Chapter 17
You have my word I will try to keep myself from scaring you further. And that there will be no spankings.
The words were still playing through her mind hours later.
What had she done?
What was necessary. She’d laid down boundaries.
He’d responded in a way that she hadn’t quite expected. But it showed that he understood her feelings.
I never want you to be scared of me. To see me as anything like your mother.
What had she done?
Was this really the outcome that she wanted? For him to think that she looked at him and saw her mother? That she thought he was anything like her mother?
Because she didn’t.
She knew that everything he was doing was to protect her.
And maybe she didn’t mind that he liked to take charge.
Because he only wants what is best for you.
She needed to tell him that. To explain that she wasn’t scared of him. Or of any sort of punishment.
Quite the opposite, to be honest.
How did she say that, though? And if she did . . . what would it lead to?
Was she ready for anything more?
A groan escaped her.
Lord. She really wanted more, didn’t she? She wanted to experience that control in the bedroom. She wanted his bossy ass.
Did he still want her?
Had she completely messed this up? But how was she meant to know what was best?
Right now, she could really use some advice from an outside party. But she didn’t have anyone to ask.
She wished she had a better relationship with Clem.
Lily missed her. They’d had a couple of very brief conversations that felt a bit awkward.
Lily hadn’t wanted to tell her what was going on and ruin everything for her.
Clem sounded so happy and carefree. No, she wasn’t ruining that.
Plus she was now engaged. Clem needed to concentrate on the future and not look back.
Lily was now sitting on the window seat in the living room, staring out at the forest beyond. What should she do?
Backtrack?
Tell him that she now regretted what she’d said and hadn’t meant it.
Urgh, but he’d think she was an idiot.
Her uncertainty was eating a hole in her stomach and making her feel nauseous.
“Lily? Lily, hey, is everything all right?” He suddenly appeared in front of her, making her startle.
“What? What’s wrong?” she asked.
“That’s what I was asking you, baby,” he murmured, watching her closely.
“You were?”
“Yes. I’ve been standing behind you for the last thirty seconds, calling your name.”
She felt a blush fill her cheeks. “Oh. Sorry.”
“I’m worried about you.”
Lily blinked at him. “Worried about me?” That wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. She’d half-expected him to say that this was all over.
Before it had even begun.
“You seem lost, baby. You’re still not eating enough. Or sleeping well.”
“I slept well last night.” Because he’d been in bed with her.
Waking up this morning in his arms had been magical. She’d woken up feeling warm and rested.
Not cold and scared.
Imagine waking up that way every day.
To that kiss every day.
Lord, she could still feel that kiss. The way her lips tingled. How her entire body reacted.
“I really want you to think hard about talking to someone. We’ll start looking into it. Okay?”
She nodded, even though she wanted to tell him that her current issue wasn’t really anything to do with what had happened to her at the hands of her mother and Dr. Wallace, and more to do with her regret over their earlier conversation.
And the fact that she was too much of a coward to just take what he was offering.
“All right,” she replied.
“I have to go and meet Paddy. Are you sure you’re all right? I can have one of my guys come and sit with you.”
He was offering to get her a babysitter. No way. She didn’t think so.
“I’ll be fine,” she told him. “I’d rather be on my own.”
“I don’t know, baby. I feel like you’ve been on your own for far too long.”
What did he mean? She was never on her own. She’d lived with her mother her entire life. There’d always been somebody at the house, whether that was James or Selena or her mother.
“I’m never alone,” she said.
“Aren’t you?” He reached out a hand.
She took hold, surprised when he pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her. He held her tight, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
“I just want to take care of you, Lily. But sometimes I might take things too far and scare you. Which is the last thing I want to do.”
Lily shook her head. “No, no. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that. I didn’t really mean it. I don’t know what I mean half the time anymore, or what I want. Sometimes I don’t even know I want something, or I think I shouldn’t want it. This is all just new.”
He drew back slightly, and then grasped hold of her chin, tilting her head back so she had to stare up at him. He really was the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen in her life with his dark hair and intense hazel-colored eyes.
“I get it. And we can discuss this more later. I’ve got to go.”
Would he kiss her goodbye?
Did she want that?
Hell, yes. She absolutely did. And she waited with bated breath. However, when it came, it was just a brush of his lips over her forehead.
Disappointingly brief. And without the heat and fire that she’d experienced this morning.
But she tried to tell herself that it was fine.
Everything was going to be fine.
However that knot in her stomach seemed to be growing even larger.
Harvey cursed himself as he drove to meet Paddy.
What had he been thinking? He always had to push too far, too fast, didn’t he?
Lily couldn’t handle that. She was delicate, fragile. She needed to be handled with kid gloves. He needed to take things slower, or he was going to terrify her.
So from now on, he’d take a step back. No more making too many demands. The one thing he couldn’t do was let her leave, but he should listen to her about everything else.
That was going to be difficult for him, because he liked being in control. Everything went out the window when it came to Lily, though.
She was going to be his forever girl.
And he had to do this properly.
He parked outside Lily’s family home. This place looked cold and forbidding, even from the outside. How had Lily’s mother been running a house this large with no money?
Paddy pulled up behind him in a different vehicle than last night. A Rolls Royce Phantom.
He sighed as his younger brother climbed out.
“Have you ever considered trying to keep a low profile?”
“Sounds boring,” Paddy said cheerfully. “I’ll leave that to you old codgers.”
Old codgers sounded like something their grandfather would say.
Harvey just shook his head and turned toward the house. “Let me take the lead in there. You’re just here because Lily was worried I’d need a witness.”
“A witness? What are you planning on doing, brother?”
“Nothing like what I want to do. I don’t hurt women physically, but I am planning on turning her life into utter and total misery.”
“So just another Thursday afternoon for you, is it then, brother?”
Harvey shook his head at Paddy’s antics and walked over to the door, knocking firmly.
There was no reply.
But he’d kind of expected that.
“Mrs. St. Clary? It’s Harvey Gallagher. I’m here to talk to you about your daughter Lily.”
Still nothing. He glanced over at Paddy.
“Bit of B&E?” Paddy asked. “Should have come in the darkness of night for that.”
Agreed.
He knocked again, not ready to give up. He wasn’t leaving until he spoke to Roberta.
“We’re not leaving until we speak to you, Mrs. St. Clary”
Finally, the door creaked open, but it wasn’t Lily’s mother’s face that peeked out at them. It was a slightly younger woman with her hair pulled back into a severe bun.
“What do you want?”
Harvey raised his eyebrows in surprise at her tone.
“That’s a nice way to greet people at the door, isn’t it?” Paddy said cheerfully. “We’re here to speak to the old bat.”
“What? How dare you!” The woman attempted to close the door, but Harvey had had enough of playing Mr. Nice Guy.
He pushed his foot between the doorframe and the door, stopping it from closing entirely, and then he slowly pushed the door.
“Hey, you can’t do that. I’ll call the police,” the woman said, glaring up at him.
“Really? You’re going to call the police? Is that what your employer would want?”
She flinched back slightly, and he could tell that she wouldn’t be calling the police. It was all a bluff.
“Where is Mrs. St. Clary?” he asked.
“You still have no right to do this.”
“Well, she had no right to abuse her daughter for years, did she? And I’m sure the police are going to be very interested in what we have to tell them.”
Another flinch.
“Oh, this bitch knew all about what the old hag was doing to Lily,” Paddy said, moving closer to the woman. “I don’t like that. Do you like that, brother?”
“No, I don’t like that at all.”
“Selena, Selena! Where are you? Where is my coffee? And who was at the door. Ahh . . . it’s you.”
Roberta St. Clary might have been an attractive-looking woman if it wasn’t for the fact that the evil inside her distorted her outside appearance.
“Where is my daughter?” she demanded. “You took her from me. You kidnapped her.”
“Really? Did you see her protest as I carried her out? No, because she wanted to leave your evil clutches.”
“I will call the police and report you.”
“God, this conversation’s getting boring,” Paddy said as he walked over to a side table and picked up some wax apples that were sitting in a bowl.
He started juggling them. “We all know you aren’t going to call the police.
If you were, you would have done that already.
But you know that we have shit on you that the cops would just love to know. ”
Lily’s mother took a step back and nodded. “Fine. Come with me. Selena, serve us coffee in my study.” Turning, the older woman stormed off.
She really was a piece of work.
“Selena, you really should think about your future employment,” Harvey advised. “Although if I find out that you helped that bitch hurt my girl, then you’re going to pay.”
Selena grew pale. Turning, he nodded to Paddy, who put the wax apples back in the bowl and strolled after the old bat.