13 #2
My cheeks flush. I still have a little common sense left that screams at me not to go near him again. He’s dangerous and violent. But the other part of me, the part that has been dreaming about him for months and even years, throws all that away.
The skin on my inner thighs still hurts, but there’s something else.
When I shift my gaze down, I see a couple of bandages on the small wounds on each leg and dried bloodstains beside them.
I shake my head as if that could crush the fluttering sensations that fly nonstop across my chest. It takes me a while to get rid of all the traces of his teeth and blood on my body.
A burning sensation on my cheeks keeps me aware of what happened, like a punishment that keeps reminding me how out of my mind I really am.
“Good morning,” I say as I enter the kitchen.
“Hi,” Jason replies curtly, refocusing his attention on his cell phone screen.
“Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed.”
“I can’t stand that voice of yours. It makes me want to vomit,” he mutters with a snort. I want to ask more about his sudden bad mood, but my eyes fall on the pancakes on his plate. “I left some for you in the pan.”
“Did you make them?”
“Are you really doubting that now? I learned to cook before I learned to talk,” he replies with a smirk, putting his phone aside and stuffing a large piece into his mouth.
With a huge smile, I lift the lid off the pan. My excitement vanishes when I find two burnt pancakes. They don’t even look edible. They look more like two pieces of charcoal.
“What the hell is this?” I ask, lifting the sticky batter with a fork.
“It’s just a little burnt. Just scrape off the black part,” he retorts in a matter-of-fact tone.
“The black part? I see nothing but black in all the food.”
An incoming call on my phone interrupts our argument. Seeing Romina’s name on the screen fills me with disgusting guilt.
“Hi, what’s new?” She says on the other end.
“Nothing interesting here. How are you?”
“Well, this isn’t the best time for me,” she mutters in a low voice, then there’s silence.
“Hey, do you want to go to a rock concert? If I stay at home one more day, I’m going to go crazy.”
“Sure, tell me where to meet you.”
From here I can hear a bit of what will be the rock concert Romina mentioned earlier. When I find her, I wave my hand back and forth so she can see me.
“Call me if you need anything,” Lance says beside me. The frown he’s had on his face the entire trip has become more prominent.
“Yeah, okay,” I murmur as I open the door.
“You’re armed, right?” he asks for the fifth time.
“Yes, Lance. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
“If Ray finds out I left you alone, he’ll kill me.”
“Relax. Maybe you should stay a bit and have a beer after all. To calm your tits,” I scoff, slamming the door shut.
The air is pleasantly warm, carrying the sweet smell of lavender, and the grass feels recently watered. I wave my hand when I spot Romina in the distance, leaning against a tree close to the entrance.
“Thanks for coming.”
“We’re friends. You don’t have to thank me,” I say.
“Not all friends are there for you in your worst moments.” An attempt at a smile accompanies her sweet words.
We walk to a part of the park where there is almost no one and sit on the grass. She looks more carefree than I do as she sits down on the ground. I blame my eagerness to always wear skirts for that.
“My friends still have a while before they come out,” Romina murmurs, taking a cigarette and a lighter out of her jeans pocket. “Hey, where did you leave Jay?”
“At home, I guess. Why?”
“Just curious. Since I always see you together, I thought he’d come with you.”
“How long have you liked him?” Romina chokes on the cigarette smoke and starts coughing.
“I don’t like him. I’m just attracted to him, for one night only.” My brother attractive? To me, he looks like one of those red-haired gorillas.
“I’m surprised you haven’t done anything yet. You’ve known each other for a long time,” Isay.
“Yes, but I was with Matt before.” She puts out the rest of the cigarette in what appears to be a small plastic box.
“How are you handling that?” I ask, tilting my head to one side.
“I’m going to therapy. It helps a lot. It also made me see he was nothing but an idiot. He didn’t deserve me.”
“He was. At least Jason is a much better boyfriend,” I suggest, raising both eyebrows.
“Don’t even think about it. I don’t want to know anything more about romantic relationships. One night and then goodbye,” she retorts with a half-smile as she gets up.
“Sure,” I mutter sarcastically, trying to follow her footsteps while brushing some leaves off my skirt. “Where are we going?”
“To the dressing rooms,” she replies with a broad smile.
“Tell me there’s an AC or something in there, my feet are melting,” I say.
When we reach a kind of mobile home a few meters behind the stage, a young man stops us, asking for our IDs.
“Let us in,” Romina demands in a brusque tone.
“You’re not allowed in here, so get out.”
“We can wait outside,” I say. She shakes her head. I jump a little when I hear the door behind me.
“What’s going on?” A guy with tattooed arms and blond hair opens the door. He’s quite attractive, almost like a magazine model. His slim body isn’t overly muscular, and his green eyes seem to glow even in the dark.
“These two girls want to sneak in,” the guard says dismissively. Who the hell does he think he works for? The Rolling Stones? The tattooed blond smiles broadly when he meets Romina’s gaze.
“Let them in.”
She gets into the van and melts into a tight embrace with the boy.
He slides his hand down her back and buries his nose in her dyed hair, adding more intimacy to the encounter.
It doesn’t look sexual, just two friends hugging each other after a long time.
When I see they are taking longer than expected, I decide to speak up.
“Hello.”
The guy pulls away and looks at me with a polite smile.
His face looks familiar. Maybe I’ve seen him at a concert before.
He brings one of my hands to his lips, barely touching it.
Even though I don’t know him at all, I don’t find the gesture unpleasant.
At first glance, he seems like someone who would be easy to get along with.
That’s what I thought at the time, when I still didn’t know him.
“Denis, nice to meet you.”
“Lena.”
“Would you like something to drink?” he asks.
“Yes, please. Anything is fine.”
He goes off somewhere with Romina, and I sit down on a sofa. In front of me are James and other guys I don’t really recognize. I make a feeble attempt to smile when James waves at me.
When the blond guy returns, he throws me a can of some brand of beer, which I clumsily catch. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to drink alcohol on an empty stomach, but I downed it anyway, almost in one gulp.
“I didn’t know you were a musician.” I look at James.
He is sitting in a corner, strands of brown hair falling across his forehead, brushing against the piercing in his left eyebrow.
I have to admit that those sea-green eyes make him stand out from the crowd.
He doesn’t have any tattoos, but he has quite a few piercings.
Based on the protrusion in his T-shirt, I’d guess he even has his nipples pierced.
“Now you know,” he says, wanting to end the conversation.
His apathetic answers and distant attitude are something I could get used to between now and the end of summer.
After a couple more cans of beer, I feel like my bladder is about to explode.
I bite my lower lip when I see Romina coming out of the trailer.
“I need to go to the bathroom. Urgently,” I murmur, jumping up and down on the spot.
“It’s the second door on the right,” she says.
While the others leave the trailer, I try to find the restrooms. I see that one of the two doors is half open and decide to take a peek to make sure it’s not the bathroom.
On the other side, James is sitting on the edge of a bed with his head tilted on a small table covered with white powder spread out in lines.
You don’t have to be very smart to know what that is.
I watch in bewilderment as he brings his face closer and closer to the table until he stops and throws his head back.
I quickly slip into the bathroom, trying not to make any noise, deciding that for the moment it would be better to forget what I saw.
After all, it’s none of my business what he does.
When I’m done, I go looking for Romina and find her waiting for me by the door.
The others seem to have already gone up on stage.
“Come on. It’s about to start.” She grabs my wrist and almost drags me to a spot in the second row.
For a moment, I feel a little suffocated by the number of people around me, but these feelings disappear when I see James ready to play the drums. How did he get there so quickly?
The concert lasts about an hour and a half.
They play pretty well, and of course the fact that it is rock music is a plus because it’s one of my favorite genres.
After that, we spend more time with Romina’s friends in the trailer.
Now and then, I glance over at James. He’s chatting with the others as if nothing were wrong, and I don’t know why that makes my curiosity about him skyrocket.
A couple of hours later, I say goodbye and walk to where Lance is supposed to be waiting for me in the car. I only find my father in the driver’s seat with an unfriendly look on his face. Shit.
1Lyubov’ : love
2Moya lyubov’: my love
3Ty krasivaya: you are beautiful