36
“What did he say?” I ask. Grace, to my left on the sofa, makes a displeased face.
“He made me apologize to that idiot.”
“You owed him that.”
“You were an accomplice too. Besides, he robbed me and humiliated me in front of everyone,” she says.
“And you tried to kill him.” She clicks her tongue and looks away at the TV, where Keeping Up With The Kardashians fades into the background.
“You won’t do anything, right?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. She shakes her head.
“It’s better to leave it alone,” she shrugs her shoulders and narrows her eyes at something on my bed. I follow her gaze to the bank card and keys.
“Is that a black AMEX?” I nod very slowly, looking down at my fingernails. “Damn, girl!” she exclaims with a sly smile. Noticing my silence, her expression changes to a more serious one. “You’re not thinking of giving it back to him, are you?”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it,” I murmur with a pout, pretending not to care.
The weekly allowance my parents give me is more than enough to support me for the rest of the year.
“Spend it! What else can you do?” She glances at the piece of plastic between her fingers. “It has to have some money in it, right?”
“I suppose so,” I say in a low whisper. She gives me a look with her head tilted to one side.
“Why the long face? Your boyfriend, Mr. Magic Fingers and Golden Dick, just gave you a black AMEX with tons of money in it,” she scoffs, waving the card.
I let out a long sigh and watch her playing with my fingers until I decide to speak.
“He asked me to move in with him. Twice. And he gave me the keys to his house. Or houses. I don’t know.”
I’m not going to tell her about the other day, even though that’s what really baffles me.
I still can’t come to terms with the situation.
My sudden lack of sensitivity towards the whole situation, to be precise.
Not to mention the tingling in my hands every time the image of his body being riddled with bullets replays in my head over and over again.
Late at night, my stomach churns with the excitement you feel when you’re about to do something you’ve wanted to do for a long time, and my head aches, filling with blurry images that I still can’t make sense of.
I want to remember. The uncertainty about what I did in my early teens grows every day.
What disturbs me most is the slight suspicion that sooner or later my true self will resurface from wherever it is hidden and I will not know how to handle it.
“We’ll have to find another accountant before this whole mess blows up.” Denis mutters as he glances sideways at the ten-digit numbers on the papers in front of me, on the desk.
“You’re right. In fact, you’ll be in charge of that,” I say with a grin. Denis scowls.
“Now you’re going to make me recruit accountants too? Why don’t you just tell Sergei?”
The office's door swings open a second later, revealing my father with an unfriendly look on his face.
“I’m sick and tired of seeing you here every week, Kristoff. Find yourself another hole to fuck,” I mutter dismissing his presence as I turn my attention back to the documents.
“Explain to me what the hell you think you’re doing! Do you have any idea how much money you’ve lost us because of that stupid bitch!?” I look up and lick my lips. My skin twitches with the urge to get his blood on my knuckles.
“Repeat what you just said. Maybe then you’ll give me the pleasure of cutting out your tongue once and for all.”
“Watch your words with me. I’m your father.” I laugh. My laughter only growing when I see his furious face.
“I don’t have time for you,” I murmur, wiping away a tear that fell down my cheek from my hysterical laughter.
“And I don’t have time to fix your mistakes.”
The air in the room is starting to feel fucking tense. I get up from the chair and stand face to face with him.
“No one messes with what’s mine.” He stares at me in disgust, shaking his head.
“You better have Ray’s head in a week. If not, you can forget about your damn whore. I’ve been very patient with you.” My vision begins to blur with rage. My hands move on their own to grab him by his shirt, pulling him toward me.
“If you dare touch a single hair on his head, I’ll kill you!” I roar, my eyes burning with rage as I raise my fist, landing a blow directly to his face with enough force to break his nose. Denis grabs my arm and pulls me away from him before I can hit him a second time.
“Fuck. Calm down, man,” he says close to my ear, acting like some sort of dog whisperer trying to calm down a rabid dog.
The pressure he’s exerting on my neck and chest is making me gasp for breath, but even that can’t quite quell my rage. Just then Sergei comes in and watches everything with curious eyes.
“I’ll let your tantrums slide this time. But don’t forget the hand that fed you,” Kristoff mutters, smoothing his shirt and covering his nose with a smile. Then he starts walking toward the door and turns around before disappearing to speak one last time. “I’ll be back in a week.”
“What the hell was that?” Sergei asks after the door slams shut. I put a cigarette to my lips, needing my lungs to fill with smoke so that the rage burning in my veins would take a back seat.
“Family meeting,” Denis says mockingly.
“I swear by all the demons in hell that if I see him within a mile of her, I’ll kill him,” I whisper, blowing smoke out of my nose.
“What are you going to do about the other thing? I don’t think she’ll be too happy if you kill your father-in-law.”
“Do you think I’m an idiot? I know that.” Denis raises both hands in a gesture of peace.
“Relax your balls. I was just asking.”
“I want you to keep an eye on him 24 hours a day. I need to know his every move,” I mutter, lighting another cigarette. I would finish the whole box, and it wouldn’t be enough.
“I’m sure we’ll find something,” Denis says behind me, starting to squeeze my shoulders until I push his hands away with a sudden movement. “How about you put Ray on alert?” He asks with a grin from ear to ear. Sergei gives him a look of disdain before speaking.
“What are we going to tell him? Hey Ray, everything okay? In a few days we’re going to put thirty bullets in your ass and we wanted to get your blessing before we do it.
Oh, by the way, we’re taking your daughter with us because she secretly married this psycho.
” He points his head towards me. “Welcome to the family.” Denis clicks his tongue.
“When you put it like that, it sounds worse than it is.”
“You should consider thinking before you speak. It wouldn’t hurt,” Sergei retorts with a mocking smile.
“Okay. Tell us what you think. Enlighten us with your wisdom, Einstein.”
“I don’t want to hear another word,” I snap to both of them, throwing my head back and squeezing my eyelids shut. My eyes then go to Sergei’s. “Sign me up for one at eleven.”
“Done.”
“Not a bad plan, sign me up too,” Denis chimes in from beside him, flashing a smile.
“Do it yourself, I’m not paid to be your damn assistant,” he retorts before walking out, leaving Denis with an angry grimace.
“You should have killed him like you did his partner that day.”
I put the last bag I bought recently in its place and leave my dressing room when I hear a noise and footsteps on the other side.
The room is in total darkness, except for the small lamp that illuminates the bed and its surroundings.
My stomach flutters with butterflies when I see him standing by my furniture with his magnetic eyes calling to me.
His lips move in a small smile as I run to him barefoot.
The warmth of his chest making me flood with desire when I hold him in my arms.
“Come with me,” he murmurs softly, placing his lips on my nose.
“Now?” I ask, frowning. He ignores my words and takes my hand, leading us to the door. “Wait,” I murmur before going into my dressing room and taking my pink crossbody bag from Tiffany & Co.
I shove my keys and phone inside and put on some socks.
After, I wear the boots that match his. He doesn’t know it, but I tried to replicate his wardrobe into mine, buying the clothes and shoes he has but with my current size.
I’m that obsessed, if you ask me. I'm addicted to every breath he takes and everything he does, even if that includes him shoving a necklace down a man’s throat and slaughtering him like a savage.
“Give me a clue,” I whisper when we are already outside. He shakes his head with a smile and walks toward the window, causing my eyebrows to sink in confusion. “How did you open the door?” I ask when I see that the door is already open.
“A magician never reveals his tricks.”
“But you’re not a magician,” I clarify with amusement.
“You don’t know that.” I bite my lower lip when I see his half-smile, thinking how much I would like us to be in my room right now. After walking a few meters, we reach his motorcycle. My eyes light up and the question pops out of my mouth in a high-pitched voice.
“Can I?”
“No. This time you’re riding behind me,” he replies, holding a blindfold in his hands. “On the way back, you can drive if you want.”
Before putting the blindfold on me, he kisses the tip of my nose, sliding a green helmet over my head afterwards. Then he lifts me up and puts me on the back seat.
I wrap my arms tightly around his torso as I feel his body in front of mine, afraid I’ll fly out if I don’t.
When we stop at a windy open space, he takes my helmet off my head but leaves the blindfold over my eyes.
Then he takes us to another place. I gasp as I end up in his arms with my head resting on his chest.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask, receiving nothing but silence in response. The sound of an engine can be heard with every step of his boots as they strike something metallic. “Alek,” I whisper in an almost trembling voice, stirring in his arms.
“I’m here, love,” he replies, pulling me closer to him. Then he seems to sit down somewhere with me on top of him, and straps something over our bodies.