30. Sutton
Chapter thirty
Sutton
Bash gently wipes the gel off my stomach and helps me off the table.
“I’m having a girl,” I whisper.
He pulls me into his arms. “You are. How do you feel about that, momma?”
I sink into his embrace. “Scared. Excited. All the things,” I admit.
“Little princess is going to be so spoiled and loved,” he says, his hand resting on my belly.
I put my hand on top of his. “I know.” I stare down at our hands on my stomach for a few beats. “We should probably go. I’m sure they need this room for the next patient.”
He lets go of me, and I immediately miss his warmth, his touch. He makes me feel safe. Loved. Cared for. All the things I wasn’t sure I’d ever get.
I push those thoughts aside. Now is not the time to be thinking about how he makes me feel.
I grab my purse, and he guides me out of the room, his hand on my lower back. We make a quick stop at the receptionist’s desk to make my next appointment, and then we’re on our way.
The ride back to the condo is silent as I’m lost in my thoughts.
Everything feels so much more real now I know the sex of my baby.
I have to think about names for her, figure out where I’m going to live when this arrangement is over, and start buying baby items. I’m halfway through this pregnancy.
The next twenty weeks are going to fly by.
“Where are you going?” I ask when he makes a right turn at a light we should have turned left at.
“You’ll see,” he tells me, and a few minutes later he’s pulling into a shopping center parking lot.
He finds a space and parks the car before helping me out. He steers us over to a mommy and baby clothes boutique and holds the door open for me.
“What are we doing here?” I ask when we get inside.
A saleswoman greets us and tells us to let her know if we need help.
“First of all, we’re going to pick out some things for baby girl, and then we’re going to find new clothes for her mama.”
“Bash,” I protest but let him lead me over to the newborn clothes.
“Please, let me spoil you and her.” He steps closer to me and drops a kiss to my cheek.
“I know you’ve been struggling with less and less of your clothes fitting lately, and I imagine it’ll get harder.
As much as I enjoy seeing you in my clothes”—his eyes darken—“and don’t mind you wearing them, I’m guessing you’d rather have your own. ”
I pat his chest, the last stones of the wall around my heart crumbling. If I wasn’t in love with him before, I am now.
“I was going to go over to one of the box stores and buy a few staple pieces to get me through or order a couple of things online.” I glance around the store, lowering my voice. “This place is outside of my budget.”
He chuckles, taking my hand and kissing the back of it before entwining our fingers. “But it’s not outside of mine. Let me spoil you. Only the best for my girls.”
And my panties are ruined.
My girls.
I like the sound of that.
Does he mean it the way I hope he does?
“Fine.” I gesture for him to lead the way.
We wander around the newborn girl clothing section, and he picks a few floral onesies, a short and shirt set with sea creatures on it, and a couple of multiple colored long sleeve pajamas.
He keeps grabbing more and more newborn clothing until I finally tell him that babies don’t fit into that size for very long.
We end up choosing a cute pink dress in three-to-six months and a few different colored onesies in a variety of sizes.
“Come on.” He tugs me toward the maternity section.
The saleswoman comes over and takes the baby clothes from Bash before disappearing again.
“This is overwhelming,” I tell him, staring at the racks of clothing. He’s right, the majority of my clothes don’t fit well, and even the bigger sized bras and underwear I purchased a few weeks ago are already getting too small. A few new outfits would be nice.
“Want me to find the sales lady?”
I shake my head and make my way down an aisle, picking out a few pairs of dress pants in different sizes, since I don’t even know what size I am, along with some office-appropriate shirts.
Turning, I find an adorable sundress and spot it in my favorite shade of blue.
Might as well get it in teal too. I can put a cardigan over top of it and wear it to the office.
“Do you want to try these on?” The saleswoman asks from behind me.
“That’d be great.”
I look around for Bash and spot him walking toward me with a pile of clothes. I swallow. He may have gone a little overboard.
She nods, gesturing for me to follow her to the back of the store where she proceeds to open one of the dressing rooms for me.
“You sure picked out quite a few things,” I tell Bash.
He shrugs as the saleswoman takes the clothing from us and hangs it up inside the dressing room.
“I found a couple pairs of stretchy shorts that seemed like they’d be comfortable and a few shirts that felt super soft, including a few sleeveless ones. Figured you’d want to be comfortable come summer. Plus, I grabbed a couple of skirts like those flowy ones you always wear.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course, love. Now go try them on.” He tips his chin toward the dressing room door where the sales lady has reappeared.
“If you need anything, just let me know,” she says as I step inside, closing the door behind me.
All the hooks are filled with clothing, and even the small bench in the corner has items piled on it. This is going to take a while.
I grab the blue sundress in the smaller size and tug it over my head.
It fits, but it hugs my boobs and belly tighter than I’d like.
Sighing, I take it off and reach for the bigger size and pull it over my head.
That feels better. I guess. I stare at myself in the mirror, my hand drifting down to rest on my pregnant belly.
The woman looking back at me is unrecognizable. She has my hair and my eyes, but her body has changed. I take a shaky breath.
“You doing alright in there, love?”
“I don’t know …” I whisper because while physically I’m fine, I’m not sure if I am emotionally.
A light knock comes on the door. “It’s me. Open up.”
I unlock the door and pull it open.
“What’s wrong?” He looks me up and down. “It’s pretty on you, but if you don’t like it, there are plenty of other options …”
“I don’t recognize myself,” I whisper, gesturing at my body. “It freaked me out a little.”
“Sutton, love.” He crowds into my space, tilting my chin up.
“You’re beautiful. You’re glowing. Have been for months.
You’re growing a human. Of course your body is going to change.
” He rests his hand on my belly, leaning closer to whisper in my ear, “Your pregnant belly is so sexy. It’s hard to keep my hands to myself.
” I swoon at his words. “I want to drop to my knees and worship you right here.”
I clench my thighs together at the thought. Okay, maybe being pregnant has its perks.
“I know my body is changing. I guess I’ve just been in denial as to how much. The harsh fluorescent lights in here aren’t making me feel any better.” I let out a watery laugh.
He furrows his brows, studying me. “Anything I can do?”
“You telling me you think I’m sexy is enough. I appreciate it and you.”
“I’m glad I was able to help.” He drops a kiss to my cheek before letting me go and taking a step back.
“I’ll be over there.” I peek my head out and look to where he’s pointing at two chairs lined up next to full length mirrors on the other side of the other dressing room. “If you need me, just yell.”
I step back into the fitting room to try the rest of the clothes on. When we leave the store an hour later, it’s with what feels like an entire new wardrobe for me.
Bash kept bringing me more things to try on, and he even got the sales lady involved.
Eventually, I had to put my foot down and say no more, because I’m pretty sure I have enough clothing to last multiple pregnancies.
But given what he said earlier about how he finds me being pregnant sexy, maybe that’s his intention.
Crazy as it sounds, I don’t think I mind.
“Thank you,” I tell him once we’re back in his car.
He leans over and kisses me, gently, sweetly, leaving me breathless.
“You don’t have to thank me, love.”
“I feel as though I should. This is above and beyond the fake husband thing.” I point toward the trunk where all the bags are.
He peeks over at me before putting the SUV in reverse and backing out of our spot. “I told you, let me spoil you and little miss. I like doing it.”
He takes my hand over the center console, and we lapse into silence.
I like having him take care of me. Knowing there’s someone in this with me. I want this with him.
I’ve come to realize, and what I think I’ve always known, is that although Bash and my father are both wealthy men, that’s where the similarities end.
While my father uses his money and power to manipulate those around him to get what he wants, Bash uses it for good, to help others, and while it’s evident he has money based on the SUV he drives and the upscale condo he lives in, if you saw him on the street and didn’t know he was a professional hockey player, you wouldn’t have any idea he was well off.
He’s just like any other guy, well, any other guy who’s from England and plays professional hockey.
Okay, so not exactly like any other guy, but still.
“What are you thinking about, love?”
I peek over at the man I love, the one who I very much want this to be real with. “You.”
He makes the turn into the parking lot before speaking. “Is that so? And what about me?”
“Just everything about you. How I wish I could go back in time and say yes to you when you asked me out all those times.”
His hold on the steering wheel tightens as he guides the SUV into a parking spot. “What are you saying, love?”
“I have regrets,” I whisper. “And now it’s too late.” I let out a watery laugh.
“Sutton,” he says as I put my hand on the door handle.
“Nothing we can do about it now. We can’t change the past.” I get out of the car, and he meets me at the back. We’re silent as we unload the trunk and make our way into the building and upstairs to his condo.
I set about unpacking and hanging up my new clothing while he disappears to answer a phone call. I leave the baby clothes in a pile on the bed so I can take the tags off and wash them later.
“I want this to be real,” Bash says from behind me.
I spin around, wanting to make sure I wasn’t imagining it, but no, he’s standing in my doorway, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, shirtless, all his tattoos and his silver chain on display, staring at me. I fight the urge to fan myself and, instead, take a step closer to him.
“W-what?”
“I want this to be real. You and me.”