Chapter Six #2
“What were you supposed to do, Aaron?” Fuck, she sounded pissed.
“If you went back up that mountain to try to save your friends, what would have happened?” Sunny pulled herself up from his lap and got out of the tub, refusing to even look at him.
He stood to follow her, helping her pull on her robe.
He was afraid that he had already lost her with the way that she was running away from him.
“I don’t know what would have happened. I might have been able to save one or two of them.
Instead, I ran like a coward while I listened to them scream for help.
I hear those screams of pain and men dying every night in my sleep.
I have nightmares where I see their faces and listen to them tell me how I let them down.
The only time that I’ve had a decent night’s sleep was our night together and last night.
You help me to forget, Sunny.” He held out his hand to her, hopeful that he could still reach her before she completely shut him out.
She shook her head, and he let his arms drop to his sides, defeated.
“Please don’t tell me that you ran away like a coward, Aaron Steele.
You did what you needed to do to survive, and I’m so fucking thankful that you did.
” Sunny threw herself into his arms and wrapped hers around him.
He was shocked that she was able to touch him after what he had admitted.
How could she be grateful that he was alive when fifteen of his friends were not?
“God, Aaron, all these years, and you’ve been dealing with the guilt that you left those men to die?
If anyone is to blame, it’s your captain.
He didn’t make the right call and had you all retreat.
Even he couldn’t be held accountable for knowing how the winds were going to shift and blow the fire back in your direction.
Maybe you should cut yourself a break.” Aaron couldn’t help himself; he pulled Sunny in closer, holding onto her like she was his lifeline.
Truthfully, she was becoming that and so much more to him.
“Thank fuck you don’t hate me, baby. I thought for sure that you wouldn’t want anything to do with me after I told you the whole story.” Sunny sighed against Aaron’s chest.
“So, you thought that I would be pissed off at you for surviving? That I wouldn’t understand the basic human emotions of loss and guilt that you experienced that day?
You don’t give me enough credit, Aaron.” She pulled away from him, and he immediately felt her loss.
Tag warned him that Sunny could go from weepy and sobbing to a complete badass spitting fire in thirty seconds flat, but he just didn’t experience it yet.
Her pregnancy hormones had her completely out of whack.
“Well, when you say it like that, honey, it sounds bad. When I stopped talking to you and left town, it was to protect you from me. I thought that after our one night together, I would be able to walk away and spare you from being disappointed in me. I couldn’t stand it if you thought worse of me for what happened that day.
But when you say it like that—no, I wasn’t considering your feelings about anything, baby, and I’m sorry.
” He felt like he needed to brace himself for what was about to come his way.
Sunny looked mad enough to spit nails. Sunny squared her shoulders to face him full on.
“Let’s get one thing straight, Aaron. You can’t just decide how I’m going to feel about something and then make decisions on how to handle everything. You should have told me what happened; we were at least friends before you left for California,” Sunny said.
Aaron barked out his laugh. “Honey, we were way more than just fucking friends, and you know it.” Sunny nodded her head and waved her hands in the air as if trying to erase what she just said.
“Fine, we were more than friends. But you took away all my choices when it came to us.” She motioned between the two of them, and Aaron took a timid step towards her.
“So, there is a chance that there may be an us?” Sunny smiled at him, and he chanced another step in her direction.
“You aren’t being a good listener, Aaron.
What I’m saying is that there is most definitely an us; the proof is larger than life.
” She rubbed her belly, and he rested his hand next to hers.
“But you were willing to throw all this away because you were too stubborn and too wrapped up in your self-pity party to even give me a second glance. Do you know what that felt like—seeing you pass by on the street and not even acknowledging my existence? It fucking hurt.” Aaron couldn’t help himself.
He took the final step to close the distance between the two of them and pulled her back into his arms.
“I’m so sorry that I hurt you, honey. I would do anything to take that back, but I can’t.
The only thing I can do now is to try to make everything up to you.
Will you allow me to try? I want to be a father to our daughter, and well, I want to be whatever you’ll let me be for you.
” Sunny smiled up at him, and it gave him so much damn hope.
“I’m not sure what I want from you, Aaron.
Right now, I like the way we are. We can figure out the rest as we go, if that’s okay with you?
” He nodded, not wanting to seem overly enthusiastic.
Sunny stretched in his arms and yawned. “I’m exhausted, and my back is killing me.
Do you mind if we go to sleep?” Aaron pulled her into the bedroom and helped her into his bed.
She didn’t fuss with him tonight, so he took that as a good sign.
“Do you mind if I ditch the robe? I like to sleep naked. Now that my belly is so big, it’s the only way that I can get comfortable,” she admitted.
“Um, sure.” Aaron’s voice squeaked, making him sound like a thirteen-year-old boy. Sunny laughed and pulled her robe off. He took it and removed the towel that he wrapped around his waist after their bath.
“You’re sure that you are okay with this? I can always sleep on your sofa.” Sunny said, around another yawn. Aaron pulled her into his arms, cradling her belly with his hands.
“I think I can handle this, honey. You just get some sleep.” Aaron lay in his bed, his body tangled up with Sunny and his baby, and he finally felt like his world was right again.
Actually, it never felt right, and he didn’t know what he did to deserve either of them, but he wouldn’t question it.
Sunny and their baby were quickly becoming his world, and he would never take them for granted again.