2. Lincoln
I love you.
It was on the tip of my fucking tongue. As I watch her car disappear down the road from behind my closed front door, I mentally scold myself.
I could have at least given her the fucking courtesy of saying it back before she left. Especially after she had to meet the demons who spawned me. It’s not easy keeping a brave face around them; they’ve perfected the art of subtly tearing someone down into little piles of self-deprecating dust.
But she did.
With more grace than anyone who came before her, she was polite and adorable, and more than my parents deserved.
And I broke her heart. She didn’t say it, but I saw the way her eyes guttered when I said she was just a friend. But she doesn’t understand my parents. They take everything beautiful in my life, anything that doesn’t directly benefit them, and they ruin it.
She doesn’t benefit them. She doesn’t come from money, doesn’t have any social status to exploit, isn’t in a job that they would approve of…
None of that matters to me, but they’ve run off my past three girlfriends for the same reasons. I won’t let them run off Lillian. Not when I can see a life, a future, a family with her in a way I never could with any of my exes. But I’ll need to proceed carefully with my parents. As I walk back down the hallway toward them, I think about what I’ll need to say.
Turns out I don’t need to because my mom doesn’t even give me the chance to speak. The second I’m back in the kitchen, she’s on me.
“What do you think you’re doing?” She glowers at me.
“What?” I ask back with an already weary sigh. Her eyes are locked on me with no small amount of displeasure while my dad leans against the counter, looking bored. It’s not fooling me, though. He may not be as vocal as my mom, but he’s as disappointed in me as often as she is. She just happens to be their mouthpiece.
“Chasing after that girl like a dog. I raised you better than that.” I refrain from telling her she didn’t raise me at all. It’s only because of the herd of nannies that I turned out like a halfway decent human being. “And that girl… dating below your level again. How predictable.”
Ah, there it is. The real reason she’s upset. It’s not that I debased myself by chasing after someone. It’s because that someone isn’t ‘mother-approved.’
Ignoring the fact that even though I denied dating her, my mom saw right through me anyway. “And who should I be dating? Stephanie? I don’t even know a Stephanie, and I’d bet all the money in my wallet that you don’t either.”
A beat of silence from both of them is all the confirmation I need. But she ignores my accusation. “When were you going to tell us you were dating someone, anyway? After your wedding?”
The way she’s emphasizing dating sounds…
“You guys weren’t eating on this side of town,” I say accusingly. It is starting to seem a little too convenient. They just happened to swing by to see me at the exact time Lillian was here. When they share a look, and I see my dad’s eyes dart briefly to my back door like he’s looking outside somewhere, it hits me.
My neighbors are close friends of theirs.
A couple they did business with years ago that they never fell out of touch with. Of course they’d run their mouths to my parents if they saw a strange car at my house. I suppose the only real surprise is we made it three months without a drop-in.
“Fucking Jensons,” I mutter.
My mother tsks. “They were just curious about the pretty blonde they’ve been seeing sneaking in at all hours of the day.”
“Nobody has been sneaking anywhere. Or did you forget this is my house?” That I bought with my own money, much to their chagrin. It’s why I live in a tiny little suburban three-bedroom instead of the million-dollar extravagance they tried to buy for me after my graduation from law school.
Don’t get me wrong—I make good money now. But when I was fresh out of law school and just starting with the family business, I wasn’t financially capable of buying a million-dollar home on my own.
When I turned down their bribe—I mean, offer—that came with an inground pool and a dining area suitable for any manner of party or business meeting, they were steaming. And when I bought this ordinary home that they wouldn’t want to be caught dead in, it was the final slap in the face for them.
But it was for this exact reason that I wanted to do it on my own. All their money and all their gifts come with this invisible little string that they get to tug on anytime they want. Their house, their rules.
“How could I ever forget?” she mutters under her breath, looking around my modest kitchen with open contempt.
One more of those looks and I think I may explode. “Are we done here? You got what you wanted. She left. Your turn.” I throw my arm out for them to walk down the hallway to the front door. The sooner they’re gone, the sooner I can call Lil and explain why I acted like a douche. Except they don’t move.
“You’re to stop seeing her,” Mother dearest orders, crossing her arms.
It makes me snort. “Not likely.” Not with the way my search history is loaded with engagement rings. It may be too soon to propose, but that doesn’t mean I can’t buy one and keep it in a drawer for the right time.
My insolence pisses off my father who has straightened at my tone. “Watch how you speak to your mother, you little shit.”
“You guys come into my house, interrupt my night, and I’m the one that needs to watch it? I’m not going to stop seeing her, and it’s time for you guys to leave.”
From the corner of my eye, I see my dad’s fists ball up tight, knuckles whitening, and I know he wants to take a swing at me. He hasn’t done that since I’ve gotten big enough to hit back. And make it hurt. My shoulders square and my muscles go tight, waiting for a blow.
But it doesn’t get that far because my mom says the words that drain any fight from me. The only reason they’re still able to tug on my leash. “How’s Rebecca this week, Jack?”
They both see the defeat in me, and my dad grins. “Still living a happy life up at that cushy resort. Though… it is starting to get pretty expensive.”
“Yes… the Wilkinson Institute was much more affordable,” my mother agrees, playing along with his manipulations.
This is why I—for the most part—do what they want. I tug as far as I can on that leash, and they let me, but when I go too far, they pull their trump card.
My fourteen-year-old sister Rebecca is undiagnosed bipolar. Last year, she tried to kill herself during one of her low episodes. After the incident, they tried locking her away in some cold, clinical mental institute. I was able to convince them to send her to a much nicer ranch-style therapeutic center for teens.
They did so, but now anytime they need me to fall in line, they threaten to pull her from it and drop her in the Wilkinson Institute which is known for its abusive staff. I talk to Becca at least three times a week. So I know how much she loves it on the ranch.
Since she’s under eighteen, I have no say. And I’d do anything for my sister. Even…
“Fine,” I grit out through clenched teeth. “It’s over, I’ll end it. Now get the fuck out of my house.”
The demand doesn’t even phase them because they know they’ve won. Smarmy smiles on their faces; they walk past me to leave.
“One day, you’ll thank us for this,” Gwen grins at me and then heads out the door.
Jack, a hand on the knob and one foot outside the door frame, leaves me with one parting jab. “I’ll be sure to give your sister a call this evening. She’ll be so happy to hear she gets to stay on the ranch.”
He and I both know no such call is being made. For the most part, our parents pretend she doesn’t exist. They make one obligatory visit every week or two weeks so they still seem like devoted parents on the outside. Other than that, they pretty much go no contact. Becca will never know the sacrifices I make for her. Not that I’d tell her because I would sooner jump off a bridge than have her feel like she was ever a nuisance, and not from Gwen or Jack either because they couldn’t be bothered.
The door slams shut behind Jack, leaving me alone with my thoughts—thoughts that have a heavy feeling building in my gut.
Because tomorrow, I have to end things with the woman I love to keep my sister safe.