10 #2
“You really know how to sweet talk a girl, don’t you?” I deadpanned and she faux-moaned.
“Don’t be like that, babe,” she whispered. “I’ll be yours for as long as you’ll have me no matter what happens with Jamie or Ian or whomever.”
“Really?” I asked, suddenly dead serious. “You mean that?”
“Fuck, yeah, girlfriend,” she almost yelled.
“Seriously? You can’t tell?” She sat up and took my face in her hands.
“I am over the moon in love with you, Teri. So much so that is scares the shit out of me. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, man or woman.
I won’t go quoting all the cheesy rom-com lines that are bouncing around in my head right now but they all work. Every last one of them.”
“Give me one line, at least,” I begged, my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn’t believe she felt as strongly about me as I felt about her.
“No, that would ruin it,” she said with a knowing smile. “Just believe me when I tell you that I love you, Teri.”
“Do you love Ian, too?”
She sighed. “Yeah, but I’ve got to be careful with him. He’s not ready to hear it yet.”
“But I am?”
She kissed me. “I think so.”
We made love again and I couldn’t stop thinking about her and what she’d told me. I still can’t.
The day that Jamie is coming over for lunch begins with Lorna off early for a class, leaving me and Ian alone for longer than usual.
I dress more conservatively than I have been lately because he’s so nervous about giving a reporter, even a college newspaper reporter, the wrong idea about anything.
He’s so cute when he gets all bent out of shape about things like that.
“I’ll be out of the way the whole time,” I tell him as I clean up after breakfast. “You don’t have to worry about anything.”
“I know,” he allows reluctantly. If he could send me away for the day, I’m sure he would but I want to make a nice lunch for them before I disappear into another section of our immense house.
I still can’t get over thinking of it as our house. It’s such a thrilling thought.
“I just don’t want to give her the wrong impression,” he says for the umpteenth time since we heard about Lorna’s invitation. I smile and pat his hand.
“Are you still afraid of getting canceled, Ian?” I ask softly as I walk to him and nestle in his arms near the island in the kitchen. “It’s not like we’re doing anything to be ashamed of here.”
“No, of course not,” he protests half heartedly. I kiss his lips softly.
He gives me a look when we break from the kiss and it’s clear I surprised him. Which is fair because I surprised myself, too.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asks with a forced chuckle. “I mean, I love this but it’s… unusual, no?”
“I’ve been doing some thinking about this. And about us.”
“Define us, Teri.”
“You and me. You and Lorna. Lorna and me. Us.”
His eyes go wide. “Tell me more.”
“I’ve been trying to figure out just where I fit in all of this,” I tell him as I lean against his chest. He feels good. Better than good. “Does that make sense?”
“Of course,” he says and it’s perfect. I’ve never been with a man who could be comforting when I need him to be. I think it’s a function of his age but I don’t care. I just find his presence so soothing. “Is there anything I can say or do to help you figure it out, Teri?”
“No, just hold me like this for a bit. I like it when you hold me, Ian.”
“I like holding you, Teri,” he whispers and I close my eyes and nuzzle his chest. He smells great, feels even better and I find myself getting lost in the comfort of his embrace. It’s deliciously decadent, something I’m not used to in a relationship.
But I have work to do, so I reluctantly extract myself from his strong arms and kiss him again. He lets me go and I turn away to get to work on his lunch. But he lingers in the kitchen.
I decide this might be a good time to broach a subject I’ve been wanting to discuss with him since my interlude with Lorna in the laundry room.
“Do you mind if we talk?” I ask as he watches me cut vegetables for his lunch with Lorna’s new friend.
“No, not at all. What’s on your mind?”
I sigh and shoot him a look. He smiles and raises both eyebrows.
“When I moved in with you guys, I said I wanted to get my cleaning business up and running, remember?”
“Of course,” he says with a nod. “How’s that going?”
“That’s just it,” I respond with another look, more serious this time. “It’s not.”
“What’s the problem?”
I hesitate. Finally, I put the knife down and plant my palms on the counter. “That’s just it,” I whisper. “This place is the problem.”
He looks confused. “The house?”
“Everything.” I’m on the verge of breaking down which is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. “You, Lorna, the house…”
“Is it too much for you, because if you need to cut back…?” He raises his hands to placate me but he’s not getting it. I’m not communicating, something I’ve never had a problem with before I met Ian.
“No, it’s not that. It’s…” I look at the ceiling. “I’m too comfortable here. I like it – no, I love it here, and that’s killing my motivation to…” I look at him again and whisper, “Leave.”
“Then don’t, Teri. I don’t want you to go anywhere, and I know Lorna feels the same way.” He comes around the island and takes me in his arms again. I almost break down but he just holds me close and soothes me.
“It’s not what we agreed to, Ian,” I whisper, my voice cracking.
“I don’t want to be here under false pretenses and become a burden to you.
I mean, I love our arrangement but I don’t want to take advantage of you.
I know you were being generous when we agreed to my salary so I could save and start my business.
Now, it feels like I…” I trail off because I can’t think of how to say it without sounding like an idiot. Or a scam artist.
“Teri,” he says and it feels like he’s about to add something when he stops himself.
We stare at each other for a few seconds before he finds the words to go on.
“You are not taking advantage of me. I can afford your salary indefinitely if that’s your concern.
But more than that, we love having you here.
We want you to stay.” He leans back and touches my chin with his finger to raise my eyes to his.
“Really?”
“Look,” he says, suddenly all serious. “Lorna is at least two years away from completing her degree, maybe three. She’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Why should you?”
“You mean that, Ian?” I ask, my heart swelling in my chest. “It’s not what we agreed to.”
“I don’t remember any kind of timeline when I agreed to bring you on as my, uh, housekeeper. The house will need keeping indefinitely.” He pulls me to him again. “And I love having you here, Teri.”
My tears are staining his shirt but it’s just cotton so I shouldn’t have any trouble cleaning it. It occurs to me that he shouldn’t wear nice shirts when I’m emotionally vulnerable which seems to be happening all the damn time lately…
“Hey, you guys,” Lorna says out of the blue. “Look who I brought home with me…” I turn to see her and a redheaded woman I don’t know. “Oops,” Lorna adds.
I push away from Ian and wipe my eyes.
“You’re a little early,” Ian says awkwardly as we back away from each other.
“Yeah,” Lorna says with a chagrined look. “We ran into each other at the coffee shop and I decided on the spur of the moment to…”
The woman steps forward and offers her hand to Ian. “Hi, Ian,” she says with a bit of attitude as she ignores me completely.
“Hi,” he says tentatively as he shakes her hand. “Ian Chandler.”
“Jamie Martin.”
Here we go.