiet. Too quiet. I pulled her tight against me until we were molded against each other. My hands traveled up and down her body, rubbing, frantic.
“Talk to me,” I growled as I leaned back. Her eyelids were drooping closed, and I shook her. “You gotta stay awake, Seraphine. C’mon, talk to me. Tell me about your sorority sisters.”
Her eyelids flew open at that, hurt appearing behind her gaze. I knew it was the only way to get her attention. Let her focus on her hurt and pain, not the coldness of her body.
Her breath hitched as she stared up at me. “Why?”
“Because you’re going into shock and I need you to stay with me.”
She was quiet for a long moment, but when she finally spoke, her voice was soft and broken.
“Courtney wanted to be a lawyer. She was determined to change the world. Fierce. Protective.” Her voice wavered, but she continued.
“And Maya wanted to be a teacher. She used to tutor kids for free on the weekends.”
I let her talk about her friends, constantly rubbing my warmth into her skin. After some time, she finally stopped trembling, her skin warming up.
“I’ve had this terrible guilt, Valen. My therapist called it survivor’s guilt. Sometimes I think the wrong person survived. They were all so much better than me.” Her laugh was hollow. “I was just some stupid art student who spent her time hiding behind her sketchbook.”
“Seraphine…”
“All these years I’ve felt like I’m taking up space that should have belonged to them. Like I was living a life that I hadn’t earned.”
I tilted her chin up so she was forced to look at me. “You think surviving was about who deserved it more?”
She nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“That’s not how it works, little lamb. You didn’t survive because you deserved it more or less than them. You survived because that’s just how life goes. It’s unfair. Cruel.” I wiped her tears away with my thumb. “It’s what you do with that survival that matters.”
“But I haven’t done anything with it, Valen.”
“Yes, you have.” I wanted to shake some sense into her.
How could she not see? “You traveled the world completing their dreams. You started a business so you could help people process grief. You came back here to face the man who destroyed your life.” I gripped her chin, not letting her look away even though I could tell she wanted to. “You think that’s nothing?”
She was quiet, her eyes searching mine for something.
“Your friends didn’t die so you could spend the rest of your life apologizing for existing. For breathing. You lived, and now you get to honor them by living the best life you can, not just surviving day by—”
Before I could finish, her lips pressed into mine. The kiss was soft, tentative at first. My fingers wrapped in her hair, bringing her against me. She tasted like tears, hope and something indefinably sweet.
I deepened the kiss, wanting to take everything from her.
Her mouth, her breath. I’d spent six years fantasizing about revenge.
Six years dreaming about her. But this… this was much worse than anything I could have ever imagined.
Because now that I’d tasted her, felt her body melt into mine, there was no fucking going back.
She was mine now, whether she realized it or not.
I’d kill for her.
Burn the world down for her.
But the only thing I wouldn’t do was let her go.