Chapter 4
This was crazy.
What was she doing? She didn’t do well outdoors. She wasn’t like Clem. Everything out here scared her. Animals didn’t like her. Everything smelled so strong, so real.
So scary.
Why had she run off like that? What did she think she was going to do? That an Uber would just suddenly appear and pick her up to take her home?
That’s not your home, Lily.
That’s a place where your mother trapped you.
No, no, no that wasn’t true.
She’d chosen to stay in that house. With that . . . with that bitch.
Harvey had no idea what he was talking about. He didn’t know her.
And you just have to keep moving forward.
That was all. Just keep going. She’d find her way out of these trees eventually and back to civilization.
She tripped over a tree root and went sprawling onto her hands and knees. Pain flooded through her body, and she let out a small sob.
This was pathetic. She couldn’t even run without falling over.
What was wrong with her?
Clenching her hands into fists, she slammed them against the ground over and over.
“Fuck. Stop, Lily. Stop it right now.”
His voice was so stern that she froze. Lily hated disapproval. She hated disappointing people.
And she could tell that she’d disappointed Harvey. He suddenly appeared in front of her on his knees.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she sobbed.
To her shock, she found herself leaning into him, placing her head against his shoulder. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.
“Shh. Shh. It’s all right. This isn’t your fault.”
It was her fault. She was the one who’d run off.
“It’s all right, baby. It’s all right. You just have to remember that you don’t get to leave until you don’t want to.”
She still didn’t understand him, but she was too tired to try and work it out. He stood and lifted her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest like she was precious.
It was ridiculous, and she knew it was just wishful thinking. No one had ever thought her precious.
Then he carried her through the woods toward the cabin. And she found herself actually grateful to be going back there.
“How far did you actually think you were going to get?” he asked her. “What was the plan, baby?”
He shouldn’t call her baby. It wasn’t appropriate, but she couldn’t help the surge of happiness as she heard it.
She’d always wanted some sort of nickname.
No one had ever given her one, not her mother or her friends.
A long time ago, Clem used to call her Lils.
But she’d long since stopped calling her that, and Lily didn’t blame her.
In fact, she almost thought she might have told Clem to stop calling her that.
“Hmm, what was the plan? Where were you going to go? You don’t even know where you are, do you?”
He sat her down on the counter once more, but she was too tired to even hold her head up. So he picked her up and placed her on the sofa, laying her down and placing a blanket over her.
Suddenly, she realized she was filthy and lying on a forest green suede couch. But when she attempted to sit up, he put his hand on her shoulder. “Stay where you are.”
There was no way she could fight against that command. She was too broken. The last of her energy was draining away, leaving her an exhausted mess.
“I’m going to get the couch all dirty.”
“So?” he asked. “Who cares? Couches can be cleaned. There’s only one Lily, and she needs taking care of right now.”
She peeked up at him. “How can you be so lovely one moment and so terrifying the next?”
He smiled. “I guess it’s a gift.”
“Or curse,” she muttered, before she bit her lip, worried that she shouldn’t have said that. Would he lash out? Would he get angry?
But he just laughed. “Yeah, maybe it’s a curse in your eyes.”
In anyone’s eyes, she would argue, if she had the energy to argue.
Unfortunately, her eyes were starting to grow heavy-lidded. That was annoying. She couldn’t fall asleep right now. She wasn’t safe.
However, her body didn’t seem to understand that.