Chapter 15 - Christmas
It all felt like a déjà vu. Erik was back outside the front door of our house, trying to get in touch with me again. But this time I wasn't confused and scared, this time I was mad at him.
He had been an arsehole to me, and to many other people I love. That wasn't just something that I could accept, it was a pretty big deal. But at the same time I knew that he hadn't chosen to act like he did, sometimes his alpha-instincts kicked in. I was a bit confused too, I guess.
A difference from last time was that this time my family had gotten over it quickly and were practically forcing me to talk to my boyfriend. They were so tired at making him remove himself from the front-door every time they wanted to get into the house.
So, that is why I found myself in my room together with Erik again. You could practically feel the tension in the room, it was making it hard to breathe.
"Liam, please forgive me." Erik had those pleading eyes that he probably had used at least a hundred times before.
"Why? I mean.. It's all so messed up, why can't we just work? Together? Every time things seems to be going good something comes and messes it up in some way and... I don't know what to do." My gaze fell down to the floor. Why was this so much harder than everyone had ever told me?
"I think.. I think that this is kind of how relationships are supposed to work?
I am not going to lie, I have never been in a relationship that was this serious, so I don't really know either.
I just know that it has to work. In some way.
" He took two steps forward, standing close to me.
I lifted my eyes to meet his, I met another pair of eyes that seemed just as confused and scared as mine.
It felt good to know that I wasn't alone in being unsure and scared.
It felt like the air had stopped flowing around us, where we stood. Time slowed down as we both sucked in the feeling of not being alone. At least we had each other in this maze of confusing signals and wrongs and rights.
I reached out to touch his hand with my fingers and he willingly grabbed mine and embraced it with his warmth. I breathed out.
"Let's go down." He said with a soft voice.
Downstairs mom and dad sat in the kitchen, chatting quietly. Mom got a knowing smile on her face when she saw our linked hands in the doorway. Dad pretended to look away instead.
"Do you boys want anything to drink?" Mom asked and motioned at the fridge. I saw that she had gotten some kind of drink for herself already.
"Mom, are you drinking that christmas-drink? The one that we weren't supposed to open until christmas?" We had some kind of rule in our family, that you couldn't start celebrating christmas and everything that comes with it until at an appropriate time before the actual dates.
"Maybe. But dad and I agreed that we would start celebrating christmas early this year, so you can't blame me." Mom said, while looking a bit guilty. I couldn't believe that she had actually went against our rules!
"Fine, but then I'm getting some too." I went over to the fridge with Erik's hand still in mine. Then I poured up some of the delicious liquid in two glasses and handed one to Erik.
He stayed close to me, closer than usual. It wasn't bothering me, I guess he just wanted to feel that I was there. I guess I wanted to feel that too. Some calm christmas-melody played in the living room and the dark had fallen outside. It felt like the world had calmed down for a second.
With my drink in my hand and Erik in my other i slowly strolled to the living room to see the bright paper-star-lamps in the windows. The melody got to my head and i found myself humming with it. Suddenly Erik stopped behind me and brought my slow walk to a stop.
I turned around to look at him questionly. He had put his drink on a table and was watching me expectantly.
"What?"
He looked up to the ceiling, which made me look up. There, right over us, was a small green twig, barely reaching the requirements to be called a mistletoe.
I looked down and met his eyes with a small smile playing on my lips.
"Really?" I gave him a look.
"Mmhm." He said and bet down to put his lips on mine.
The feeling of his lips against mine still took my breath away, just like it had done the first time we had kissed. Every spark that could be felt was there, dancing between us in an invisible atmosphere. He felt like the most secure and calm place that could be, but still adventurous and exciting.
Slowly he ended the contact and snuggled his face into the crook of my neck, as I put one hand on the back of his.
"My little bird." He mumbled onto my skin.